This is a little embarrassing to admit because…as men, we’re told we have to be “masculine” and apparently everyone’s coming up with their own pre-conceived notions of what masculinity is…but if you know me, then you know honesty is forte.
This is about getting Likes or even Emojis for your work, posts, and social media. Essentially, it is “validation.” It’s cool to say things like, “I don’t NEED any validation”. Sure, sure.
The truth is…I don’t “NEED” it. But would I like it? Absolutely! Why does anyone post ANYTHING, if not to share and get some kind of reaction or validation back from the people who “follow” them. This isn’t a bad thing. We’re humans living in the age of technology. Once upon a time, we had local fairs and town squares. Now, we have social media.
Is it true that Black Men have “abandoned the church”? Clearly, there are still black men going to church. It’s not like you’ll walk into one and NOT see a black guy.
But from watching the pastors on Jason Whitlock’s show and hearing Kevin Samuels over the past few years, there does seem to be this perception that “black men have given up on the churches”. I thought this was strange. And personally, I’d have no way of knowing whether any of this is true…because *chuckles nervously* as a black guy, I don’t go to church.
First off, I want to make it clear that I don’t think churches, religious assemblies, and congregations are bad. I truly believe church and congregations are great and amazing events. The Old Testament taught that God loves assemblies. So, being that I’m a Christian…why don’t I go to one?
The issues I’m going to bring up may be reasons why other men have stopped going and we’re just too embarrassed to admit it. I haven’t seen anyone else address or mention the MAIN reason why I personally don’t go…So here goes…
THE CHURCH HAS CAVED TO MODERN WOKE IDEOLOGY –
Let’s begin by addressing the common reasons I heard about why Black Men have stopped going to the church. Mainly, the sentiment is that the message, the pastors and ministers, have stopped preaching the Truth. Instead, the “Truth” is being watered down to walk lock-step with today’s woke ideologies. And in turn, they’re catering to women, telling women what they want to hear, instead of what the Bible actually says.
For this one, I had to get my thoughts down about Will Smith. I didn’t speak up or publish any essays about the Will Smith/Chris Rock slap when it first happened because everyone was talking about it. But for this, I want to focus on the perspective of young black men “like myself” (not ALL black men) and why we were especially upset/disappointed with Will Smith.
Just a heads up, I’m very critical of Black Culture in this video and I talk about Christianity towards the end.
Recently, Jason Whitlock received a letter from a woman where she criticized him for talking about the problems in the Black Community, but not coming up with solutions. So, I had to get some thoughts down. Because I don’t believe for one second that she’s actually looking for solutions. She’s looking to shame Jason into silence so wickedness can continue.
What I’m going to say is going to sound shameful by today’s standards. People will think that I’m an awful person or I’m a self-hating Black. But I’ve been holding it in for a long time. So here goes.
I’m not a fan of today’s Black Culture…and by Black Culture, I’m talking about the stereotypes, the mainstream lifestyles, behaviors, and mindsets promoted by today’s black entertainers and cultural leaders.
When I heard the lady’s criticism of Jason Whitlock, I literally stopped everything while getting ready for work to record a video about it. I had to.
In the wake of Roe v Wade being overturned by the Supreme Court, many Youtubers were asking their followers (mostly black men) what they think. And sadly…what I’ve been seeing is this notion of “we gotta stay silent.”
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard such sentiments. Comedians have been preaching it to their audiences for years. “When it comes to abortion, we men need to shut the eff up” I believe Chappelle said, which was followed by raucous applause.
This was the comment from a Youtuber on the topic of Roe v Wade being overturned, “I’ve noticed when it comes to black women bodies and their sisterhood it’s best to say quiet fellas . All we can do is wrap it up and avoid a 18-year problem.”
Honestly, after seeing what’s been going on and recognizing the need for Men to actually step up and lead…I had to respond with this: “We can’t stay silent, bro. Unchecked immoral behavior is what’s led to the decline of our culture, society, and the increase of black children being born out of wedlock. We need to speak up. Some women need to be told something other than what stupid ideologues have been feeding them. We need to step up!”
Long story short, they don’t. It’s a trick. Ever since I was a kid, I simply nodded along to the cliché that good girls fall for the bad boys. Even after learning about the Red Pill and observing the dating culture, on the surface there does seem to be some truth to it. It wasn’t until recently that I started to question, “If you fall for a bad boy, are you really good?”
There’s important reasons as to why I’m writing this. 1) It’s insulting to the women who really are good. 2) It encourages men to be “bad boys”. 3) “Boring” is being used as a label, more than an adjective, which I think is a deceptive trick to pressure men into prioritizing what women want over being responsible and 4) I think it’s just one more thing people use to justify their bad behavior and foolish choices. As in…“Hey! It’s out of my hands. I’m good so I got no control over myself but to fall for the bad boy!”
You see it in movies and TV shows. There’s the good, honest, wholesome girl who ends up being enticed, manipulated, and turned away from her virtuous values by the Bad Boy. Sometimes, it’s depicted as a good thing. Often, the girl is being oppressed by her religiously strict parents or their rigid traditions that were always holding her back from what she really wanted.
