Why Claiming to be Different Can Make You look like an asshole…
By Rock Kitaro
Date: April 15, 2014
Yes, I’m quite sure I’ll probably receive a lot of hate for this and lose so many twitter followers, but I wouldn’t be calling myself a writer if I was afraid to speak up on a subject that I feel is yet another trend in which people are making themselves look foolish.
First off, let me begin by giving most people the benefit of the doubt. When they say that they are “different”…I think what they really mean is that they have the courage to just be themselves. Everyone by definition is different in some way. There is no one else on this planet who is exactly like you. The whole saying that someone else out there is going through what you’re going through, is an insulting exaggeration that should never be told.
But what if I told you that you’re proclamation of being different…is actually a subconscious, vain declaration of saying that you think you’re better than others. Like those who are fortunate enough to be amongst a group of people with similar interests? Or that you’re better than those of similar goals, and it’s the reason why you’ll succeed over them. That’s just food for thought. I’m not saying this is the absolute way it is. Calm down.
“Rock! So what if people want to think that they are different? Why not let them?”
Well… How would I know? How would anyone knows what another truly thinks unless they broadcast it? So if you were to rephrase the question and ask me, “Rock, if people want to say that they’re different, why not let them?”
I’d answer with. “Because I think those people have no f**king clue as to what they’re talking about.”
The idea of “being different” sounds so cool, doesn’t it? You hear about it from your favorite radio songs, in books, in movies, and even the evening news. The good guy or girl…even the popular villain who always leaves a lasting impression is the one who is different. Makes you think, “Wow! I want to be different!”
I don’t think you really do. Or rather…if you do, I’m not sure you’re willing to accept and stand up against all that comes along with it. Let me put it this way…if the amount of Americans of my generation were all willing to put in the work and integrity that goes along with standing up for their own personal constitutions, we’d be better off as a nation.
But how many of you are really willing to be the nail that sticks out?
“Well, Rock, what do you mean better for the nation?”
Fuck the “better for the nation” line, how about just better for the future? And I know… I know that there are so many free-thinkers out there who are intelligent with great ideas. But so many of my generation are afraid of either being labeled or ostracized that they just keep it all to themselves and go with the flow, waiting till they get online to anonymously voice their opinions as if the sole act of “commenting” will change anything.
Even on my boss’s radio show. I can’t tell you how many times people call into the show to vent about the government or health care laws. And they speak with such verve and passion. I’m like…what are you going to do about it?
On a more universal level, there was an article that just came out called the “18Ugly Truths About Modern Dating That You Have to Deal With”. It has over a thousand comments ranting about both genders. But that’s it. Just rants. I commend writers like the one who wrote the article. Making people aware of not “truths” but “trends” is basically feeding them the red-pill so to speak. It opens up their eyes and forces them to see what’s going on. So now that you know…what are you going to do about it?
And that’s where my gripe comes in about people “claiming to be different.”
The sensation of “feeling like you’re different” is a terrible feeling of misery and loneliness. There’s nothing romantic or glorious about feeling like you don’t belong. It’s not fun to wonder if something is wrong with you. To have to hide or suppress who you are out of fear of being ostracized or labeled.
I can’t tell you how much I wish I liked the taste of alcohol so I can drink freely with my peers. I wish I knew how to relax and let go of working or writing for more than three days. I wish I wasn’t so vindictive. I wish didn’t care about the future of this country. I wish I didn’t have the arrogance to think that I have the power to do something about it. I wish I could accept family members for the way they are. I wish I could congregate in large groups. I wish I could simply just “go with the flow”.
I can’t and I’ve tried. When I was a teenager, I did my very best to try and act the way others expected me to. My mom and step-dad wanted me to be a Jehovah’s Witness. My Dad favored my little brother because he behaved the way a “stereotypical” black kid was supposed to act, liking soul food and hip hop oriented. Then there was me. A chubby black kid in the south who liked white girls, Street Fighter and pop music such as the Backstreet Boys. I wasn’t into sports. Thought I was too fat for any girl to like me. And with both sides of the family pushing me to be someone I wasn’t, I didn’t have anyone to confide in.
Depending on what social group I was in, I pretended to be a certain way just to fit in. I wore so many different masks for so many years. And I hated myself. I hated everyone. Jehovah Witnesses preached how Armageddon would come one day, destroying this wicked system of things. I kept thinking to myself, “why wait”.
“Well, Rock. That sounds like every teenager.”
Sounds about right. In fact, I’ve heard a lot of sayings similar to the statement, “Well, Rock. Everyone has some darkness in their hearts.”
Well tell me. Have you ever read the news or the biography some serial killer or terrorist and think to yourself… “These thoughts sound eerily familiar…”
I’ve come a long way from that person. And part of the growing process was simply accepting myself for the way I am. I’m not going to be able to please everyone. People will criticize my thoughts and put me in a category that I disagree with, but I’m just gonna have to deal with it. Nobody owes me anything. I’m going to have to work for everything.
The scars from the past are still there, but it’s no longer hate that propels me to succeed. Believe it or not, it’s the love for the women I’ve encountered along the way. Whether we were official or came close to it, I’ll never forget the women who once held a grip on my heart. If I gave up in my pursuit of fame and fortune then my sacrifice by letting them go would be in vain.
If that sounds silly, forgive me. It’s hard to explain. But that’s just the way my mind works.
The point being, if you think you’re different. Fine. Just know that if you proclaim it, and your actions show otherwise, you’re only showing how vain you are. People will subconsciously think you’re an arrogant asshole.
Instead, use the right words, by declaring statements like… “I’m just being myself!” or “I’m going things at my own pace” or as my friend Mary just pointed out, “I’m unlike anyone I’ve ever met.” These are harmless. They adequately convey what I think you’re trying to say.
Also, keep in mind that there’s nothing wrong with being “normal”. I hope that when I have children they grow up to be normal. God knows I don’t want them to have to deal with the same internal torment I faced growing up. Or feel the need to self-righteously post their opinions online like I do. 😀
…I’m gonna get in so much trouble for this…