This is a little embarrassing to admit because…as men, we’re told we have to be “masculine” and apparently everyone’s coming up with their own pre-conceived notions of what masculinity is…but if you know me, then you know honesty is forte.
This is about getting Likes or even Emojis for your work, posts, and social media. Essentially, it is “validation.” It’s cool to say things like, “I don’t NEED any validation”. Sure, sure.
The truth is…I don’t “NEED” it. But would I like it? Absolutely! Why does anyone post ANYTHING, if not to share and get some kind of reaction or validation back from the people who “follow” them. This isn’t a bad thing. We’re humans living in the age of technology. Once upon a time, we had local fairs and town squares. Now, we have social media.
Long story short, they don’t. It’s a trick. Ever since I was a kid, I simply nodded along to the cliché that good girls fall for the bad boys. Even after learning about the Red Pill and observing the dating culture, on the surface there does seem to be some truth to it. It wasn’t until recently that I started to question, “If you fall for a bad boy, are you really good?”
There’s important reasons as to why I’m writing this. 1) It’s insulting to the women who really are good. 2) It encourages men to be “bad boys”. 3) “Boring” is being used as a label, more than an adjective, which I think is a deceptive trick to pressure men into prioritizing what women want over being responsible and 4) I think it’s just one more thing people use to justify their bad behavior and foolish choices. As in…“Hey! It’s out of my hands. I’m good so I got no control over myself but to fall for the bad boy!”
You see it in movies and TV shows. There’s the good, honest, wholesome girl who ends up being enticed, manipulated, and turned away from her virtuous values by the Bad Boy. Sometimes, it’s depicted as a good thing. Often, the girl is being oppressed by her religiously strict parents or their rigid traditions that were always holding her back from what she really wanted.
“Nah-uh, Rock! Don’t even start! Alladin was not a bad boy! He was a good guy with a heart of gold! He only stole to survive. He only lied about being a prince because he really wanted to get with Jasmine! That doesn’t make him a ‘bad boy’.”
Is it bad that I wish we could go back to the Old Testament laws? One of the things I like to say about the Bible is the New Testament teaches us the Gospels (Greek for good news), but the Old Testament teaches us about God’s character.
This is my 3rd reading of Deuteronomy and I confess…it’s getting really difficult to see what’s happening in the world and not harbor all kinds of hate and resentment in my heart. It’s tough because, as Christ said, we as Christians should be the light of the world. I want to be an example of shining optimism, fully believing in the hope of everlasting life beyond this world…but lately, I’ve been this guy.
For those who don’t know, Deuteronomy is the 5th Book of the Bible penned by Moses as God’s Word. Aside from the recap of Israel’s exodus from Egypt and their blunder that resulted in most of a generation perishing in the wilderness, Deuteronomy is essentially a book of laws, of traditions, of warnings, of blessings and curses. It’s the ultimate book of “cause and effect.” The answer to the question of, “WHY ARE THINGS SO BAD!?”
As I’m going through, I’m reminded of the brutal punishments God laid out for specific crimes and…i know this sounds bad, but I kinda wish we could go back to that. Part of me wishes we could go back to capital punishment for things like rape and adultery.
“But Rock! If those old laws were put in place, there’d be no one left alive!”
When it comes to fictional characters, James Bond and Bruce Wayne have always been my favorite guys when it comes to encouraging me to stay focused and forge ahead. Heads up, this post is going to include just one spoiler if you haven’t seen “The Batman” yet.
Some of the greatest moments in my life were often unseen. So many times, I’ve helped people, sacrificed for them, pushed myself to get things done for them and went without recognition. So many times I’ve resisted temptation, yet still suspected of giving in. So many times I could have taken the easy way, methods that would’ve hurt or betrayed others to get me where I wanted farther and faster. But I didn’t. Instead, I see others taking the easy (wrong) way and reaping the rewards, looking at me as if I’m the fool.
Most of the time, I take it in stride. I tell myself that God sees it and that’s enough. But every now and then, it starts to wear thin. The lack of appreciation or immediate rewards that almost feels like self-inflicted suffering starts to make me question whether being a good man is really worth it. Reading the Bible helps, but not when I’m resentful. Not when I’m down. Reading the Bible while I’m so full of pent-up frustration only makes me angrier at myself for not having enough faith.
