Ladies! This is a huge one. This is a big reason why a lot of people will not get married or have the traditional families our parents and grandparents had. Because of the issues I’m about to discuss, a lot of Millennials are stuck in that perennial high school dance where the boys are on one side and the girls are on the other, but nobody is making a move to approach. Once upon a time, the onus was on men to go and approach the ladies. But because of these issues, the men simply are refusing to do this.
Here, I expound on the third of eight main points I’ve personally observed to help explain how one thing after another has sabotaged (ruined) my generation. And at the end of each section, I’ll try my best to provide a solution because, I know…these sound like excuses. But I haven’t given up. I still have faith.
Back in 2014, almost every media outlet and social forum was talking about that Cat-Calling video. It was the beginning of a campaign that eventually demonize what many believe to be “toxic” male behavior. It was the beginning of acceptance towards open misandry, which many felt was justified due to what they perceived as years of open and accepted misogyny. (because apparently two wrongs do make it right)
In the video, a woman walks through parts of New York and is filmed while a multitude of men are greeting her, complimenting her, wolf-whistling and trying to hit on her. Some were rude and disrespectful, absolutely. But not all of them. The problem is, all of it was deemed cat-calling and sparked a nationwide debate about the terrible harassment women have to face from men who behave like this.
As soon as I saw that video and the reaction it produced, I knew…My first thought was, “Well, damn. Now, how are we gonna talk to women?”
Here, I expound on the second of eight main points I’ve personally observed to help explain how one thing after another has sabotaged (ruined) my generation. And at the end of each section, I’ll try my best to provide a solution because, I know…these sound like excuses. But I haven’t given up. I still have faith.
1. The Hook-Up Culture (Non-Monogamous Dating) 2. Tinder (Dating Apps) 3. Cat-Calling and False Accusations 4. Gynocentrism 5. Brett Kavanaugh and Weaponizing Women 6. The Rise of the Manosphere 7. The Sisterhood 8. Leaving Christianity at the Door
I’ll never forget back in 2012, when a girl vying for my interest told me about Tinder. With a smile on her face, she said:
“Rock, have you heard of this app called Tinder?”
“No, what is it?”
“It’s a dating app that basically shows you the location of people in your area who want to have sex with you. You just pull it up, and if you check them off and they check you off, you can meet and have sex.”
For those who don’t know, “Body Count” in modern terms refers to how many sexual partners you’ve had in the past. Recently, I’ve seen a lot of videos pop up from men and women debating how important or unimportant this issue is, but I haven’t seen anyone provide the perspective I’m about to give…so here goes.
From the women, what I’ve heard is that a woman’s Body Count A) is a very private issue and nobody’s business. B) If a man asks, then it must mean he’s insecure and C) It shouldn’t be an issue because if men can sleep around, then women can too. Check out this video below to hear it from their own mouths. (this is one of many videos I’ve seen)
From the Man’s Perspective…years ago, I learned about the notion of “Pair Bonding.” Pair Bonding relates to the emotional attachment a person has to someone else, the ability to stay connected to this other person for a monogamous relationship. Keep in mind, these are just theories.
Here’s some questions for you. Does God forgive Satan? Does Jesus Christ love Satan, just as he commanded us to love our enemies? These questions came to mind after a live debate I had with a woman at my gym.
The above were my immediate thoughts following a debate I had with an elderly woman (late 60s) at my gym. It wasn’t planned, but we struck it up and sat in the lobby to hash it out. I didn’t know much about her past prior to this conversation other than she claimed to be Christian. But she’s cool, a gym regular and past a certain age, so I’ve been able to have random chats with her without worrying about “making her feel uncomfortable”.
It began with her inquiring about my being a bachelor (a common topic of fascination). I gave her some details and she said, “Rock. Instead of looking for a wife, maybe you should look for a friend first? Just someone to get along with.”
I smiled and explained, “Yes ma’am. That’s the plan. When I say I’m looking for a wife, that’s just the end goal. It’s really my way of saying that I’m not part of today’s hook-up culture. A lot of my peers do want to get married, but first, they want to get laid. Whereas with me, marriage comes before sex.”
