This one goes out to all the ladies who are strong and independent and they think that Men are too “intimidated” by them. Don’t worry…I believe you.
In the above video, I provide a suggestion. This is coming from a man who’s always been the biggest dude in class since elementary school. For most of my life, I’ve also been a bit “intimidating” to others. When I was 15, I looked like I was 21.
And while there are some guys who revel in the fact that people fear them, that people take extra caution not to offend or disrespect them…there are big men like me who actually want people to feel comfortable around us. I know. Crazy, right?
For those who don’t know, Gynocentrism is the dominant or primary focus on women. It’s the opinion that we currently live in a society that panders and prioritizes the wants, feelings, and needs of women over the men, children, government, or even law and order.
Please understand, what I’m about to discuss is likely going to sound offensive. But before you pull out your pitchforks and torches…ask yourselves, what’s your reaction when you hear things like “the future is female” or “down with the patriarchy“? Just keep it in mind as I begin.
Here, I expound on the fourth of eight main points I’ve personally observed to help explain how one thing after another has sabotaged (ruined) dating for my generation. And at the end of each section, I’ll try my best to provide a solution because, I know…these sound like excuses. But I haven’t given up. I still have faith.
The Hook-Up Culture (Non-Monogamous Dating)
Tinder (Dating Apps)
Cat-Calling and False Accusations
Gynocentric Worship of Women
Brett Kavanaugh and Weaponizing Women
The Rise of the Manosphere
The Sisterhood
Leaving Christianity at the Door
In a Gynocentric society, the main goal is to encourage women to ascend to what is perceived to be “better positions,” positions that were traditionally held by men. Whether it’s in sports, leadership roles, politics, family, or the corporate boardroom, women are encouraged to be at the top.
Ladies! This is a huge one. This is a big reason why a lot of people will not get married or have the traditional families our parents and grandparents had. Because of the issues I’m about to discuss, a lot of Millennials are stuck in that perennial high school dance where the boys are on one side and the girls are on the other, but nobody is making a move to approach. Once upon a time, the onus was on men to go and approach the ladies. But because of these issues, the men simply are refusing to do this.
Here, I expound on the third of eight main points I’ve personally observed to help explain how one thing after another has sabotaged (ruined) my generation. And at the end of each section, I’ll try my best to provide a solution because, I know…these sound like excuses. But I haven’t given up. I still have faith.
Back in 2014, almost every media outlet and social forum was talking about that Cat-Calling video. It was the beginning of a campaign that eventually demonize what many believe to be “toxic” male behavior. It was the beginning of acceptance towards open misandry, which many felt was justified due to what they perceived as years of open and accepted misogyny. (because apparently two wrongs do make it right)
In the video, a woman walks through parts of New York and is filmed while a multitude of men are greeting her, complimenting her, wolf-whistling and trying to hit on her. Some were rude and disrespectful, absolutely. But not all of them. The problem is, all of it was deemed cat-calling and sparked a nationwide debate about the terrible harassment women have to face from men who behave like this.
As soon as I saw that video and the reaction it produced, I knew…My first thought was, “Well, damn. Now, how are we gonna talk to women?”
This is the first of eight posts explaining how my generation of dating is not our father’s or grandfather’s generation.
Why am I doing this? First off, you should know that there are millennials who are fortunate enough to find their partners and get married. These Millennials are blessed and likely have no idea what’s going on…which also means they probably don’t care and have a “sucks to be you” mentality…until they’re single again and are hit with the same reality rest of us have to deal with.
Secondly, this is for the ladies who are still surprised about things like how men have stopped “making the first move”. Or why we don’t approach like we used to. They’ll say things like, “where have all the good men gone?” or “Whatever happened to chivalry” as if no one’s been watching the news for the past ten-fifteen years.
And lastly, this is for the Older Generation, the Boomers, the Gen-Xers, and even some Millennials who are so far removed from commons folk, like Sen. Josh Hawley here, talking about how Men need to step up and marry these girls. Again, it’s like they have no idea about what’s been going on.
