We need to talk about how Christian Men are constantly being mocked and rejected by ladies who also claim to be Christians themselves. This is a problem.
By “Christian Men,” I’m not talking about the lukewarm Christians or those who are Christian-in-Name-Only. Those guys are fine. Women love those guys. I’m talking about the true God-fearing, Bible-Practicing Christians.
This essay is inspired by this video where multiple women criticize Christian men for being corny. One woman asked, “Why are Christian Men corny? Why don’t they have swag?”
On April 5, 2025, I got married to a woman who I met through the Dating Apps. And at the wedding, one of her invites, a father-figure who I now call, “Mr. Ribs,” kept telling me, “You know what, young man! You found a good wife. And the Bible says, he who finds a good wife, found a good thing and favor with the lord.”
He said this, not once, but about three times…As if I didn’t know. As if I wasn’t already fully aware that I am blessed and found that rare Proverbs 31 woman…as if, it wasn’t until he pointed it out, that I went, “Oh my god…you’re right!”
No, no, no, ladies and gentlemen. I’m not a “throw caution to the wind” kind of guy. I’ve had plenty of opportunities to get with many woman over my 38 years of life, but I chose Julia. Why? Because I recognized she was “wife material”. Allow me to explain…
Recently, Eboni K. Williams, a popular internet figure and former Real Housewife, created waves by announcing to the world that she chose to be a Single Mother via IVF.
That’s right. You read it correctly. She didn’t end up a single mother by mistake. She didn’t “choose the wrong guy.” She wasn’t the victim of some deadbeat or a guy who ended up cheating on her which led to her outcome as a single mother.
Eboni K. Williams willingly chose to bring a child into this world without a father. This is a problem.
Recently, Larry Elder was on a podcast where that question was put to him. And his reaction was surprising, because usually he’s on-point and articulate with giving the obvious answer.
Easy…Calm down. This one is just a casual conversation with some thought-provoking theories. I could be right or wrong. Let me know what you think.
A common complaint from a lot of ladies are that most of the Black Single men out there…we’re gay. To be honest, I’m not insulted or offended. To this day, some of my peers often assume that I’m gay because I haven’t had a date in some time. Not to mention, the way I talk, I smile a lot, I used to listen to kpop and Backstreet Boys, etc.
But more than that, I think I know why ladies would rather assume a man must be gay IF he’s not checking for her or approaching her in the gym or at the mall. Long story short, it’s about protecting their ego.
Recently, the Daily Rap Up Crew hosted Dr. Umar to discussed culture and relationships within the Black Community. Dr. Umar opines that Black Women have every reason to be angry at Black Men. Let’s talk about it…
Dr. Umar’s Points:
Black Men Should Only Be with Black Women
Black Women Can’t Talk to African Men the same Way the Talk to American Men
Black Men are Responsible for Single Parent Households
Black Men are Responsible for the “Poor Selection”
Black Men Don’t Provide for the Community
My issue with his points boils down to this. If Black Men are responsible for all that, do we also have the power and authority? Can we force others to do things against their will? Can we drag someone by the scruff of their neck or block them from entering a strip club? Can we go into homes and confiscate all the rap music and take it outside to burn them? Are we allowed to kick down doors and stop unmarried people from having sex?
I take this personally because I see what’s going on in the “Black Community”. We see that it’s getting progressively worse. WE KNOW that the main problem is the lack of families and the epidemic of single-parent households where children aren’t being raised with strong fathers in the household and the subsequent lack of Christianity…but exactly do they expect us to do?
We need to talk about what’s happening between Black Men and Black Women. I’m noticing that there seems to be a growing rift between the genders, a great deal of resentment and hostility that’s getting out of control. But don’t worry, I have solutions!
The issues have been going on for years and it’s getting progressively worse. From the “Color Purple” to “What’s Love Got to Do with it” and even in the 2000s with Tyler Perry’s Madea films…it appears we black men are simply not acting right. We’re players. We’re dusty. We hump everything that moves. We’re not making 6 figures. We’re not keeping up with the education and professional careers of women. We shirk out on our responsibilities, making a whole bunch of babies and never sticking around to take care of them. We’re told to do better, do better, do better! And of course, one of the worst things black men do that provokes all kinds of ire…is date and marry women of another race.
So…came across one of Melanie King’s videos where, once again, a lady’s confirming what a lot of guys have been saying about the dating culture these days. But don’t worry. I’m also going to hit at Male Leadership and why we as Christians need to stand firm.
In the beginning of the video, the soon-to-be divorced woman says, “you can’t dress a certain way and you can’t post sexy pictures on social media. But I dressed a certain way when I first met you!”…she says this to complain that her husband was “controlling”.
Couple of thoughts here. First, you could say that this is just who she is, sexual and sensual, and a man has no right to change her. “WOMEN AREN’T DRESSED TO IMPRESS YOU! WE DRESS LIKE THIS BECAUSE IT MAKES US HAPPY!”
Right, if you’re in that camp, this essay ain’t for you. I’m talking to the real ones out here who respect straight-forward honesty. I’m talking to the ladies who know they dress a certain way and posts pictures WITH THE INTENT of getting attention, attracting a mate. This doesn’t have to mean slutty or half-naked pictures…but come on. I’ve seen many of sistahs fully clothed in dresses that tell me everything I need to know and I’m like…
I was tricked! I was misled! They lied to me! Everybody makes mistakes! They gave me false hope! Deep within these statements is an acknowledgement that so many try to detach themselves from. If you were fooled…that means you were a fool. It means You messed up.
This is important to point out because if you don’t, you’re essentially saying there’s nothing (or very little) you could’ve done to avoid your situation in life. The purpose of this essay isn’t to belittle people, but to empower them. Not the social justice way where everything hinges on how everyone else treats you and whether or not they accept you…but to give you greater control of yourself, strengthening you to believe that whatever happens to you, is because of you.
Step one to change is awareness. This means calling out all the lies and helping you acknowledge the truth. The truth doesn’t always sound pleasant. So if it sounds like I’m “attacking you,” please believe that it’s out of love that I write these things. But when it comes to single mothers and children being born out of wedlock, this issue is something I find myself deeply passionate about.
And of course, I know have to tread with caution. I think a big reason why the harsh truths about this subject isn’t talked about so openly…is because it would mean criticizing a lot of people we may know, love, and care about, especially in the black community. A lot of us were raised by strong single mothers. Our sisters and cousins are single mothers. We’d sooner hurt ourselves than intentionally cause them pain, such as talking about this touchy subject. But if we don’t talk about it because we’re so afraid of hurting people’s feelings…how will things ever change? Do we have any right to complain when none of us lifts a finger or says a word to point out what we need to be doing? So here I go…
Stage In The Sky 