Yesterday, on April 5th 2025…I got married to a woman I found on a Dating App! In my last two posts, I detailed the many failed attempts I had with women I met online. But by the grace of God…I knew Julia was wife material and it didn’t take years for me to figure it out. Let’s talk about it.
Hopefully this will encourage others to be patient, trust in God, and use your best discernment. I’m 38-years-old. Julia is 30. Good men and women are out there. We’re just rare and not many qualify for us, if I may be so bold to say so myself.
Points Discussed:
Who is Julia – My Future Wife
I found Julia’s Match.com profile on May 5th 2024, while I was still talking to Crystal. If you’ll recall from my failed Matches, Crystal was the single mother who originally ghosted me, but came back after a month to see if she could make things work with me.
Allow me to say a few words of encouragement to all my Single Brothers and Sisters who ARE Christians, who DO live by Christ’s standards, who ARE in good shape, who put yourself in places to meet people and you still haven’t found someone, you still haven’t met someone who’s marriageable. Just a random message to stay strong.
Part of living by Christ’s standards means obeying his Word the Bible. Many people, including those who claim to be Christians, have given into modern times, they’ve given into sex before marriage, engaging in the hook-up culture. Now, those people are in steady relationships, they’re married, or engaged. They have what you’ve always wanted.
My friends…you cannot compare yourself to those people. As far as I’m concerned, they’ve merely cheated by taking a short-cut. Satan’s designed these short-cuts where, if you abandon God’s scriptures, if you disregard what the Bible says about how you should live your life, you will be rewarded in this world, here and now, sooner than later. (Matt 6:16-34)
This one goes out to all the ladies who are strong and independent and they think that Men are too “intimidated” by them. Don’t worry…I believe you.
In the above video, I provide a suggestion. This is coming from a man who’s always been the biggest dude in class since elementary school. For most of my life, I’ve also been a bit “intimidating” to others. When I was 15, I looked like I was 21.
And while there are some guys who revel in the fact that people fear them, that people take extra caution not to offend or disrespect them…there are big men like me who actually want people to feel comfortable around us. I know. Crazy, right?
If you knew that getting married to a stable responsible man gave your child the best possible chances for success in life, would you take it? Even IF your child could succeed without having the married father in the household, why wouldn’t you take this route if you knew it gave your child a better chance?
I’ve already written about Single Mothers who were “Tricked and Lied” to, so I don’t want to rehash that angle. But as many of us know, things will only continue to get worse in this secular society where people turn their back on Biblical wisdom.
In this video, I respond to a clip from a woman who lays out her argument about how men are manipulative and why Single Moms should NOT lower their standards. She says that men don’t come with warning signs saying they “ain’t ish”. I wasn’t offended, mainly because I know she isn’t talking about men like me…but at the same time, I do see a pattern that’s constantly repeating itself.
1. I think too many people are comfortable with the notion of, “You gotta make these horrible mistakes to learn and grow.“…as if it’s impossible to simply heed the advice from the older generation and avoid learning from THEIR mistakes.
and
2. The lack of shame. I’m not advocating for people to walk around feeling sorry for themselves. But when you have made a mistake and you’re dealing with the consequences of that mistake…Well, part of the reason why Baby Momma Culture is making waves is because ladies who are having children outside of wedlock are bragging about their mistakes. (Jeremiah 6:15)
This is a problem, especially when you’re a celebrity with a degree of influence because it teaches/encourages others to have no shame in following in your footsteps. I break it down in the video.
Is it true that Black Men have “abandoned the church”? Clearly, there are still black men going to church. It’s not like you’ll walk into one and NOT see a black guy.
But from watching the pastors on Jason Whitlock’s show and hearing Kevin Samuels over the past few years, there does seem to be this perception that “black men have given up on the churches”. I thought this was strange. And personally, I’d have no way of knowing whether any of this is true…because *chuckles nervously* as a black guy, I don’t go to church.
First off, I want to make it clear that I don’t think churches, religious assemblies, and congregations are bad. I truly believe church and congregations are great and amazing events. The Old Testament taught that God loves assemblies. So, being that I’m a Christian…why don’t I go to one?
The issues I’m going to bring up may be reasons why other men have stopped going and we’re just too embarrassed to admit it. I haven’t seen anyone else address or mention the MAIN reason why I personally don’t go…So here goes…
THE CHURCH HAS CAVED TO MODERN WOKE IDEOLOGY –
Let’s begin by addressing the common reasons I heard about why Black Men have stopped going to the church. Mainly, the sentiment is that the message, the pastors and ministers, have stopped preaching the Truth. Instead, the “Truth” is being watered down to walk lock-step with today’s woke ideologies. And in turn, they’re catering to women, telling women what they want to hear, instead of what the Bible actually says.
So…came across one of Melanie King’s videos where, once again, a lady’s confirming what a lot of guys have been saying about the dating culture these days. But don’t worry. I’m also going to hit at Male Leadership and why we as Christians need to stand firm.
In the beginning of the video, the soon-to-be divorced woman says, “you can’t dress a certain way and you can’t post sexy pictures on social media. But I dressed a certain way when I first met you!”…she says this to complain that her husband was “controlling”.
Couple of thoughts here. First, you could say that this is just who she is, sexual and sensual, and a man has no right to change her. “WOMEN AREN’T DRESSED TO IMPRESS YOU! WE DRESS LIKE THIS BECAUSE IT MAKES US HAPPY!”
Right, if you’re in that camp, this essay ain’t for you. I’m talking to the real ones out here who respect straight-forward honesty. I’m talking to the ladies who know they dress a certain way and posts pictures WITH THE INTENT of getting attention, attracting a mate. This doesn’t have to mean slutty or half-naked pictures…but come on. I’ve seen many of sistahs fully clothed in dresses that tell me everything I need to know and I’m like…