I know words like “controversial” and misogynistic are thrown around when it comes to Kevin Samuels. He blew up thanks to WorldStarHipHop because he told a 35-year-old black single mother that she was going to die alone. Of course, if you don’t know the context of this conversation, sounds like a horrible thing to say. Even with the proper context, it still sounds horrible.
But sometimes, the truth is horrible. Yes, Kevin did give a lot of opinions…but he also provided facts. Such as facts about fatherless households, or that being a single mother isn’t as pleasant and glorified as the media makes it out to be…or that a lot of people have been lied to by Feminism. Because he holds men and women accountable and calls the Black Community out on their BS, if you go to Twitter right now, you’ll find a slew of tweets celebrating and mocking the death of Kevin Samuels. He was 56.
When I heard about Kevin’s death today, my heart sank. As a Christian, there were some things Samuels said that was disappointing. For instance, he seemed to advocate the hook-up culture. He promoted the “high value male” lifestyle when, really, our priorities should be putting God first and doing what’s good in his eyes.
That being said, Kevin Samuels was doing a world of good when it comes to exposing the truth, hypocrisies and double standards within the Black Community. For years, for decades even…it seems like Black Women have gone unchecked in a sense. I know that sentence alone makes me sound like a misogynists, which is why Kevin Samuels was so valuable. Samuels and men like him were able to openly have conversations and say things that a lot of us men are actually thinking, what we want to say about black women and black culture, but we’d risk our jobs, careers, and reputations. (this essay was written on the fly. Not really edited to filter out inappropriate thoughts that might be deemed insensitive. So enter at your own discretion)
So in a sense, it is partially our fault as men…but also, because this is America…we don’t need to keep it as our problem. Meaning, if we don’t want to deal with Black Women, we don’t have to. And this is why Kevin was important, this is why despite how horrible his opinions and advice sounded, he was actually doing a world of good by helping black families. For all the ladies out there saying, “where are all the good men at!” He was telling you who we are and what we WANT!
This video he had with women about their mothers really delved into how much a lot of women were misled and basically trained from failures by their own mothers and the culture. One by one, women were admitting that their mothers failed them. This isn’t to Bash Women! For years we’ve had shows like The Real and every other daytime talk show talk about men, telling us what Women want and how we Men need to do better. Fine. Great! But what about what Men Want?
Recently, there was this clip where a woman kept stressing how “Men don’t want to be with me because they’re intimidated by me!”
Let’s say that’s true. That Men are intimidated by you. Now what? What are you going to do about it if you still want to find a man and get married? Are you going to change who you are so a man might be willing to deal with you? Or are you going to sit there in your intimidation and simply demand everyone else to change for you?
The Conversations Kevin had with ladies helped them to realize the folly of so many stupid ideologies the mainstream media’s currently promoting. And with Kevin’s passing, I don’t think there’s anyone else who could have these kind of conversations, these kinds of discussions on the scale that he did it. What I mean by that, is there are a lot of Red Pill Content creators who are putting out good messages to combat the mainstream…but Kevin is one of the few who had the patience to deal with, the tolerance to listen, and the intelligence to spit back the illogical statements and stay focused on the topic…especially when most of his detractors exemplified S.I.G.N. language.
S.I.G.N. language is a phrase Kevin coined to describe what it’s like arguing with a combative woman. S stands for their propensity to shame you, I stands for their propensity to insult you, G stands for their propensity to guilt you…and N, is the worse…the Need to be right. Almost every man on earth has experienced this in dealing with a woman. Not saying Men don’t do it too…but it’s different, because men and women are different and we each have our own roles, regardless of society’s attempts to break down those roles and make women more like men, and men more like women.
To be perfectly frank, I am a black man who has never really felt like I had a place in the Black Community. I’m not into hip hop, don’t like “urban surroundings,” don’t speak the language (or have a deep voice, given my size), I have a horrible fashion sense, and I came from a place where I pretended be a stereotypical black youth just to fit in with the cliques in middle school and high school, but it wasn’t really me.
