For this one, I didn’t want to say Feminism…because I think it’s more widespread than those who call themselves, Feminists. The Sisterhood includes anyone, man or woman, regardless of race who promote and push a worldview that women can do whatever they want and anyone who tells them otherwise is the enemy.
Here, I expound on the seventh of eight main points I’ve personally observed to help explain how one thing after another has sabotaged (ruined) dating for my generation. And at the end of each section, I’ll try my best to provide a solution because, I know…these sound like excuses. But I haven’t given up. I still have faith.
- The Hook-Up Culture (Non-Monogamous Dating)
- Tinder (Dating Apps)
- Cat-Calling and False Accusations
- Gynocentric Worship of Women
- Brett Kavanaugh and Weaponizing Women
- The Rise of the Manosphere
- The Sisterhood
- Leaving Christianity at the Door
What is the Sisterhood? Plainly put…it’s the herd mentality where the individuals harbor a sense of superiority over the fact that they are women, meaning they think they’re better than men and are entitled to better treatment and more respect than men. Disclaimer: I’m not talking about ALL women, or even mostly BLACK women. Also, this is another long one…Mrs. Els and SeekingDivine! 😀
The mainstream would have you believe that most men are the problem, that we’re misogynistic and want to oppress women…but really, most of us cherish women. The expectations we have are mostly based on traditional gender roles, such as that dreaded submission, which is actually a directive from God (Ephesians 5), which is why you often hear how a lot of ladies call themselves “spiritual but not religious”.
More than anything, the Sisterhood exhibits a twisted Stockholm-like mentality where a lot of these ladies are actually 10x more afraid the disapproval from other women. Meaning, if you ask them a question and the answer is likely to offend other women, she’ll probably lie, deflect, or give a pre-approved answer that other women have already given just to be safe.
For instance, in the above video, a woman thinks every woman at the table is a 10. But when asked about the men at the table and whether she’d rate them a 10, she starts laughing, as in, “don’t be absurd”.
To be clear…I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a group of people (men or women) coming together to stand in solidarity or to push each other to be more successful. The problem as it relates to dating, is when you consider the needs and wants of ONLY you and your group, over everything else…such as men, children, and society.
Men of my generation are often criticized for “looking for someone to act like their momma.” People will say, “A woman’s looking to you to be her rock. You can’t be vulnerable and let your feelings out in front of her because she’s not your momma. She’s not equipped to handle your feelings.”
I disagree and refuse to accept that mentality. I’d opine that women have traditionally been more more self-sacrificing and supportive. But today, thanks to the Sisterhood, leaving Christianity at the door, and the negative experiences women have suffered, a lot of ladies have allowed themselves to adapt the mentality of “putting yourself first” to “love yourself first”. Self-love.
Instead of being raised to be wives and mothers, it seems most are being raised to be strong and independent.
“But Rock, you can be both! God, why are men are just so intimidated by strong and independent women?! That’s so weak.”
Let’s say that’s true. Let’s say that Men are indeed intimidated by strong and independent women. Now what? Because the thing about some of us who really are strong and intimidating, believe it or not, we actually take the feelings of others into consideration. We smile more, to show a gentle more friendlier side to get everyone to relax and be comfortable around us.
We don’t walk around with our chests all puffed out, talking about some “ya’ll just scared of me! Y’all all weak and intimidated!” Don’t get me wrong, those people exist. But we usually call those people as assholes and jerks. That’s not what you are, is it?
Here’s a secret…Men don’t like complaining about things such as wanting more affection, love, or appreciation from the women they’re with. For a man to openly have to speak these things, it makes us feel weak and emasculated. If that’s not who you are and you present yourself as someone lacking in compassion or care for the feelings of others…you run the risk of being GHOSTED because most men would rather protect their egos than risk having to explain how he wants your love and affection.
That’s right, ladies. Men DO have egos. I’d argue that it’s intrinsically linked to his confidence, ambition, and self-esteem, things Women CLAIM they want in a man. Once upon a time, Women understood this and didn’t gas-light men into thinking it was a bad thing. As Andrew Tate puts it, when you cater to a man’s ego, YOU WIN!
Also, let’s not act like women don’t have egos as well. How many times have you heard a woman say, “I’m the prize” or “he needs to make X amount of money for me to date him” or “I deserve” or “I’m worth it.”…is that not ego?
