Let me begin by saying this is just a theory…I’m open to the fact that I may be wrong. You’re more than welcome to tell me how ignorant or clueless I am. At the very least, it’ll cheer you up if you’re alone on Valentine’s Day!

It is my opinion that we as human beings have an ability to sense how others are feeling. It’s called empathy. We can tell when someone else is happy, or sad, or when they’re afraid or angry…And I also think that without even saying a word, we can sense when another person is attracted to you. It’s an electricity that flashes at first sight and usually takes a few seconds of acclimation before we can hold a conversation without sounding like gushing children.
The Dark Side of Sexual Tension – A Theory
By Rock Kitaro
Date – February 13, 2020
But that attraction is still there until something kills it…like me saying something stupid or doing something disturbing. I think when we’re younger, this skill isn’t so refined. We have a general sense, but it can be misconstrued with someone just being nice or kind to you. It takes years or experience to hone and refine it.
But once you’ve stumbled and been through enough trial and errors, you’re good. People will try to gas-light you and say it’s all in your head, that nobody’s thinking about you or call you self-centered or narcissistic…and it may be true depending on who you are, because the skill level varies from person to person. But once you’re confident in your ability, you have to stay strong in your confidence. You have to know you’re good so when people doubt you, it doesn’t even make you mad or cause you to second-guess yourself.
You know the truth. Just keep it to yourself. Because if others find out that you know…well, there’s the reason why we have blinds and closed doors. They want their privacy. And even if they’re not so good at containing their emotions or subduing the tells that giveaway their feelings for you, they still value their privacy.
All that said…he’s my theory: Sometimes, People will mentally make an enemy and hold animosity towards another person they’re attracted to, due to a personal conflict in which it’s a problem to be attracted to that person. They either deny the attraction. Secretly entertain the idea of indulging in scenarios they never talk about. Or they self-project, as if it’s the other person who’s sending out all the signals while they themselves are innocent…almost like a defense mechanism. The self-projection is either to protect their self-esteem, their goals, their own sexuality (such as same-sex attraction), or to protect the relationship they’re already in. Maybe even more. All because they haven’t come to terms with how they feel about the other person.
September 2009 was a dark chapter in K-Pop history.

Up to this point, the worst I had seen was the breakup of DBSK when JYJ went their separate way. But DBSK had been in the game since 2004. 2pm was still relatively new, only having debuted in September of 2008.
By all accounts, 2pm was considered a top contender to be one of the best in the industry. Hailing from JYP Entertainment, they came from the same label as the immensely popular Wonder Girls. They had just released “Again in Again” in early 2009. They were appearing on variety shows and winning all kinds of fans with their charm, talent, and diversity as Korea’s first “beastly idols”.

Jay Park
Then…Jay Park, Jaebeom as he was referred to back then…Jay Park left the group. Fellow member Taecyeon once described it as the worse day of his life. So much drama happened in the span of a few months but to a fan such as myself, it’s like it all happened in an instance. And when 2pm returned to the scene, they were no longer seven members, but six. The song they released seemed all too fitting to describe, not only their anguish, but the anguish of their fans. It was called “Heartbeat”.
So let’s back up. Here’s what happened…
I’m not attracted to unnecessary drama and conflict. If you project the image of someone who has an attitude or constantly confrontational, you’re going to attract people of that nature. It’s as simple as that. And believe it or not, there are people who would prefer the thrilling emotional roller coaster ride of an unstable relationship, as opposed to a stable (predictable) peaceful one. Even if they don’t realize it.
You attract the energy you put out. I know this sounds nice and catchy, but I don’t think people really understand what it means. This here essay is inspired by some of the most beautiful women I see on Instagram and Youtube videos like the one below…They aren’t celebrities. Just people blessed with beauty. And yet the attitude they project make them so unappealing in the eyes of men like me.
“It’s just a performance, Rock. These girls aren’t like this in real life.”
You’re talking to an artist. With every decision we make in creating our art, there’s always a reason why. There’s always a motive. If you think I’m overthinking it, I can just as easily say you haven’t thought about it enough.
The energy they’re putting out is sex. Like all they want to do is get sex. And if you put out that energy, guess what kind of men you’re going to get. Men who only want sex. And then they wonder why the men they’re attracting have a tendency to sleep around on them.
Growing up, some of the most unpleasant experiences I had with the opposite sex came in the heat of an argument where there was usually a lot of yelling, accusations, and name calling. There was a lot of attitude, malice, and resentment. Feelings were hurt. I’d usually walk away and want nothing more to do with the person. Of course, tempers would simmer and we’d usually talk it out and come to some kind of resolution…but as a sane rational man, I didn’t enjoy those heated confrontations. They weren’t pleasant.
So why do some women think displaying such attitudes will attract a good man? Who told them that this is what men want?
Put it this way, if you posted photos of identical twin sisters…which do you think a good man would go for, the photo of the twin who’s projecting a fierce “sexy” attitude…or the identical twin who’s smiling like she’s happy to see you? Which would you choose? I’m sorry, let me reiterate. Which would you be more likely to spend the rest of your life with?


