The Best Medicine for Violent Thoughts…

Posted by Rock Kitaro on November 8, 2019
Posted in: About the Author. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

I can’t remember the last time I literally wanted to track down the guy who disrespected me and punch him in the face. Ego, pride, and rage took over. All of them, grinning with clenched fists. All of them saying at once, “who do you think you’re talking to? Don’t you know what I can do to you?”

Lion 7

Yesterday, it was like that. I’ve been so careful to avoid putting myself in such situations. I smiled and presented the civility of a gentleman, but on the inside violent thoughts ran through my mind all day. Even on the treadmill, I thought of the toughest martial artists I follow on Instagram and kicking the crap out of all of them.

I knew it was wrong. I knew I shouldn’t be like that. I knew I should be more forgiving and simply put trust in God. But it really does feel good to indulge on thoughts of revenge. Ever since I was a kid, getting back at people who crossed me, brought me the sweetest pleasure. The greatest satisfaction in the world. I thought I had grown out of all that. But yesterday I was tested…and sure enough the lion is still there. It’s chained up, but it’s still there.

Then…as per usual, it’s like God sees me, like a Heavenly father watching a petulent child kicking cans because things didn’t go his way…and he sent me someone remarkable.

Last night, whilst grocery shopping at a family-friendly Walmart, an older gentleman with a soft voice greeted me with a brochure about Jehovah’s Witnesses. Right away, I smiled. Right away, I recognized what was happening. God was reaching out to me.

I really was pressed for time (it was getting late) so I had a hurried convo with him about religion as I finished shopping. And when I started loading up my car, he walked over and introduced me to his wife.

I couldn’t believe it. It was like a punch in the guts, me complaining and wallowing in my problems. His wife, his beautiful wife has been deaf her entire life. She lost her ability to see 14 years ago and He was only able to communicate to her by using his fingers to draw into her palm and bring her hand to his head and lips. It was such an endearing sight. I’ll never forget it.

Ironically…it made me even more angrier…at myself. The shame. What was I complaining about? This world is temporary. The problems of this world, ephemeral. Yeah, it’d be nice not to have problems and disputes come up in the first place, but still…compared to my brothers and sisters here and around the globe…God has been good to me.

I told the man that I’ll certainly hope and pray for the day she sees him again in the Kingdom of Heaven. Such faith…such commitment to another in marriage, this is valor. My greatest respect will always go to those who marry once and for the rest of their lives. Because this is my dream as well.

Perhaps, in the end this was just what I needed. Perhaps I needed such a reminder and that lion inside needed to be pricked. It could have been worse…the guy who disrespected me could have done it in person instead of over the phone. Even today, I feel like a different person. More determined not to let the little things get to me. As If I’m kneeling right there next to the lion, petting his mane and whispering, “…patience….calm…forgive them…”

Hahaha! Maybe none of this makes sense. I dunno.

XXVIII. Post-Graduation Blues, Yoko Kanno and Ghost in the Shell

Posted by Rock Kitaro on November 1, 2019
Posted in: About the Author, kpop. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

In May of 2009, I had just graduated, just got fired, and was on the verge of starting over by moving back in with my parents. To me, that would have been failure. Brace yourself…a lot of personal revelations in this one.

Cowboy Bebop 3

In the last chapter, you saw my elation, such triumph and joy at the debut of 2NE1. But by June 1st, 2009…my life wasn’t going so great. In March, I was 22 and had just graduated from a tumultuous four years of film school and landed a job with an up-and-coming start-up company. Haha, so without going into so many details, turns out this company was run by gamblers and con-artists. I’m not lying.

In the beginning, I thought everyone was so cool and everything ran like a well-oiled machine. I was hired as a video editor and a content producer. But one thing led to another and I eventually learned that one of my bosses wasn’t who he said he was. The man claimed to be one of the founders of Myspace. He was eventually fired, and my new boss (the gambler) started writing me bad checks that would bounce.

In May of 2009, I flew to Colorado to attend my cousin’s graduation and while there, my boss called me over the phone and fired me, accusing me of theft. I’m no thief. He only fired me because I threatened to file a lawsuit against him for writing bad checks.

And so…in June of 2009 for the first time since I was 16, I was without a job. My future seemed uncertain. I barely had enough to pay one more month of rent and that was it. These were sad days, but I’m not the type to sit on my thumbs and say, “whatever happens, happens.” In the end, I had made up my mind to leave Florida, pack up what I could, and move back into my parent’s house in Georgia in July. Basically, to start all over.

