I know words like “controversial” and misogynistic are thrown around when it comes to Kevin Samuels. He blew up thanks to WorldStarHipHop because he told a 35-year-old black single mother that she was going to die alone. Of course, if you don’t know the context of this conversation, sounds like a horrible thing to say. Even with the proper context, it still sounds horrible.
But sometimes, the truth is horrible. Yes, Kevin did give a lot of opinions…but he also provided facts. Such as facts about fatherless households, or that being a single mother isn’t as pleasant and glorified as the media makes it out to be…or that a lot of people have been lied to by Feminism. Because he holds men and women accountable and calls the Black Community out on their BS, if you go to Twitter right now, you’ll find a slew of tweets celebrating and mocking the death of Kevin Samuels. He was 56.
When I heard about Kevin’s death today, my heart sank. As a Christian, there were some things Samuels said that was disappointing. For instance, he seemed to advocate the hook-up culture. He promoted the “high value male” lifestyle when, really, our priorities should be putting God first and doing what’s good in his eyes.
That being said, Kevin Samuels was doing a world of good when it comes to exposing the truth, hypocrisies and double standards within the Black Community. For years, for decades even…it seems like Black Women have gone unchecked in a sense. I know that sentence alone makes me sound like a misogynists, which is why Kevin Samuels was so valuable. Samuels and men like him were able to openly have conversations and say things that a lot of us men are actually thinking, what we want to say about black women and black culture, but we’d risk our jobs, careers, and reputations. (this essay was written on the fly. Not really edited to filter out inappropriate thoughts that might be deemed insensitive. So enter at your own discretion)
So in a sense, it is partially our fault as men…but also, because this is America…we don’t need to keep it as our problem. Meaning, if we don’t want to deal with Black Women, we don’t have to. And this is why Kevin was important, this is why despite how horrible his opinions and advice sounded, he was actually doing a world of good by helping black families. For all the ladies out there saying, “where are all the good men at!” He was telling you who we are and what we WANT!
This video he had with women about their mothers really delved into how much a lot of women were misled and basically trained from failures by their own mothers and the culture. One by one, women were admitting that their mothers failed them. This isn’t to Bash Women! For years we’ve had shows like The Real and every other daytime talk show talk about men, telling us what Women want and how we Men need to do better. Fine. Great! But what about what Men Want?
Recently, there was this clip where a woman kept stressing how “Men don’t want to be with me because they’re intimidated by me!”
Let’s say that’s true. That Men are intimidated by you. Now what? What are you going to do about it if you still want to find a man and get married? Are you going to change who you are so a man might be willing to deal with you? Or are you going to sit there in your intimidation and simply demand everyone else to change for you?
The Conversations Kevin had with ladies helped them to realize the folly of so many stupid ideologies the mainstream media’s currently promoting. And with Kevin’s passing, I don’t think there’s anyone else who could have these kind of conversations, these kinds of discussions on the scale that he did it. What I mean by that, is there are a lot of Red Pill Content creators who are putting out good messages to combat the mainstream…but Kevin is one of the few who had the patience to deal with, the tolerance to listen, and the intelligence to spit back the illogical statements and stay focused on the topic…especially when most of his detractors exemplified S.I.G.N. language.
S.I.G.N. language is a phrase Kevin coined to describe what it’s like arguing with a combative woman. S stands for their propensity to shame you, I stands for their propensity to insult you, G stands for their propensity to guilt you…and N, is the worse…the Need to be right. Almost every man on earth has experienced this in dealing with a woman. Not saying Men don’t do it too…but it’s different, because men and women are different and we each have our own roles, regardless of society’s attempts to break down those roles and make women more like men, and men more like women.
To be perfectly frank, I am a black man who has never really felt like I had a place in the Black Community. I’m not into hip hop, don’t like “urban surroundings,” don’t speak the language (or have a deep voice, given my size), I have a horrible fashion sense, and I came from a place where I pretended be a stereotypical black youth just to fit in with the cliques in middle school and high school, but it wasn’t really me.
That being said…kinda makes sense that my first true girlfriend was a green-eyed blonde white girl. Growing up, I was always given crap for “liking white girls”. Of course, it doesn’t mean that I only like white girls. I think all races of women are beautiful. But it wasn’t until I grew up that I realized, one of the biggest reasons why I fell for a certain type of woman was because I went where i was simply accepted and appreciated for being who I am.
