I apologize if the title sounds insulting. But I promise you…what I’m about to reveal is a bunch of embarrassing insights that speaks more to our weaknesses as Men.
Couple of things to keep in mind. I don’t speak for ALL men. However, if you are proud of being strong and independent and you’re wondering why a certain kind of man isn’t going for you, perhaps this might explain why. And lastly…there are a lot of women who claim to be “strong and independent” the same way a lot of people claim to be “Christians”. If you’re not, you’re not. We’re going to be honest today.
Allow me to begin by suggesting there are different types of strengths and weaknesses. An example mentioned in other essays (and by a late Christian Apologetic): Men generally have greater physical strength, but a woman may have greater emotional strength. When you have a sick dying child, the father may need to get up and leave the room because his emotions are too much, while the mother will have the strength stay by the child’s side.
What prompted this essay, though the topic’s been on my mind for a while, was when a speaker suggested that a “Woman’s strength is in the façade of her weakness.” He used it to explain why a lot of men might not be as interested in marriage and long-term relationships as the men of prior generations. I thought it was weird and dismissed it at first…but lately, I’m beginning to understand.
More and more ladies are openly asking, “What’s the point of a man?” There’s a famous clip of Cher where she’s asked, “Do You Think Men Are Important?” She answers, “for what?”.
I know words like “controversial” and misogynistic are thrown around when it comes to Kevin Samuels. He blew up thanks to WorldStarHipHop because he told a 35-year-old black single mother that she was going to die alone. Of course, if you don’t know the context of this conversation, sounds like a horrible thing to say. Even with the proper context, it still sounds horrible.
But sometimes, the truth is horrible. Yes, Kevin did give a lot of opinions…but he also provided facts. Such as facts about fatherless households, or that being a single mother isn’t as pleasant and glorified as the media makes it out to be…or that a lot of people have been lied to by Feminism. Because he holds men and women accountable and calls the Black Community out on their BS, if you go to Twitter right now, you’ll find a slew of tweets celebrating and mocking the death of Kevin Samuels. He was 56.
When I heard about Kevin’s death today, my heart sank. As a Christian, there were some things Samuels said that was disappointing. For instance, he seemed to advocate the hook-up culture. He promoted the “high value male” lifestyle when, really, our priorities should be putting God first and doing what’s good in his eyes.
That being said, Kevin Samuels was doing a world of good when it comes to exposing the truth, hypocrisies and double standards within the Black Community. For years, for decades even…it seems like Black Women have gone unchecked in a sense. I know that sentence alone makes me sound like a misogynists, which is why Kevin Samuels was so valuable. Samuels and men like him were able to openly have conversations and say things that a lot of us men are actually thinking, what we want to say about black women and black culture, but we’d risk our jobs, careers, and reputations. (this essay was written on the fly. Not really edited to filter out inappropriate thoughts that might be deemed insensitive. So enter at your own discretion)
In this essay, I’m going to talk about why it may not be a good idea for a Man to be so open and honest about his feelings…especially when it comes to Men’s Issues.
When it Comes to the Stereotype About How Men Aren’t Supposed to Cry, how we’re not suppose to expose our feelings and keep everything bottled up…the mindset was, as men, we have to suck it up and power through. You have to work for everything you get. There are no handouts. No one cares about your tears and your feelings. Now get back out there!
I know it sounds nice and empowering for people to encourage men to fight against that stigma…to embrace their feelings, to allow themselves to be emotional and let out their pain and sorrows…
But is that really working for men in general? Meaning, I know all that sounds nice in the spirit of equality and breaking down gender tropes. But when it comes to reality…how are Men really perceived and treated when they open up about how they honestly feel? How are they treated when they show themselves to be emotional? How do people respond when Men honestly open up about their life problems?
Are people sympathetic? When men receive feedback and constructive criticism, is it with the same care and general softness given to a woman? Or do people just don’t give a shit?