The Reason Why Men Aren’t Allowed to Cry – A Critical Essay

Posted by Rock Kitaro on February 23, 2021
Posted in: Essays, Food for Thought. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

In this essay, I’m going to talk about why it may not be a good idea for a Man to be so open and honest about his feelings…especially when it comes to Men’s Issues.

When it Comes to the Stereotype About How Men Aren’t Supposed to Cry, how we’re not suppose to expose our feelings and keep everything bottled up…the mindset was, as men, we have to suck it up and power through. You have to work for everything you get. There are no handouts. No one cares about your tears and your feelings. Now get back out there! 

I know it sounds nice and empowering for people to encourage men to fight against that stigma…to embrace their feelings, to allow themselves to be emotional and let out their pain and sorrows… 

But is that really working for men in general? Meaning, I know all that sounds nice in the spirit of equality and breaking down gender tropes. But when it comes to reality…how are Men really perceived and treated when they open up about how they honestly feel? How are they treated when they show themselves to be emotional? How do people respond when Men honestly open up about their life problems? 

Are people sympathetic? When men receive feedback and constructive criticism, is it with the same care and general softness given to a woman? Or do people just don’t give a shit?

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The Top 4 Reasons Why I Hate Going to Parties and Social Events

Posted by Rock Kitaro on January 24, 2021
Posted in: About the Author, Christianity, Essays, Food for Thought, religion, romance. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , . 1 Comment

Sounds silly to lament being invited to parties…but here goes. First and foremost, I want to say that it’s not lost on me, the honor it is that people want to be around me, that people want me to attend these functions and social events, that they enjoy my company. *bows humbly * 

Recently, there was a party for my Boss’s Radio network where fans and personalities came out and had fun. As a co-host, I was invited but declined. When a Woman asked, “Rock, you don’t like to socialize?”  

I answered, “No. Not really.” 

That’s the truth. But as always, there’s more to it than that. And when I try to explain to people how I’m different, they tend to struggle with comprehension or, flat out just don’t want to believe me. So…for the love of all I hold dear, here’s the Top 4 Reasons Why Social Events are Not for Me. It comes replete with funny memes, followed by the remedy, conditions that would actually make me want to attend. 

REASON 1. SOCIALIZING BECOMES A PERFORMANCE: 

When I answered the question of “socializing” and said “no, not really…” this is true. But here’s the thing. I can and do socialize all the time. I’m actually pretty good at it. And one of the coolest compliments I get is that I’m fun and easy to talk to. The question was, “do I like it?”  

In the context of a party or large gathering, the answer is a resounding “no.” Why? Because I have to watch what I say. Because you’re likely to deal with an audience. It’s not just a conversation between you and a few individuals, but between you and whoever’s within earshot, which could be ten to twenty. 

Not to mention the countless curious eyes staring from afar at the big black dude who seems to be center of attention. Being the center of attention is another thing I don’t like. I’m 6’3, 225lbs. In high school, they called it stage presence. I was told I should just get used to it, but when you get to my “Reason Number 3,” you’ll understand why I hate it in a party setting. 

“Hang on, Rock? What exactly do you talk about at parties? It’s supposed to be fun. Why are you talking about these deep controversial things?”  

So…let’s back it up, for a sec. What’s the point of a party or get together? To socialize, right? To network. To have fun. To catch up. To lay back, drink a beer, dance, and be entertained. Right? Why go to a party if you’re not planning on having a good time? 

What if I told you that none of those things are fun to me? Click to watch video below if you’d rather listen than read.

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Top 10 Ways the Bible Changed My Life: #10. The Truth Set Me Free from this World

Posted by Rock Kitaro on December 27, 2020
Posted in: Christianity, Essays, Food for Thought. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

In reading the Bible cover to cover, the biggest change of my life is that it freed me from this world. Life is so much more fulfilling now…now that I know my purpose and the blessings that’ll come from simply enduring until the end.