I’m not a fan of the strong and independent types. I don’t like women who are too assertive to the point that they don’t know when to back down. Not a fan of the domineering, fierce, laced with this “slay queen” attitude types. Not saying any of that’s bad…but I’m just not attracted to that. Another thing I’m not attracted to, is fat women. I know the Body Positivity movement has everyone saying “all bodies are beautiful”…but sorry, that’s just not for me. And last but not least, I’ve dated a single mother before. She was an awesome woman and I wish nothing but the best for her…but ever since I was a teen, it’s been my dream to have my own family. After working and coming as far as I have, sacrificing and knowing the Word of Christ…I’m sorry, but she’d have to be the most beautiful woman in the world with a personality chemistry that has us clicking on all levels for me to even consider a single mother again.
The fact that a lot of women struggle to understand why a man wouldn’t want a single mother, or a fat woman…it shows why men like Kevin Samuels was needed.
Listening to Kevin Samuels have these conversations gave me hope. That maybe I came across a woman who simply was raised in a two-parent household so she already knows how to treat her man…she’s read the Bible and believes in it so she knows her role in a marriage, or she’s heard bits and pieces of Kevin Samuels so she knows what men are wanting in a wife.
Fit, Feminine, and Submissive are qualities Kevin Samuels tried to get women to understand, that this is what a lot of us Black Men want. Not the Pookies and Ray-Rays who are dealing drugs, hustling on the streets and will hump anything that moves. But just normal, law-abiding, hardworking black men. We’re not looking for Beyonce and Cardi B. Just a fit, feminine, and submissive woman. If I found that, regardless of her skin color… and now…with Kevin gone, I think the conversations will cease. I don’t know who will take up the mantle and carry on his legacy.
And thus…women will be continued to be lied to and encouraged to be everything a great deal of men find unattractive. And when their looks have faded, they have multiple children outside of wedlock, and find themselves unmarried, overweight and in their 40s, 50s, and 60s…at the very least, I hope the find salvation in God. Because just as women have the free will and choice to do whatever they want, live however they want, and be with whoever they want…Us Men have that same freedom. And we won’t be bullied, shamed, and guilted into marrying just anyone just because the mainstream tells us we should.
My condolences to Kevin Samuels’ friends and family. He will be sorely missed. And from the outpour of men reaching out to express how sad they are to see him gone…it really does go to show how so many truly underestimated his value.
“Wow, Rock. Sounds like you liked Kevin Samuels because he was encouraging women to be the kind of women you like!”
Correct
“Well, they’re free to be who they want so if you don’t like them, then stay over there with your Beckys!”
Okay.
“I’m sayin’ though! All Kevin did was put down black women!”
I understand why a lot of people would have that critique. And it’s a shame, really. To be clear, I’m not saying that if a woman (black or white) is too hip hop/urban in their culture, it won’t work with guys like me. But really…the femininity and submissiveness is key. I can be buddies and friends with everyone…but i won’t marry a woman who’s too masculine and doesn’t know how to be submissive.
This video of a lady, I think provided the best critique because unlike some who merely heard bits and pieces, or just a few shows…like me, this woman has watched over 50 Livestreams to provide better context.
UPDATE:
Thought I’d share links to hundreds of comments and tributes coming in for Kevin Samuels. Goes to show how much he really helped a lot of people, men and women.
https://www.youtube.com/post/Ugkxm1nKVPk-cI-0M9yYri5lS5NgJaehVRJM – Anthony Brian Logan
https://www.youtube.com/post/UgkxVgDzzmqz-_X6gXcwaDv16FXgwFb2QoL2 – Sandman
https://www.youtube.com/post/UgkxtOkh9t_fnG6klTEiT0xzcjU0zi8rrFy0 – Think Before You Sleep
Stage In The Sky 
Yes.
I agree that some stuff KS said was alright. He also mixed in a lot of error.
Kevin Samuels needed to be balanced. Black women indeed should not be let off the hook. I can see how something happens one time and a black woman becomes a single mother, but for some reason, many mothers become a single mother over and over again.
This needs to be addressed. And there are actually true man of God such as coach Rod and Tony Gaskins addressing these things in the right balanced way.
It also needs to be addressed that the man equally helped create the baby and the men abandon. It is false that a woman will not be desired because she is a single mother. It depends on the man. So a sweeping generalization cannot be made.