Here’s an example of the typical Sisterhood mentality: If I get around female friends or family members, chances are, one will ask, “Rock! How are you still single? You’re so handsome? How is it that no woman’s been able to snatch you up?”
And when I start to say things like, “I’m not really into single mothers. A lot of women are into the hook-up culture, which I don’t engage in. I believe in putting God first and a lot of Christians out here are Christian in name only, rejecting the Scriptures that go against their lifestyles. And the few Christian girls I have met, they were a bit overweight, which I don’t find attractive.”
Notice…I didn’t say women were bad people. I wasn’t talking about ALL women and everything I said, a Good Christian woman could just as easily say about the bad men she’s experienced. But despite the fact that I’m talking about OTHER women, women who aren’t even in the room…chances are, because of this Sisterhood mentality, almost every woman I’m talking to, whether it’s a female associate or an aunt who’s known me my whole life…these women will feel insulted. As if I’m talking about them personally.
And that’s a little different from the way most men would take it. Because if you laid out the male stereotypes (especially Black Men) about how they are deadbeat dads, or that men only care about a woman’s body, or how they aren’t as honorable, rough, and strong like our fathers and grandfathers…a lot of us good men wouldn’t be insulted. Because we know you’re not talking about us specifically.
We know that there are indeed rotten douchebag men out there. It’s only when we hear ladies use words like “all” and “every” that we start to get annoyed. Like when Tomi Lahren had the balls to say “All men are trash.”
With the Sisterhood, there is no following a man’s lead. Which is why it drives me up the wall when I hear pundits say “Men need to step up, marry these women, and be leaders…” as if they have no clue that so many are being raised NOT to follow a man’s lead.
Anything that uplifts men, God, or families is scorned by the Sisterhood. Anything that promotes men and women getting together in the spirit of love, cooperation, and harmony…the sisterhood detests.
Just recently, they went after Aretha Franklin’s “A Natural Woman.” A few years back, they demonized “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” The Sisterhood doesn’t stand on any principle or standard and they don’t even pretend to hide their contradictions. They’ll call these songs bad and offensive, but the plethora of songs currently hitting the airwaves, songs like WAP by Cardi B and Meg the Stallion, that’s okay.
The point is, a lot of these ladies aren’t thinking for themselves. They’re just towing the line of popular opinion. If the popular opinion of this unofficial “Sisterhood” says something is bad, they’ll believe it and go along for fear of being ostracized or because they want the continued approval, love, and validation…from the sisterhood.
When I talk about “fear of being ostracized,” look at JK Rowling. Look at Adele. Look at Fantasia. Look at anyone’s who changed their lives, which goes against the lifestyles promoted by the Sisterhood. These women get all kinds of hate from the Sisterhood who are supposed to be Feminists. You know. That movement that was supposed to be in favor of a woman’s FREEDOM to chose how she wants to live.
Whenever you go against the Sisterhood, all the Feminism goes out the window. The ladies who openly say they actually do “need” a man are called all kinds of names like “pick-mes” or “trad-cons“.
Recently, Taraji P. Henson…who I personally think is one of the best actresses in the world…she came out and admitted how unhappy she was despite having traveled the world, despite having a son, despite being rich and famous and having all the cars and materialistic things she could ever want…there’s still something missing.
In the above video, PinkBook breaks it down masterfully, how women like Taraji are so afraid of offending the sisterhood that they can’t just come out and admit that they’d either need a man or they know they’ll find greater happiness in simply being with someone. For a lot of women, the love from the sisterhood in lieu of a husband or boyfriend seems to be enough. But for how long?
I’d argue that this love from the Sisterhood is one of the main things holding a lot of women back. On social media, you can see it clearly. Other than men with Blue Check Marks, most women only comment and like the photos, posts, and videos from other women, encouraging them, supporting them, complimenting them.
It doesn’t matter how stupid their post is, hordes of women will like the post and say things like, “Yass queen. Do you!”
At one point, I really did wonder…“Are all these women looking to get married to other women? Because the way they give so much priority and importance to what other women think, as opposed to what men think…it really is as if they’re hoping to land a woman.”
That being said…there are some influential men who are also part of the problem. Bringing me to Derrick Jaxn.