It’s then that I sometimes put on any Batman or James Bond movie (excluding the Roger Moore depictions), and through the example of these characters I’m able to shake off this human desire for recognition, appreciation, or validation. Just stay focus on the mission.
James Bond and Bruce Wayne have a lot in common, more than people realize. But for me, the main thing I’ve always admired was their almost dogged-like determination to stay focused on the mission, the overall objective. They may encounter romance, friends, and side-tasks along the way, but at the end of the day, the mission comes first. As a Christian living in these modern times…how can I not find that inspirational? Allow me to explain.
Don’t worry, this is gonna be lighthearted and easy. Feel free to comment and poke fun. It goes out to all the tall guys out there who went their whole lives not knowing that being tall was something Women liked about you. For those who aren’t tall…hopefully this gives you a different perspective.
Women like tall men…Is that a myth? Or is it true? The subject came up during a Youtube discussion where I said that I can’t do the “Cold Approach” and mentioned that I’m 6’3, 235lbs (among many other reasons).
A Commenter asked, “You can’t cold approach because you think your size intimidates women?”
Another one followed up with, “I am 5’9.5 being 6’3 is a plus in the dating market.”
This isn’t the first time I’ve been met with such skepticism. Nowadays, it’s out in the open. More and more women are upfront and honest about their desire for tall guys. It’s on their dating profiles. They put it in the comments section. Everyone wants it. They’re looking for men six feet or taller.
So…maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s just my rotten luck in life. Maybe it’s because I’m so ugly that it cancels out the fact that I am indeed taller than most men. But for the life of me, I never knew my height was such a desirable thing until a few years ago. I’m 35.
Now, before I get into the dating side of it, allow me to share what it was like growing up as one of the tallest dudes in the room. In the above picture, I was already the tallest in my family when I was 15.
I was tricked! I was misled! They lied to me! Everybody makes mistakes! They gave me false hope! Deep within these statements is an acknowledgement that so many try to detach themselves from. If you were fooled…that means you were a fool. It means You messed up.
This is important to point out because if you don’t, you’re essentially saying there’s nothing (or very little) you could’ve done to avoid your situation in life. The purpose of this essay isn’t to belittle people, but to empower them. Not the social justice way where everything hinges on how everyone else treats you and whether or not they accept you…but to give you greater control of yourself, strengthening you to believe that whatever happens to you, is because of you.
Step one to change is awareness. This means calling out all the lies and helping you acknowledge the truth. The truth doesn’t always sound pleasant. So if it sounds like I’m “attacking you,” please believe that it’s out of love that I write these things. But when it comes to single mothers and children being born out of wedlock, this issue is something I find myself deeply passionate about.
And of course, I know have to tread with caution. I think a big reason why the harsh truths about this subject isn’t talked about so openly…is because it would mean criticizing a lot of people we may know, love, and care about, especially in the black community. A lot of us were raised by strong single mothers. Our sisters and cousins are single mothers. We’d sooner hurt ourselves than intentionally cause them pain, such as talking about this touchy subject. But if we don’t talk about it because we’re so afraid of hurting people’s feelings…how will things ever change? Do we have any right to complain when none of us lifts a finger or says a word to point out what we need to be doing? So here I go…
I’ve been side-stepping this issue for a long time because I’m not married and I understand this is a very sensitive issue. But as I pursue a potential mate through online dating…the topic’s come up and I confess, I see a great deal of irony in those who take umbrage with the concept of “Wives submitting to your Husbands…”
Also…I’m going to hit on the enormous folly of Christians who say things like, “I believe in what Jesus said, but I don’t care about those other books of the Bible”…this is a problem.
Audio Video of Essay
So check it, once upon a time I considered myself a Male Feminist. I was all about the messages of empowerment and breaking down traditional roles and self-love and all that. By the age of 28, however, I started to read the Bible for myself. I wanted to know “the truth.” Not what someone told me. Not what was passed down. But the actual truth. And this began a long process of learning how much our modern culture and living by Christ’s standards…sometimes they don’t mix.
That year, in 2014, while visiting my Aunt in Colorado, I told her what I was looking for in a mate. I said, “I’m not looking for someone to lead, or someone to follow, I’m looking for someone I can walk hand-in-hand with as my equal.”
