When churches become so focused on attracting the world that they forget to strengthen the saints…
I recently came across a video on YouTube called “Why I Still Reject Popular Christianity,” and I wanted to share it because it expresses something I’ve been thinking about for a while when it comes to seeker churches, popular megachurches, and modern-day evangelism.
I don’t plan on saying a whole lot in this essay. I mostly want to highlight the video and explain why I agree with so much of what it says.
But I do think this subject touches on a larger issue that many Christians are noticing, especially when we talk about why so many men seem disconnected from modern church culture.
Here’s a question…if you met another Christian who you see if living a life separate from the world, he prays and believes that Jesus died for our sins…but he has a different opinion on the details, like whether he died on a cross or an upright stake…why would it be so important to you to change their mind?
Something I’m beginning to tolerate less and less of, is Christians who make declarative statements as a matter of facts…when the Bible doesn’t explicitly state the claim they’re making.
What they’re actually doing is declaring their interpretation of the Scriptures as facts. But an interpretation is an opinion. An opinion can be wrong.
One of the greatest things I heard a pastor say was, “It’s not my job to get you to follow me. It’s my job to get you to follow Jesus!”
You’re about to hear the words of a natural born rebel. I know the word “rebel” might discredit this essay, because the Bible doesn’t usually call someone a rebel in a positive light.
But I posit…that if you call yourself a Christian, a true believer and a follower of Christ…then, believe it or not…you are actually rebelling. You’re rebelling against Satan and this wicked system of things.
And as a Man who’s read the entire Bible now twice, I’ve acknowledged that it’s going to be next to impossible to find a single church where I agree with their theology 100%…but if it’s just 95%…I can manage and hang around.
This is a sensitive subject for me to admit because I wasn’t raised to make excuses. If I fail…the last thing I ever want is to say is, it’s because the system is rigged against me. Sounds like a cop-out, an excuse to make you feel better for your own lack of talent, determination, or ability.
But…now that it’s 2026 and becoming a best-seller isn’t my “everything” the way it used to be, I think it’s about time to speak up on an issue I’ve known for well over ten years.
With the exception of Non-Fiction Books (think self-help, biographies, books on religion, politics, and psychology, etc) the Book Publishing Industry favors Female Authors and is biased Against Men.
Some of you already know this, but there are those who don’t and those who deny it. I’m talking to those people.
Every time I watch videos about dating today, I realize just how backwards this whole scene has become.
The above video sparked these thoughts: a guy talking to a therapist who’s giving him dating advice that basically boils down to, “Change who you are, so you can attract the kind of woman you don’t even want.”
Yeah… no thanks.
There’s a bigger conversation here, especially for Christian men who are trying to live right. Not the guys gaming the system or using religion as a loophole. I’m talking about the brothers who genuinely want to do what’s good in God’s eyes and still keep running into walls in the dating world.
If you believe in Jesus, all of your sins are forgiven. Everything you’ve done in the past and everything you’ll do in the future…it’s all forgiven by God no matter how many times you mess up. Why do I hate this message?
That’s the main message being pushed in this Men’s Group I joined at church.
Don’t get me wrong, I believe the message of Forgiveness should be repeated to those who are already deeply committed Christian believers. Yes…remind them of this message, that no matter how many times they mess up, God still loves them and they are saved. Preach it!
However…when it comes to my generation of lukewarm Christians, the ones who say they believe in Jesus and call themselves Christians without ever having picked up the Bible…not going to lie, dear readers, I hate preaching this message to them.
In my last posts, I talked about the differences between Love is Blind Habibi and its American series. I debunked the claims of how the men are all “toxic and controlling.” It’s all about the power of choice and how some people hate that they’re simply forced to choose.
In my final post on the series, we’re going to examine the top three couples where bloggers absolutely hated the men. And of course, the reason why is because they stand on business. Allow me to explain.
If you Google the show, the main criticism you’ll see is that the men of Love is Blind Habibi were supposedly “Toxic, Controlling, and Abusive” towards the women. We have to talk about it.
I had to give this point its own post because it’s a nefarious “high school” peer pressure tactic that’s been going on for years. What’s the tactic?