There are plenty of men who don’t want single mothers and plenty men who do date and marry single mothers.
So using it as a manipulative and fear tactic to scare women about being single mothers is not good and they did not get themselves pregnant by themselves.
At the same time, being realistic with women and telling them to be responsible and be accountable for their own behavior and the situations they get themselves into is a good thing.
A lot of black men are just sowing wild oats and they look to promiscuity as a form of false glorification and false affirmation maybe even more so than other men, because they often do not succeed as well in the corporate world.
In addition, rap/ hip-hop culture glorifies male promiscuity and demeans women. So the whole thing is messed up.
Telling a woman she loses value after 30 or 35 is not of God. Telling a woman that she loses value for being a single mother is not of God. So this man was a mixture of things and one thing about the adversary is he will always mix error in with truth.
That is how deceptive he is and that’s how he baits people in to a damaging message. Just because he states some truth, it doesn’t mean the whole thing is not tainted by error.
It is quite unfortunate he passed away and I was shocked to hear it. I’m not celebrating and rejoicing in his death like some people are. However, this means he cannot produce new poison for the people. Any old poison and any truth he mixed in with it will still circulate. And there are other influencers like him.
Surely, there has to be some other well-balanced people out there who tell the truth and hold both men and women accountable such as Tony Gaskins. Tony Gaskins is not favored by many of the black men because he tells the truth and holds men accountable as well as women.
Kevin Samuel’s advice kind of feeds the flesh more while mixing SOME truth in, is my opinion. He encouraged men to weaponize their money through his message.
He helped them to not focus on integrity, but to focus on their material possessions and money and think that they are entitled to sleep around because of it and think that they are entitled to get a pass on good character because of their money. This message was not of God and is very damaging.
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As I mentioned, I may not have agreed with everything Samuels said…but to say he was producing “poison” is a bit too far in my book. I disagreed with a lot of what you wrote in your comment, so much so that I’m tempted to write an essay about each point. It’s true that Kevin Samuels did belittle a lot of people about their life choices. But in my opinion…They needed that harsh criticism. Too many people in today’s culture sugar coat things, especially for women. They’re too concerned about hurting people’s feelings that the truth is watered down, when it should be hit hard. The person goes away thinking all is good when it’s not good. Being a single mother is not good. They NEED to hear that, not so they feel bad, but so they understand their situations because a lot of people are delusional. This leads to frustration because reality isn’t matching that delusion they have of themselves.
And Samuels telling women they lose their value after 30…every time I’ve heard Samuels say that, it was in relations to their Sexual Marketplace Value. Meaning, her value in what men find attractive, such as a woman’s youth, beauty, and fertility. She’s still valuable in God’s eyes, but to us Men as wives…come on Petrina…honestly, it’s understandable why a lot of women would dislike the guy. But to guys like me, as I mentioned in my post…he was doing us a solid favor. So in short, I disagree with about 85% of your comment and really don’t appreciate it. Very ill-timed. It’d be like if some figure you appreciated just died, you wrote a tribute, and I took the time to list all the things I disliked about the person on your blog.
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I couldn’t have said it better.
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Rock, I’m reading this in October 2024, more than 2 years after the death of Kevin Samuels. You put together a great article and it was very needed. I disagree with about 90% of what Petrina said above. I suspect that she either didn’t see enough of Kevin Samuel’s messaging, was too triggered by Mr. Samuels’ tone grasp what he was conveying or was unable to see things from the perspective of marriage-minded men.
Petrina says “I can see how something happens one time and a black woman becomes a single mother, but for some reason, many mothers become a single mother over and over again.”
That’s precisely Kevin Samuels’ point! The one and done single mother is rarer than the single, unwed mother with multiple children. This is not to put all of the blame on the woman, but it illustrates that epidemic of baby mama culture is so commonplace that it’s not even an issue of shame for a woman to be single, unwed (often never wed) and have birthed multiple children, often to more than one man. Ironically, this wasn’t Kevin Samuels’ information. This information was validated by statistics from government organizations and non-profits who study this area.
Petrina says “It also needs to be addressed that the man equally helped create the baby and the men abandon.”
Here again, she is correct about the man being an equal participant in the baby making; however, she adds in a falsehood about black men abandoning their children. Scientific research has shown that Black men make the best fathers. Moreover, single Black fathers have greater outcomes with their children than single Black mothers. What Petrina neglects to acknowledge is that the courts are titled dramatically in favor of mothers, even when the mother is not always the most suitable parent. I have professional experience in the legal world that validates the statistics.