I said this…thinking it was correct. It felt right, very in line with feminism and all the ways of the world. That’s when my aunt said:
“Well, you know, Rock…as Christians, we’re taught that the man is supposed to be the head of the household. Husbands are to honor their wives, but wives are to submit to the husbands. The husbands are supposed to lead.”
Plainly put…We have to be. To be clear, I’m not talking about Christians who are constantly giving their unsolicited opinion about every little thing. I’m talking about Christians who politely refrain from worldly lifestyles or indulging in sinful behavior. I get deep with this one. So brace yourselves.
“You’re too judgmental! Jesus Christ was open and accepting of everyone! I’ve talked to other Christians and they’re cool with everyone’s lifestyle! DON’T JUDGE ME!”
How many times have you heard this when it comes to some behavior or activity that you know goes against Bible principles? Like the Hook-Up Culture, Sex Before Marriage, Getting Drunk, High, or even celebrating and promoting Pride Month.
Very often, Christians and non-Christians alike will use Christ’s own words against you. At Matthew Chapter 7 Jesus said: “Judge not, that you be not judged. 2 For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”
Strong words from our Lord and Savior. However, at John 7:24, Jesus also says, “24 Do not judge by appearances, but judge with righteous judgment.”…Sounds like he’s telling us to judge here? Sounds contradicting. But is it?
I think it’s about time we elaborated on the various meanings of “judge” as well as addressing this notion of, “Well, I talked to other Christians, and they’re cool with it!”
Forgive me if this sounds condescending, but consider this: A 1st Grader who knows 2+2=4, knows math. But so does a 10th grader who knows how to solve Quadratic Equations. Thus, both can claim they do really know math…however one’s a bit more advanced in his knowledge than the other.
I just turned 35 yesterday, making me a thirty-five-year-old virgin. I don’t say that out of shame or embarrassment. But rather…this is to explain for people who look at me, hear that I’m a virgin…and they just don’t believe it.
Recently, I made up my mind to try online dating again. If you do a quick search, I’m sure you’ll find an essay from years ago where I adamantly refused to do it again after trying it in 2014 and found that it prompted a whole host of negative effects in me. Such as effecting my respect for women, distorting my self-worth, and taking up too much of my time and thoughts.
Pragmatically, however, I’ve concluded that with the way culture is right now, the hope or idea of me meeting someone organically…it’s not likely. I’m terrible at identifying “choosing signals,” I can’t tell the difference between shyness or fear so I stay away from both, and I don’t put myself out there. I’m not the kind of guy who takes up activities or goes to events with the main objective of finding someone. So to online dating, I’ll go.
While making up my mind to do this, I’ve asked people, men and women for their advice. Goes without saying, I’m a very different man from the 28-year-old I used to be. I have a greater understanding of the culture, I have more Red-Pilled Knowledge from other men’s experiences…and more importantly, I’m a committed Christian who’s read the entire Bible and believes in it.
But one thing constantly struck me when I talked to people, particularly women. When I say I’m a virgin, their jaws drop. They’re shocked and find it hard to believe. And usually, their first response isn’t “why”…it’s “how?!”…as if I avoided getting wet while walking through a torrential downpour with no umbrella.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I sat down to watch this documentary. I love documentaries. I love learning something new about history, about biographies, about events…But when it comes to sheer evil. Let’s just say…with clenched fists I watched this and had to keep whispering, “God will handle this. God will judge. God will punish them.”
For those who don’t know, in September of 1971, there was a full-scale riot at the Attica Correctional Facility in New York. Starting on the 9th, prisoners broke through a gate that had a loose bolt, and one of the first things they did was beat a correctional officer to death. Then they took hostages. They made demands. They called for lawyers, reforms, and better conditions.
On Monday, September 13th, 1971…a helicopter flew over dumping a cloud of tear gas into the yard before state police went in with a hail of gunfire, pretty much firing indiscriminately. People who were surrendering were shot and killed. Hostages were shot and killed. In total, 43 people were dead, over 80 wounded.
After that…and here’s where I really bite my lip and struggle to contain my rage…prisoners were stripped naked and subjected to some of the most inhumane torture imaginable. I don’t want to curse. I would encourage you to watch the documentary to see for yourself, but I confess…I do take umbrage with some of the decisions the producers took in putting this film together, as I’ll mention later.
Stage In The Sky 