Sometimes when more scholarly Christians toss around words like “Redemption” or “Sanctification” it can be a bit difficult to comprehend or understand what that looks like or what it is. What’s so appealing about it? Why should I care?
Seriously…when I was a kid, my parents used to talk about the “kingdom of heaven.” Then, I looked around the church and thought to myself, “No, Thank You!” That’s because I couldn’t understand what the Kingdom of Heaven was. Back then, they made it seem like “heaven” was this place where there was nothing but a bunch of stiff, pious, monks and nuns who don’t really do anything interesting.
It’s like being back in Advanced Algebra. When I asked when I would ever need to use things like the Quadratic Formula in real life? The teacher didn’t have an answer. And since I saw no benefit, I wasn’t motivated to learn. I didn’t care about getting better beyond that which was required to pass the class because…what’s the point?
I think it’s the same with concepts like “Redemption” or “Sanctification”. Now, to be completely honest. I was prompted to write about Redemption and encouraged by another website called, SigmaFrame. You should check it out, because Jack’s an awesome intellectual and the comments sections are always full of thinkers I’ve come to have a tremendous amount of respect for.
But after much reflection and ample prayer…I asked myself, who do I want to reach? Who’s my audience? Other knowledgeable Christians who are already striving to do what’s good in God’s eyes? I don’t think so.
Instead, my aim has always been on those who call themselves Christians but don’t know what Christ taught. I also target the agnostics who are on the fence, and the Christians who are indifferent towards the Truth because of terrible experiences they may have had with Christianity. If my aim is to help the layman to “embrace” the truth, I believe we have to talk to them at their level. So here goes…
I wasn’t going to make a post about this video I recorded, but after reading one of the responses, I felt I had to dive deeper.
In the Caption, I say “I want to make it clear that I don’t speak for All Black People in this video…at the same time, I hate it when people who have the spotlight…THEY speak for all black people as if we all agree, as if we all feel the same. We don’t.”
As expected, there were a lot of people who saw the title of the video and just jumped to conclusions and posted comments without having actually watched the video. Which is alright. That seems to be the way of things. Not to mention, I think it brings a smirk to the faces of those who did watch the video and know I addressed a point the commenter was trying to make.
The whole point of me doing my videos, or writing my essays with a particular angle is to bring to light an opinion I haven’t seen presented on a greater scale. For instance, I didn’t post anything about the Will Smith slap for months because already I’ve seen it being covered. However, when it comes to the dreaded “N-word” and the controversy surrounding BYU and the Duke Volleyball player…I felt it was time to say something.
To love someone, you must first love yourself. Because if you don’t love yourself, how could you ever love someone else? Sounds like a profound question. In fact, the notion of loving yourself sounds all good and proper. And yet, through mere observation…something seems off.
The first time I heard about this notion of “loving yourself” was when I was 23-years-old, back in January 2010. It was by a Scientologist from my acting class, an older Venezuelan singer in his mid-30s. I remember that night. He spotted me on the treadmill while driving by the gym. I ended my work-out and we talked for hours about philosophy, love, and life. I remember his name. Jessy Leros!
This guy, who was signed by Sony and went on to star in NCIS New Orleans, was kind enough to school me, turning on my critical thinking skills, teaching me that just because two ways are presented to you, it doesn’t mean you can’t create a third. And it was him who told me, “in order to love someone, you must first love yourself.”
He said this because, back then…I was still about 312lbs and had a crush on one of the girls in our acting class. I confided in him about my lack of confidence. She was gorgeous and I really was this big, fat, ugly black dude. You can tell just by looking at Jessy that it’s hard to believe he ever had that problem. But still, he insisted the key was for me to focus on myself. To love myself. Be confident in myself. To have greater respect for myself.
Even before talking to Jessy, there were other Scientologists in the class imparting a similar philosophy. The emphasis on “self” was one of their main talking points. They had a very enticing concept that was, “What’s true for you is true for you…” which is tantamount to self-acceptance. It’s a shortened quote from L.Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology, who says, “What is true for you is what you have observed yourself. And when you lose that, you have lost everything.”
