Ladies! This is a huge one. This is a big reason why a lot of people will not get married or have the traditional families our parents and grandparents had. Because of the issues I’m about to discuss, a lot of Millennials are stuck in that perennial high school dance where the boys are on one side and the girls are on the other, but nobody is making a move to approach. Once upon a time, the onus was on men to go and approach the ladies. But because of these issues, the men simply are refusing to do this.
Here, I expound on the third of eight main points I’ve personally observed to help explain how one thing after another has sabotaged (ruined) my generation. And at the end of each section, I’ll try my best to provide a solution because, I know…these sound like excuses. But I haven’t given up. I still have faith.
Back in 2014, almost every media outlet and social forum was talking about that Cat-Calling video. It was the beginning of a campaign that eventually demonize what many believe to be “toxic” male behavior. It was the beginning of acceptance towards open misandry, which many felt was justified due to what they perceived as years of open and accepted misogyny. (because apparently two wrongs do make it right)
In the video, a woman walks through parts of New York and is filmed while a multitude of men are greeting her, complimenting her, wolf-whistling and trying to hit on her. Some were rude and disrespectful, absolutely. But not all of them. The problem is, all of it was deemed cat-calling and sparked a nationwide debate about the terrible harassment women have to face from men who behave like this.
As soon as I saw that video and the reaction it produced, I knew…My first thought was, “Well, damn. Now, how are we gonna talk to women?”
Here, I expound on the second of eight main points I’ve personally observed to help explain how one thing after another has sabotaged (ruined) my generation. And at the end of each section, I’ll try my best to provide a solution because, I know…these sound like excuses. But I haven’t given up. I still have faith.
1. The Hook-Up Culture (Non-Monogamous Dating) 2. Tinder (Dating Apps) 3. Cat-Calling and False Accusations 4. Gynocentrism 5. Brett Kavanaugh and Weaponizing Women 6. The Rise of the Manosphere 7. The Sisterhood 8. Leaving Christianity at the Door
I’ll never forget back in 2012, when a girl vying for my interest told me about Tinder. With a smile on her face, she said:
“Rock, have you heard of this app called Tinder?”
“No, what is it?”
“It’s a dating app that basically shows you the location of people in your area who want to have sex with you. You just pull it up, and if you check them off and they check you off, you can meet and have sex.”
Five days before Christmas, I learned that my 26-year-old cousin was shot and killed. This person wasn’t just any cousin. She wasn’t just any family member. Ever since she was a baby, she was like a little sister to me. And apart from her surviving sister, I don’t think I ever loved anyone more than Autumn.
This is the first of eight posts explaining how my generation of dating is not our father’s or grandfather’s generation.
Why am I doing this? First off, you should know that there are millennials who are fortunate enough to find their partners and get married. These Millennials are blessed and likely have no idea what’s going on…which also means they probably don’t care and have a “sucks to be you” mentality…until they’re single again and are hit with the same reality rest of us have to deal with.
Secondly, this is for the ladies who are still surprised about things like how men have stopped “making the first move”. Or why we don’t approach like we used to. They’ll say things like, “where have all the good men gone?” or “Whatever happened to chivalry” as if no one’s been watching the news for the past ten-fifteen years.
And lastly, this is for the Older Generation, the Boomers, the Gen-Xers, and even some Millennials who are so far removed from commons folk, like Sen. Josh Hawley here, talking about how Men need to step up and marry these girls. Again, it’s like they have no idea about what’s been going on.
This one delves into the criticism many have voiced about the “Mary Sue” and Hollywood continually pushing the “strong female protagonists” in which most of those women act like men.
These opinions…don’t worry, they aren’t feelings that I’m super passionate about because there’s not much I can do about it. But I have held them for a long time. Even when I was in film school, my instructors used to tell me, “Rock, you have to play the game to win it.”
Recently, Russia passed laws “banning the distribution of materials promoting homosexuality, pedophilia, and gender reassignment.”
In a speech, Chairman Vyacheslav Volodin said the law would help protect the motherland’s traditions and values for her children and the future of Russia from the “darkness spread by the United States and European states.”
But Russia is the bad guy, right? They got all kinds of problems. They’re mean and wicked and evil, right? They invaded Ukraine! Who cares what they think! Right?
For those who don’t know, “Body Count” in modern terms refers to how many sexual partners you’ve had in the past. Recently, I’ve seen a lot of videos pop up from men and women debating how important or unimportant this issue is, but I haven’t seen anyone provide the perspective I’m about to give…so here goes.
From the women, what I’ve heard is that a woman’s Body Count A) is a very private issue and nobody’s business. B) If a man asks, then it must mean he’s insecure and C) It shouldn’t be an issue because if men can sleep around, then women can too. Check out this video below to hear it from their own mouths. (this is one of many videos I’ve seen)
From the Man’s Perspective…years ago, I learned about the notion of “Pair Bonding.” Pair Bonding relates to the emotional attachment a person has to someone else, the ability to stay connected to this other person for a monogamous relationship. Keep in mind, these are just theories.
Here’s some questions for you. Does God forgive Satan? Does Jesus Christ love Satan, just as he commanded us to love our enemies? These questions came to mind after a live debate I had with a woman at my gym.