To be honest, when I first saw Derrick Jaxn’s videos way back in 2018, I didn’t think he was doing anything wrong. I agreed with some of his sentiments, like how Women should have greater respect for themselves not to accept abuse and disrespect from the men in their lives. Derrick was mainly calling out all the bad dudes…which I know I’m not, so I wasn’t too bothered by his rhetoric…at first.
But over time, and with each video I saw…I saw a pattern. Derrick was telling these women what they “wanted” to hear more so than what they needed to hear, such as how staying in shape is important, or how men aren’t interested in “strong and independent” types. Derrick was gassing these women up with things like, “That’s because men are intimidated by you, because he ain’t a real man, because he can’t handle you.”
And so, Derrick Jaxn became the darling for the Sisterhood. But here’s where things get interesting. Derrick Jaxn got married. And during that short-lived marriage, I’m sure I’m not the only one who noticed how the “Sisterhood” was a bit critical of his wife…one of their own. You know…a woman.
Earlier in 2022, it came out that Derrick Jaxn cheated on his wife. It was a huge blow to the sisterhood…or it should have been. A lot of dudes were expecting it to be the end of Jaxn. All men are trash, right? Derrick’s a dog for doing what he did, right? Did the Sisterhood denounce him and stop paying any attention? Well…see for yourself.
Again…it’s not about any set code or principle. It’s about feelings. If the Sisterhood likes you, if they like how you make them feel, you can damn near get away with murder.
And here’s what’s even more despicable about the Sisterhood…even when other Men have been calling out Derrick Jaxn as a liar and grifter for years…when he finally cheated and proved every man right, you have ladies like this one using it to hate all men and bash the institution of marriage.
Let me break that down…imagine you’re in a field. You have a crowd of 100 men all saying that Derrick Jaxn is lying to women and will likely cheat. WHEN HE DOES…instead of getting mad at ONLY Derrick Jaxn, you’ll have women who will look at the other 100 men and bash them as if we’re ALL like Derrick Jaxn.
I believe this happens as a coping mechanism. It’s the same way we see ladies like Tomi Lahren say “all men are trash” just because she and her friends keep picking “trash men.” To cope with their failures, they demean the institution of marriage and tell themselves that all Men are the problem.
If you can convince yourself that all men are trash or marriage is evil and oppressive, it 1) removes or reduces the societal pressure of getting married, 2) helps you not to feel bad about not being married or having children and 3) it allows you to go on thinking you’re good the way they are, that you don’t need to change because it’s not your fault. You aren’t the problem. It’s everyone else.
“But, Rock! Isn’t that what the manosphere is teaching young men about women and marriage?”
Maybe? But from what I’ve seen, they mostly blame the government, the laws, and social media that incentivize and encourages women to divorce and indulge in 304 activities. And of course, I personally blame Satan and all humans who turn their back on God’s word the Holy Bible. Why?
Because unlike the push to abolish gender roles, God outlines the roles that Men and Women should have in a society. You can call it societal constructs all you want, but I’d argue that the frustration doesn’t come from us “men not getting with the program.” It comes from fighting against your nature, how God designed you to be.
What I loved about what the woman says around 13 minutes in, was that as much as other women like to say, “Oh, you just want to go overseas or date a younger woman because you want to control her! You want someone you can easily manipulate.”
Men don’t need to control or manipulate women who already embrace their feminine desires to serve and take care of their families. If that’s not the kind of woman you are, if that’s not the woman you want to be, doesn’t it make sense for these men to leave you alone and seek out women elsewhere?
Or is it your contention that Men should just take what you give them and be damn grateful to get anything. Which of course, goes against the notion that you want a confident man, because confident men have the self-respect to say no.
SUBMISSION –
We have to talk about Submission because this is a big difference from prior generations, the modern woman’s unwillingness to submit to her husband as the leader of the family. A lot of women are taught that marriage isn’t a relationship, it’s a partnership. They stress the notion of “50/50” and equality, not headship or leadership.
And of course, even with their belief in a 50/50 partnership, if you talk to them, you’ll realize that they’re just regurgitating talking points that simply don’t make sense. Check out this lady.
The saddest thing about this clip is that you can tell this woman probably hasn’t ever thought about her own beliefs. If you watch it again, she really does sound like a programmed computer spitting out answers. And it isn’t until her answers contradict that, just like a computer, she crashes.
