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Why I’m Not Going MY Own Way – Christian Sigma

Posted by Rock Kitaro on November 28, 2021
Posted in: Christianity, religion, romance. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . 2 Comments

I’m not afraid to die alone. When most people hear about how long I’ve been single, it’s easy to assume I’m just a man “going my own way” (MGTOW). I’m not. I’m glad I discovered Sigmas...because I’ve concluded a majority of people just don’t understand. And when they don’t understand you…clearly, there’s something wrong with you.  

 After about 3 months of starting online dating again…I learned that not much has changed since I tried the last time back in 2014. Except the sites cost more. But this isn’t to complain about the dating culture in general. At this point, it’s about as pointless as complaining about water being wet.  

What I’m about to say…I’m speaking on behalf of myself. I don’t know if other 35-year-old single men are like me. But here goes.  

Ever since I was young, my father taught me to set goals for myself and to accomplish whatever I said I’m going to do. I love that. I’m great at that and derive an incredible boost of confidence and self-worth from my ability to accomplish those goals. That being said…I don’t like to make goals in which my success depends too much on another person. In this case, my getting married and having children depends on another person wanting to commit to me.  

Here is where you’ll have all the Red Pill voices, all the dating coaches, all the playas and Old-School Macks chime in about how you CAN have a great deal of control in how others perceive you. I’ve heard it all. Focus on your money, career, and success and you’ll attract a mate. Focus on hitting the gym and making yourself physically attractive and you’ll attract a mate. Focus on your social skills, build up the confidence and ability to spit game and you’ll attract a mate.  Focus on going out and attending events where hot women go and you’ll attract a mate. We’ve heard it all ever since high school. 

And I’m not saying any of that’s wrong. There’s a great deal of truth in all of that advice. What I question is the emphasis placed on “attracting a mate”. As if that should be our number one goal in life, above things like doing what’s good in God’s eyes. And more importantly, what if none of that just isn’t you? Are these men who don’t have those goals simply out of luck? I don’t think so.  

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Why Are Christians So Judgmental?…Allow Me to Explain 

Posted by Rock Kitaro on August 21, 2021
Posted in: About the Author, Christianity, Essays, religion, romance, truth. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Plainly put…We have to be. To be clear, I’m not talking about Christians who are constantly giving their unsolicited opinion about every little thing. I’m talking about Christians who politely refrain from worldly lifestyles or indulging in sinful behavior. I get deep with this one. So brace yourselves.

“You’re too judgmental! Jesus Christ was open and accepting of everyone! I’ve talked to other Christians and they’re cool with everyone’s lifestyle! DON’T JUDGE ME!” 

How many times have you heard this when it comes to some behavior or activity that you know goes against Bible principles? Like the Hook-Up Culture, Sex Before Marriage, Getting Drunk, High, or even celebrating and promoting Pride Month.  

Very often, Christians and non-Christians alike will use Christ’s own words against you. At Matthew Chapter 7 Jesus said: “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”

Strong words from our Lord and Savior. However, at John 7:24, Jesus also says, “24 Do not judge by appearances, but judge with righteous judgment.”…Sounds like he’s telling us to judge here? Sounds contradicting. But is it? 

I think it’s about time we elaborated on the various meanings of “judge” as well as addressing this notion of, “Well, I talked to other Christians, and they’re cool with it!” 

Forgive me if this sounds condescending, but consider this: A 1st Grader who knows 2+2=4, knows math. But so does a 10th grader who knows how to solve Quadratic Equations. Thus, both can claim they do really know math…however one’s a bit more advanced in his knowledge than the other.

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Why I Vowed to Remain a Virgin Until Marriage (Age 35) – Confession

Posted by Rock Kitaro on August 19, 2021
Posted in: About the Author, Christianity, Essays, Food for Thought, religion, romance. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . 3 Comments

I just turned 35 yesterday, making me a thirty-five-year-old virgin. I don’t say that out of shame or embarrassment. But rather…this is to explain for people who look at me, hear that I’m a virgin…and they just don’t believe it.  

Recently, I made up my mind to try online dating again. If you do a quick search, I’m sure you’ll find an essay from years ago where I adamantly refused to do it again after trying it in 2014 and found that it prompted a whole host of negative effects in me. Such as effecting my respect for women, distorting my self-worth, and taking up too much of my time and thoughts.  

