I had a conversation with Marisol…the 34-year-old Atheist on my boss’s old radio show. I said I’d be willing to date a woman as young as 18, not that I’d prioritize dating someone so young, but that I was willing to. She was shocked.
That’s when Marisol said, “wouldn’t you like a woman with more experience, and someone you had more in common with? I mean, don’t you like intelligent women?”
The thing is…more and more, intelligence is starting to sound like a subjective matter. A career bank-robber can have intelligence to successfully pull off a heist but is incredibly stupid when it comes to thinking the law won’t catch up with them and they’ll have to serve time.
In regard to Marisol’s question…this is going to sound extremely vain, but it’s my honest thoughts and I don’t particularly think I’m wrong.
I’ve been side-stepping this issue for a long time because I’m not married and I understand this is a very sensitive issue. But as I pursue a potential mate through online dating…the topic’s come up and I confess, I see a great deal of irony in those who take umbrage with the concept of “Wives submitting to your Husbands…”
Also…I’m going to hit on the enormous folly of Christians who say things like, “I believe in what Jesus said, but I don’t care about those other books of the Bible”…this is a problem.
Audio Video of Essay
So check it, once upon a time I considered myself a Male Feminist. I was all about the messages of empowerment and breaking down traditional roles and self-love and all that. By the age of 28, however, I started to read the Bible for myself. I wanted to know “the truth.” Not what someone told me. Not what was passed down. But the actual truth. And this began a long process of learning how much our modern culture and living by Christ’s standards…sometimes they don’t mix.
That year, in 2014, while visiting my Aunt in Colorado, I told her what I was looking for in a mate. I said, “I’m not looking for someone to lead, or someone to follow, I’m looking for someone I can walk hand-in-hand with as my equal.”
I said this…thinking it was correct. It felt right, very in line with feminism and all the ways of the world. That’s when my aunt said:
“Well, you know, Rock…as Christians, we’re taught that the man is supposed to be the head of the household. Husbands are to honor their wives, but wives are to submit to the husbands. The husbands are supposed to lead.”
I just turned 35 yesterday, making me a thirty-five-year-old virgin. I don’t say that out of shame or embarrassment. But rather…this is to explain for people who look at me, hear that I’m a virgin…and they just don’t believe it.
Recently, I made up my mind to try online dating again. If you do a quick search, I’m sure you’ll find an essay from years ago where I adamantly refused to do it again after trying it in 2014 and found that it prompted a whole host of negative effects in me. Such as effecting my respect for women, distorting my self-worth, and taking up too much of my time and thoughts.
Pragmatically, however, I’ve concluded that with the way culture is right now, the hope or idea of me meeting someone organically…it’s not likely. I’m terrible at identifying “choosing signals,” I can’t tell the difference between shyness or fear so I stay away from both, and I don’t put myself out there. I’m not the kind of guy who takes up activities or goes to events with the main objective of finding someone. So to online dating, I’ll go.
While making up my mind to do this, I’ve asked people, men and women for their advice. Goes without saying, I’m a very different man from the 28-year-old I used to be. I have a greater understanding of the culture, I have more Red-Pilled Knowledge from other men’s experiences…and more importantly, I’m a committed Christian who’s read the entire Bible and believes in it.
But one thing constantly struck me when I talked to people, particularly women. When I say I’m a virgin, their jaws drop. They’re shocked and find it hard to believe. And usually, their first response isn’t “why”…it’s “how?!”…as if I avoided getting wet while walking through a torrential downpour with no umbrella.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I sat down to watch this documentary. I love documentaries. I love learning something new about history, about biographies, about events…But when it comes to sheer evil. Let’s just say…with clenched fists I watched this and had to keep whispering, “God will handle this. God will judge. God will punish them.”
For those who don’t know, in September of 1971, there was a full-scale riot at the Attica Correctional Facility in New York. Starting on the 9th, prisoners broke through a gate that had a loose bolt, and one of the first things they did was beat a correctional officer to death. Then they took hostages. They made demands. They called for lawyers, reforms, and better conditions.
On Monday, September 13th, 1971…a helicopter flew over dumping a cloud of tear gas into the yard before state police went in with a hail of gunfire, pretty much firing indiscriminately. People who were surrendering were shot and killed. Hostages were shot and killed. In total, 43 people were dead, over 80 wounded.
