romance

All of the Benefits but None of the Conditions – Marriage and Salvation

Posted by Rock Kitaro on May 1, 2022
Posted in: Christianity, religion, romance. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 10 Comments

So…came across one of Melanie King’s videos where, once again, a lady’s confirming what a lot of guys have been saying about the dating culture these days. But don’t worry. I’m also going to hit at Male Leadership and why we as Christians need to stand firm. 

In the beginning of the video, the soon-to-be divorced woman says, “you can’t dress a certain way and you can’t post sexy pictures on social media. But I dressed a certain way when I first met you!”…she says this to complain that her husband was “controlling”.  

Couple of thoughts here. First, you could say that this is just who she is, sexual and sensual, and a man has no right to change her. “WOMEN AREN’T DRESSED TO IMPRESS YOU! WE DRESS LIKE THIS BECAUSE IT MAKES US HAPPY!”  

Right, if you’re in that camp, this essay ain’t for you. I’m talking to the real ones out here who respect straight-forward honesty. I’m talking to the ladies who know they dress a certain way and posts pictures WITH THE INTENT of getting attention, attracting a mate. This doesn’t have to mean slutty or half-naked pictures…but come on. I’ve seen many of sistahs fully clothed in dresses that tell me everything I need to know and I’m like…  

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Apparently Women Want Tall Men…Just Not You

Posted by Rock Kitaro on March 20, 2022
Posted in: Essays, Food for Thought, romance. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 4 Comments

Don’t worry, this is gonna be lighthearted and easy. Feel free to comment and poke fun. It goes out to all the tall guys out there who went their whole lives not knowing that being tall was something Women liked about you. For those who aren’t tall…hopefully this gives you a different perspective.

Women like tall men…Is that a myth? Or is it true? The subject came up during a Youtube discussion where I said that I can’t do the “Cold Approach” and mentioned that I’m 6’3, 235lbs (among many other reasons).  

 A Commenter asked, “You can’t cold approach because you think your size intimidates women?” 

 Another one followed up with, “I am 5’9.5 being 6’3 is a plus in the dating market.” 

This isn’t the first time I’ve been met with such skepticism. Nowadays, it’s out in the open. More and more women are upfront and honest about their desire for tall guys. It’s on their dating profiles. They put it in the comments section. Everyone wants it. They’re looking for men six feet or taller.  

So…maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s just my rotten luck in life. Maybe it’s because I’m so ugly that it cancels out the fact that I am indeed taller than most men. But for the life of me, I never knew my height was such a desirable thing until a few years ago. I’m 35.   

Now, before I get into the dating side of it, allow me to share what it was like growing up as one of the tallest dudes in the room.  In the above picture, I was already the tallest in my family when I was 15. 

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Being Tricked and Lied To: Single-Mothers and Picking the Wrong Guy

Posted by Rock Kitaro on February 19, 2022
Posted in: Christianity, Essays, romance. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 3 Comments

I was tricked! I was misled! They lied to me! Everybody makes mistakes! They gave me false hope! Deep within these statements is an acknowledgement that so many try to detach themselves from. If you were fooled…that means you were a fool. It means You messed up. 

This is important to point out because if you don’t, you’re essentially saying there’s nothing (or very little) you could’ve done to avoid your situation in life. The purpose of this essay isn’t to belittle people, but to empower them. Not the social justice way where everything hinges on how everyone else treats you and whether or not they accept you…but to give you greater control of yourself, strengthening you to believe that whatever happens to you, is because of you.

Step one to change is awareness. This means calling out all the lies and helping you acknowledge the truth. The truth doesn’t always sound pleasant. So if it sounds like I’m “attacking you,” please believe that it’s out of love that I write these things. But when it comes to single mothers and children being born out of wedlock, this issue is something I find myself deeply passionate about.

And of course, I know have to tread with caution. I think a big reason why the harsh truths about this subject isn’t talked about so openly…is because it would mean criticizing a lot of people we may know, love, and care about, especially in the black community. A lot of us were raised by strong single mothers. Our sisters and cousins are single mothers. We’d sooner hurt ourselves than intentionally cause them pain, such as talking about this touchy subject. But if we don’t talk about it because we’re so afraid of hurting people’s feelings…how will things ever change? Do we have any right to complain when none of us lifts a finger or says a word to point out what we need to be doing? So here I go…

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I Was Asked if I Dated “Intelligent Women”…

Posted by Rock Kitaro on February 5, 2022
Posted in: Food for Thought, romance. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 6 Comments

I had a conversation with Marisol…the 34-year-old Atheist on my boss’s old radio show. I said I’d be willing to date a woman as young as 18, not that I’d prioritize dating someone so young, but that I was willing to. She was shocked. 

That’s when Marisol said, “wouldn’t you like a woman with more experience, and someone you had more in common with? I mean, don’t you like intelligent women?” 