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This decision wasn’t easy. As a young man full of pride, moving back into my parent’s house was like admitting defeat, that I couldn’t cut it in the real world on my own. But pragmatically, it was the best decision. Moving back in with my parents would allow me to get another job, save up without paying rent, and then I could head out to Los Angeles and pursue a career as a screenwriter. This was my thinking.

With my mind made up, I spent most of June 2009…writing. Every day, I’d wake up and go to my school’s library to write. And the music that got me through these tough times was none other than a lesser known Japanese composer who goes by the name of Yoko Kanno.

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XXVII. When 2NE1 Debuted with Fire…

Posted by Rock Kitaro on October 25, 2019
Posted in: kpop, music. Tagged: , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Then…there was 2NE1…

If you’ve been reading up to this point, then you know that ever since 2006, I’ve been firmly in the camp of YG Entertainment thanks to Big Bang. I witnessed their debut, I saw their adversity and watched as they continued to improve and breakthrough with mainstream success following the release of “Lies” in 2007.

2NE1 2

By 2009, it’s safe to say Big Bang was now the top dog in S. Korea’s music scene. DBSK was still around, 2pm was up-and-coming, and Super Junior had just released a monster hit in “Sorry Sorry…” But Big Bang had established themselves as champions when they destroyed the stage in 2008’s year-end showdown.

So when YG announced the debut of an up-and-coming sister group…everyone was on the edge of their seats. YG had other female artists in their retinue like Big Mama, Gummy, and Lexy…but the agency wasn’t known for their female acts. I think everyone was wondering what YG would produce. Not to mention there was already widespread speculation that this group would merely be a female version of Big Bang. But still…would that a bad thing?

On March 27, 2009, the world was introduced to four energetic and wildly charismatic females when YG released “Lollipop”. It was brilliant. It’s like YG heard the rumors of 2NE1 merely being a girl version of Big Bang and was like…“so what are you gonna do about it.”

To be honest though…I wasn’t particularly blown away by their contributions in that song. I liked it because of Big Bang’s vocals. Taeyang, Daesung, and Seungri killed it. Not to mention, we were starting to get a glimpse of the producer, Teddy Park’s signature sound that would ultimately play the biggest role in 2NE1’s success. But despite my lackluster approval…I knew it. I knew 2NE1 would be superstars, not because they were with YG, not because they were following in Big Bang’s wake…but because of their lead vocalists who’s voice could’ve crushed the competition if she appeared on “American Idol” or “The Voice.”

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Park Bom was her name. And before I heard of 2NE1, I had already heard of Park Bom. Any Big Bang fan would’ve. It was her voice that sang the chorus of one of Big Bang’s early hits, “We Belong Together.”

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Gladys Vandelay – For the Living (Short Story)

Posted by Rock Kitaro on October 23, 2019
Posted in: Original Stories, Paramour Letters. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Anna Marie and Gladys are terrorists on the run…but its not the government they fear. They betrayed a deadly society of feminists. The Swords of St. Catherine have come for payback.

For the Living 1

Lightning from Final Fantasy XIII

 

I opened my eyes to a gray ceiling fan with cracks in the wood. Everything looked old, as if the house was taken straight from a post-civil war documentary. The windows were milky and stained. The dresser looked like a device for splinters. My bed was twin size with a rusty iron headboard. Even my pillow was stuffed with real feathers. I could feel the stems pricking through the pillowcase, scratching at my neck.

My bullet wounds were patched up. Someone had sewn me shut and dressed me in a faded pink nightgown. There was a table on the other side of the room with a pitcher and two tin cups. I was thirsty like you wouldn’t believe, so I got up.

Anyone wondering if I was awake wouldn’t have to wonder long. I was so weak. My bones felt brittle. As soon as I tried to stand, I crumbled to the floor with this wooden crash that probably sounded much louder than it was. The problem was, I couldn’t hear anyone else. I was on the second floor and sound carried.

Not wanting to break anything, I hugged the wall and hobbled to the table like an old woman. There was nothing in the pitcher. I expected water.