And if you’re the type of guy who’d be like, “I’d still hit the one with the lion. She looks like fun.” Be real. Ask yourself, “which are you more likely to approach?” Especially in today’s MeToo society.

In the fall of 2009, while rookie groups like BEAST and MBLAQ were going toe-to-toe, one mustn’t overlook the significant contributions from other artists that seemed to resonate with the beauty that comes along with the fall and winter seasons. I’m talking about the likes of Superstar K’s Seo-in-Guk, U-Kiss, Wheesung, Hwanhee, and Taeyang. Let’s get it.
This trend of releasing melodic sounds, it seems to carry over the years. The summer is full of club bangers and school anthems. But when the leaves start to brown and the wind turns chill, when the sweaters come out, that’s when the laid back hits start to wash over.
In the fall of 2009, several interesting things happened. First, this was around the time that I became a regular on a relatively new website devoted to kpop called Allkpop. These days, Allkpop is the standard by which everyone goes to for the latest and greatest news coming from South Korean entertainment. For the most part, it seems reliable and trustworthy… “seems”.
Back then, in 2009, I had to take it with a grain of salt. Allkpop was reliable when it came to publishing the release dates, the music videos, and teasers for my favorite artists. The downside, was that Allkpop was extremely biased back in the day and they know it. If you read my chapters about DBSK and Casseiopeia, then you’d understand. That fandom was real. And anyone who threatened the popularity of DBSK and SM Entertainment artists was a threat. That threat was none other than Big Bang.
Thus, if you go back and check out some of their articles released before 2009, you get a lot of trash talking where they’re straight up dissing Big Bang and YG artists. They may have deleted a lot of it, but I’m telling you it was real. Even when G-Dragon came out with his solo album that was undeniably good, the Allkpop author writing an article about it would give their two-cents where they’d give some credit, with backhanded criticism. Kind of like the news does with Pres. Trump these days. Where they’ll say, “Pres. Trump condemns white supremacists, but refuses to change gun laws…” He did something good…but he’s still bad. That effect.
4-MEN – Knock Knock Knock
However, Allkpop would get better as they came along. I think they took notice of the comments and how a lot of us were dissing the Allkpop writers for their unwarranted criticism of our favorite artists. Gradually, they realized that while DBSK had more fans internationally (out of the states), domestically and within the U.S., we mostly favored the sound of Big Bang and 2NE1. If you don’t want to lose readers, you gotta curb your hate and cater to them. So that’s what Allkpop did. Continue Reading
One of the worse causes of depression among my generation is this notion that we have to keep experiencing new things, that we should never be content, that we should always put ourselves outside of our comfort zones.

Is that the way it’s always been? Back before psychology was a thing. Before Freud and the practice of therapy, is that what the average human strove for?
Here’s what I think is happening. It’s just like in high school where the cool kids think they know best. Where the majority of the student body looks up to the popular kids and want to emulate them. We thought we left that culture behind upon graduation, but thanks to social media where the lifestyles and opinions of celebrities and public figures are instantly made available, we’re stuck. They’ve influenced normal people. Normal people emulate them. And then those normal people blast their lifestyles on social media to their friends and family, showing off how much fun they’re having in life through pictures and posts.
None of this should be a bad thing, if humans were content with life. There’s nothing wrong with having a friend going to Bora Bora and posting pictures from the most beautiful beaches, driving fast cars and lounging with hot women in bikinis. However, it becomes a problem when people like him and society start to pressure others to strive for something similar. Where, because you’ve traveled around the world and enjoyed it, you assume everyone should to really experience life. Where, because you’ve had sex with some of the most beautiful women in the world, you encourage others to do the same or else they’re missing out on life. Continue Reading
Anyone striving for greatness needs competition. These are just the facts of life. Without competition, some rival, some adversity to overcome, without someone to beat, how do you know how good you are? There’s nothing wrong with striving for greatness. It’s an amazing thing. It’s even better for the fans.