That being said…kinda makes sense that my first true girlfriend was a green-eyed blonde white girl. Growing up, I was always given crap for “liking white girls”. Of course, it doesn’t mean that I only like white girls. I think all races of women are beautiful. But it wasn’t until I grew up that I realized, one of the biggest reasons why I fell for a certain type of woman was because I went where i was simply accepted and appreciated for being who I am.
I’m not a fan of the strong and independent types. I don’t like women who are too assertive to the point that they don’t know when to back down. Not a fan of the domineering, fierce, laced with this “slay queen” attitude types. Not saying any of that’s bad…but I’m just not attracted to that. Another thing I’m not attracted to, is fat women. I know the Body Positivity movement has everyone saying “all bodies are beautiful”…but sorry, that’s just not for me. And last but not least, I’ve dated a single mother before. She was an awesome woman and I wish nothing but the best for her…but ever since I was a teen, it’s been my dream to have my own family. After working and coming as far as I have, sacrificing and knowing the Word of Christ…I’m sorry, but she’d have to be the most beautiful woman in the world with a personality chemistry that has us clicking on all levels for me to even consider a single mother again.
The fact that a lot of women struggle to understand why a man wouldn’t want a single mother, or a fat woman…it shows why men like Kevin Samuels was needed.
Listening to Kevin Samuels have these conversations gave me hope. That maybe I came across a woman who simply was raised in a two-parent household so she already knows how to treat her man…she’s read the Bible and believes in it so she knows her role in a marriage, or she’s heard bits and pieces of Kevin Samuels so she knows what men are wanting in a wife.
Fit, Feminine, and Submissive are qualities Kevin Samuels tried to get women to understand, that this is what a lot of us Black Men want. Not the Pookies and Ray-Rays who are dealing drugs, hustling on the streets and will hump anything that moves. But just normal, law-abiding, hardworking black men. We’re not looking for Beyonce and Cardi B. Just a fit, feminine, and submissive woman. If I found that, regardless of her skin color… and now…with Kevin gone, I think the conversations will cease. I don’t know who will take up the mantle and carry on his legacy.
And thus…women will be continued to be lied to and encouraged to be everything a great deal of men find unattractive. And when their looks have faded, they have multiple children outside of wedlock, and find themselves unmarried, overweight and in their 40s, 50s, and 60s…at the very least, I hope the find salvation in God. Because just as women have the free will and choice to do whatever they want, live however they want, and be with whoever they want…Us Men have that same freedom. And we won’t be bullied, shamed, and guilted into marrying just anyone just because the mainstream tells us we should.
My condolences to Kevin Samuels’ friends and family. He will be sorely missed. And from the outpour of men reaching out to express how sad they are to see him gone…it really does go to show how so many truly underestimated his value.
“Wow, Rock. Sounds like you liked Kevin Samuels because he was encouraging women to be the kind of women you like!”
“Well, they’re free to be who they want so if you don’t like them, then stay over there with your Beckys!”
“I’m sayin’ though! All Kevin did was put down black women!”
I understand why a lot of people would have that critique. And it’s a shame, really. To be clear, I’m not saying that if a woman (black or white) is too hip hop/urban in their culture, it won’t work with guys like me. But really…the femininity and submissiveness is key. I can be buddies and friends with everyone…but i won’t marry a woman who’s too masculine and doesn’t know how to be submissive.
Thought I’d share links to hundreds of comments and tributes coming in for Kevin Samuels. Goes to show how much he really helped a lot of people, men and women.
https://www.youtube.com/post/Ugkxm1nKVPk-cI-0M9yYri5lS5NgJaehVRJM – Anthony Brian Logan
https://www.youtube.com/post/UgkxtOkh9t_fnG6klTEiT0xzcjU0zi8rrFy0 – Think Before You Sleep