I’m not attracted to unnecessary drama and conflict. If you project the image of someone who has an attitude or constantly confrontational, you’re going to attract people of that nature. It’s as simple as that. And believe it or not, there are people who would prefer the thrilling emotional roller coaster ride of an unstable relationship, as opposed to a stable (predictable) peaceful one. Even if they don’t realize it.
You attract the energy you put out. I know this sounds nice and catchy, but I don’t think people really understand what it means. This here essay is inspired by some of the most beautiful women I see on Instagram and Youtube videos like the one below…They aren’t celebrities. Just people blessed with beauty. And yet the attitude they project make them so unappealing in the eyes of men like me.
“It’s just a performance, Rock. These girls aren’t like this in real life.”
You’re talking to an artist. With every decision we make in creating our art, there’s always a reason why. There’s always a motive. If you think I’m overthinking it, I can just as easily say you haven’t thought about it enough.
The energy they’re putting out is sex. Like all they want to do is get sex. And if you put out that energy, guess what kind of men you’re going to get. Men who only want sex. And then they wonder why the men they’re attracting have a tendency to sleep around on them.
Growing up, some of the most unpleasant experiences I had with the opposite sex came in the heat of an argument where there was usually a lot of yelling, accusations, and name calling. There was a lot of attitude, malice, and resentment. Feelings were hurt. I’d usually walk away and want nothing more to do with the person. Of course, tempers would simmer and we’d usually talk it out and come to some kind of resolution…but as a sane rational man, I didn’t enjoy those heated confrontations. They weren’t pleasant.
So why do some women think displaying such attitudes will attract a good man? Who told them that this is what men want?
Put it this way, if you posted photos of identical twin sisters…which do you think a good man would go for, the photo of the twin who’s projecting a fierce “sexy” attitude…or the identical twin who’s smiling like she’s happy to see you? Which would you choose? I’m sorry, let me reiterate. Which would you be more likely to spend the rest of your life with?
And if you’re the type of guy who’d be like, “I’d still hit the one with the lion. She looks like fun.” Be real. Ask yourself, “which are you more likely to approach?” Especially in today’s MeToo society.
“It’s called ‘allure’, Rock. Not to mention, who cares what you think! Some men think that’s hot. And they go for women like that.”
Exactly. Believe it or not, the person you choose to be with says a lot about who you are. So if you project all this defiance and attitude, what kind of person do you think is going to go for you? I mean, besides Chad, Tyrone, and Ray-Ray.
This isn’t to criticize or demean anyone, but merely to point out an obvious thing so many tend to overlook. I feel it’s important because it’s gone on for SOOO LONG! Ever since the 90s, nay the 60s, when you saw a sharp incline of children being born out of wedlock and single parent households.
What this shows us is that just because you’re having sex with a man, it doesn’t mean he’ll commit to you. And in the end, I do believe that the greatest thing a man can give you. Women choose who they have sex with. Men choose who they commit to. That’s the way it goes.
“Well, where are all the good men at?!”
Sounds familiar? And isn’t the answer obvious? Good men are with good women. If a good woman or good man is still single, it’s because they haven’t found another good person.
“Hold up, Rock! What about the good schoolgirl who goes out with the badass biker?! I know a good woman who’s with a horrible guy and their marriage is hell for her.”
Well, why’d she agree to marry him?
“She was fooled.”
Are fools…good? Is a schoolgirl who was raised by Christian parents to know right from wrong, yet chooses that badass biker…is she really good? Not to mention, I never said that Good Guys are “all” you’ll attract. Wickedness and evil do exist. There are wolves in sheep’s clothing, predators looking on someone to prey.
So I get it that women have their guards up and don’t smile to dissuade men from approaching. And I get it that some women will wear wedding rings on their ring finger to deter good men from approaching, because it lets off that they’re already taken. But if you go around thinking all or even most men are predators…we’re going to sense that and stay away. Reminds me of the notorious K. Michelle interview where she flat out said “all men are bad people.” lol, with some women, they don’t have to say it. We just pick up on that energy and want nothing to do with them.
