In the wake of Roe v Wade being overturned by the Supreme Court, many Youtubers were asking their followers (mostly black men) what they think. And sadly…what I’ve been seeing is this notion of “we gotta stay silent.”
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard such sentiments. Comedians have been preaching it to their audiences for years. “When it comes to abortion, we men need to shut the eff up” I believe Chappelle said, which was followed by raucous applause.
This was the comment from a Youtuber on the topic of Roe v Wade being overturned, “I’ve noticed when it comes to black women bodies and their sisterhood it’s best to say quiet fellas . All we can do is wrap it up and avoid a 18-year problem.”
Honestly, after seeing what’s been going on and recognizing the need for Men to actually step up and lead…I had to respond with this: “We can’t stay silent, bro. Unchecked immoral behavior is what’s led to the decline of our culture, society, and the increase of black children being born out of wedlock. We need to speak up. Some women need to be told something other than what stupid ideologues have been feeding them. We need to step up!”
The thing is, for at least 40-50 years or so, society and culture has pushed for the ideology of equality. Anything a man can do, a woman can do. If woman want to enter the workforce, let them. If women want to compete with men, let them. If women want to have sex and engage in all the “bad boy” behavior they’ve been told all men supposedly do, let them.
For us younger guys (I was born in 1986), the idea of telling another woman what to do with her body was unthinkable, rude, and oppressive. For years, my thought was, “She’s an adult. She’s a free woman. She can do whatever she wants. As long as she isn’t breaking the law, it’s not my place to tell her or anyone what they can and can’t do, or for that matter, what they should or shouldn’t do.”
And now…I think I’ve come to realize that this mentality is part of the problem. Yes, I still believe in free-will. People CAN do things. But “should they?”
The messages pushed through mainstream culture are full of contradictions, hypocrisies, and double-standards. On the topic of abortion and child birth…because I’m not having sex until marriage, so the issue has never been one of genuine concern for me, I never really cared about Abortion Rights for most of my adult life. To be honest, it was difficult to care about an unborn child who I haven’t even seen yet…over the wants and needs of a grown woman who has a personality and the ability to express herself.
However, when I was twenty-seven, I was in the talking phase with a 29-year-old woman and I’ll never forget what she told me, ever so casually. This was back before I reconnected with God or even picked up the Bible to read it for myself. She said, “If I ever get pregnant, I’m getting an abortion. Because I don’t want kids.” She said this without a hint of regret, sadness, or remorse.
Again…at the time, I didn’t think too much about it. But there was a small voice screaming from the back corner of my mind, “Then stop having sex.”
Next comes the argument of, “well people are going to keep having sex no matter what you do. Overturning Roe v Wade will only encourage people to have back-alley abortions which further puts the woman’s life at risk.”
Again, “Then stop having sex.” Or at the very least, use one of the over 20 forms of contraception to keep from getting pregnant.
“Rock, it’s not that simple. (insert any excuse/reason/justification)
When I saw this posted…it made me sick. I responded with:
“Alright, so here’s what’s been ticking me off for years when it comes this argument. Because you hear it all the time when it comes to “Single Mothers,” they’ll say, we’ll why aren’t y’all blaming the men. It takes two to tango. And my answer was, as it is here…
Unless a man takes you by force, you’re choosing these men to have sex with. If you DID NOT choose, then those men are Rapists and they belong behind bars. When you look at the over 70% of black children being born outside of wedlock, would you have me believe that those children are all, or even half of them are the products of rape? If they are, you should have reported the man. If you didn’t report the man, out of fear of him or being judged, sad to say, you are part of the problem because that man could have gone on to rape others.
Truth is, I don’t buy for one second that there’s this widespread fear of being met with violence. What I believe is happening, is the fear of having to face the consequences of reckless and immoral behavior. There’s contraception out there, but if it fails and you were too loose with your body, having given it to some random Pookie and Ray-Ray who you know you can’t see yourself spending the rest (or 18 years) of your life with…then you’re going to have to deal with the consequences of your bad behavior.