“Nah-uh, Rock! Don’t even start! Alladin was not a bad boy! He was a good guy with a heart of gold! He only stole to survive. He only lied about being a prince because he really wanted to get with Jasmine! That doesn’t make him a ‘bad boy’.”
To love someone, you must first love yourself. Because if you don’t love yourself, how could you ever love someone else? Sounds like a profound question. In fact, the notion of loving yourself sounds all good and proper. And yet, through mere observation…something seems off.
The first time I heard about this notion of “loving yourself” was when I was 23-years-old, back in January 2010. It was by a Scientologist from my acting class, an older Venezuelan singer in his mid-30s. I remember that night. He spotted me on the treadmill while driving by the gym. I ended my work-out and we talked for hours about philosophy, love, and life. I remember his name. Jessy Leros!
This guy, who was signed by Sony and went on to star in NCIS New Orleans, was kind enough to school me, turning on my critical thinking skills, teaching me that just because two ways are presented to you, it doesn’t mean you can’t create a third. And it was him who told me, “in order to love someone, you must first love yourself.”
He said this because, back then…I was still about 312lbs and had a crush on one of the girls in our acting class. I confided in him about my lack of confidence. She was gorgeous and I really was this big, fat, ugly black dude. You can tell just by looking at Jessy that it’s hard to believe he ever had that problem. But still, he insisted the key was for me to focus on myself. To love myself. Be confident in myself. To have greater respect for myself.
Even before talking to Jessy, there were other Scientologists in the class imparting a similar philosophy. The emphasis on “self” was one of their main talking points. They had a very enticing concept that was, “What’s true for you is true for you…” which is tantamount to self-acceptance. It’s a shortened quote from L.Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology, who says, “What is true for you is what you have observed yourself. And when you lose that, you have lost everything.”
When it comes to fictional characters, James Bond and Bruce Wayne have always been my favorite guys when it comes to encouraging me to stay focused and forge ahead. Heads up, this post is going to include just one spoiler if you haven’t seen “The Batman” yet.
Some of the greatest moments in my life were often unseen. So many times, I’ve helped people, sacrificed for them, pushed myself to get things done for them and went without recognition. So many times I’ve resisted temptation, yet still suspected of giving in. So many times I could have taken the easy way, methods that would’ve hurt or betrayed others to get me where I wanted farther and faster. But I didn’t. Instead, I see others taking the easy (wrong) way and reaping the rewards, looking at me as if I’m the fool.
Most of the time, I take it in stride. I tell myself that God sees it and that’s enough. But every now and then, it starts to wear thin. The lack of appreciation or immediate rewards that almost feels like self-inflicted suffering starts to make me question whether being a good man is really worth it. Reading the Bible helps, but not when I’m resentful. Not when I’m down. Reading the Bible while I’m so full of pent-up frustration only makes me angrier at myself for not having enough faith.
It’s then that I sometimes put on any Batman or James Bond movie (excluding the Roger Moore depictions), and through the example of these characters I’m able to shake off this human desire for recognition, appreciation, or validation. Just stay focus on the mission.
James Bond and Bruce Wayne have a lot in common, more than people realize. But for me, the main thing I’ve always admired was their almost dogged-like determination to stay focused on the mission, the overall objective. They may encounter romance, friends, and side-tasks along the way, but at the end of the day, the mission comes first. As a Christian living in these modern times…how can I not find that inspirational? Allow me to explain.
Recently, news broke about a 63-year-old Pastor out of Iowa who married an 18-year-old woman after her birthday. People are outraged. They’re saying this is wrong. And yet…something seems odd here. For some reason, I find the reactions more interesting than the Pastor and his young Bride.
Don’t worry, this is gonna be lighthearted and easy. Feel free to comment and poke fun. It goes out to all the tall guys out there who went their whole lives not knowing that being tall was something Women liked about you. For those who aren’t tall…hopefully this gives you a different perspective.
Women like tall men…Is that a myth? Or is it true? The subject came up during a Youtube discussion where I said that I can’t do the “Cold Approach” and mentioned that I’m 6’3, 235lbs (among many other reasons).
A Commenter asked, “You can’t cold approach because you think your size intimidates women?”
Another one followed up with, “I am 5’9.5 being 6’3 is a plus in the dating market.”
This isn’t the first time I’ve been met with such skepticism. Nowadays, it’s out in the open. More and more women are upfront and honest about their desire for tall guys. It’s on their dating profiles. They put it in the comments section. Everyone wants it. They’re looking for men six feet or taller.
So…maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s just my rotten luck in life. Maybe it’s because I’m so ugly that it cancels out the fact that I am indeed taller than most men. But for the life of me, I never knew my height was such a desirable thing until a few years ago. I’m 35.
Now, before I get into the dating side of it, allow me to share what it was like growing up as one of the tallest dudes in the room. In the above picture, I was already the tallest in my family when I was 15.
Stage In The Sky 