Don’t worry, this isn’t a long essay. I’ll be brief.

A lot of people are sharing their thoughts on Derrick Jaxn…I have some too. I first found out about this guy from one of my relatives a couple of years ago. I can’t remember which cousin or aunt posted his videos, but when I first heard him speak…I was impressed.

As a guy who believes in treating women right, regardless of race, I liked Derrick Jaxn’s message. He was basically telling men how they should be treating women with respect, honoring their wives, to stop cheating. All good things. But one thing I started to notice rather quickly…was that’s all he did. Bash men. It seemed like women could do no wrong, it’s never a woman’s fault. It’s always the men who are doing wrong to women. Men are bad. Men are dogs. And understandably…this created a huge swath of men, on Youtube and the Real World, who began to hate Derrick Jaxn. It was like he was throwing men under the bus and making himself holier than thou.

This was years ago. Since then, his following has grown. Mostly female followers. Almost every comment from his female fans was praise towards Jaxn and hate and spite towards men. There was almost no accountability towards the women, and when he did post a video encouraging women to get better, it was usually followed up with more men bashing. As in, women could do well…if only men weren’t so bad. Particularly, black men.

So jump ahead to now. Derrick Jaxn was exposed for having cheated on his wife. Basically, everything he bashed men for doing, that’s what he did and it looks like the internet is seeking to destroy this dude. Charlamagne’s video below eloquently sums up the collective thoughts of most Black Men who are seeing this…but I want to add, that I don’t think it’s good to have some attitude of vengeance towards Jaxn. As in to say, “AH-HA! GOTCHA!”

It’s just like recently when I learned that Ravi Zacharias, a well-known Christian Apologetic who I learned so much from…even Zacharias was exposed after his death, for having cheated on his wife and indulging in infidelity. My heart goes out to the families. My heart goes out to Derrick Jaxn’s wife, and my heart goes out to the wife and grown children of Ravi Zacharias.

Ravi Zacharias never betrayed me. He owes me nothing. Not even an apology. Derrick Jaxn never betrayed me. I never felt “attacked” by Jaxn’s message because I was never the kind of man he described in his videos, nor do I exclusively date Black Women. If anything, I really just hope people learn from this to stop putting individuals up on some pedestal.

As adults, if you’re so terribly crushed and disappointed in the actions of another human being, so much that it ruins your day and causes you to rethink life or what you believe…I think it says more about you.

If you were misled and taken advantage of, yeah you can blame the person who misled you…but I do hope you’re taking a look in the mirror too. Whenever I hear, “they took advantage of me and led me to believe…” What I hear between the lines is “I was foolish, weak, and incompetent. I made the wrong choice. I followed the wrong person.”

That isn’t to belittle you, but to encourage you to get better. To take responsibility of you. Think for yourself. Listen, sure. But at the end of the day, you’re in charge of you, what you think, what you say, what you do, who you believe.

Thus…I’m not mad at Jaxn. It’s unfortunate that he cheated to begin with, but I never longed for the day to see Jaxn fall just because it appeared he pandered to women and sold them a bunch of things they wanted to hear. But maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I should be mad about something here… What do you think?