Pragmatically, however, I’ve concluded that with the way culture is right now, the hope or idea of me meeting someone organically…it’s not likely. I’m terrible at identifying “choosing signals,” I can’t tell the difference between shyness or fear so I stay away from both, and I don’t put myself out there. I’m not the kind of guy who takes up activities or goes to events with the main objective of finding someone. So to online dating, I’ll go.  

While making up my mind to do this, I’ve asked people, men and women for their advice. Goes without saying, I’m a very different man from the 28-year-old I used to be. I have a greater understanding of the culture, I have more Red-Pilled Knowledge from other men’s experiences…and more importantly, I’m a committed Christian who’s read the entire Bible and believes in it.  

But one thing constantly struck me when I talked to people, particularly women. When I say I’m a virgin, their jaws drop. They’re shocked and find it hard to believe. And usually, their first response isn’t “why”…it’s “how?!”…as if I avoided getting wet while walking through a torrential downpour with no umbrella. 

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Derrick Jaxn and Ravi Zacharias – I’m Not Mad At Them

Posted by Rock Kitaro on March 26, 2021
Posted in: News and Updates. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Don’t worry, this isn’t a long essay. I’ll be brief.

A lot of people are sharing their thoughts on Derrick Jaxn…I have some too. I first found out about this guy from one of my relatives a couple of years ago. I can’t remember which cousin or aunt posted his videos, but when I first heard him speak…I was impressed.

As a guy who believes in treating women right, regardless of race, I liked Derrick Jaxn’s message. He was basically telling men how they should be treating women with respect, honoring their wives, to stop cheating. All good things. But one thing I started to notice rather quickly…was that’s all he did. Bash men. It seemed like women could do no wrong, it’s never a woman’s fault. It’s always the men who are doing wrong to women. Men are bad. Men are dogs. And understandably…this created a huge swath of men, on Youtube and the Real World, who began to hate Derrick Jaxn. It was like he was throwing men under the bus and making himself holier than thou.

This was years ago. Since then, his following has grown. Mostly female followers. Almost every comment from his female fans was praise towards Jaxn and hate and spite towards men. There was almost no accountability towards the women, and when he did post a video encouraging women to get better, it was usually followed up with more men bashing. As in, women could do well…if only men weren’t so bad. Particularly, black men.

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The Truth About King Solomon – Part II: Wealth, Wisdom, and Women

Posted by Rock Kitaro on March 7, 2021
Posted in: Christianity, Essays, History Lesson, religion, truth. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

When it comes to the Old Testament…sometimes I really do take the stories of God’s servants to heart. As if I’m reading the memoirs of my own blood brothers who died long ago, who passed down what happened, what they did wrong, and how we can avoid making the same mistakes. I have to honor that.

As I mentioned in previous essays, the first time I read about Solomon praying for wisdom…it really had a life-changing effect on me. I felt so much shame because, until then, all I did was constantly pray for success as an author or success in finding a beautiful woman who I could call my wife. It was all for me, whereas Solomon prayed for the ability to help others.  

To give you a recap in case you haven’t read Part 1, Solomon is the new king of the powerful nation of Israel. The third king, in fact, following the succession of King Saul, then his father King David, an extraordinary man who was said to have a heart after God himself.  

Solomon had a very turbulent upbringing. His mother was seduced while still married to another man. His eldest half-brother raped his half-sister. Another half-brother, the popular Absalom, tried to take the throne from his father King David. And while David swore to make Solomon the next king, another half-brother tried to usurp the throne through nefarious schemes.  

Almost in Godfather-like fashion, Solomon finally had enough of all the games and treachery and cleaned his house. He had his older brother killed, the commander of his father’s army killed, another man who cursed his father was killed, and he exiled a priest to end the line of Eli. 

Now…we pick it up in 1st Kings Chapter 3. Here, we read that Solomon loved the Lord, walking in the statutes of David his father. It’s here that we learn about God appearing to Solomon in a dream and saying “Ask what I shall give you.” 

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Top 10 Ways the Bible Changed My Life: #5. It Taught Me Which Religious Practices Were Made Up By Man

Posted by Rock Kitaro on November 21, 2020
Posted in: Christianity, religion. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

This year, I watched deeply disturbing documentaries about Jeffery Epstein and R. Kelly. The thing I found that was very similar between their victims, the survivors…was how vulnerable they were. But what does that mean? To be vulnerable? 