The thing is…more and more, intelligence is starting to sound like a subjective matter. A career bank-robber can have intelligence to successfully pull off a heist but is incredibly stupid when it comes to thinking the law won’t catch up with them and they’ll have to serve time.  

In regard to Marisol’s question…this is going to sound extremely vain, but it’s my honest thoughts and I don’t particularly think I’m wrong.  

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The Hidden Truth About Today’s Dating Culture – What Wise Men See

Posted by Rock Kitaro on December 20, 2021
Posted in: religion, romance. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 4 Comments

This one goes out to my Dad, the already married folks, and the old-school generation who have no clue what the dating culture is like these days. Because I feel bad for him every time he asks about my dating. I know he wants a grandchild so bad. But this world is so bad…I have to be selective. I have to be wise and discerning. 

In this essay, I’ve included plenty of Youtube videos so you can see that it’s not just me saying this. And it’s not just Men recognizing the issues, but more and more Women are speaking up, because it affects them too. However, for us men, we have to be careful with providing our perspective because we run the risk of being called a misogynist. God knows I love women. I credit beautiful women as one of my greatest sources of motivation. Beautiful women inspired me to hit the gym and lose 178lbs. Women inspired me to want to make something of myself, becoming a published author and excelling in life. 

And to the ladies reading this…One thing you’ll notice is that I don’t make any demands of women. You won’t hear me say things like women need to change, step up, or be better. Mostly because, despite the many examples you’ll see, it hasn’t warped the fact that I know there are already good, beautiful, God-fearing women who don’t shy away from the Scriptures. But finding these ladies, connecting with them, how to approach them…it’s not like the old days. My generation has ruined that. 

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Why I’m Not Going MY Own Way – Christian Sigma

Posted by Rock Kitaro on November 28, 2021
Posted in: Christianity, religion, romance. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 Comments

I’m not afraid to die alone. When most people hear about how long I’ve been single, it’s easy to assume I’m just a man “going my own way” (MGTOW). I’m not. I’m glad I discovered Sigmas...because I’ve concluded a majority of people just don’t understand. And when they don’t understand you…clearly, there’s something wrong with you.  

 After about 3 months of starting online dating again…I learned that not much has changed since I tried the last time back in 2014. Except the sites cost more. But this isn’t to complain about the dating culture in general. At this point, it’s about as pointless as complaining about water being wet.  

What I’m about to say…I’m speaking on behalf of myself. I don’t know if other 35-year-old single men are like me. But here goes.  

Ever since I was young, my father taught me to set goals for myself and to accomplish whatever I said I’m going to do. I love that. I’m great at that and derive an incredible boost of confidence and self-worth from my ability to accomplish those goals. That being said…I don’t like to make goals in which my success depends too much on another person. In this case, my getting married and having children depends on another person wanting to commit to me.  

Here is where you’ll have all the Red Pill voices, all the dating coaches, all the playas and Old-School Macks chime in about how you CAN have a great deal of control in how others perceive you. I’ve heard it all. Focus on your money, career, and success and you’ll attract a mate. Focus on hitting the gym and making yourself physically attractive and you’ll attract a mate. Focus on your social skills, build up the confidence and ability to spit game and you’ll attract a mate.  Focus on going out and attending events where hot women go and you’ll attract a mate. We’ve heard it all ever since high school. 

And I’m not saying any of that’s wrong. There’s a great deal of truth in all of that advice. What I question is the emphasis placed on “attracting a mate”. As if that should be our number one goal in life, above things like doing what’s good in God’s eyes. And more importantly, what if none of that just isn’t you? Are these men who don’t have those goals simply out of luck? I don’t think so.  

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The Truth About Wives Submitting to Husbands -Christians Who Reject Parts of the Bible

Posted by Rock Kitaro on October 12, 2021
Posted in: Christianity, Essays, Food for Thought, religion, romance. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . 4 Comments

I’ve been side-stepping this issue for a long time because I’m not married and I understand this is a very sensitive issue. But as I pursue a potential mate through online dating…the topic’s come up and I confess, I see a great deal of irony in those who take umbrage with the concept of “Wives submitting to your Husbands…” 

Also…I’m going to hit on the enormous folly of Christians who say things like, “I believe in what Jesus said, but I don’t care about those other books of the Bible”…this is a problem. 

Audio Video of Essay

So check it, once upon a time I considered myself a Male Feminist. I was all about the messages of empowerment and breaking down traditional roles and self-love and all that. By the age of 28, however, I started to read the Bible for myself. I wanted to know “the truth.” Not what someone told me. Not what was passed down. But the actual truth. And this began a long process of learning how much our modern culture and living by Christ’s standards…sometimes they don’t mix. 