Timed perfectly with my groan was a howling wind that rustled through the last leaves of a withering tree just outside my window. And through the branches, I saw the distant figure of Anna Marie all dressed in black. She was deep in the woods and her long hair shrouded her face, but I knew it was her. I grabbed sheets from the bed, wrapped up, and left.

The Perennial War of Paramours
Gladys Vandelay – For the Living
By Rock Kitaro

…

In the downstairs kitchen was a family of African-Americans. A mother, a father, and three toddlers. They were all so quiet as fuck that it creeped me out. I could sense the feeling was mutual. They stared like I was a ghost wandering the halls. No one said anything, not even so much as a greeting.

Finally, I just shuffled over to their breakfast table and grabbed about four strips of bacon. “Thank you.” I whispered before scurrying off. But of course, my bed sheets got caught on the crease in the floorboard. I tripped, scraping my knees and the children laughed. I whipped around to see which ones, but only caught the tail end of the mother snapping her fingers at them.

“Who are you people?” I asked.

“The owners of the house you’re staying in.” the father told me.

“I don’t suppose you have a name?”

“Just call me the caretaker.”

I squinted at him. “Did you put me in this nightgown?”

The mother rolled her neck with spiked brows, a matrimonial warning, not worth ignoring. So I threw up my hands and whispered, “Sorry.” Continue Reading

Godly Men Don’t Care About Money – A Theocratic Essay

Posted by Rock Kitaro on October 16, 2019
Posted in: Food for Thought, religion. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

Last month, I read an article where men were blamed for the decline of the marriage rate. Aside from the plethora of reasons raised over the past five years about how horrible we men are, this one had me taken aback…The complaint of the day is that “Men are not economically attractive.”

RAin in Club

Godly Men Don’t Care About Money – A Theocratic Essay
By Rock Kitaro
Date – October 14th, 2019

And I know what you’re thinking…

“There are rich, Godly men out here. I’m Christian, and I care about money. I’m God-fearing and I care about money, so what’s good?”

Don’t worry. I’m going to get into it. We live in a society. We all need money to live comfortably. However, I encourage you to consider Proverbs 30: 8-9, and then watch this video to see what I’m talking about.

It really does make me smirk because I get it. If you’re a woman, you have every right to seek men of equal or greater economic value. Everyone has a right to their sexual preference. Go for it. Why not?

Just one question though…if you’re one of those women who were taught to put so much emphasis on your education to get that high paying job, then you battled it out for years to attain said job, and now you’re out here making that high five-figure or even a six-figure salary…what are the odds of you actually finding someone of equal or greater economic value…who also happens to be single, of good moral fortitude, and interested in someone like you? I say that with affection, I assure you. I’ve had to ask myself the same questions, given my own circumstances.

“Yeah? Well, maybe men simply need to get right. Men need to step it up.”

“Why should they?”

Honestly, if a man is loving life with his 40k salary, why should he “step it up” to make himself have equal or greater value just because someone else seems to care more about having a higher salary than him? Even when I was 27, my ex would constantly be on me to apply for other jobs in my company because they paid more. And when I’d tell her, “No, I love what I’m doing. I don’t think I’d be happy with those role.” she’d seem disappointed.

“Well, Rock. Maybe she’s thinking about a family and knows that you’ll need as much money as you can to raise them!“

That’s a valid argument. Truly, it is. I don’t blame her for making those kind suggestions when it came to my career growth. In fact, my own parents will tell you that it’s been my philosophy to work as hard as I could in my 20s to create a stable financial foundation for my future family…

But a lots changed in the past five years. My priorities have shifted. I picked up the Bible and cultivated a strong relationship with God. I learned the Truth that I feel compelled to share with you. But first things first…I got to get you thinking. If you’re not used to thinking, it’s alright. Take your time. There’s nothing to be ashamed of when you’ve been told your whole life what to think and how to think it. Baby steps. You’re reading the words of a rebel, the path I walk is narrow.

…

Have you ever stopped to consider why you’re doing anything that you’re doing? What’s the point? What are you getting in return? Why put yourself through such an ordeal? For what? I get that sometimes you have to do what you don’t want to do in order to succeed, but is it worth your peace and happiness? You only get 60-80 years and that’s it. We’re only tenants on this earth. When we die, we take nothing with us, except the deeds by which we will all be judged.