People can sense fear, concern and due caution and none of that is attractive. When a woman says or even emits the aura of “you’re making me feel uncomfortable” that is the biggest can of natural Raid for guys like me who have seen what false accusations can do to a career. It repulses us.
Don’t worry, women, I know us men do the same thing when it comes to the unattractive energy we put out. Uncertainty, indecisiveness, the lack of confidence and awkwardness…women can sense all of that. And regardless what society is trying to teach us, like with the Big Bang Theory as if all women like nerdy, socially-awkward men. They don’t. That’s why you see some (many) girls falling for the bad guys. Because bad boys generally don’t give a damn about things like rules or consideration. They’re supremely confident in who they are and what they want to do and don’t care who they hurt or inconvenience to get their way. That’s “allure” that too many women fall for.
Consider, Ted Bundy. One of the most notorious serial killers the U.S. has ever known. And yet there’s actual footage of female fans showing their attraction for him. As I said…the mate you choose says a lot about who you are as an individual.
I know that sounds cold but think about it. Stop trying to defend and deflect and simply let my words sink in. You don’t have to agree with me, just think about it. Society will try to make you feel bad for being single as if there’s something wrong with you, especially if you’re a woman in your 30s. They’ll tell you, that if you’re a woman in your 30s, all the good men are already taken.
This is false. I am a good man. I know other good single men. At present, I’ve not been taken. Good men like me are simply biding our time and building ourselves up, our finances, our intellect, maintaining our health as we put our trust in God that his will be done. So don’t be discouraged. And whatever you do…don’t give in to temptation and selfish behavior by having sex with anyone just to have a child because you’re afraid of being alone. Trust in God.
You attract the kind of energy you put out.
What does that mean?
Well, it’s the theory that if you’re a happy, positive, upbeat individual…then others who are happy, positive and upbeat will be attracted to you. And this isn’t always apparent. Meaning, it isn’t always put on display. I’ve seen examples of introverted, shy, and quiet people who are magnetized by the outspoken charismatic person. That might sound like a contradiction to the theory of attracting the energy you put out, but I dare say, that just because a person is quiet and shy, it doesn’t mean they aren’t positive or upbeat. All that means is that they aren’t putting out any energy at all. Hahaha!
Well, what do I mean by “energy”?
How does a person make you feel when you’re around them? I do believe that it varies from person to person, but we can generalize here that clues such as laughter, smiles, kind eye-contact, and questions that show care for the other person’s well-being, generally puts out a positive energy that makes others feel good.
I say this varies from person to person because…culture. In some cultures throughout the U.S., people don’t like it when men smile. I know this from personal experience because when I was a kid, my family was military and we moved from place to place throughout the South. In Texas, I could smile and laugh and be myself and be loved and accepted by my peers, easily. But when I got to Augusta, Georgia at the age of eleven, that Dirty South where the culture is heavily entrenched in hip hop with sharp contrasting stereotypes, it appeared that smiling was a sign of weakness. Thus, you have all these photos of black kids staring into the camera as if they’re about to jump you and shove that camera.
However, I believe this all superficial. Meaning, you have grown men mean-mugging and acting hard in public because that’s what they’re being taught to think is cool or hip. But behind closed doors, when there are no cameras, unfamiliar individuals, when it’s just the boys with no girls to impress…you’ll find even the most dangerous wanna-be gangsters laughing and smiling like a kid at a carnival.
“So what’s the point of all this, Rock. What are you trying to say?”
We’re not kids anymore. This is the real world. One day your parents and everyone you used to depend on will be dead and you’ll have to prepare for your old age. You’ll need people to help you navigate this world, to take care of you in the face of hardship, to be there for you when you can’t take care of yourself. Relying on the government can only do so much.
I write this essay because I’m concerned about the women who have an affinity for hip hop culture, who have bought into the morality of the women from “Love and Hip Hop” and “Black Ink Crew”. I’m concerned about the women who are addicted to drama and conflict, the kind of women who find stability and peace somewhat of a bore.
“Um, Rock. That’s they’re life. They can do whatever they want!”
Like get tattoos and piercings that remain forever? Like getting knocked up and having to take care of a child for a good 18-25 years? It’s true, they can do whatever they want. But will they be happy in the long run?