Plus, statistics have shown that most (more than 50%) of Black men of reproductive age do not have children and that a small percentage of Black men are fathering most of the children born to Black single mothers. As a father of girls, I see this as a selection and cultural issue for young Black women. For reasons, that are clear to me, young Black women are attracted early in life to the most unsuitable men. They commonly make the like-altering decision to mate and reproduce with these unsuitable men. The outcome is the outcome.
Petrina says “It is false that a woman will not be desired because she is a single mother. It depends on the man. So a sweeping generalization cannot be made.”
Yet again, Petrina missed Kevin Samuels’ point. It’s not that single mothers are undesirable. It’s that single mothers are less desirable to marriage-minded men. A marriage-minded man knows going into that situation that another man has a permanent platform to influence his (the marriage-minded man’s) household. That child is not his, and he is limited in some way in how he manages his household due to another man. Each additional father creates another layer of complication to that marriage-minded man in regulating his household. It’s the “you ain’t my daddy…” trope that is a very real issue for a step father. It’s the “my daddy said I don’t have to do what you say…” or “my daddy is gonna come over here if you ….” These are very real issues. If a man can choose his mate to create a family and a household, it’s clear that choosing a single mother who brings another man into his business is not ideal or desirable from the marriage-minded man’s standpoint. Many single mothers were triggered when confronted with this reality…. the standpoint of the man who is coming into this situation.
In truth, if a man is only interesting in casual sex without relationship (a non-marriage-minded man) … a single mother is perhaps more desirable for quick, casual sex… because her past record of not requiring marriage to bring a child into the world “suggests” that she may be willing to have casual sex without a commitment. It’s not full proof, but men have always been hunters, and hunters weigh probabilities.
Petrina says “There are plenty of men who don’t want single mothers and plenty men who do date and marry single mothers.”
This was a common argument of single mothers on Kevin Samuels’ platform. This is exactly why Kevin Samuels measured the outcome based on marriages and not “dating, f-ing, sexing, dealing with,” or any number of phrases Black culture has created to mean the same thing… access to sex without a marriage commitment. Even long-term relationships are a fool’s game for a woman looking to get married. If a man wants to marry you and take you off the market, he will do so. It will not take him long. If it takes him long, his actions are telling you that he does not want to marry you. This was great advice that Kevin Samuels often delivered to women.
Petrina says “So using it as a manipulative and fear tactic to scare women about being single mothers is not good and they did not get themselves pregnant by themselves.
At the same time, being realistic with women and telling them to be responsible and be accountable for their own behavior and the situations they get themselves into is a good thing.”
I don’t believe the truth is a fear tactic. Sometimes the truth is strong. Sometimes “truth hurts.” And in my opinion, it needs to be strong to get us together.
Petrina says “A lot of black men are just sowing wild oats and they look to promiscuity as a form of false glorification and false affirmation maybe even more so than other men, because they often do not succeed as well in the corporate world.”
It’s not “a lot of black men.” Statistics show that it’s a small percentage of black men are fathering these children to the majority of single mothers. The proverbial “Ray Ray” or “Nug Nug” is not just a trope. It represents reality for most single others. If a man is not inclined to marry you, there shouldn’t be any way that he is suitable to father your children. This is where single mothers are failing. Far too many Black women allow men who THEY SAY are bums, unsuitable for relationship or marriage to skeet inside them raw. I said it that way to give strong truth for the epidemic of Black single motherhood. No other ethnic or racial group has this numbers and percentages of single mothers like us.
Petrina says “In addition, rap/ hip-hop culture glorifies male promiscuity and demeans women. So the whole thing is messed up.”
In this Petrina and I agree.
Telling a woman she loses value after 30 or 35 is not of God. Telling a woman that she loses value for being a single mother is not of God. So this man was a mixture of things and one thing about the adversary is he will always mix error in with truth.
Petrina, it’s not that a woman loses personal value just because she is a single mother. But, it is true that she loses her “sexual marketplace value” if she brings a child to the world without requiring the father to marry her. I repeat my statement above on this issue. For marriage-minded men, this is not generally a great deal because from day one he doesn’t have 100% influence in HIS household. Any many who is interested in marrying wants to influence his household without having to check with another due who isn’t paying bills or paying the time bill of parenthood. It’s a complication that marriage-minded men would rather avoid. The woman (single mother) would have to be exceptional.
