When it comes to the Old Testament…sometimes I really do take the stories of God’s servants to heart. As if I’m reading the memoirs of my own blood brothers who died long ago, who passed down what happened, what they did wrong, and how we can avoid making the same mistakes. I have to honor that.
As I mentioned in previous essays, the first time I read about Solomon praying for wisdom…it really had a life-changing effect on me. I felt so much shame because, until then, all I did was constantly pray for success as an author or success in finding a beautiful woman who I could call my wife. It was all for me, whereas Solomon prayed for the ability to help others.
To give you a recap in case you haven’t read Part 1, Solomon is the new king of the powerful nation of Israel. The third king, in fact, following the succession of King Saul, then his father King David, an extraordinary man who was said to have a heart after God himself.
Solomon had a very turbulent upbringing. His mother was seduced while still married to another man. His eldest half-brother raped his half-sister. Another half-brother, the popular Absalom, tried to take the throne from his father King David. And while David swore to make Solomon the next king, another half-brother tried to usurp the throne through nefarious schemes.
Almost in Godfather-like fashion, Solomon finally had enough of all the games and treachery and cleaned his house. He had his older brother killed, the commander of his father’s army killed, another man who cursed his father was killed, and he exiled a priest to end the line of Eli.
Now…we pick it up in 1st Kings Chapter 3. Here, we read that Solomon loved the Lord, walking in the statutes of David his father. It’s here that we learn about God appearing to Solomon in a dream and saying “Ask what I shall give you.”
In this essay, I’m going to talk about why it may not be a good idea for a Man to be so open and honest about his feelings…especially when it comes to Men’s Issues.
When it Comes to the Stereotype About How Men Aren’t Supposed to Cry, how we’re not suppose to expose our feelings and keep everything bottled up…the mindset was, as men, we have to suck it up and power through. You have to work for everything you get. There are no handouts. No one cares about your tears and your feelings. Now get back out there!
I know it sounds nice and empowering for people to encourage men to fight against that stigma…to embrace their feelings, to allow themselves to be emotional and let out their pain and sorrows…
But is that really working for men in general? Meaning, I know all that sounds nice in the spirit of equality and breaking down gender tropes. But when it comes to reality…how are Men really perceived and treated when they open up about how they honestly feel? How are they treated when they show themselves to be emotional? How do people respond when Men honestly open up about their life problems?
Are people sympathetic? When men receive feedback and constructive criticism, is it with the same care and general softness given to a woman? Or do people just don’t give a shit?
If you’ve never been in a fight…how do you know how well you’ll react or what you’ll do? If you’ve never practiced or taken a single self-defense class, but step into the octagon against a trained Martial Artist, do you think you’ll win that fight?
“Well the answer is simple, Rock. I wouldn’t step into the octagon!”
Too late. You were born. You exist. Whether you believer it or not, you are on the battlefield. Life is full of victories and losses.
How many times have we heard something along the lines of, “You shouldn’t have to go outside without worrying about being profiled, or experiencing racism, getting kidnapped, being stalked, fearing for your life, worrying about your child going to school, fearing a bombing, fearing a mass shooting, getting raped, or being abused.”
“But, Rock. People are just saying you “shouldn’t” have to…”
Here’s the thing…Who told you that? Who told you that you should be able to do whatever you want, go wherever you want, and nothing bad should ever happen to you? Is it in the Bible? Are there conditions to it? Let’s put a pin in that for now. But keep it in mind as we begin.
If you’ve never been in a fight, but face off against a trained Martial Artist, you’re going to get wrecked. Why? Because you’re vulnerable to all kinds of attacks. You don’t know how to defend yourself, or how the person’s gonna attack, or what to do when you’re getting hit.
This one is for those who are afraid of ending up alone…so much so that they’d stay in situations where they’re abused and taken advantage of just to avoid that loneliness. This is for those who feel like they have no place in this world.
Some of us are blessed to have a tight-knit circle of friends. Some of us have one or two buddies they can always depend on. Some of us have boyfriends, girlfriends, wives or husbands we can talk to. Those who uplift us and encourage us when we’re down, who celebrate us in our triumphs.
What about the rest of us?
I took an Enneagram Personality test last year in which I was labeled a Type 3, work-oriented, driven, and thrived on results. Another trait associated with “3” is that WE NEED validation. Sounds bad, doesn’t it? I’ve heard it said many times that anyone who’s constantly seeking validation is “sad, pathetic and weak.”
Truth is, I really do seek validation. And yet, I wouldn’t describe myself as sad, pathetic, and weak. I used to…back when I sought validation from “everyone.” Back then, I was seeking to impress not just family members, but also my peers, my colleagues, co-workers, friends, millions of potential fans as an author, and of course potential love interests.