If this results in some back-alley abortion, which is illegal…you’re going to jail sis. And as much as people want to use the argument of, “well, people are going to do what they want to do. And you can’t stop people from having sex.”
Ecclesiastes 8:11, “Because a sentence against a bad deed isn’t executed speedily, the hearts of men are emboldened to do what’s bad.”
For too long, wicked and bad behavior has gone on, celebrated, and unpunished, only emboldening continuous generations to follow suit. I saw it. From the East Coast/West Coast days, all the way up to today. The culture is effed up and people indulge in it because they don’t see the terrible consequences that go along with it. The government’s been coddling people, acting as a safety net…which should have been for those who REALLY need it, but instead, wicked people have abused it. So…yeah. Sorry, Just had to get all that out. All day today, people have been…dude, this whole month has been one big pat on the back for wickedness. It needs to end. Us Christians, we need to do our part and get the word out before it’s too late.” – end response
The boldness by which I share these words were inspired by my mother. A couple of months ago, she blamed men for allowing the moral decay and the moving away from Christian principles. And I think she’s right. As “sexist” as this sounds, Men are supposed to be leaders. Traditionally and Biblically, Men are supposed to be at the head of their households, and arguably the head of culture, society, and government to lead their people forward down the best path to prosperity.
That’s not to say “women can’t lead”…but what I’m drawing attention to is the big picture! More and more Men are simply relinquishing control and handing over the reins of leadership, to follow women. Are we really to believe that, on the notion that “this person is the best person for the job,” there’s no men that would be better suited for that role? Or are we so eager to please women, that we’re just saying yes and giving them whatever they want, letting them do whatever they want, regardless of the long-term consequences…because we’re afraid of being called a bigot, intolerant, oppressive, and sexist?
Because of this, men are indeed reluctant to step up and lead. Even if they do, their hands are tied if they’re livelihood depends on the trends of the world. Over four years ago, an article came out about why Male Managers are less likely to mentor women. As I mentioned in other essays, Sheryl Samberg was pressed about this, and she completely glossed over the issue and just said men need to mentor women anyway. No solutions. No care for the concern or what’s going on in the world. Just keep running into the fire because I said so.
So when people (especially women) say men need to step up, do more, do better…you gotta make up your mind. We can’t both be the quarterback. Someone’s gotta go out and catch. If you want leaders…follow!
Personally, I can attest that it’s not easy, stepping up to lead people. Especially when they’re biting at your hand as you drag them away from danger. I have/had a best friend back in 2016, who asked me to help her lose weight by hitting the gym.
I worked with this girl and knew her for years. I had already been in trouble at the job with people telling on me, saying things like “he made me feel uncomfortable,” and this girl knew it. So on New Years Eve, I pulled out my phone to record her giving me her consent to push her, to stay on her about hitting the gym and watching her calories. She said yes.
She was doing good for the first few weeks, but by the second month, she started to bite back. She started coming up with excuses to get out of working out. I wasn’t accepting that. I kept pushing her. I tried to get her to think of motivation, some drive to get in the gym. But she started to bite back and lash out with an attitude, saying things like, “I’m an adult and I’m free to make my own choices.”
This was just after MeToo and while we were in the midst of the Body Positivity Movement. So as much as I should’ve just put up with her griping and the resistance…I couldn’t afford to lose my job. I couldn’t risk her telling managers and being accused of “fat shaming”. One thing I’ve learned from experience is that you just can’t trust people with things like this. They always say, “Rock, I’m cool. I would never tell on you or try to get you in trouble….”
Yeah…Until you do. I didn’t trust this friend at the risk of my job so I stopped mentoring her. That was six years ago. And since then…my heart sinks to say this, but she’s now very much overweight. She’s younger than me, but already walks and looks like she’s in her 60s. I once spent Christmas with her family. To this day, this woman means a lot to me, but I had to distance myself and leave her alone because just seeing her so overweight made me sad. And yeah, sometimes I feel guilty for “giving up” on her…but like she said. “She’s an adult and free to make her own choices.”