If you can convince people that something is bad, basically giving it a label like calling it racist, toxic or oppressive, it encourages others to 1) not follow that person’s example, 2) it discredits everything they do, and 3) it prevents others from openly liking/sharing/or commenting about how much they agree because they’re afraid of being labeled a bad person too.
Thus…it makes sense why they’d call the Men “toxic, controlling, and oppressive.” They don’t want other men to do what they did, and they want other women to believe that they’re being oppressed when really, they’re not.
For example, they absolutely hate it when housewives talk about how much pleasure they get from serving their men and taking care of the families over pursuing a career and being “strong and independent”. Let’s talk about it.
After watching Netflix’s “Love is Blind: Habibi”…it’s pretty clear that a lot of bloggers, Feminists, and content creators don’t want American men getting any bright ideas.
Easy, this is just food for thought. But it relates to relationship follies and even the characters, stories, and scripts that are written by female writers…that quite frankly, either don’t make sense or it’s not realistic.
Plainly put, the definition of Empathy is the Ability to “understand and share the feelings of another”. It’s your awareness of what the other person is feeling and why they have those feelings.
At the age of 38-years-old…I don’t think a lot of people have this ability. Not just women, but people in general. But as per the point of this essay, I think it’s an inaccurate stereotype to associate this ability with Women.
In my opinion…I’ve found that a lot of women from my generation seem to struggle to understand why or how another person is feeling what they’re feeling, unless (and only if) they’ve personally experienced that situation for themselves.
My wife and I went to see the latest Mission Impossible movie…and aside from the convoluted plot and exposition dumps where characters took turns saying one line at a time (making you fully aware that you’re watching a movie)…one thing you’ll notice about the film is the proliferation of women playing roles that were traditionally (realistically) held by men.
Seriously, the US president is Angela Bassett, the Secret Service agent who springs into action and takes down a bad guy is a petite Asian woman, the commander of an aircraft carrier is a Guile-looking white woman, and one of the main female soldiers on the submarine is a cringy tom-boyish lesbian in a tank top who acts more masculine than the men around her.
And these aren’t just background characters. Every time they’re on screen, they play the most prominent role over every other character. It’s in your face. As if, “You’re going to watch me whether you like it or not.”
I’m not saying it’s impossible for women to hold these traditionally male roles. But as I’m going to explain, it does ruin the magic of movies when you constantly have to work to suspend your disbelief.
Recently, on an awesome post by Jack about the Failure of Christian Dating Sites, a Regular and I got into an interesting discussion about whether it’s a good idea to talk about “God” on the first date.
The Regular’s position was that the first date is not where you want to talk about God, faith, or your Christianity. You should prioritize just having fun and getting to know one another. It should be more light-hearted.
My position was that we should definitely mention God and talk about our first date. Not just because talking about Christ is something I actually enjoy and hoped to find someone who enjoyed it as well. But also because of my intent and priorities.
Is it a deal-breaker if you found out that the guy you liked voted for Trump? Would you break up with him if he didn’t care one way or the other about political issues like Black Lives Matter, Social Justice or Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion?
I agree that a couple should be aligned in their core values for marriage. However, I’m concerned that thanks to Social Media and this Perennial High School Mentality where the “cool kids” are still telling the others what’s cool or not, Women are being shamed against dating the kind of men who are raised to protect and provide for them.
It’s very much like the ladies of England pinning a white feather on men who didn’t enlist to fight in WW I. They didn’t just do this to label those men as cowards, thus shaming men into signing up for a war they really didn’t want to fight in. They also did it to shame all the other women from mating these kinds of men.
First off, we all know that there are indeed people (black men) out there who deliberately use their platforms and messages to attack, belittle, and degrade black women. We know this. Anyone can pull up a clip and use it as an example. But that’s not what we’re talking about.
Don’t silence these women. Let them speak. Because by their words, they’re proving what men like me have been saying for years. Plainly put, a lot of modern day American women don’t want Godly Bible practicing Christians because women want to be their own gods.
