Allow me to say a few words of encouragement to all my Single Brothers and Sisters who ARE Christians, who DO live by Christ’s standards, who ARE in good shape, who put yourself in places to meet people and you still haven’t found someone, you still haven’t met someone who’s marriageable. Just a random message to stay strong.
Part of living by Christ’s standards means obeying his Word the Bible. Many people, including those who claim to be Christians, have given into modern times, they’ve given into sex before marriage, engaging in the hook-up culture. Now, those people are in steady relationships, they’re married, or engaged. They have what you’ve always wanted.
My friends…you cannot compare yourself to those people. As far as I’m concerned, they’ve merely cheated by taking a short-cut. Satan’s designed these short-cuts where, if you abandon God’s scriptures, if you disregard what the Bible says about how you should live your life, you will be rewarded in this world, here and now, sooner than later. (Matt 6:16-34)
A lot of people lack that patience. They were slaves to their fleshly desires and some have simply given up on faith because God hasn’t provided what they wanted according to their own timetables. I’m not saying those people aren’t Christians. We all fall short. But I’m addressing those who…are very much like me.
At church today, the question was asked, “Do you think you’re living an intentionally spirit-led life?”
I answered, “I think I am. Of course, I’m not perfect. But in living a spirit-led life, I know how it feels to suffer in this world when you strive to live by Bible principles, but you see your peers seemingly prosper by living a life that goes against what the Bible teaches. However, I take solace in knowing that by following God’s word, it really is like I’m a son protected by the storm under my father’s umbrella.”
But still…it’s not easy when you’re alone, this human condition, this innate desire for companionship…
Almost everyone in my life who’s married or in a long-term relationship, they’ve all had sex before marriage. Even those who repented will tell you, “Yeah, that’s one thing I’ve regretted. Not saving myself for marriage.” But that brings little comfort, doesn’t it. It’s great for them to say that now, being all married or having that person who’s developed an attachment to them via sex. But would they still be singing that tune if they we’re a single virgin all over again?
Don’t worry. That isn’t a complain. It’s my way of saying, “I understand.”
Those of us who truly live by Christ’s standards, who never deviated from that narrow path, who heeded the warnings and advice of our elders…we are a rare breed. The wicked will hear that and tell you that you’re not special. They’ll twist the scriptures and tell you that you aren’t meek or humble for thinking that, for daring to be proud of your loyal devotion to God.
I say, pick up your shield of faith and deflect all those arrows (Ephesians 6: 10-20). We are the workers in the vineyard who have been working since the morning, and yet we’ll still get paid the same daily wage as those who came to work one hour at the end of the day. (Matthew 20:1-16) Doesn’t seem fair does it?
We are the responsible sons and daughters who never left our father’s property, unlike our wayward siblings who ventured off and squandered their fortunes to live recklessly. (Luke 15: 11-32) And yet, when the prodigal son returned, he was accepted with open arms. The father threw a feast for him and gave him access to everything you’ve had access to even though you’ve been working hard this whole time. Doesn’t seem fair does it?
My friends, I encourage you to consider the hardships you’ve been spared. While we had the privilege of working in that vineyard, knowing we’ll be rewarded for our hard work…who knows what those other people have been doing all day, not knowing if they’ll find coin to buy food or shelter. While we stayed on our father’s property, working hard, living a purpose-filled life, our siblings lost everything and had to tend to the pigs, pigs that were fed better than they were.
This world has a way of making wickedness seem cool, fun, and exciting. You see it on your phones, on TV, everywhere you look. Satan WANTs you to think that you’re wasting your life, that you’re missing out, that everything, all your faith, all your sacrifice, all your love and desire to do what’s good in God’s eyes is all for nothing.
Resist, my friends. I encourage you to keep your chin up and keep running, keep praying, confident that God will bless us with the strength, patience, and discipline (1 John 5:14). I encourage you to stay on that narrow path leading to salvation. Even if you never see the finish line here in this lifetime, even if you never meet someone and end up dying alone or as a single bachelor, know that you are still winning.
Remember that God never tests you beyond what you can handle (1 Corinthians 10:13). You will suffer, but you can handle it. Your faith in God is strong. You’ve come so far. Don’t betray him now. Don’t be like Moses who was so close to the Promised Land but slipped up by striking the rock.
And beware of people, good-natured people who come offering you dating advice, encouraging you to do more, to be someone you’re not. Ladies and gents…all you need to be a Godly wife or husband is in the Bible. Proverbs 31. Ephesians 5. 1 Corinthians Chapter 7. Anything other than Scriptural doctrine is all merely opinion. Doesn’t mean their opinions are wrong…but are you being Spirit-led?
Consider the Book of Job. Consider how much he suffered. He had so-called friends look upon his situation and offer advice, accusing him of some terrible sin, and reproaching him for not taking their advice. They were so convincing. But they were ignorant to the fact that God was using Job to demonstrate a point.
Similarly, your own friends might hit you with convincing arguments and words of dating advice. If you don’t take their advice, they’ll accuse you of being the architect of your own lot in life because you’re a coward, because you’re lazy, because you lack the will to go out and do the work.
Don’t get me wrong, some people are all of that. However, sometimes…it really is just by the will of God that we’re kept single for so long.
I know…people aren’t going to want to hear that. They’ll call it the cop outs of all cop outs…but if you’re doing what you can, you’re getting out there, you’re meeting new people, but they’re all either too young, too old, already married, or unattractive…who will tell me that’s not the writing on the wall? What are the odds? Who will tell me that these are just coincidences, when you know there are eligible singles out there, but God hasn’t brought you together yet.
Be strong, my friends. God hasn’t forgotten about you. Our knowledge of the Bible brings us comfort because there are plenty of examples of God using his faithful servants to fulfill a purpose that may go beyond what we want for ourselves.
When Jesus’s disciples asked about the Blind Man’s suffering, asking “who sinned? Him or his parents so that he should be born blind?” Jesus answered in John Chapter 9, that neither the man nor his parents had sinned. He was born blind so that the works of God might be displayed in him.
I think that’s why the Apostle Peter encourages us to rejoice in our sufferings. In 1 Peter 4:12, it says, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. 13 But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. 14 If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.”
By enduring this wicked world, we glorify God. And through our suffering, we develop endurance.
I encourage you to keep praying. Like the widow calling out for justice, like the neighbor begging for bread in the middle of the night, keep praying to God. And pray for the patience to wait for God to answer your prayers. Pray for the discipline to resist temptation.
Most who have given in will not understand. Some will act like it’s no big deal. And others who have been blessed have forgotten how it feels to be without, so they’ve become insensitive, inconsiderate to your pain.
Remember why you’re doing this. Because once upon a time, a man came from God who signed his name on a death warrant that was meant for us. Because that man showed us how to love, how to forgive, how to worship, how to cherish. Because he gave His life so that we can live. Honor that!
For me to come as far as I have, if I gave in and had sex before marriage…I know it would be nothing short of the ultimate betrayal to my heavenly father and everything I’ve stood for. Let this and all the other essays I’ve published stand as my declaration, my glorification of God to choose him over the world and my own fleshly desires. I encourage the rest of you to keep carrying that cross. You have the strength for a reason. The choice is yours.
NOW THEN!…Let’s put on the whole armor of God, that we may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:10-20)
Stage In The Sky 