After that…and here’s where I really bite my lip and struggle to contain my rage…prisoners were stripped naked and subjected to some of the most inhumane torture imaginable. I don’t want to curse. I would encourage you to watch the documentary to see for yourself, but I confess…I do take umbrage with some of the decisions the producers took in putting this film together, as I’ll mention later.
Allow me to begin by saying, as a Christian, I believe the Gospels should be taught with love and kindness. Not guilt, ridicule, or a confrontation.
What prompted me to write this essay is to conclude an internal conflict regarding faith. A new challenger has emerged. An Atheist. During a recent debate (argument) on my boss’s radio show, she challenged me to learn more about the views of Sam Harris and Christopher Hitchens in order to understand why Atheists don’t believe in God.
She said, “I’ll read something of the Bible that you suggest, if you check out a video by one of these Atheists.”
My boss egged her on and encouraged me to accept the challenge. The thing is…while she openly admitted that she knew very little about the Bible or what it meant to be a Christian, I actually have been through my Atheist Phase. I already knew a lot about Atheism. Allow me to explain…
When I was in high school, I went the first three years without a girlfriend. It wasn’t until my Senior Year that a green-eyed blonde made it known that she was attracted to me. She was my first official girlfriend. Age 18.
This was in a place called Augusta, Georgia in 2004…aka the Dirty South, circa Outkast’s “Hey Ya” and Usher’s “Yeah.”. My point in mentioning this, is that I’m black. My first official girlfriend was white. No, no one gave me grief about this (not to my face). But I do remember something interesting happening.
While I was “going out” with said Green-Eyed Beauty, she and I were walking back to classes from the cafeteria, and a black girl tapped me. I looked over my shoulder to see her gesturing towards her friend, a gorgeous black girl who had to be a junior. I didn’t know her, but we had locked eyes before in passing. She was tall, in-shape, had a gentle smile…the type I would’ve undoubtedly said yes to. But I was already with someone. So I smiled and declined apologetically. Remember this incident for later…
In this essay, I’m going to talk about why it may not be a good idea for a Man to be so open and honest about his feelings…especially when it comes to Men’s Issues.
When it Comes to the Stereotype About How Men Aren’t Supposed to Cry, how we’re not suppose to expose our feelings and keep everything bottled up…the mindset was, as men, we have to suck it up and power through. You have to work for everything you get. There are no handouts. No one cares about your tears and your feelings. Now get back out there!
I know it sounds nice and empowering for people to encourage men to fight against that stigma…to embrace their feelings, to allow themselves to be emotional and let out their pain and sorrows…
But is that really working for men in general? Meaning, I know all that sounds nice in the spirit of equality and breaking down gender tropes. But when it comes to reality…how are Men really perceived and treated when they open up about how they honestly feel? How are they treated when they show themselves to be emotional? How do people respond when Men honestly open up about their life problems?
Are people sympathetic? When men receive feedback and constructive criticism, is it with the same care and general softness given to a woman? Or do people just don’t give a shit?
Sounds silly to lament being invited to parties…but here goes. First and foremost, I want to say that it’s not lost on me, the honor it is that people want to be around me, that people want me to attend these functions and social events, that they enjoy my company. *bows humbly *
Recently, there was a party for my Boss’s Radio network where fans and personalities came out and had fun. As a co-host, I was invited but declined. When a Woman asked, “Rock, you don’t like to socialize?”
I answered, “No. Not really.”
That’s the truth. But as always, there’s more to it than that. And when I try to explain to people how I’m different, they tend to struggle with comprehension or, flat out just don’t want to believe me. So…for the love of all I hold dear, here’s the Top 4 Reasons Why Social Events are Not for Me. It comes replete with funny memes, followed by the remedy, conditions that would actually make me want to attend.
REASON 1. SOCIALIZING BECOMES A PERFORMANCE:
When I answered the question of “socializing” and said “no, not really…” this is true. But here’s the thing. I can and do socialize all the time. I’m actually pretty good at it. And one of the coolest compliments I get is that I’m fun and easy to talk to. The question was, “do I like it?”
In the context of a party or large gathering, the answer is a resounding “no.” Why? Because I have to watch what I say. Because you’re likely to deal with an audience. It’s not just a conversation between you and a few individuals, but between you and whoever’s within earshot, which could be ten to twenty.