With this one, I want to make it clear that I’m not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings or bash anyone…but it’s something I’ve been in denial about for a long time.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been picked on, shamed, and made to feel bad for being attracted to white girls. And, shamed to say, I’ve struggled when it comes to finding the average black woman attractive. I’m not saying anyone’s ugly. I’m just saying that very often the attraction is not there. I wish it was, but it’s not. Brace yourself. I don’t hold anything back with this one.
Is it true that Black Men have “abandoned the church”? Clearly, there are still black men going to church. It’s not like you’ll walk into one and NOT see a black guy.
But from watching the pastors on Jason Whitlock’s show and hearing Kevin Samuels over the past few years, there does seem to be this perception that “black men have given up on the churches”. I thought this was strange. And personally, I’d have no way of knowing whether any of this is true…because *chuckles nervously* as a black guy, I don’t go to church.
First off, I want to make it clear that I don’t think churches, religious assemblies, and congregations are bad. I truly believe church and congregations are great and amazing events. The Old Testament taught that God loves assemblies. So, being that I’m a Christian…why don’t I go to one?
The issues I’m going to bring up may be reasons why other men have stopped going and we’re just too embarrassed to admit it. I haven’t seen anyone else address or mention the MAIN reason why I personally don’t go…So here goes…
THE CHURCH HAS CAVED TO MODERN WOKE IDEOLOGY –
Let’s begin by addressing the common reasons I heard about why Black Men have stopped going to the church. Mainly, the sentiment is that the message, the pastors and ministers, have stopped preaching the Truth. Instead, the “Truth” is being watered down to walk lock-step with today’s woke ideologies. And in turn, they’re catering to women, telling women what they want to hear, instead of what the Bible actually says.
Long story short, they don’t. It’s a trick. Ever since I was a kid, I simply nodded along to the cliché that good girls fall for the bad boys. Even after learning about the Red Pill and observing the dating culture, on the surface there does seem to be some truth to it. It wasn’t until recently that I started to question, “If you fall for a bad boy, are you really good?”
There’s important reasons as to why I’m writing this. 1) It’s insulting to the women who really are good. 2) It encourages men to be “bad boys”. 3) “Boring” is being used as a label, more than an adjective, which I think is a deceptive trick to pressure men into prioritizing what women want over being responsible and 4) I think it’s just one more thing people use to justify their bad behavior and foolish choices. As in…“Hey! It’s out of my hands. I’m good so I got no control over myself but to fall for the bad boy!”
You see it in movies and TV shows. There’s the good, honest, wholesome girl who ends up being enticed, manipulated, and turned away from her virtuous values by the Bad Boy. Sometimes, it’s depicted as a good thing. Often, the girl is being oppressed by her religiously strict parents or their rigid traditions that were always holding her back from what she really wanted.
“Nah-uh, Rock! Don’t even start! Alladin was not a bad boy! He was a good guy with a heart of gold! He only stole to survive. He only lied about being a prince because he really wanted to get with Jasmine! That doesn’t make him a ‘bad boy’.”
So…came across one of Melanie King’s videos where, once again, a lady’s confirming what a lot of guys have been saying about the dating culture these days. But don’t worry. I’m also going to hit at Male Leadership and why we as Christians need to stand firm.
In the beginning of the video, the soon-to-be divorced woman says, “you can’t dress a certain way and you can’t post sexy pictures on social media. But I dressed a certain way when I first met you!”…she says this to complain that her husband was “controlling”.
Couple of thoughts here. First, you could say that this is just who she is, sexual and sensual, and a man has no right to change her. “WOMEN AREN’T DRESSED TO IMPRESS YOU! WE DRESS LIKE THIS BECAUSE IT MAKES US HAPPY!”
Right, if you’re in that camp, this essay ain’t for you. I’m talking to the real ones out here who respect straight-forward honesty. I’m talking to the ladies who know they dress a certain way and posts pictures WITH THE INTENT of getting attention, attracting a mate. This doesn’t have to mean slutty or half-naked pictures…but come on. I’ve seen many of sistahs fully clothed in dresses that tell me everything I need to know and I’m like…
Recently, news broke about a 63-year-old Pastor out of Iowa who married an 18-year-old woman after her birthday. People are outraged. They’re saying this is wrong. And yet…something seems odd here. For some reason, I find the reactions more interesting than the Pastor and his young Bride.