If you even mention the word “submit” or “head of the household” most Millennial women will sneer at you. If you try to teach or lead, you’ll be criticized for being too patronizing, condescending, or man-splaining.
And sometimes…when these modern women do find that strong masculine leader they “claim” they’re looking for, what happens is that they’ll increase their own masculinity to try to compete with him. I’m sure you’ve seen it before.
This usually happens when a man’s calling the shots and showing strong decision-making skills, not to be bossy, but because he’s just being a good leader. But for some reason, this prompts her to increase her own assertiveness. To challenge, question, and compete with him. She’s suddenly telling you what to do as if you don’t already know. She’s refusing to let you do anything for her and gets mad when you suggest anything that remotely sounds like you’re trying to change/teach/lead her.
This is why a lot of men don’t buy into this notion of, “I’ll only be feminine in the presence of a masculine man who’ll allow me to be safe and secure in my femininity.”
“So, what Rock. You’re looking for someone who’s not going to challenge you? You just don’t want to be challenged?”
I’ve heard that before and sometimes I wonder if people even realize what the definition of “challenge” is. I’m just gonna paste the definition here and “challenge” you to ask yourself, “Why in the hell would a man who’s working hard and grinding all day, would want to come home and be challenged by his wife.”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying a woman can’t tell a man what to do, but it shouldn’t be a competition. For instance, if I go to a school where my wife teaches and she starts telling me what to do or where to put my things, I’m not going to be upset or give her all kinds of push-back. This is her school. I’m going to assume she knows what she’s doing and the proper procedures. I’ll have no problems following her lead.
What I believe is happening, as it pertains to submission in marriage, is that there’s a conflict that goes against the Sisterhood’s programming to never “need no man” or how you should never be in inferior. It’s all about wanting/needing to feel equal, or on the same level. This is why a lot of women who are used to drama and dysfunction simply cannot be with a stable (boring) man who has his life together. They’re looking for someone who’s just as messed up as they are so they can avoid being judged.
The sad thing about this need to feel equal, is that I think it actually keeps everyone from growing. When I was building myself up in my 20s, I heard the philosophy of “if you feel like you’re the smartest person in the room, then you’re in the wrong room.”
The point being, you should surround yourself with people who are actually better than you in areas you want to grow. This requires admitting that there are in fact people better than you. If you humble yourself, and befriend those people, looking for mentorship and guidance, you will grow. Whether it’s in finance, knowledge, wisdom, or even spirituality.
Other than “shared values,”…I’d love to find a woman who’s better than me in areas that I lack. Such as, my strength with her compassion. My meticulous planning with her knack for being spontaneous. My brutal honesty with her ability to consider how others might respond to it. My thinking the worse of people while she sees the good in them. Together, we’d balance each other out and make for an awesome team.
“I dunno, Rock. Sounds like you guys would be arguing a lot.”
I don’t think so. Arguing is not the same as talking it out and having a conversation, which is why “chemistry” matters. Knowing how to disagree with someone while making them smile…it’s a beautiful thing. Not to mention, it’s a sign of maturity to know when to pick and choose your battles. I don’t mind letting people think they’ve won every now and then.
To be clear, looking for someone who’s better in areas I lack, does NOT mean I’m looking for someone who’s my opposite. I’m the upbeat optimistic person who’s fired up on a Monday while everyone else is dragging their feet, loathing the fact that they have to work. I can’t be with someone who’s constantly negative, always complaining and shooting down every suggestion to improve or look on the bright side. I’m the affectionate, lovey-dovey type. I absolutely CANNOT be with a woman who’s more guarded, reserved, and less romantic (emotional) than me.
When it comes to why a woman should “submit” to her husband, while some men have gone out of their way to come up with some half-cooked logic, for me, it’s simple. It’s because that’s what God says through his word the Bible. (Ephesians 5: 22-33)
Ladies, I swear to you…if God instructed us through his word the Bible that 1) whoever makes the most money makes the rules or 2) Men should submit to their wives and wives are to be the heads of their households…I would obey and submit to my future wife and heed her authority. Not because it’s what women want or that’s what the modern culture’s pushing. It’s because that’s what God commanded.
Trust me when I say I’m not looking to lord over my wife. I’ve spent most of my adulthood living by myself so I can cook and clean well. But on big issues where someone needs to make a decision, like where we live, how we raise our children, or who we let into our homes, I’ll take my wife’s thoughts and opinions into consideration…but at the end of the day, I’ll need my wife to follow my lead.