When I heard the victims speak…it hurt my heart. Not just because of what happened to them, but how it happened. Ladies and Gents, I’m a staunch believer of accountability, that we’re all responsible for what happens to us in our lives and how we handle it. But these victims were all underage; seventeen and as young as twelve. I believe the predators were able to prey on them because of things these victims did not know. 

By some accounts, the victims (now grown adults) kept saying how they knew what they were doing was wrong…but they were too afraid to stop or leave out of fear. They were afraid of death, of getting hurt, of having their careers or futures ruined. And yet…they kept coming back. They stayed. Some even returned with “friends” who ended up being subjected to the same thing. This is puzzling.  

Honestly. I’m not trying to blame the victim, but to understand them. And the answer that keeps coming back was that they simply did not know what to do. Bear with me.

Think back to slavery…not just slavery in America, but Rome or even the serfs working the fields during the Middle Ages. Of those serfs and slaves, how many do you think KNEW they didn’t have to be a slave or a serf? At any point they could have fought for their freedom or fled.  

Yes, you could say that they would have been captured and killed, but that doesn’t eliminate the fact that they still had a choice.

Do this or die, is still a choice. A horrible choice. But a choice, nonetheless. 

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Top 10 Ways the Bible Changed My Life: #2. The World Starts to Make Sense

Posted by Rock Kitaro on November 1, 2020
Posted in: Christianity, religion. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . 4 Comments

“Why does this keep happening?”  

“What kind of God allows murderers and pedophiles to exist?” 

“If God was real, he would never allow so much pain and suffering to go on!”  

After the Parkland Shooting where seventeen students were killed by a gunman in my own state of Florida, I passed by an employee from a different department, an older white woman.  

So emotional, she said, “Why does this keep happening!”  

And I confess…I smirked. Sounds horrible doesn’t it?

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Remembering Patricia Griffin: The Response

Posted by Rock Kitaro on March 15, 2020
Posted in: About the Author, romance. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . 1 Comment

Last August, I wrote a tribute about a girl I had a crush on in the 8th Grade who died. Six months later, her family discovered the tribute. Their response was…incredible.

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Patricia Griffin – Sophomore Year

Last year, on August 18th 2019…I woke up on my birthday and was compelled to write about a girl I had a crush on in the 8th grade. Patricia Kay Griffin. It was inexplicable. She was never my “official” girlfriend. I hadn’t seen her since before 2005, and I don’t think I watched or listened to anything that would trigger my memories of her…but over the years, all too often, this girl comes to mind.

Patricia died in 2008. I didn’t find out till years later when my thoughts and curiosity prompted me to do a search. Sadly, I found her obituary. She was only 21 when she passed and I think that’s what I hate the most, aside from her being one of the good ones, a kind-hearted loving person. She was so young. It’s impossible to see her and not feel inspired, energized, encouraged to get up off my ass and do something with my life. I loved her. It’s just one of those things.

So, on my birthday. I wrote this essay – “Remembering Patricia Griffin.”

I poured out most of my memories of her. How we first met. The embarrassing blunders. The truth about what she meant to me. The truth about what I “thought” had happened to her. That was six months ago.

Then, a few weeks ago. On a busy Tuesday night in the middle of February, I was multi-tasking on a number of projects when I just happened to check my G-mail and saw two new messages with the name “Patricia” in the heading.

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You Attract the Energy You Put Out: The Obvious Truth

Posted by Rock Kitaro on January 22, 2020
Posted in: religion, romance. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . 4 Comments

I’m not attracted to unnecessary drama and conflict. If you project the image of someone who has an attitude or constantly confrontational, you’re going to attract people of that nature. It’s as simple as that. And believe it or not, there are people who would prefer the thrilling emotional roller coaster ride of an unstable relationship, as opposed to a stable (predictable) peaceful one. Even if they don’t realize it.

You attract the energy you put out. I know this sounds nice and catchy, but I don’t think people really understand what it means.  This here essay is inspired by some of the most beautiful women I see on Instagram and Youtube videos like the one below…They aren’t celebrities. Just people blessed with beauty. And yet the attitude they project make them so unappealing in the eyes of men like me.