The above were my immediate thoughts following a debate I had with an elderly woman (late 60s) at my gym. It wasn’t planned, but we struck it up and sat in the lobby to hash it out. I didn’t know much about her past prior to this conversation other than she claimed to be Christian. But she’s cool, a gym regular and past a certain age, so I’ve been able to have random chats with her without worrying about “making her feel uncomfortable”.
It began with her inquiring about my being a bachelor (a common topic of fascination). I gave her some details and she said, “Rock. Instead of looking for a wife, maybe you should look for a friend first? Just someone to get along with.”
I smiled and explained, “Yes ma’am. That’s the plan. When I say I’m looking for a wife, that’s just the end goal. It’s really my way of saying that I’m not part of today’s hook-up culture. A lot of my peers do want to get married, but first, they want to get laid. Whereas with me, marriage comes before sex.”
With this one, I want to make it clear that I’m not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings or bash anyone…but it’s something I’ve been in denial about for a long time.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been picked on, shamed, and made to feel bad for being attracted to white girls. And, shamed to say, I’ve struggled when it comes to finding the average black woman attractive. I’m not saying anyone’s ugly. I’m just saying that very often the attraction is not there. I wish it was, but it’s not. Brace yourself. I don’t hold anything back with this one.
The obvious answer is “Yes.” As others have pointed out, “The gospel is quite clear that there is no distinction between the saved prostitute and the person who grew up in church.” (see Galations 3:28) And yet, if someone does have a problem with accepting them…I think it’s important to understand why. Let’s talk about it.
Very often, what I’ve observed from some Christians is essentially this sentiment of, “God accepts them, so shut up. It’s not your place to have an opinion on it one way or the other. You’re no better than they are, so don’t get cocky. Everybody’s a sinner! Everybody sins! We’re all the same! You’re nothing special.”
Here, at Stage in the Sky, we aim to explore those feelings and dig deep as to why anyone would harbor animosity towards the reformed Christians in the first place. Maybe then, we can get over it, let go, and come to accept them?
Sometimes when more scholarly Christians toss around words like “Redemption” or “Sanctification” it can be a bit difficult to comprehend or understand what that looks like or what it is. What’s so appealing about it? Why should I care?
Seriously…when I was a kid, my parents used to talk about the “kingdom of heaven.” Then, I looked around the church and thought to myself, “No, Thank You!” That’s because I couldn’t understand what the Kingdom of Heaven was. Back then, they made it seem like “heaven” was this place where there was nothing but a bunch of stiff, pious, monks and nuns who don’t really do anything interesting.
It’s like being back in Advanced Algebra. When I asked when I would ever need to use things like the Quadratic Formula in real life? The teacher didn’t have an answer. And since I saw no benefit, I wasn’t motivated to learn. I didn’t care about getting better beyond that which was required to pass the class because…what’s the point?
I think it’s the same with concepts like “Redemption” or “Sanctification”. Now, to be completely honest. I was prompted to write about Redemption and encouraged by another website called, SigmaFrame. You should check it out, because Jack’s an awesome intellectual and the comments sections are always full of thinkers I’ve come to have a tremendous amount of respect for.
But after much reflection and ample prayer…I asked myself, who do I want to reach? Who’s my audience? Other knowledgeable Christians who are already striving to do what’s good in God’s eyes? I don’t think so.
Instead, my aim has always been on those who call themselves Christians but don’t know what Christ taught. I also target the agnostics who are on the fence, and the Christians who are indifferent towards the Truth because of terrible experiences they may have had with Christianity. If my aim is to help the layman to “embrace” the truth, I believe we have to talk to them at their level. So here goes…
Is it bad that I wish we could go back to the Old Testament laws? One of the things I like to say about the Bible is the New Testament teaches us the Gospels (Greek for good news), but the Old Testament teaches us about God’s character.
This is my 3rd reading of Deuteronomy and I confess…it’s getting really difficult to see what’s happening in the world and not harbor all kinds of hate and resentment in my heart. It’s tough because, as Christ said, we as Christians should be the light of the world. I want to be an example of shining optimism, fully believing in the hope of everlasting life beyond this world…but lately, I’ve been this guy.
For those who don’t know, Deuteronomy is the 5th Book of the Bible penned by Moses as God’s Word. Aside from the recap of Israel’s exodus from Egypt and their blunder that resulted in most of a generation perishing in the wilderness, Deuteronomy is essentially a book of laws, of traditions, of warnings, of blessings and curses. It’s the ultimate book of “cause and effect.” The answer to the question of, “WHY ARE THINGS SO BAD!?”
We’ve all heard the name, but I’m going to go deeper. The story of Jezebel is about a nation that’s lost its fear of God. It’s about those who think they can live without him. And it’s about the consequences that may not come over night, but make no mistake, it’s coming.
Allow me to begin by talking about the notion of “God fearing.” When I was a kid, I used to hear that all the time but I barely understood it. What kind of “loving” God wants us to fear him?
Well…consider every relationship you’ve ever been in. Consider why people lie when asked about an uncomfortable truth. I believe most people lie because they are afraid. They have a “fear” of hurting the ones they love and care about. Some are afraid of losing the relationships they have. Some are afraid of losing out on the benefits and opportunities of being associated with a person or organization.
That fear…I understand it. Because my fear of God is the fear of being abandoned by him.