And I confess…when I didn’t get that validation, it would depress me deeply…
This is inspired by a video I watched from a Christian Youtuber where she talks about “Bad Christian Advice For Singles” when it comes to dating, from a woman’s perspective. I listened and thought that was cool. So, this list is from a man’s perspective.
Because here’s the thing. I’ve seen comments and complaints from women who say that there’s not enough Christian men out there. Or “good men don’t want them because they’re “too Christian.” This list might give you some greater insight on all that. These are my Top 3 Things That May Cause Me to Lose Interest in a Woman Who Claims to be Christian.
1. They Don’t Take Their Looks Seriously and Believe You Shouldn’t Either
It’s what’s on the inside that counts, right?
I have compassion with this one so I’m going to try and be delicate. If you’re a good Christian woman endeavoring to do what’s good in God’s eyes, why should you be concerned with your beauty? If you’re doing what’s good in God’s eyes and men aren’t attracted to you, then clearly those men must not love God, right?
I can’t remember the last time I literally wanted to track down the guy who disrespected me and punch him in the face. Ego, pride, and rage took over. All of them, grinning with clenched fists. All of them saying at once, “who do you think you’re talking to? Don’t you know what I can do to you?”
Yesterday, it was like that. I’ve been so careful to avoid putting myself in such situations. I smiled and presented the civility of a gentleman, but on the inside violent thoughts ran through my mind all day. Even on the treadmill, I thought of the toughest martial artists I follow on Instagram and kicking the crap out of all of them.
I knew it was wrong. I knew I shouldn’t be like that. I knew I should be more forgiving and simply put trust in God. But it really does feel good to indulge on thoughts of revenge. Ever since I was a kid, getting back at people who crossed me, brought me the sweetest pleasure. The greatest satisfaction in the world. I thought I had grown out of all that. But yesterday I was tested…and sure enough the lion is still there. It’s chained up, but it’s still there.
Then…as per usual, it’s like God sees me, like a Heavenly father watching a petulent child kicking cans because things didn’t go his way…and he sent me someone remarkable.
Last night, whilst grocery shopping at a family-friendly Walmart, an older gentleman with a soft voice greeted me with a brochure about Jehovah’s Witnesses. Right away, I smiled. Right away, I recognized what was happening. God was reaching out to me.
I really was pressed for time (it was getting late) so I had a hurried convo with him about religion as I finished shopping. And when I started loading up my car, he walked over and introduced me to his wife.
I couldn’t believe it. It was like a punch in the guts, me complaining and wallowing in my problems. His wife, his beautiful wife has been deaf her entire life. She lost her ability to see 14 years ago and He was only able to communicate to her by using his fingers to draw into her palm and bring her hand to his head and lips. It was such an endearing sight. I’ll never forget it.
Ironically…it made me even more angrier…at myself. The shame. What was I complaining about? This world is temporary. The problems of this world, ephemeral. Yeah, it’d be nice not to have problems and disputes come up in the first place, but still…compared to my brothers and sisters here and around the globe…God has been good to me.
I told the man that I’ll certainly hope and pray for the day she sees him again in the Kingdom of Heaven. Such faith…such commitment to another in marriage, this is valor. My greatest respect will always go to those who marry once and for the rest of their lives. Because this is my dream as well.
Perhaps, in the end this was just what I needed. Perhaps I needed such a reminder and that lion inside needed to be pricked. It could have been worse…the guy who disrespected me could have done it in person instead of over the phone. Even today, I feel like a different person. More determined not to let the little things get to me. As If I’m kneeling right there next to the lion, petting his mane and whispering, “…patience….calm…forgive them…”
Last month, I read an article where men were blamed for the decline of the marriage rate. Aside from the plethora of reasons raised over the past five years about how horrible we men are, this one had me taken aback…The complaint of the day is that “Men are not economically attractive.”
Godly Men Don’t Care About Money – A Theocratic Essay By Rock Kitaro Date – October 14th, 2019
And I know what you’re thinking…
“There are rich, Godly men out here. I’m Christian, and I care about money. I’m God-fearing and I care about money, so what’s good?”
Don’t worry. I’m going to get into it. We live in a society. We all need money to live comfortably. However, I encourage you to consider Proverbs 30: 8-9, and then watch this video to see what I’m talking about.
It really does make me smirk because I get it. If you’re a woman, you have every right to seek men of equal or greater economic value. Everyone has a right to their sexual preference. Go for it. Why not?