“It’s just a performance, Rock. These girls aren’t like this in real life.”

You’re talking to an artist. With every decision we make in creating our art, there’s always a reason why. There’s always a motive. If you think I’m overthinking it, I can just as easily say you haven’t thought about it enough.

The energy they’re putting out is sex. Like all they want to do is get sex. And if you put out that energy, guess what kind of men you’re going to get. Men who only want sex. And then they wonder why the men they’re attracting have a tendency to sleep around on them.

Growing up, some of the most unpleasant experiences I had with the opposite sex came in the heat of an argument where there was usually a lot of yelling, accusations, and name calling. There was a lot of attitude, malice, and resentment. Feelings were hurt. I’d usually walk away and want nothing more to do with the person. Of course, tempers would simmer and we’d usually talk it out and come to some kind of resolution…but as a sane rational man, I didn’t enjoy those heated confrontations. They weren’t pleasant.

So why do some women think displaying such attitudes will attract a good man? Who told them that this is what men want?

Put it this way, if you posted photos of identical twin sisters…which do you think a good man would go for, the photo of the twin who’s projecting a fierce “sexy” attitude…or the identical twin who’s smiling like she’s happy to see you? Which would you choose? I’m sorry, let me reiterate. Which would you be more likely to spend the rest of your life with?

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And if you’re the type of guy who’d be like, “I’d still hit the one with the lion. She looks like fun.” Be real. Ask yourself, “which are you more likely to approach?” Especially in today’s MeToo society.

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The Best Medicine for Violent Thoughts…

Posted by Rock Kitaro on November 8, 2019
Posted in: About the Author. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

I can’t remember the last time I literally wanted to track down the guy who disrespected me and punch him in the face. Ego, pride, and rage took over. All of them, grinning with clenched fists. All of them saying at once, “who do you think you’re talking to? Don’t you know what I can do to you?”

Lion 7

Yesterday, it was like that. I’ve been so careful to avoid putting myself in such situations. I smiled and presented the civility of a gentleman, but on the inside violent thoughts ran through my mind all day. Even on the treadmill, I thought of the toughest martial artists I follow on Instagram and kicking the crap out of all of them.

I knew it was wrong. I knew I shouldn’t be like that. I knew I should be more forgiving and simply put trust in God. But it really does feel good to indulge on thoughts of revenge. Ever since I was a kid, getting back at people who crossed me, brought me the sweetest pleasure. The greatest satisfaction in the world. I thought I had grown out of all that. But yesterday I was tested…and sure enough the lion is still there. It’s chained up, but it’s still there.

Then…as per usual, it’s like God sees me, like a Heavenly father watching a petulent child kicking cans because things didn’t go his way…and he sent me someone remarkable.

Last night, whilst grocery shopping at a family-friendly Walmart, an older gentleman with a soft voice greeted me with a brochure about Jehovah’s Witnesses. Right away, I smiled. Right away, I recognized what was happening. God was reaching out to me.

I really was pressed for time (it was getting late) so I had a hurried convo with him about religion as I finished shopping. And when I started loading up my car, he walked over and introduced me to his wife.

I couldn’t believe it. It was like a punch in the guts, me complaining and wallowing in my problems. His wife, his beautiful wife has been deaf her entire life. She lost her ability to see 14 years ago and He was only able to communicate to her by using his fingers to draw into her palm and bring her hand to his head and lips. It was such an endearing sight. I’ll never forget it.

Ironically…it made me even more angrier…at myself. The shame. What was I complaining about? This world is temporary. The problems of this world, ephemeral. Yeah, it’d be nice not to have problems and disputes come up in the first place, but still…compared to my brothers and sisters here and around the globe…God has been good to me.

I told the man that I’ll certainly hope and pray for the day she sees him again in the Kingdom of Heaven. Such faith…such commitment to another in marriage, this is valor. My greatest respect will always go to those who marry once and for the rest of their lives. Because this is my dream as well.

Perhaps, in the end this was just what I needed. Perhaps I needed such a reminder and that lion inside needed to be pricked. It could have been worse…the guy who disrespected me could have done it in person instead of over the phone. Even today, I feel like a different person. More determined not to let the little things get to me. As If I’m kneeling right there next to the lion, petting his mane and whispering, “…patience….calm…forgive them…”

Hahaha! Maybe none of this makes sense. I dunno.