My relationship with human beings…it’s a love/hate relationship. I have so much compassion for them as my brethren and God’s created children. But I also feel the same indignation any brother would feel when you see them walking down a path of destruction, especially when you know what our parents told us. And just like any brother when everyone’s all grown up, you have to accept that your siblings are free to make their own decisions, they’re own choices.

Imagine this…Everyone’s on the Titanic and we’re told the ship is going to sink at some point. You look around and everyone’s having a good time but because you heard the captain, you know the Titanic is going to get hit by an iceberg. You don’t know when. So you’re told to remain awake. If you accept the captain’s orders and do what you’re told, your place is reserved on the lifeboats. But everyone else…they’re going down with the ship.

It hasn’t happened yet. And because it hasn’t happened, despite being told to stay awake for so long…the people lack faith. They stop believing. They say the captain’s orders don’t make sense. They begin to think they know better than the captain. They criticize and make fun of you for following the captain’s orders instead of indulging in the fun inebriation they lose themselves in. Even the ones who believed in the beginning start to fall away. They see everyone else having a good ole’ time, sleeping and partying, so they think to themselves that maybe the ship won’t sink after all. They stop following orders. They ignore the captain.

Then the inevitable happens. The ship hits an iceberg. The massive Titanic that everyone had so much faith in, that they believed was unsinkable…it begins to list. Chaos and panic ensues. Just as the captain warned, the only ones who will be saved on the lifeboats are the ones who obeyed his commands until the end.

Jesus Christ teaches us to love our brothers and sisters, to love our fellow neighbors as we would ourselves. If I was in one of those lifeboats watching as the ship went down…I imagine I’d be clenching my teeth in grief and frustration. I’d wish I didn’t care…but God knows I do. Those are my brothers and sisters on that ship.

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Top 10 Ways the Bible Changed My Life: #9. It Gave Me Hope for Something Better – A Life Better Than This…

Posted by Rock Kitaro on December 20, 2020
Posted in: About the Author, Christianity, religion. Tagged: , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

I’m not afraid of dying…Sure, everyone has some some anxiety about how we die, but the concept doesn’t fear me. Because I believe without a shadow of doubt that there’s something better…after all this.  

I don’t like this world. During this time of Pandemic, I keep getting asked when I go out to the gym and drive to and from work, whether I’m afraid of catching the Coronavirus…my answer is no. This isn’t out of ignorance or some arrogance that I think I’m impervious to the disease…But more so, I just don’t cling to this world the way most people do.

And it makes sense for me. You keep hearing all these slogans about how we’re “AloneTogether”…but really, we’re not. I’m a 34-year-old man who lives by himself. Most of my family are hundreds of miles away. I have no wife, no children, no love interests. This isn’t to complain. Just stating the facts. If I caught the Coronavirus and died, the people I love will be taken care. I’d have no regrets. I won’t miss anything about this world. My eyes are fixated on something better.

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Top 10 Ways the Bible Changed My Life: #8. The Bible Changed My Priorities

Posted by Rock Kitaro on December 13, 2020
Posted in: About the Author, Christianity. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . 2 Comments

During my 20s, I obsessed over two main goals. One was to lose weight after getting up to 378lbs. I succeeded in getting down to 220. The other was to become a published author, and not just “any” published author. I wanted to be the best. The kind future generations had to write reports about in school.

Just recently, a friend asked me why I had given up on that goal. It’s difficult to explain without sounding like I’ve straight-up failed. It’s understandable to assume I was using the Bible as an excuse, as if to say I couldn’t hack it in the world of publishing. Because he asked a good question.

“What does reading the Bible have to do with you not succeeding as an author? It’s not like you’re doing drugs or committing a crime. Are you saying God doesn’t approve of authors or success?”

He didn’t ask those questions to offend me. I could tell he was genuinely seeking to understand. Truth is, I haven’t given up on that goal. The difference between 34-year-old Rock and 24-year-old Rock is that it’s no longer the priority. It’s still high up there. But once upon a time, nothing else mattered more.