And when it comes to the Modern Woman, don’t think we haven’t noticed how women are willing to SUBMIT to their careers, their education, their instructors, their managers, the whims of the market, and even the customers. They’re willing to do all that but not submit to the one man you vowed to love and spend the rest of your life with?
“Well, submitting to all those other things pays off! We’re getting something in return by submitting to our bosses or instructors, whether it’s a good grade, a promotion, or a paycheck. What do we get by submitting to our husbands?”
How about a loving and faithful relationship? Knowing that you have someone to wake up with every morning. Someone you can depend on to help you out, to listen to your problems, to help you navigate through hard times. If your love for God isn’t enough, how about the stability, protection, comfort, and ease.
I’m not saying times will always be perfect, but dude…If you’ve picked the right man with shared values who’s smart, strong, capable, and responsible, you’re not going to be worried about submitting or being a follower. You’re going to be glad to have someone to lean on, someone to help take the weight off your shoulders. I bet that’s what this lady’s thinking.
Not to mention, how many times have we heard Black Women talk about how they NEEDED to be more masculine because they didn’t have a man they could depend on? This video bellow by PinkBook Lessons has multiple women all explaining that they aren’t as Feminine as the previous generation and it’s Men’s fault. I’m not saying it isn’t…because I do believe Men should be leaders…but again, if you want a leader, you’re going to need to follow. Make a choice.
BABY MOMMA CULTURE
Another problem with the Sisterhood is the Baby Momma Culture, because the Sisterhood prioritizes self and women putting themselves above all else, including their husbands…and their children. Nowadays, it’s getting out of control. They’re not even ashamed of it anymore. They actively promote, celebrate, and encourage Single Motherhood as the preferred lifestyle, as if it’s more important and beneficial than being a wife and giving your child a stable two-parent household.
Nah-uh Rock! These ladies aren’t single. They have boyfriends who they’re in a stable relationship with.”
If he loves you enough to get you pregnant and stay with you when the baby’s born, why not marry you? Jason Whitlock gets a lot of crap for highlighting the issue on his show, “Fearless,” and recently a female listener wrote to him and complained that he doesn’t push a “balanced view” when it comes to placing equal share of the blame and responsibility on men. Every time you bring up the epidemic of single mothers, they hit you with, “well what about those deadbeat dads?”
Here’s the thing…I know people want everyone to have an equal blame and responsibility, but you’re wrong. It can’t be equal because the process of giving birth isn’t equal. A man’s role in conception can be done in minutes. Whereas a woman will have to carry that child in her body for nine months. That is not equal. Men and women are not the same.
Thus, the responsibility of picking the right man and vetting him to reduce the risk of picking a “deadbeat dad”…most of the blame is on women. Irresponsible good-for-nothing men exist. They will always exist. If you hear that someone’s a thief, but you choose to hang out with them and end up getting robbed, sure you can blame the thief, but it was your stuff, your belongings. You chose to hang out with them.
“But, Rock! You don’t need both parents to raise a good child.”
Even if that’s true. Even if it’s true that you don’t need both parents to raise a child, why WOULDN’T you want to give that child the blessing of waking up every morning knowing that they have a mom and dad under the same roof that they can rely on? Why wouldn’t you? Honestly, what on earth would make you think it’s MORE beneficial to have just one parent in the home?
It’s all nonsense and you know it. The promotion of the Baby Momma/Single Mother Culture is a coping mechanism to help women deal with the fact that they’ve made bad choices and engaged in reckless, selfish behavior.
Kevin Samuels has debunked it time and time again, how there are more black women with biological children, than black men with biological kids. Meaning, Women keep HAVING BABIES WITH THE SAME DEADBEAT MEN! They KNOW these are deadbeat fathers, but for some reason, they keep shacking up and giving these men they’re children. Still think men deserve an equal share of the blame?
It’s no different from the plethora of young women dating Leonardo DiCaprio. It’s no secret that Leo doesn’t date women over 25. So if you get with him, he has his way with you, and breaks up with you after you turn 26…come on, man.