Here, we have 38-year-old Joy Taylor. She’s a FoxSports Personality who made headlines early this year as part of a bombshell report about her encouraging another woman to get into relationships with men, that way the woman can hang the threat of sexual misconduct over the man’s head to get what she wants.
We need to talk about how Christian Men are constantly being mocked and rejected by ladies who also claim to be Christians themselves. This is a problem.
By “Christian Men,” I’m not talking about the lukewarm Christians or those who are Christian-in-Name-Only. Those guys are fine. Women love those guys. I’m talking about the true God-fearing, Bible-Practicing Christians.
This essay is inspired by this video where multiple women criticize Christian men for being corny. One woman asked, “Why are Christian Men corny? Why don’t they have swag?”
It’s time we talked about the masculine egos on full display on the Pop the Balloon dating show. It’s so obvious it’s almost cringe. And believe it or not, it’s coming from the least likely of genders.
When it comes to “ego” and conceited behavior, men have been chastised and scolded for decades about it. Since the reboot of James Bond in the 90s, it kept coming up to describe him in which James just shrugs it off.
In “Casino Royale,” there’s a line where Vesper tells James to take the next elevator because there’s not enough room for his ego. *queue the fake laughter
Allow me to conclude this 9-Part Online Dating series by passing down the main lessons I learned to find a beautiful down-to-earth Christian wife after failing in my two priors stints.
In my previous parts, I explained why a man like me had no choice but to go back to the dating apps because the culture ruined the old-school ways in which Men Approached Women. I explained why Dating Apps won’t work for most people, primarily because of egos and an overinflated sense of value.
I explained how I “changed up my strategy” by being my authentic self instead of relying too heavily on Red Pill advice that’s designed to attract the wrong kind of woman. I revealed which Dating Apps gave me the best chances. I divulged my failed matches and how it didn’t work out with some beautiful prospects.
And lastly, I talked about how I attracted and recognized my wife when I found her. It didn’t take years to figure out she was “the one”. It took courage to be open and honest with her, which allowed her to demonstrate the qualities I was looking for in a wife.
So, as I wrap up this series about Online Dating, I just wanted to hit on a few key points to pass down if you were my sister or brother and you’re still looking for a loving, devoted spouse.
On April 5, 2025, I got married to a woman who I met through the Dating Apps. And at the wedding, one of her invites, a father-figure who I now call, “Mr. Ribs,” kept telling me, “You know what, young man! You found a good wife. And the Bible says, he who finds a good wife, found a good thing and favor with the lord.”
He said this, not once, but about three times…As if I didn’t know. As if I wasn’t already fully aware that I am blessed and found that rare Proverbs 31 woman…as if, it wasn’t until he pointed it out, that I went, “Oh my god…you’re right!”
No, no, no, ladies and gentlemen. I’m not a “throw caution to the wind” kind of guy. I’ve had plenty of opportunities to get with many woman over my 38 years of life, but I chose Julia. Why? Because I recognized she was “wife material”. Allow me to explain…
Yesterday, on April 5th 2025…I got married to a woman I found on a Dating App! In my last two posts, I detailed the many failed attempts I had with women I met online. But by the grace of God…I knew Julia was wife material and it didn’t take years for me to figure it out. Let’s talk about it.
Hopefully this will encourage others to be patient, trust in God, and use your best discernment. I’m 38-years-old. Julia is 30. Good men and women are out there. We’re just rare and not many qualify for us, if I may be so bold to say so myself.
I found Julia’s Match.com profile on May 5th 2024, while I was still talking to Crystal. If you’ll recall from my failed Matches, Crystal was the single mother who originally ghosted me, but came back after a month to see if she could make things work with me.
Just a reminder, with these failed matches posts…this isn’t exactly advice. It’s just the brutally honest look into the world of an average 9-5 Christian man who went looking to find a wife. Some of it is hysterical. But hopefully there are lessons you can gleam.
Alright! So, this is the first of two posts detailing the top six ladies I met through Online Dating Sites and how I failed spectacularly. Spoiler alert, with some of them, I admit I may have been the problem. I’ll let you be the judge.
At this point, there are over 1,500 Dating Apps. There are some that are just for black people. Some for people over 50. There are some that claim they’re just for Christians. Which one should you go with? Which one gives you the best chance to find that special someone?
