We need to talk about how Christian Men are constantly being mocked and rejected by ladies who also claim to be Christians themselves. This is a problem.
By “Christian Men,” I’m not talking about the lukewarm Christians or those who are Christian-in-Name-Only. Those guys are fine. Women love those guys. I’m talking about the true God-fearing, Bible-Practicing Christians.
This essay is inspired by this video where multiple women criticize Christian men for being corny. One woman asked, “Why are Christian Men corny? Why don’t they have swag?”
Yesterday, on April 5th 2025…I got married to a woman I found on a Dating App! In my last two posts, I detailed the many failed attempts I had with women I met online. But by the grace of God…I knew Julia was wife material and it didn’t take years for me to figure it out. Let’s talk about it.
Hopefully this will encourage others to be patient, trust in God, and use your best discernment. I’m 38-years-old. Julia is 30. Good men and women are out there. We’re just rare and not many qualify for us, if I may be so bold to say so myself.
I found Julia’s Match.com profile on May 5th 2024, while I was still talking to Crystal. If you’ll recall from my failed Matches, Crystal was the single mother who originally ghosted me, but came back after a month to see if she could make things work with me.
Recently, the boxer known as Gervonta “Tank” Davis converted to Islam and took on the name of Abdul Wahid. Some people claimed he was doing it for clout. But I dunno. Even as a Christian, I’d be lying if I didn’t say there are some enticing reasons to convert to Islam.
Points Discussed
Christians Give Christians a Bad Name
They Defend their Faith
Muslim Women Respect the Men
They Embrace the Patriarchy
Men Need Purpose
Brotherhood
Test of Faith
First off, I want to make it clear that the purpose of this essay isn’t to talk bad or disrespect Muslims or Islam. The crux of this post, as is with most of my essays…is to call upon other Christians to repent.
Now right there, you might be scratching your head a bit. If we call ourselves Christians, why do we need to repent? I thought that being a Christian means that we have already repented. So, what gives?
Very often, the thing that silences a lot of Christians from speaking up and calling out bad behavior, is the fact that they themselves are sinners too. So what are we to do? Is no one allowed to say anything, because we’ve all been bad? I don’t think so.
Here, we have a rapper named Holy Gabbana calling out Lil Nas X for titling himself a “Christian” all while promoting, celebrating, and encouraging homosexuality and un-Christian behavior. By “Christian Behavior,” I’m referring to the action of being a follower of Christ. Anyone can claim to be a Christian. But actually adhering to the standards Christ and his Apostles laid out, that’s the behavior we’re talking about here.
“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” – 1 John 2:15
“If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” – John 15:19
Yesterday (Tuesday Oct 10, 2023), a 60-year-old co-worker I’ve known for years…she’s someone I enjoy teasing and is almost like a mother figure to me. She said, “Rock, you’re so contradicting. You’re supposed to be this Christian, but it seems like you really don’t like people.”
She said this upon hearing how I am in my boxing class. I pick the heavy bag that’s away from everyone else with my back turned to others so it’s easier for me to focus and not worry about what everyone else is doing. She also knows that I don’t like crowds or social events where all you do is just socialize.
I explained, “I love and care about people as Christ tells us, but…it’s not that I hate people. It’s just disappointing. It’d be like if my brother was a thief who robs and steals. I still love my brother, but I’d be disappointed with him. It’d probably bother me if I hung out with him and all he did was brag about his things…things I know he bought with stolen money.”
Recently, the Daily Rap Up Crew hosted Dr. Umar to discussed culture and relationships within the Black Community. Dr. Umar opines that Black Women have every reason to be angry at Black Men. Let’s talk about it…
Dr. Umar’s Points:
Black Men Should Only Be with Black Women
Black Women Can’t Talk to African Men the same Way the Talk to American Men
Black Men are Responsible for Single Parent Households
Black Men are Responsible for the “Poor Selection”
Black Men Don’t Provide for the Community
My issue with his points boils down to this. If Black Men are responsible for all that, do we also have the power and authority? Can we force others to do things against their will? Can we drag someone by the scruff of their neck or block them from entering a strip club? Can we go into homes and confiscate all the rap music and take it outside to burn them? Are we allowed to kick down doors and stop unmarried people from having sex?