What I think it boils down to, is that women like the ones addressed in that video, are disappointed not because men are “poorer,” but because men don’t value the same things the women value. This should make sense because men and women are different, but alas…this is the reality the mainstream media is trying so hard to deny. And if they’re wrong about this…what else are they wrong about? If they’re wrong, then who’s right? Continue Reading

XXVI. Early 2009: Untouchable and Super Junior’s Sorry Sorry

Posted by Rock Kitaro on October 15, 2019
Posted in: kpop, music. Tagged: , , , , , , . Leave a comment

The beginning of 2009 jumped out to a great start. I was still reeling from that awesome showdown between Big Bang and DBSK at the SBS year-end events and the hits kept on coming. I think it was simply the trend where hip hop and pop blended smooth electronica in their songs that made them all so unforgettable.

This chapter’s gonna show you a myriad of artists, so strap yourselves in. We go from TBNY, to Untouchables, an up-and-coming solo act named AJ and rounding it out with Super Junior’s breakout hit that would eventually become their most successful song. All of it went down in the first quarter of 2009.

This was back when Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” and Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face” was on replay non-stop. Even with me, a man who didn’t listen to the radio or kept up with American pop culture, I couldn’t escape it whether I was out at the gym or at this internet start-up company where I was an intern. Man, you couldn’t escape it. That’s not to complain though. Say what you want about Lady Gaga, “Poker Face” got in your blood. Your head will bob, no matter what you’re doing.

Those were good times. I only had three months of college before graduating, I just started practicing Wing Chun with a legit sifu. And as per usual, what made it all memorable, was the music I discovered.

In the last chapter, I discussed Big Bang’s collaborative performance with a hip hop group called Dynamic Duo. It was the first I had heard of Dynamic Duo and was impressed. Thus, I was more open to solo and underground hip hop acts. The first I discovered, was a hip hop duo called TBNY.

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Big Bang vs. DBSK – Two of the Greatest Battle It Out

Posted by Rock Kitaro on October 1, 2019
Posted in: kpop, music. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , . 3 Comments

Once upon a time in the entertainment industry, we had these things called rivalries. Tupac vs Biggie. Backstreet Boys vs Nsync. Britney Spears vs Christina Aguilera. Hell, we even had the Jacksons vs the Osmonds for the old heads out there. And in South Korea…there was Big Bang vs DBSK.

big-bang-dbsk

There’s nothing wrong with having a rival. Without worthy adversaries, life becomes boring, even if your rival is yourself. For us spectators, there’s nothing more exciting than seeing worthy adversaries go head to head. It keeps us engage, invested. And back in 2008…there was a once in a lifetime clash between the two greatest Korean groups of my generation.

Out of SM Entertainment’s corner comes the current heavyweight champion of the kpop music industry, debuting in 2004 and going on to dominate the charts, even carving out a name for themselves in the Japanese markets. I give you none other than DBSK!

And out of YG Entertainment’s corner comes the challenger, debuting in 2006, overcoming much adversity before dropping the groundbreaking hit, “Lies,” these talented vocalists/rappers have created waves not only in the music industry, but in shaping fashion and cultural trends, here, we have Big Bang!

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There’s Something about What Jesus Said Last Night…

Posted by Rock Kitaro on September 12, 2019
Posted in: religion, rock kitaro. Tagged: , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

One of the coolest thing about reading the Gospels every night, is that it’s gotten to the point where I can literally say, “There was something about what Jesus said last night…” I just went for a walk on break and I smiled. Because his words were on my mind. And I love thinking about it!

It’s like having the most dependable friend in the world right here with me. Someone I can talk to and hear from every day. He’ll never abandon me. He’ll never betray me. He’s there when I’m down and out and he’s there in my triumph. Some one I can talk to, unburden myself, ask for guidance, and then receive it by reading the scriptures.

Honestly, I think that’s one of the coolest things about the Bible. My older brother said it best years ago. When I told him that I prayed every day. He told me, “It’s great that you talk to God, but don’t you want to hear what he has to say to you? Wouldn’t it be cool if he talked to you too?”

Last night, in Matthew Chapter 15, Jesus talked about it’s not what enters the mouth that defiles you, but what comes out of it, the product of the heart. I know I have all kinds of twisted and messed up thoughts. So I wondered if that meant my heart was no good. But in thinking about what he said and how he dealt with that Canaanite woman in the same chapter, I’ve come to the conclusion that…the fact that I have such impulses and horrid thoughts, but don’t act on them, that I restrain myself…it shows that clearly there’s more goodness in my heart than wickedness.