In this singe picture above, I see fourteen baby mommas who all had children with one man. But he deserves equal share of the blame, right? Not the fourth or fifth woman who saw how irresponsible he was. It’s him. He’s the problem, right? …equally…
If a man wanders into a lion’s cage even though there are warning signs, and this man ends up getting mauled…does the lion deserve equal blame for this man’s death? If you swim out to sea with no life jacket and drown…is the sea equally responsible for your death?
“But Rock. A man isn’t a lion. He’s a…”
DEADBEAT! Correct ma’am! And you know this by the warning signs that are the six children he has with six other baby mommas! Trust me when I say, Men give each other a hard time too when it comes to picking a woman who’s 1) marrying him just for his money or 2) will likely cheat and divorce him due to the obvious signs of promiscuity. We blame HIM more so than the harlot who took advantage of him.
Alright, let’s move on.
In this video below, a woman breaks down Denzel Washington who’s been married to one woman for over 30 years. He’s not the only old-school celebrity with successful marriages. Dolly Parton and surprisingly, my childhood crush Gloria Estefan, have remained married during the duration of their careers.
In the above video, Denzel Washington credits his wife as a good woman. He talks about how he was out doing movie shoots on different continents, but his wife stuck by him, who raised their children while he was in London. He mentions it takes a “strong woman” to do that. And I agree! That’s why I hate it when people like to equate submission or the traditional wife to weakness.
Instead of ladies exercising the guidance from Titus 2: 3-5 that encourages older women to teach the younger ladies to love their husbands and children, the Sisterhood will fight, argue, and ignore any and all logical advice. They will dismiss the facts and stats. They’ve made gods out of themselves, ruled by their emotions, feelings, and self-perceived victimhood to justify believing whatever they want and living however they want.
More importantly, the Sisterhood will say it’s about empowering them and helping them to live more fulfilled lives. But really, it’s sabotage. Those who are well past the age of 35, yet single and childless, there’s a clock on their ability to produce children.
Feminism and the Sisterhood have lied to women by telling them that they can and should be able to do anything a Man can do. Unfortunately, biology has something to say about all that (again, if your love for God isn’t enough). Men, can reproduce and have children well past the age of 50/60. A woman’s ability to reproduce starts to decline past the age of 30. (see post on Lola Jones and Venus Williams) This is important because Good Men desire families. If you can’t produce children, I’m not saying you aren’t valuable in a society…but you have to question how valuable you can be to that man if you can’t give him children.
“My Body My Choice” right? In only thinking of yourselves and expecting men to accept you no matter what, you’re limiting your pool of potential suitors.
And what’s sad…is when these ladies realize all the mistakes they’ve made, while there are some who take to TikTok to warn others, the ladies who get the most airtime are the ones who continue to push the lie. Why?
For starters, it feels good to believe in the lie. If you’re sad and depressed, who wouldn’t want to hear, “it’s going to be alright?” Another reason why these ladies are sabotaging the younger up-and-coming ladies is…well, I can think of three powerful reasons off the top of my head.
- Governmental Control: If you don’t have a husband, chances are you’re going to be more dependent on the government to provide and protect you. This gives more power and control to that government. Meaning, if you want them to support you, you better vote for them. We see this happening in places like S. Korea, where there was a video about the lives of unmarried women in their 30s and 40s demanding that the government step up to help them out. That’s not the role of government. That supposed to be the role of family.
- Son Husbands and Sister-Daughters: Son husbands and Sister-Daughters are boys and girls who grew up without a father in the household and are raised by their single-mothers with the mentality to never truly branch out and start their own family, but to make the mother the main priority and purpose in their lives. I’m not saying it’s bad for children to grow up and want to take care of their parents. But these mothers are the types who wreck and ruin their daughter’s relationships if it’s a threat to her power and control.
- Ruining the Fresh Crop: I apologize if the analogy of “fresh crop” is offensive, but the “Fresh Crop” are the young, up and coming ladies who are at the peak of their sexual attractiveness. The post-wall lady will give bad advice to the Fresh Crop to sabotage them because, essentially, the Fresh Crop is their competition.
Yes, ladies will try to shame Men for wanting to date younger women. But these older women can’t stop what they themselves did when they were young. They might have hooked up with guys their own age, but they also went for men much older than themselves.
Instead of admitting ANY of this, these post-wall ladies will pass down the bad advice they fell for either to make the younger generation non-marriage material for the men in the 30s or, in a bit of Satanic fashion, to tarnish and drag down as many as they can so they aren’t alone in their suffering.