This one goes out to my Dad, the already married folks, and the old-school generation who have no clue what the dating culture is like these days. Because I feel bad for him every time he asks about my dating. I know he wants a grandchild so bad. But this world is so bad…I have to be selective. I have to be wise and discerning.
In this essay, I’ve included plenty of Youtube videos so you can see that it’s not just me saying this. And it’s not just Men recognizing the issues, but more and more Women are speaking up, because it affects them too. However, for us men, we have to be careful with providing our perspective because we run the risk of being called a misogynist. God knows I love women. I credit beautiful women as one of my greatest sources of motivation. Beautiful women inspired me to hit the gym and lose 178lbs. Women inspired me to want to make something of myself, becoming a published author and excelling in life.
And to the ladies reading this…One thing you’ll notice is that I don’t make any demands of women. You won’t hear me say things like women need to change, step up, or be better. Mostly because, despite the many examples you’ll see, it hasn’t warped the fact that I know there are already good, beautiful, God-fearing women who don’t shy away from the Scriptures. But finding these ladies, connecting with them, how to approach them…it’s not like the old days. My generation has ruined that.
Sounds silly to lament being invited to parties…but here goes. First and foremost, I want to say that it’s not lost on me, the honor it is that people want to be around me, that people want me to attend these functions and social events, that they enjoy my company. *bows humbly *
Recently, there was a party for my Boss’s Radio network where fans and personalities came out and had fun. As a co-host, I was invited but declined. When a Woman asked, “Rock, you don’t like to socialize?”
I answered, “No. Not really.”
That’s the truth. But as always, there’s more to it than that. And when I try to explain to people how I’m different, they tend to struggle with comprehension or, flat out just don’t want to believe me. So…for the love of all I hold dear, here’s the Top 4 Reasons Why Social Events are Not for Me. It comes replete with funny memes, followed by the remedy, conditions that would actually make me want to attend.
REASON 1. SOCIALIZING BECOMES A PERFORMANCE:
When I answered the question of “socializing” and said “no, not really…” this is true. But here’s the thing. I can and do socialize all the time. I’m actually pretty good at it. And one of the coolest compliments I get is that I’m fun and easy to talk to. The question was, “do I like it?”
In the context of a party or large gathering, the answer is a resounding “no.” Why? Because I have to watch what I say. Because you’re likely to deal with an audience. It’s not just a conversation between you and a few individuals, but between you and whoever’s within earshot, which could be ten to twenty.
Not to mention the countless curious eyes staring from afar at the big black dude who seems to be center of attention. Being the center of attention is another thing I don’t like. I’m 6’3, 225lbs. In high school, they called it stage presence. I was told I should just get used to it, but when you get to my “Reason Number 3,” you’ll understand why I hate it in a party setting.
“Hang on, Rock? What exactly do you talk about at parties? It’s supposed to be fun. Why are you talking about these deep controversial things?”
So…let’s back it up, for a sec. What’s the point of a party or get together? To socialize, right? To network. To have fun. To catch up. To lay back, drink a beer, dance, and be entertained. Right? Why go to a party if you’re not planning on having a good time?
What if I told you that none of those things are fun to me? Click to watch video below if you’d rather listen than read.
Psychology is the study of mind and behavior. I could go to school and spend years studying the greats like Freud, Pavlov, and Carl Jung…or I could just pick up and read the Bible. I’m not knocking those men or their work. But who better to find out the truth about ourselves, than from the One who created us?
God made humans in his image. That alone should give you some indication that we are more than just mere “creatures”. The Book of Genesis teaches us that God gave us dominion over all other creatures on the planet. I’m pointing this out not to rile up animal lovers…but to emphasize how much God favors us.
And what if I told you that not only did he create us in his image, he also embedded in us the feelings, instincts, and a sense of right and wrong? How many times have you heard this?: “I’m not a Christian. I’m not a believer, but I’m still a good person. You can be a moral person without being a Christian!”
Stage In The Sky 