And all I can do is continue to try and get better. So that, doing what’s good to the best of my abilities gets easier and easier. #jesus #bible

 

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Rock Kitaro at your Service

XXIV. The Original Beastly Idols – 2pm (JYP’s answer)

Posted by Rock Kitaro on September 10, 2019
Posted in: kpop, music. Tagged: , , , , , , . Leave a comment

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August of 2008 was awesome for more reasons than one. Big Bang just came out with their “Stand Up” mini-album and even Shinee and the Wonder Girls were still throwing down. But on August 29, 2008, a new challenger entered the stage. They went by the name of 2pm.

When, I first heard about 2pm there was a lot of hype. First off, they boasted about their masculinity, which was a jab at the other idol groups as I mentioned in my chapter “Big Bang vs. The Flower Boys.” 2pm would become known as the “beastly idols” for bearing their muscular physique and pulling off some difficult choreography, backflips and handsprings galore.

2pm 6

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Additionally, 2pm was formed and produced by JYP of JYP Entertainment, the same man behind the Wonder Girls and Rain. The anticipation was palpable. It was JYP’s first boyband since G.O.D and…I hope I’m not overstepping any bounds by saying this, but it does seem like having a boyband was a staple of prominence when it comes to Korean pop culture. You could have a soloist, a band, or even a girl group…but until you’ve locked down a solid boyband…it seems like you just couldn’t compete as an entertainment company.

Despite all of this, I confess, when I first heard 2pm’s “10 Out of 10” I really didn’t think much of them. I mean, they were clearly awesome dancers and they had the swag to compete on the same level of Shinee, who had debuted just a few months prior. But their singing…I didn’t think there was anything remarkable about them. Their voices were average, their rappers were sub-par, and if any of them were to go solo, I didn’t think they stood a chance on their own. And then…it was just by chance that I saw their live performance of “Only You.”

There’s something about that song and performance that made 2pm stand out to me. It wasn’t until I saw this performance that I thought… “Okay, these guys could be a threat to Big Bang.”

And I say that with a smile. I’m one of those who fully believes in rivalries bringing the best out of competitors. “10 Out of 10” was okay…but “Only You” showed their versatility, meaning they weren’t only capable of producing a mainstream track, but creating something new. Continue Reading

Anna Marie – The Cult (Short Story)

Posted by Rock Kitaro on September 6, 2019
Posted in: Original Stories, Paramour Letters. Tagged: , , , , , , , , . Leave a comment

The Andalusian recalls how she was recruited by the Swords of St. Catherine, a deadly society of underground feminists. She used to be carefree and spirited. Living life to the fullest. But when she kills her would-be rapist, everything changes.

The Cult

Anna Marie – The Cult
By Rock Kitaro

My life begins every time he dies and I’m getting sick of it. I thought he was dead. I thought I had killed him. This time I know he’s not coming back. I suppose the only solace stems from the fact that he finally learned the truth. The truth is, I loved him. I’ll always love him. That’s all there is to it.

I don’t want everyone to know all about my family upbringing or whatever. It’s nobody’s business. So I’m going to skip all that.

I met Marcus in my early twenties. We worked together in the same building, at the same company, an up-and-coming media outlet focusing on entertainment. He was a journalist writing op-ed pieces on the ever-changing culture, while I made my bones on the forecast projections of upcoming album and box office sales. I heard he gave me credit for how much I changed him, inspiring him to grow. I suppose I should do the same.

…

I dunno… Marcus was really shitty at small talk. I think our first conversation was about God. That’s how deep and straight to the point he was. It was kind of annoying at first. I thought it was creepy and invasive. I was like, “who the hell are you that I should tell you all these deep and personal things?”

But after a while, I dunno. It kinda grew on me. I found myself thinking about crap I never would’ve even considered.

He talked about stuff like North Korea or the slave trade in Africa that still persists to this day. And when he spoke, he was so full of passion. Like, he honestly cared, as if he had a family member there or some stake in the matter. It was a spectacle, actually. Always so dramatic and full of histrionics. Caught myself smiling a couple of times. He’d notice, turn and blush. If black people could blush. Then he’d ask for my opinion. I wouldn’t have one. I just enjoyed listening. But he encouraged me to think. He was in my head. That’s how the bastard got me.

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