Allow me to begin by stating that I have NOT tried all or even most of the dating sites that are out there. In the points discussed above, you’ll the see the ones I have experience with and it makes sense, given my intentions.
Also! Keep in mind that Dating Apps are a business. A company called Match Group owns many of the platforms I’m going to discuss and they rake in over $3 billion in revenue. That business model works if people stay on the Apps and don’t make any connections. So, while it makes sense for people to say, “get off the dating apps”…I’m here to say that they do actually work. If you use them right.
In my last post…I talked about why Online Dating didn’t work for me back in 2014. I made a lot of mistakes. I didn’t have the experience or the maturity. But ten years later…ya boy had learned. I was determined to do things a little bit different.
In this post, I’m going to discuss what I did differently in 2024 that led to me finally finding a wife. And if you stop reading and take nothing from this essay, take this: If you tell anyone that you’re online dating, they’re gonna give you advice about what to do or say. But at the end of the day, you have to be yourself.
I know dating coaches and bloggers don’t like to hear that. But you have to remember, you’re not trying to attract “just anyone”. You’re trying to attract the person who’s best suited to be your wife or husband. If you’re using it for hook-ups, “nothing serious,” or friends with benefits…this post isn’t for you.
People are starting to acknowledge that Dating Apps are a waste of time. And yet for a lot of us, we also feel like we got no choice. So, with this one, we’re gonna talk about why so many are struggling to find someone. Especially, if so many of us already are on them.
Heads up, this post is going to be mostly negative and sound like a lot of complaining. But as part of my 8-Part series on the topic, I’m just getting all the bad stuff out of the way so I can talk about what actually did work in helping me to find a wife.
Disclaimer, this is coming from an average 9-5 Christian man’s perspective. You might have had different experiences, so read at your own peril. Because what I’m about to say is gonna ruffle a lot of feathers, but these things needs to be said.
I used to be just like everyone else who said Dating Apps are a waste of time. I wrote a whole essay about how Tinder and Dating Apps have ruined dating for my generation. But then I had to come to terms with the fact, that a man like me had little choices left.
To begin with, allow me to say that I’m not a dating expert. I’m not a guru or a pick-up artist. You’re reading the words of an average-looking nine-to-five Christian man who’s never been on board with the hook-up culture or all these stupid dating rules the mainstream’s been promoting via music, TV shows, and social media.
Long story short…The dating sites weren’t the problem. I was. In this 8-part series, you’re going to see how I first tried dating apps 10 years ago in 2014 (age 28)…and it wasn’t until last year (2024, age 37) that I finally found a woman worth marrying. Allow me to explain.
First off, I want to make it clear that this isn’t to bash women. As a Christian man who’s gone to Christian Singles Mixers, it’s simply to answer the question inspired by ChishaZed’s Video, where women are all asking, “Why aren’t men going to these Singles Events?”
Also, another thing to keep in mind is that I don’t speak for all men or all Christian Singles events. This is just one man’s perspective. If it provides just a little bit of insight, hopefully it helps.
Long ago, I remember hearing Beyonce sing the lyrics, “I can have another you in a minute” as she describes leaving a contentious boyfriend for someone else. This is an example of someone who has an “Abundance Mindset.” The question is: Can you afford to have it?
I just finished watching this amazing video from Medium Man (see above) where a 40-year-old man explains that he chose to marry his ex-wife because he had a Scarcity Mindset. Meaning, he married her because he was afraid that this would be the only woman he’d ever have a chance to marry.
Medium Man talks about it around the 3:59 mark, and asserts that men need to have an Abundance Mindset when it comes to women. But is that wise? Let’s talk about it.
The anger that boils from Black Men going after White Women is nothing new. Ever since I was a kid, there was always criticism when it came to dating outside your race. It doesn’t matter what argument you try to make. It doesn’t matter if you say it’s just your preference and you got no hate towards black women. If you date outside your race, people will take it as an insult and a rejection of “your own.”
Recently, popular black activist Dr. Umar ruffled feathers when he spoke up on why “Snow Bunnies” (white women) are scooping up a lot of the sistah’s Black Men. He opined that a White Woman is willing to see the potential in black men and build with him.