I take this personally because I see what’s going on in the “Black Community”. We see that it’s getting progressively worse. WE KNOW that the main problem is the lack of families and the epidemic of single-parent households where children aren’t being raised with strong fathers in the household and the subsequent lack of Christianity…but exactly do they expect us to do?
For this one, I had to get my thoughts down about Will Smith. I didn’t speak up or publish any essays about the Will Smith/Chris Rock slap when it first happened because everyone was talking about it. But for this, I want to focus on the perspective of young black men “like myself” (not ALL black men) and why we were especially upset/disappointed with Will Smith.
Just a heads up, I’m very critical of Black Culture in this video and I talk about Christianity towards the end.
In 2008, I was 21-years-old and still a novice to life and the way of the world. One of the many things I claimed ignorance to…was the significance of hip hop. The appeal of it was lost on me.
Even when I was a kid, I wasn’t very fond of hip hop music. It felt like every asshole and bully I’ve ever met was influenced by hip hop. They called me names and picked on me, and the one thing they all had in common was their love for hip hop, the culture, the music, the fashion. Even in pre-school, I remember two girls who used to attack me while singing, “Momma Said Knock You Out!”
So yeah…I hated it.
And probably the main reason why I hated it so much was because it seemed like there was something wrong with me for not liking it. As a black kid growing up in the south, it was unheard of. Everyone else was into Tupac and Biggie and the Wu-Tang clan…meanwhile this chubby light-skin kid over here who was super emotional and threw temper tantrums was into groups like the Backstreet Boys and Nsync.
I couldn’t help it. I tried. As a kid who wanted to make my dad happy and fit in with the rest of the other kids, I tried so hard to fall in love with hip hop. But to my ears, it was just garbage. It didn’t move me. I couldn’t relate to what they were talking about nor could I grasp the gifts they possessed. That’s not just with hip hop, but also R&B. It just didn’t do anything for me. Felt inadequate. So I wanted nothing to do with that world.
Flash forward to 2008…and suddenly I’m listening to hip hop acts like Drunken Tiger and 1TYM. Doesn’t make sense does it? Do I really hate the English language so much?
The answer is yes and no. Allow me to explain. The answer is “yes,” in that I can’t stand lyrics that glorify and encourage bad behavior. This sounds a bit contradictory considering I listened to Slipknot or Dir En Grey, but life’s like that.
Personally, it hurts my soul when I hear of black on black violence, of gang violence. I’ve seen friends get jumped for the sake of fun. I’ve seen fights where a dude got the shit kicked out of him just because the other guy wanted to show how hardcore he was. You can tell me all day that hip hop music isn’t to blame for this, the glorification of thug culture, leading to more children being born out of wedlock, the seeking of money and materialistic things.
Yes…there was a deep resentment for hip hop back then. Still is in some ways. But the difference between now and then is that I understand it. Much like I understand how one would be driven to theft or robbery if they feel that’s the only choice they have to survive. Doesn’t make it alright. But at least I understand. Proverbs 30: 7-9, tells us not to want riches or poverty. If you get too rich you may be tempted to stop depending on God. If you get too poor, it could lead to you profaning the name of God. (by breaking his commandments just to survive)
The answer is also “no”…in that I didn’t dislike American hip hop solely because of its lyrical content…I just never had a gateway to it.
For instance, it’s not like I just rolled out of bed and liked head-banging metal music. Nah. I liked action films. I was obsessed with martial arts that often had a rock soundtrack. Even my favorite Michael Jackson songs as a child had the sickest guitar riffs in it. Ever heard of “Beat It?” Or Dirty Diana? Or Black or White.
The best of “Black or White” for me was the break down where Michael Jackson’s walking through the flames. That’s metal! So when I discovered Slipknot…I was like… “Hell yes! An entire track where the whole song is the favorite part of another song!? Yes, please. I’ll take more of that.”
I didn’t have a positive gateway into hip hop growing up. It was always negative, as I mentioned. So why in the hay would I want to hear more of that?
By early 2008 however…I believe a gateway had manifested from the kpop I listened to. Hahaha! I honestly didn’t even realize it. These theories I’m typing now (in 2019) I wouldn’t fully understand it till later. For well over a year, I’d been listening to songs from H.O.T. and NRG that features heavy rap sections from the members. I’ve been listening to Big Bang that had TOP and G-Dragon spitting lyrics, albeit to dance tracks, not exactly authentic hip hop.
Stage In The Sky 