Just one question though…if you’re one of those women who were taught to put so much emphasis on your education to get that high paying job, then you battled it out for years to attain said job, and now you’re out here making that high five-figure or even a six-figure salary…what are the odds of you actually finding someone of equal or greater economic value…who also happens to be single, of good moral fortitude, and interested in someone like you? I say that with affection, I assure you. I’ve had to ask myself the same questions, given my own circumstances.
“Yeah? Well, maybe men simply need to get right. Men need to step it up.”
“Why should they?”
Honestly, if a man is loving life with his 40k salary, why should he “step it up” to make himself have equal or greater value just because someone else seems to care more about having a higher salary than him? Even when I was 27, my ex would constantly be on me to apply for other jobs in my company because they paid more. And when I’d tell her, “No, I love what I’m doing. I don’t think I’d be happy with those role.” she’d seem disappointed.
“Well, Rock. Maybe she’s thinking about a family and knows that you’ll need as much money as you can to raise them!“
That’s a valid argument. Truly, it is. I don’t blame her for making those kind suggestions when it came to my career growth. In fact, my own parents will tell you that it’s been my philosophy to work as hard as I could in my 20s to create a stable financial foundation for my future family…
But a lots changed in the past five years. My priorities have shifted. I picked up the Bible and cultivated a strong relationship with God. I learned the Truth that I feel compelled to share with you. But first things first…I got to get you thinking. If you’re not used to thinking, it’s alright. Take your time. There’s nothing to be ashamed of when you’ve been told your whole life what to think and how to think it. Baby steps. You’re reading the words of a rebel, the path I walk is narrow.
Have you ever stopped to consider why you’re doing anything that you’re doing? What’s the point? What are you getting in return? Why put yourself through such an ordeal? For what? I get that sometimes you have to do what you don’t want to do in order to succeed, but is it worth your peace and happiness? You only get 60-80 years and that’s it. We’re only tenants on this earth. When we die, we take nothing with us, except the deeds by which we will all be judged.
What I think it boils down to, is that women like the ones addressed in that video, are disappointed not because men are “poorer,” but because men don’t value the same things the women value. This should make sense because men and women are different, but alas…this is the reality the mainstream media is trying so hard to deny. And if they’re wrong about this…what else are they wrong about? If they’re wrong, then who’s right? Continue Reading
A discussion of complacency…how people fear the PC culture more than they do God. I explain what it means to Fear God and what it means to love him at the same time.
The King of Kings – A Study of Malachi By Rock Kitaro August 16th 2019
A popular saying these days among young people these days is, “I’m a king! I’m a queen!”
“Beyonce is the Queen”
“I’m looking for my King!”
“If you want to be a king you gotta treat her like a queen!”
I’m seeing it more and more, particularly amongst the Black Community when it comes to men and women searching for their potential spouse. I’ll make this little essay short and sweet and get straight to the point.
We need to stop with all this self-love nonsense. We need to stop with the complacency when it comes to just “accepting” any and everything. And we need to start fearing the one true God as the King of Kings. None of us are kings. None of us are queens. If you submit yourself to Jesus Christ’s teachings, you should do as you’re commanded and pick up the cross to follow him, seeking first the Kingdom of Heaven, storing up your treasures in heaven, not on earth. Even Jesus came to serve, not be served.
The Book of Malachi is one of the most potent Bible Books in the Bible and I can’t believe how much I glossed over it the first time I read it two years ago. Just to give you a bit of background info, Malachi was a prophet after the Jewish captivity in Babylon. The Jewish people were given permission to rebuild the temple that had been destroyed, but even after the near hundred years of the temple’s completion, the people had become complacent when it came to serving and fearing the one true God.
And this seems to be an epidemic when it comes to humankind. One of our biggest flaws, is our forgetfulness and complacency. In times of peace, we become soft and laxed when it comes to our commitments and holding true to such virtues like obedience, honor and duty. And yet, when catastrophe strikes, then all the sudden it’s, “WHERE IS GOD! HOW COULD GOD ALLOW THIS!?”
We’ve done this to ourselves and it’s making me sick to my stomach that people never take responsibility. I hate that so much. Even when it comes to my peers or even potential mates. When I hear about what has happened in their lives, I only respect them when they take ownership. The moment I hear, it’s somebody else’s fault, my respect dwindles.
The problem we have as humans is that we want to claim the blessings of God without accepting the conditions of it. I’ve heard teachings that, because Jesus died for our sins, we’re all forgiven regardless of what we do so long as we “accept that Jesus is our Lord and Savior.” And most recently, from the friggin Bachelorette, we have Hannah Brown talking about, “I’ve had sex and Jesus loves me.”