Dr. Umar went on to say that “Modern Black Women prioritize a man’s income over his masculinity. Meaning, he can provide, he’s willing to help with the children, he will nurture you, look out for you, but he might not be able to put you in a Mercedes.”
It lends weight to the argument that women don’t want to run the race with you. They want to wait by the finish line and hitch onto you once you’ve made it. But is that wrong?
On a perfectly lovely Sunday night, capping off a lovely Thanksgiving holiday…I saw news that deleted the last ounce of respect I had for this guy. When he pardoned his son.
Without a doubt, Joe Biden is the worst president I’ve ever experienced. For those scoring at home, I was born in 1986.
So, yes…I’ve read about the awfulness of presidents like Jimmy Carter, Nixon, and even bumbling 19th century presidents like James Buchanon and how Rutherford B Hayes dropped the ball when it comes to Reconstruction in the South.
But Joe Biden…and quite frankly, everyone who was tricked, pressured, manipulated, and brow-beaten into voting for him… Points Discussed:
Recently, the boxer known as Gervonta “Tank” Davis converted to Islam and took on the name of Abdul Wahid. Some people claimed he was doing it for clout. But I dunno. Even as a Christian, I’d be lying if I didn’t say there are some enticing reasons to convert to Islam.
Points Discussed
Christians Give Christians a Bad Name
They Defend their Faith
Muslim Women Respect the Men
They Embrace the Patriarchy
Men Need Purpose
Brotherhood
Test of Faith
First off, I want to make it clear that the purpose of this essay isn’t to talk bad or disrespect Muslims or Islam. The crux of this post, as is with most of my essays…is to call upon other Christians to repent.
Now right there, you might be scratching your head a bit. If we call ourselves Christians, why do we need to repent? I thought that being a Christian means that we have already repented. So, what gives?
Alright…last one. This is part four of the reasons why we need to abolish this fear of being called “judgemental” in 2024. Because all it’s doing is silencing those who should be speaking up, while enabling those who need to hear the Truth.
In this thrilling conclusion, I’m going to explain why you shouldn’t be afraid or look down on the Christians who YOU THINK are holier than thou. These might be the very same people who have a hand in saving your life.
Sure, some can be annoying. Some people don’t know the meaning of discretion, time and place. And when you really do love your sinful behavior, when you just want to relax, take it easy and not care about how God feels about every little thing…these Christians can be infuriating. I get it. So, let’s talk about it.
This one goes out to all the Christians who are trying to live by Christ’s standards, and they’re asked this question. Especially if you feel like you’re the only one following the rules and getting nowhere for your efforts.
The question relates to what I’m looking for in a mate. The question implies that you will probably never find what you’re looking for because what you want is unrealistic and thus, you need to let go of these standards and get with the times.
Even if you rephrase the question with the warning of, “you know the kind of person you’re looking for is rare, right?” There are still implications. If you don’t follow up with any kind of encouragement, it does suggest that YOU THINK I should look for something else.
Hey everyone! Just wanted to give some updates of my recent release of “The Perennial War of Paramours” available at Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, and various other sites.
I’m currently entering the book into a several competitions to see if they win any awards. Though, I have to be careful because there are a bunch of contests and the entry fees can rack up quickly.
Ladies! This is a huge one. This is a big reason why a lot of people will not get married or have the traditional families our parents and grandparents had. Because of the issues I’m about to discuss, a lot of Millennials are stuck in that perennial high school dance where the boys are on one side and the girls are on the other, but nobody is making a move to approach. Once upon a time, the onus was on men to go and approach the ladies. But because of these issues, the men simply are refusing to do this.
Here, I expound on the third of eight main points I’ve personally observed to help explain how one thing after another has sabotaged (ruined) my generation. And at the end of each section, I’ll try my best to provide a solution because, I know…these sound like excuses. But I haven’t given up. I still have faith.