That year, in 2014, while visiting my Aunt in Colorado, I told her what I was looking for in a mate. I said, “I’m not looking for someone to lead, or someone to follow, I’m looking for someone I can walk hand-in-hand with as my equal.”  

I said this…thinking it was correct. It felt right, very in line with feminism and all the ways of the world. That’s when my aunt said:  

“Well, you know, Rock…as Christians, we’re taught that the man is supposed to be the head of the household. Husbands are to honor their wives, but wives are to submit to the husbands. The husbands are supposed to lead.”  

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Why Are Christians So Judgmental?…Allow Me to Explain 

Posted by Rock Kitaro on August 21, 2021
Posted in: About the Author, Christianity, Essays, religion, romance, truth. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Plainly put…We have to be. To be clear, I’m not talking about Christians who are constantly giving their unsolicited opinion about every little thing. I’m talking about Christians who politely refrain from worldly lifestyles or indulging in sinful behavior. I get deep with this one. So brace yourselves.

“You’re too judgmental! Jesus Christ was open and accepting of everyone! I’ve talked to other Christians and they’re cool with everyone’s lifestyle! DON’T JUDGE ME!” 

How many times have you heard this when it comes to some behavior or activity that you know goes against Bible principles? Like the Hook-Up Culture, Sex Before Marriage, Getting Drunk, High, or even celebrating and promoting Pride Month.  

Very often, Christians and non-Christians alike will use Christ’s own words against you. At Matthew Chapter 7 Jesus said: “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”

Strong words from our Lord and Savior. However, at John 7:24, Jesus also says, “24 Do not judge by appearances, but judge with righteous judgment.”…Sounds like he’s telling us to judge here? Sounds contradicting. But is it? 

I think it’s about time we elaborated on the various meanings of “judge” as well as addressing this notion of, “Well, I talked to other Christians, and they’re cool with it!” 

Forgive me if this sounds condescending, but consider this: A 1st Grader who knows 2+2=4, knows math. But so does a 10th grader who knows how to solve Quadratic Equations. Thus, both can claim they do really know math…however one’s a bit more advanced in his knowledge than the other.

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Why I Vowed to Remain a Virgin Until Marriage (Age 35) – Confession

Posted by Rock Kitaro on August 19, 2021
Posted in: About the Author, Christianity, Essays, Food for Thought, religion, romance. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 3 Comments

I just turned 35 yesterday, making me a thirty-five-year-old virgin. I don’t say that out of shame or embarrassment. But rather…this is to explain for people who look at me, hear that I’m a virgin…and they just don’t believe it.  

Recently, I made up my mind to try online dating again. If you do a quick search, I’m sure you’ll find an essay from years ago where I adamantly refused to do it again after trying it in 2014 and found that it prompted a whole host of negative effects in me. Such as effecting my respect for women, distorting my self-worth, and taking up too much of my time and thoughts.  

Pragmatically, however, I’ve concluded that with the way culture is right now, the hope or idea of me meeting someone organically…it’s not likely. I’m terrible at identifying “choosing signals,” I can’t tell the difference between shyness or fear so I stay away from both, and I don’t put myself out there. I’m not the kind of guy who takes up activities or goes to events with the main objective of finding someone. So to online dating, I’ll go.  

While making up my mind to do this, I’ve asked people, men and women for their advice. Goes without saying, I’m a very different man from the 28-year-old I used to be. I have a greater understanding of the culture, I have more Red-Pilled Knowledge from other men’s experiences…and more importantly, I’m a committed Christian who’s read the entire Bible and believes in it.  

But one thing constantly struck me when I talked to people, particularly women. When I say I’m a virgin, their jaws drop. They’re shocked and find it hard to believe. And usually, their first response isn’t “why”…it’s “how?!”…as if I avoided getting wet while walking through a torrential downpour with no umbrella. 

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Waiting Too Long to Make the “First Move” – Fear and Validation

Posted by Rock Kitaro on May 11, 2021
Posted in: Essays, Food for Thought, romance, truth. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

When I was in high school, I went the first three years without a girlfriend. It wasn’t until my Senior Year that a green-eyed blonde made it known that she was attracted to me. She was my first official girlfriend. Age 18. 

This was in a place called Augusta, Georgia in 2004…aka the Dirty South, circa Outkast’s “Hey Ya” and Usher’s “Yeah.”. My point in mentioning this, is that I’m black. My first official girlfriend was white. No, no one gave me grief about this (not to my face). But I do remember something interesting happening.  

While I was “going out” with said Green-Eyed Beauty, she and I were walking back to classes from the cafeteria, and a black girl tapped me. I looked over my shoulder to see her gesturing towards her friend, a gorgeous black girl who had to be a junior. I didn’t know her, but we had locked eyes before in passing. She was tall, in-shape, had a gentle smile…the type I would’ve undoubtedly said yes to. But I was already with someone. So I smiled and declined apologetically. Remember this incident for later… 

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