First off, you have to understand that being a Christian is voluntary. Reading the Bible and believing in Christ’s teachings is something we “choose” to do. So as I begin, I’d like you to keep these critical scriptures in mind.

In Matthew 19:16-23. A rich young man asks Jesus, “What must I do to have eternal life?” Since he was a boy, the young man has kept the commandments. He didn’t steal. He didn’t commit murder. He honored his mother and father. So what commandment must he do to have eternal life?  

In verse 21, Jesus answered, “Sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven, and come and follow me.” 

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Top 10 Ways the Bible Changed My Life: #7. It Taught Me that Faith and Intelligence Go Hand-in-Hand

Posted by Rock Kitaro on December 7, 2020
Posted in: Christianity, Essays, Food for Thought, religion. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

“If you feel like you’re the smartest person in the room, then you’re in the wrong room.”…If you agree with this statement, step one is recognizing that there are people who are smarter than you. Can you do that?

It’s funny…because I’ve been called arrogant. I’ve been called egotistical and too full of myself. But unlike the people who called me those things, I actively seek out people who I perceive to be better than me, smarter than me. I’m not offended or discouraged by them. They inspire me. Instead of belittling and diminishing them so they can feel like they’re down at my level and we’re equals, I’m inspired to better myself so I can rise up to theirs. 

If you’re a high school basketball player and you want to improve, you don’t go scrimmage with a bunch of novice 5th graders. No! You seek out the best players on the block who are all college material. Being on the court with “superior” athletes, forces you to up your game if you want to compete.

That’s what reading the Bible and talking to other Bible scholars has done for me.  

If you Google “Smartest Person in the World,” you’ll see pictures with the likes of Marie Curie, Voltaire, da Vinci, and Einstein. It’s interesting…on this list of “Top 40 Smartest People of All Time”…you won’t find names like Solomon, Hezekiah, Samuel, or Isaiah. 

In 1st Kings 3:12, God himself said, “Behold, I give you a wise and discerning mind, so that none like you has been before you and none like you shall arise after you.” 

…none like you has been before you and non like you shall arise after you…God said that about King Solomon. Therefore, it is my opinion, that Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived. But still…what is wisdom? There’s a school of thought that “wisdom is the best application of knowledge to attain one’s goal.”

Proverbs 9:10 says, “The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the Most Holy One is understanding.” 

Alright, well what does that mean? 

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Top 10 Ways the Bible Changed My Life: #6. It Taught Me How Satan Works

Posted by Rock Kitaro on November 30, 2020
Posted in: Christianity, religion, truth. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

If you’ve never been in a fight…how do you know how well you’ll react or what you’ll do? If you’ve never practiced or taken a single self-defense class, but step into an octagon to face off against a trained Martial Artist, do you think you’ll win that fight? Or are you depending on others to come your rescue?

“Well the answer is simple, Rock. I wouldn’t step into the octagon!”

Too late. You were born. You exist. Whether you realize it or not, you are on the battlefield. Life is full of victories and losses. Only one man who’s ever existed, lived and died with an unbeaten streak.

How many times have we heard something along the lines of, “You shouldn’t have to go outside without having to worry about being profiled, experiencing racism, getting kidnapped, being stalked, fearing for your life, worrying about your child going to school, fearing a bombing, fearing a mass shooting, getting raped, or being abused.” 

It’s a sad to hear, personally. Almost as if people have no idea that there’s a demon that exists, who’s ultimate mission is to seek out and destroy lives.

“But, Rock. People are just saying you “shouldn’t” have to…” 

Here’s the thing…Who told you that you should be able to do whatever you want, go wherever you want, and nothing bad should ever happen to you? Who? Is it in the Bible? Are there conditions to it? Let’s put a pin in that for now. But let’s keep it in mind as we begin. 