Satan’s done a damn good job of creating a system where telling people to do the right thing can get you labeled with a fire-able offense, like being a misogynist. And because of this, Men have backed down. They’ve stopped leading. Only those who have nothing to lose because they don’t work for some woke corporation are stepping up. But even when they do, their message is demonized and called toxic. And because most people don’t like to think for themselves, a lot of ladies who’ve only heard snippets, simply ran with that opinion of him.
When I visited my older brother last month…he gave me a lot of encouragement. I’m reluctant to call myself intelligent because this world (especially the peers of my generation) has made it a matter of being egotistical for one to say it out loud…but my brother acknowledged it. He recognized me as an intellectual with the astute ability to apply Bible teachings to our modern world. He encouraged me to use this gift, and it really is a gift…just as Samson’s extraordinary strength came from God, I give all credit and glory to God for blessing me with this profound level of understanding.
My brother encouraged me to use my gift to help others understand. He does the same by going to congregation to congregation preaching from the podium. That is his talent. He can connect through public speaking. My talent is in the pen. In a public debate, I would lose. My temper will get the best of me. My self-awareness of so much will overwhelm my senses and I will mutter and stumble and say words I cannot delete, true words, but words that could have been delivered with more love and greater care.
And so…my path is through written word, through essays, through the comments section, on blogs, and videos of these essays. That is how I minister. Ever since I started really focusing on the mission these past few months, I’ve seen it. There are a lot of Christians out there, wandering like lost sheep, led astray by the world, scared to learn the truth if it conflicts with the world because they don’t want to lose the love of the world.
In the US, religion has been pushed to the backseat while we’ve been celebrating a month that’s devoted to lifestyles God clearly disapproves of. I mention, “in the US” because it honestly makes me ashamed that other nations like in the Middle East…they won’t tolerate this. They put their religion first, as we should be doing, but no. And it’s because people are more governed by their emotions.
So as I turn on the news and witness the crowds of protest…it’s embarrassing but to be expected. I don’t have a dog in the fight because I’m not a woman, I don’t engage in premarital sex, and I don’t yet have kids on my own…but I believe there is a right and a wrong. I believe life begins at conception (otherwise there would be no growth) and even though that life is growing in someone else’s body, that’s still someone else’s life. This is why killers are given two counts of homicide when they kill pregnant women. It makes sense. We all know it to be true.
“My body! My choice!”
It’s not just your body. There’s someone else’s body, in your body.
“Men should have no say in our decision to keep the baby or not.”
That’s not just your baby. It’s also the man’s who you chose to procreate with.
“What about if rape happens?!”
That makes up less than 2% of the given reasons for why women have abortions.
“But this is disempowering women and stripping them of their rights!”
What’s more important? You’re right to kill or the unborn child’s right to live?
“You’re oversimplifying things, Rock!”
I’ll leave you with this…Steven Crowder mentioned on his show yesterday that the main reason why the Decision was overturned was partially the fault of the leftist for taking it too far. He said, “You have no one to blame but yourself. You went from ‘safe, legal, and rare,’ to within a few weeks after pregnancy, to all the way up to 9 months and even birth.”
And as men, we let it go so far. Believe it or not, our power and authority to be leaders comes from God. I know people hate to use the Scriptures in arguments, but that’s precisely at the point when do lose our power. When we care so much about doing what’s good in the eyes of humans, than doing what’s good in God’s eyes, we LOSE!
In this country, in the U.S…I don’t see things getting better. I don’t foresee a Christian revival, but that’s alright. Jesus Christ warned that things will get tremendously worse before his return. Not everyone will be saved, but we have to do what we can regardless of reward, recognition, or appreciation from this world. We have to try! It’s what Jesus Christ commissioned. To go forth and preach the gospel to the whole world. (Matt 28:16-20)