“WHY DO YOU CARE!?”
If you see someone walking towards a tiger trap, would you not warn them?
“I’m sayin’ though. You act like you some kind of expert or some shit.”
Let me ask you…who decided fierce was sexy? Who told you that this saucy, independent, defiant attitude was something desirable, that it’s what all the men want?
“I don’t care what men want!”
Exactly. That you don’t care what men want…it shows. We see it. It shows in your actions, your personality, in the energy you put out. I’m a big fan of nature documentaries. As I’ve mentioned in other essays, every creature on the planet has a process by which they choose a mate. Its instinct, ingrained in us to procreate. This is nature. This is biology.
Do you think a good man will want to procreate with a woman who only cares about what she wants?
A lot of us good men were tempered and refined from our own rough upbringings. We were the product of divorce and broken homes, thus we carry this chip on our shoulders to never repeat the sins of our parents. Me being extremely selective about the mate I choose has little to do with what I want for myself, and more to do about the kind of mother I’d want for our children. This is love. Not stupid self-love, but love for others. If I had self-love, I would have sired children long ago in moments of impulse and lust. The self-love to give into what I want with no regard or consideration about what kind of world I’d be potentially bringing children into.
What I believe has happened, is a certain sect of Feminism and Mainstream Culture have embraced concepts that tore down walls of traditional courtship to favor…themselves. I’ve been saying it for years. The problem with this country is that the media hubs of entertainment are concentrated in New York and Los Angeles. What they’re doing is projecting their culture over the rest of the country. Meaning, millionaires and extraordinary people are dictating how the rest of us should live. But the rest of us aren’t millionaires and we’re not extraordinary.
So while you see celebrities living a lifestyle, promoting swag, thug culture, and amoral lifestyles all with the safety net of their own wealth and connections, normal people who try to emulate that fall hard on tough times resulting in unplanned births and single-motherhood. This is a problem because…crime.
The above link shows the results of fatherless households with a majority of inmates being raised in fatherless households. Here are more of a few stats:
63% of all youth suicides,
70% of all teen pregnancies,
71% of all adolescent chemical/substance abusers,
80% of all prison inmates, and
90% of all homeless and runaway children, came from single mother homes.
“Um! All that means is that men need to step up and raise their children.”
I don’t disagree. But imagine having the ability, the power, the responsibility of being the one who chooses who you will or won’t procreate with. I think you know what I’m getting at. Women have this power. Now, more so than ever in society. More than that, they have the power to inspire, to influence men into being the kind of men they want.
Why else do you think men dream of being rappers and celebrities or athletes. The money, sure. But if women openly showed how much they were fans of plumbers or thought that electricians were so sexy, what do you think would happen? Women have this power over men…because Men have come to love women more than they love God.
Ever since Adam and Eve, man’s greatest folly has been choosing the desires of women over what God wants. But of course, all men aren’t like that. Some men do have the strength to resist. The wisdom to put God first. And some women desire men who are like that. They’re attracted to Godly men. These people…Godly men and Godly women are attracted to each other based on the energy they put out.
Joy. Happiness. Smiling. Laughter. Kindness. Compassion. Considerate behavior. Putting the needs of others before yourselves. Serving others, as Chris came to serve us. It is my position that if Christian marriages end in divorce, it’s because one of the spouses stopped putting God first. They put themselves first.
But still…attraction. You attract the energy you put out.
When I hear men and women complain about there not being any good suitable mates out there, it really does hurt my heart. With all these male suicides, I can’t help but think, “if only they had someone.” And with all these single-mothers out here, I know it’s hard. I can’t help but think, “if only they had someone”.
“Well, they have their children! They’re son can be the man of the house!”
“Whatever, Rock. I’m gonna do me! This is my life, my choices, my body. And if anyone has a problem with it, fuck ‘em. I don’t need that negative energy in my life. You talk about attracting the energy you put out. Well, I think all your opinions are negative to me. So I’m not attracted to you!”
Remember those words. Because you’re absolutely right. Your life. Your choices. Your choice. Not society. Not men. Not other women. Yours. The responsibility is all yours.