It’s like being in a classroom where you and a few others didn’t do your homework. It’s not so bad if NOBODY did their homework. Now you can all fail together. It’s now normal. And if it’s normal…it’s acceptable.
Solutions:
Just like I told the men in my post about the Manosphere, ladies…you really do have to look at the women who are giving you the advice and ask yourself, “Do I really want to be like her?” How many of these women who are giving you dating advice are in loving, healthy, long-term marriages? How many celebrities with their lyrics about being strong and independent, are truly strong and independent? Beyonce’s with a man who cheated on her. Cardi B says she doesn’t cook or clean, but she really does. Do you get the picture?
On that note, I’d be remiss if I failed to point out that there is hope. More and more, I’m seeing ladies speak up and call out the contradictions and hypocrisies celebrities put out in their songs and lyrics. Recently, Ciara came out with a teaser to a song where she’s still talking about needing no man, or being an independent woman…and a lot of women called her out on it.
Of course, the asterisk to the backlash I see Ciara and others getting for peddling the “independent/don’t need no man” mentality is that I’m seeing it from older women in their 30s and 40s. It’d be even more refreshing if I saw this attitude from ladies who are still in their 20s and at their peak SMV.
I say that, because…that’s the pattern that really needs to end. This cycle of “having your fun and riding the CC all during your 20s” and only realizing you need a good man AFTER you’ve been through a whole bunch of drama or you’re not getting the same attention you used to get when you were younger.
I don’t want to dismiss or discredit the women who have actually been through a lot of trauma. A lot of women grew up without fathers and had to watch as their mothers struggled, mothers who then passed down that “independent, I don’t need no man” attitude down to their daughters who were raised to be more masculine than others.
But now that you know the truth, you have a choice. You can continue being assertive, masculine, and refusing to submit to no man. Or you can work on being kinder, more supportive, encouraging, nurturing. Men are looking for wives, women who allow themselves to depend on their men, who allow themselves to lower their guards and be more vulnerable, loving, and affectionate.
“Well, why can’t men treat women like they’re so important to him.”
We do! And what’s worse, is you KNOW we do. Unfortunately, a lot of you ladies put these guys in the “friend zone” while going for ain’t ish dudes. I talked about this in the Manosphere post. There are men telling other men to never treat a woman like she’s too important to him.
I disagree with that mentality. A lot of men do. But what happens? How do you respond when a man treats you with love and kindness? How do you respond when he texts right away, when he lets you know that he’s just thinking about you? Are you turned off by him being “nice, stable, and responsible”? Do you think that’s weak? If you don’t, congrats. You’re one of the good ones. I hope someone finds you.
The truth is, most men want to be your hero, your knight in shining armor for the woman he loves. Let him be that. There’s no such thing as a selfless act in relationships. Everything we do is for a reason. EVEN IF WE SIMPLY WANT TO DO IT… it’s because of the pleasure, the joy, and the honor we feel in doing it for you.
Men and Women are equal in value, but different by nature. We should celebrate these differences. Not compete to make us all the same. In the Bible it talks about being “meek and humble”. Any feminist who also wants to be Christian should indeed humble themselves to the role God instructed them to serve. I know it won’t be easy because you’re going against the grain here.
But true God-fearing men are in the same boat. We don’t care about being called “kings” nor do we place a high value on the things the world’s telling us to pursue, like sex, money, cars, and materialistic things.
As a 36-year-old virgin, I’ve seen it plenty of times how women, whether they’re Christian or not…they don’t find it attractive that I have little to no sexual experience. But I remained steadfast, clinging to God’s word the Bible and choosing to obey the Scriptures. And just like some God-fearing Women take pleasure in serving their husbands and family, I take pleasure in serving God to the best of my abilities.
In so doing, I will never cheat on you. I will treat you as my closest confidant and friend. I will laugh with you. Cry with you. Be your shield, a source of strength and encouragement. Your enemies will be my enemies and your loved ones are my loved ones. You will be my companion for life. I will never see you as inferior or beneath me but admire the strength it takes to follow and help.
Let’s work together to start a family and raise our children to survive this world, having the hope of everlasting life in the Kingdom of God. (Matt 6:33)
Stage In The Sky 