If you’ve never been in a fight, but step into the octagon next to a trained Martial Artist, you’re going to get wrecked. Why? Because you’re vulnerable to all kinds of attacks and you don’t know how to defend yourself, or how the person will attack, or what to do when you’re getting hit. 

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Top 10 Ways the Bible Changed My Life: #5. It Taught Me Which Religious Practices Were Made Up By Man

Posted by Rock Kitaro on November 21, 2020
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This year, I watched deeply disturbing documentaries about Jeffery Epstein and R. Kelly. The thing I found that was very similar between their victims, the survivors…was how vulnerable they were. But what does that mean? To be vulnerable? 

When I heard the victims speak…it hurt my heart. Not just because of what happened to them, but how it happened. Ladies and Gents, I’m a staunch believer of accountability, that we’re all responsible for what happens to us in our lives and how we handle it. But these victims were all underage; seventeen and as young as twelve. I believe the predators were able to prey on them because of things these victims did not know. 

By some accounts, the victims (now grown adults) kept saying how they knew what they were doing was wrong…but they were too afraid to stop or leave out of fear. They were afraid of death, of getting hurt, of having their careers or futures ruined. And yet…they kept coming back. They stayed. Some even returned with “friends” who ended up being subjected to the same thing. This is puzzling.  

Honestly. I’m not trying to blame the victim, but to understand them. And the answer that keeps coming back was that they simply did not know what to do. Bear with me.

Think back to slavery…not just slavery in America, but Rome or even the serfs working the fields during the Middle Ages. Of those serfs and slaves, how many do you think KNEW they didn’t have to be a slave or a serf? At any point they could have fought for their freedom or fled.  

Yes, you could say that they would have been captured and killed, but that doesn’t eliminate the fact that they still had a choice.

Do this or die, is still a choice. A horrible choice. But a choice, nonetheless. 

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Top 10 Ways the Bible Changed My Life: #4. It Connected Me With the Most Dependable Friend I’ll Ever Need

Posted by Rock Kitaro on November 15, 2020
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This one is for those who are afraid of ending up alone…so much so that they’d stay in situations where they’re abused and taken advantage of just to avoid that loneliness. This is for those who feel like they have no place in this world.

Some of us are blessed to have a tight-knit circle of friends. Some of us have one or two buddies they can always depend on. Some of us have boyfriends, girlfriends, wives or husbands we can talk to. Those who uplift us and encourage us when we’re down, who celebrate us in our triumphs.

What about the rest of us? 

I took an Enneagram Personality test last year in which I was labeled a Type 3, work-oriented, driven, and thrived on results. Another trait associated with “3” is that WE NEED validation. Sounds bad, doesn’t it? I’ve heard it said many times that anyone who’s constantly seeking validation is “sad, pathetic and weak.”

Truth is, I really do seek validation. And yet, I wouldn’t describe myself as sad, pathetic, and weak. I used to…back when I sought validation from “everyone.” Back then, I was seeking to impress not just family members, but also my peers, my colleagues, co-workers, friends, millions of potential fans as an author, and of course potential love interests.

And I confess…when I didn’t get that validation, it would depress me deeply…

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Top 10 Ways the Bible Changed My Life: #3. It Explains Human Behavior

Posted by Rock Kitaro on November 8, 2020
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Psychology is the study of mind and behavior. I could go to school and spend years studying the greats like Freud, Pavlov, and Carl Jung…or I could just pick up and read the Bible. I’m not knocking those men or their work. But who better to find out the truth about ourselves, than from the One who created us?  

God made humans in his image. That alone should give you some indication that we are more than just mere “creatures”. The Book of Genesis teaches us that God gave us dominion over all other creatures on the planet. I’m pointing this out not to rile up animal lovers…but to emphasize how much God favors us.

And what if I told you that not only did he create us in his image, he also embedded in us the feelings, instincts, and a sense of right and wrong? How many times have you heard this?: “I’m not a Christian. I’m not a believer, but I’m still a good person. You can be a moral person without being a Christian!” 

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