Anyone who was into kpop back in October of 2009 knows…the debut of MBLAQ and BEAST was one for the books. Everyone knew these groups were going to be all-stars in their own right. They were debuting at the same time and not only did the fans pit them against each other…for the first time, the boys themselves openly embraced the challenge. The competition was real and each group was ready to throw down.
Back then, they went by B2ST, pronounced BEAST…I remember when that teaser dropped and was like…Okay! Shots fired. Then, on October 14, 2009, MBLAQ responded with their first music video, “Oh Yeah”
Was homeboy sporting a mustache-goatee? In an idol group? Get the f**k outta here! I couldn’t believe it. Both MBLAQ and BEAST made their grand entrance like prized fighters to the ring. My respect for kpop definitely soared upon witnessing this with my own two eyes. But more than that. Even though they were rookies, I was already invested. A lot of us were.
Why? It wasn’t just the hype…AND THERE WAS A LOT OF HYPE! But the members themselves. A lot of us knew about them way before they debuted. Allow me to explain. Continue Reading
HEY YO! FINALLY!

2009 was a good year for YG Entertainment. Rolling off of Big Bang’s success from their “Remember” album in late 2008, they picked up endorsements from LG Electronics, spawned hits with Seungri’s “Strong Baby” and went on to launch arguably the greatest debut of any girl group in history with 2NE1.

In July of 2009, YG could have just sat back and rode off the wave of 2NE1’s hit “I Don’t Care,” or even Big Bang’s stardom in Japan with the release of their hit “Gara Gara Go.” Instead…they started teasing fans about the potential release of G-Dragon’s first solo project.
Now me…this had me on the edge of my seat. You gotta remember, I’ve been a fan of Big Bang since before they debuted in 2006. I saw what G-Dragon was capable of as a friggin trainee…a trainee!
As a grown man, I really hate pointing the finger at others when it comes to my own pain and sorrow. That being said, I’m not so stubborn as to ignore the reason if it’s due to what someone else has done.

If You Take Away Traditions…Christmas Blues
By Rock Kitaro
Date – December 27th 2019
This usually happens every Christmas and Birthday, mainly because I’m blasted with reminders of how the rest of the world is celebrating their traditions, how everyone seems to have someone, how everyone is living their lives and how completely different they are from me. God knows I pray for the strength and faith to keep my head up despite that which I lack, but I confess, it’s tough.
The reason why I gave this the title of “if you take away traditions…” because I really do believe this is an aspect of my childhood where my parents have failed me. As noted, I am a grown man. I sincerely believe in the concept of “from here on out, you’re in control of your life…” but at this point I’m not so sure if it’s possible for me.
The traditions that were removed from me as a child were the joyous holidays and family traditions that were pretty much celebrated the whole world over. Christmas. Valentine’s Day. Halloween. Thanksgiving. Birthdays…all of it came to an end during my childhood because my parent’s religion was against it. But I don’t blame the Jehovah’s Witnesses. I’ve just come to the conclusion that if you’re going to strip these things from a child’s life, you need to replace it with something else. Otherwise you’re left with an abysmal void.
This is an easy one we all should know but probably haven’t stopped to consider…myself included until just now. Recently, articles came out about Christians getting upset with an upcoming movie portraying a Gay Jesus that would be aired on Netflix.
The Reason Why Christians Get So Upset by Disrespectful Movies and TV Shows
By Rock Kitaro
Date December 22, 2019

Click if You Just Want to Listen to Me Reading the Essay
Leftists and even some Conservatives have hit back at the Christian community telling them, “If you don’t like it, don’t watch it.” And “Oh, I thought you guys were okay with freedom of speech!”
For a while, this had me stumped. Because, as an artist, I’m all for free speech. And I too follow the logic of if you don’t like it, don’t watch it. But at the same time, the portrayal of Jesus Christ as gay does upset me. Why? Well, let me illustrate.
How would you feel if you were going to die, your death warrant was signed and sealed, your life was scheduled to come to an end forever? And then, your brother or your sister, your mother or your father stepped up and offered to sacrifice themselves so that you might have a chance to live in everlasting life.
And then, when it came time for them to sacrifice their lives for you…it wasn’t clean. It wasn’t quick or painless. They spit on your mother. A mob of people beat your sister. Your father was chained to a rock and scourged with a whip that struck flesh from his back with each strike. They dragged your brother out, forcing him to carry his own cross and drove nails into the palm of his hand. For hours, he languished in pain and agony with the weight of his body tearing into his impaled ankles and hands until his life expired.
How would you feel if a loved one did all of this for you, only for someone to disrespect and belittle their sacrifice? To joke about it. To joke about the person who saved your life and gave you the chance to live forever, to see our loved ones again. Continue Reading