Back in 2014, almost every media outlet and social forum was talking about that Cat-Calling video. It was the beginning of a campaign that eventually demonize what many believe to be “toxic” male behavior. It was the beginning of acceptance towards open misandry, which many felt was justified due to what they perceived as years of open and accepted misogyny. (because apparently two wrongs do make it right)
In the video, a woman walks through parts of New York and is filmed while a multitude of men are greeting her, complimenting her, wolf-whistling and trying to hit on her. Some were rude and disrespectful, absolutely. But not all of them. The problem is, all of it was deemed cat-calling and sparked a nationwide debate about the terrible harassment women have to face from men who behave like this.
As soon as I saw that video and the reaction it produced, I knew…My first thought was, “Well, damn. Now, how are we gonna talk to women?”
Is it bad that I wish we could go back to the Old Testament laws? One of the things I like to say about the Bible is the New Testament teaches us the Gospels (Greek for good news), but the Old Testament teaches us about God’s character.
This is my 3rd reading of Deuteronomy and I confess…it’s getting really difficult to see what’s happening in the world and not harbor all kinds of hate and resentment in my heart. It’s tough because, as Christ said, we as Christians should be the light of the world. I want to be an example of shining optimism, fully believing in the hope of everlasting life beyond this world…but lately, I’ve been this guy.
For those who don’t know, Deuteronomy is the 5th Book of the Bible penned by Moses as God’s Word. Aside from the recap of Israel’s exodus from Egypt and their blunder that resulted in most of a generation perishing in the wilderness, Deuteronomy is essentially a book of laws, of traditions, of warnings, of blessings and curses. It’s the ultimate book of “cause and effect.” The answer to the question of, “WHY ARE THINGS SO BAD!?”
As I’m going through, I’m reminded of the brutal punishments God laid out for specific crimes and…i know this sounds bad, but I kinda wish we could go back to that. Part of me wishes we could go back to capital punishment for things like rape and adultery.
“But Rock! If those old laws were put in place, there’d be no one left alive!”
This is in response to an amazing video of this twenty-eight-year old Single Woman who seems far more advanced in her Christian faith than I was at her age. But she’s bringing up some interesting points about how the Church communities are failing Single Women.
So, I encourage you to check out her video for the full context, but there were a couple of points I wanted to hit on. Because from the video, I don’t think she’s quite landing on the root cause of her problem.
This is an awesome video aimed at modern day churches and pastors who have no problem telling men to step up and be better…and yet they shirk from telling Women what they should be doing…because they’re already awesome the way they are.
Before I begin, I want to emphasize the key crux of my argument. For over seven years, this has been my huge point when it comes to being followers of Christ and truly repenting to live as the Bible calls us to live.
If Men are constantly told by Society (celebrities, commercials, Movies, TV shows, and politicians) that they need to get better, while Women are given the message of “you’re good the way you are”…between Men and Women who is the most likely to actually work on getting better?
For years, I’ve been hearing about how the church panders to women. I don’t want to go so far as to say, “I didn’t want to believe it…” but it’s more like, I just haven’t seen it for myself to the level that I could nod in agreement.
My wife and I have been attending a popular church since June 2025. We really like it. We joined up with some groups. Met some amazing couple and we’re making new friends.
This isn’t a Catholic Church. Not a Baptist, Lutheran, or Pentecostal. Just a Protestant church family with over 300 in attendance every Sunday in a massive complex that has an auditorium and classrooms where they host Sunday school for kids and meetings for adults.
They believe in God and recognize Jesus Christ as our lord and savior. They sing songs with passion. And while I don’t agree 100% with all their beliefs, I understand that it’s going nearly impossible to find a church where I agree with everything being preached.
One of those things I clearly disagree with this church about…is Women being on stage preaching to the audience.
The benefit of having gone nearly 20 years before I was able to find a woman worth marrying, is that I have insightful, boots-on-the-ground experience when it comes to today’s Dating Culture.
I’m not saying that one MUST experience something to talk about it…but if you are going to talk about it…and WORSE…talk about it with a sense of Authority as if you KNOW what’s going on with very little research. Be prepared to have people look at you like Leonidas before he kicked that one dude into the pit.
Instead we won’t be screaming, “This is SPARTA!” We’ll be screaming, “THIS IS REALITY!“
Stage In The Sky 