Not to mention the countless curious eyes staring from afar at the big black dude who seems to be center of attention. Being the center of attention is another thing I don’t like. I’m 6’3, 225lbs. In high school, they called it stage presence. I was told I should just get used to it, but when you get to my “Reason Number 3,” you’ll understand why I hate it in a party setting.
“Hang on, Rock? What exactly do you talk about at parties? It’s supposed to be fun. Why are you talking about these deep controversial things?”
So…let’s back it up, for a sec. What’s the point of a party or get together? To socialize, right? To network. To have fun. To catch up. To lay back, drink a beer, dance, and be entertained. Right? Why go to a party if you’re not planning on having a good time?
What if I told you that none of those things are fun to me? Click to watch video below if you’d rather listen than read.
In reading the Bible cover to cover, the biggest change of my life is that it freed me from this world. Life is so much more fulfilling now…now that I know my purpose and the blessings that’ll come from simply enduring until the end.
My relationship with human beings…it’s a love/hate relationship. I have so much compassion for them as my brethren and God’s created children. But I also feel the same indignation any brother would feel when you see them walking down a path of destruction, especially when you know what our parents told us. And just like any brother when everyone’s all grown up, you have to accept that your siblings are free to make their own decisions, they’re own choices.
Imagine this…Everyone’s on the Titanic and we’re told the ship is going to sink at some point. You look around and everyone’s having a good time but because you heard the captain, you know the Titanic is going to get hit by an iceberg. You don’t know when. So you’re told to remain awake. If you accept the captain’s orders and do what you’re told, your place is reserved on the lifeboats. But everyone else…they’re going down with the ship.
It hasn’t happened yet. And because it hasn’t happened, despite being told to stay awake for so long…the people lack faith. They stop believing. They say the captain’s orders don’t make sense. They begin to think they know better than the captain. They criticize and make fun of you for following the captain’s orders instead of indulging in the fun inebriation they lose themselves in. Even the ones who believed in the beginning start to fall away. They see everyone else having a good ole’ time, sleeping and partying, so they think to themselves that maybe the ship won’t sink after all. They stop following orders. They ignore the captain.
Then the inevitable happens. The ship hits an iceberg. The massive Titanic that everyone had so much faith in, that they believed was unsinkable…it begins to list. Chaos and panic ensues. Just as the captain warned, the only ones who will be saved on the lifeboats are the ones who obeyed his commands until the end.
Jesus Christ teaches us to love our brothers and sisters, to love our fellow neighbors as we would ourselves. If I was in one of those lifeboats watching as the ship went down…I imagine I’d be clenching my teeth in grief and frustration. I’d wish I didn’t care…but God knows I do. Those are my brothers and sisters on that ship.
“If you feel like you’re the smartest person in the room, then you’re in the wrong room.”…If you agree with this statement, step one is recognizing that there are people who are smarter than you. Can you do that?
It’s funny…because I’ve been called arrogant. I’ve been called egotistical and too full of myself. But unlike the people who called me those things, I actively seek out people who I perceive to be better than me, smarter than me. I’m not offended or discouraged by them. They inspire me. Instead of belittling and diminishing them so they can feel like they’re down at my level and we’re equals, I’m inspired to better myself so I can rise up to theirs.
If you’re a high school basketball player and you want to improve, you don’t go scrimmage with a bunch of novice 5th graders. No! You seek out the best players on the block who are all college material. Being on the court with “superior” athletes, forces you to up your game if you want to compete.
That’s what reading the Bible and talking to other Bible scholars has done for me.
If you Google “Smartest Person in the World,” you’ll see pictures with the likes of Marie Curie, Voltaire, da Vinci, and Einstein. It’s interesting…on this list of “Top 40 Smartest People of All Time”…you won’t find names like Solomon, Hezekiah, Samuel, or Isaiah.
In 1st Kings 3:12, God himself said, “Behold, I give you a wise and discerning mind, so that none like you has been before you and none like you shall arise after you.”
…none like you has been before you and non like you shall arise after you…God said that about King Solomon. Therefore, it is my opinion, that Solomon was the wisest man who ever lived. But still…what is wisdom? There’s a school of thought that “wisdom is the best application of knowledge to attain one’s goal.”
Proverbs 9:10 says, “The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge of the Most Holy One is understanding.”
Stage In The Sky 