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Great points. So sorry to hear he died! Sure, he had his gaps, but on balance he did a great service to men AND women. I loved his line to one lady: “You’ve watched too many d*mn Disney movies!” Entertainment has absolutely distorted women’s expectations and desires and ruined many of them for life. Kevin gave them the tough love that their friends and family rarely did.
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P.S. Anyone hating on his death is conceding to having a perverse and false worldview on dating and marriage. The truth sounds like hate to those that hate the truth.
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My feelings about Kevin Samuels are mixed. I believe he gave voice to a lot of uncomfortable truths about the state of things in the black community, and in particular among black women. A majority of seem to be in the “Yasss, Slay Queen, you are fabulous!” camp when in reality they are sitting in lives of rubble.
Often Mr. Samuels gave out hard to swallow, but much needed medicine to black women. I find the fact that all the black media outlets resorted to name calling such as “misogyny!” and “grifter!” very telling as it exposes the fact that the black elite has sold out to the matriarchy. AL Sharpton is the biggest grifter in black recent history, and they continue to give him voice. Samuels is being treated harshly for saying the things that many men think but won’t say. Although I have to say, just about every black man I grew up around said many of the same things and it was regardedas common sense.
That said, and I believe this about anyone, not just Kevin Samuels; when you preach a message you do not live, you open yourself up to be disqualified. That’s not me being a hater, that’s me quoting the Apostle Paul (1 Corinthians 9, can’t recall the exact verse). If I have any issues with Mr. Samuels, it’s that he seems to have gone out doing the very thing he passionately preached that other men and women should not do.
Nobody’s perfect, I guess? And I really don’t like it when people dance on the graves of those they disagree with, and black women (and quite a few black men) seem to be doing this on Twitter.
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Actually…something you mentioned is perhaps one of the few things I didn’t like about Samuels. I don’t think I’m on board with the idea that being a hypocrite discredits the message. Ravi Zacharias immediately comes to mind for all the work he did in Christ’s name despite it posthumously coming out that he was an adulterer.
In Samuels videos, one thing I disliked about him (aside from the pedestalizing of his version of what a high-value man is), is that he did seem to condone the hook-up culture. There’s one video where he interviewed a woman he called “Canada Dry” where he scolded her for wanting to wait until marriage to have sex even though she’s no longer a virgin.
That’s why it bothered the crap out of me when he sometimes propped himself up to be a Christian with time spent in legit ministries. Because fornication and sexual immoralities are the wicked ways of the world, not Christ. And even IF a woman had sex before, if she chooses to repent and do things the right way from here on out, a Christian shouldn’t be like, “Nope. You already had sex. So you need to continue to put out.”
So when I heard he died in circumstances that suspiciously sounds like he was either hooking up or engaging in a one-night stand…it wasn’t surprising to me, or a lot of his listeners.
The man wasn’t without his flaws, for sure. But in this day in age…beggers can’t be choosers. I think there’s a lot of men who would like to be more open, honest, and vocal about what we want in a wife, and what we find attractive…but just can’t risk it. We needed someone and Samuels filled that role, despite his flaws.
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This was a great article. Unlike many who’ve commented on KS, I think you cut through the weeds to see the man as a he is/was.
I believe that he saw himself as a bonafide Christian. Yes, he made suggestions that seemed to go opposite of those beliefs but, after listening to and watching a lot of his videos, I’ve come to the conclusion that he was simply reading his audience.
I don’t drink, smoke, or use drugs but, that doesn’t stop me from giving a few dollars to someone on the street who I believe has a greater need than my judgement.
Even with the negative comments, “buy a dog, die alone”, I believe our community would ultimately benefit from Kevin’s views. His perspective and directives for both Black men, and Black women are sorely needed to our current cultural practices.
Finally, I couldn’t find a name or picture of you, the author. I wish I could see who I’m conversing with. Thanks for saying it all.
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Hi there, I go by the pen name of Rock Kitaro! Thanks for your comment, man. lol, prompted me to re-read what I wrote, hahaha! Yeah. a year after his passing…you can tell KS is sorely needed. Just seeing the backlash Simone Biles’s husband got for suggesting he was the “catch” is proof positive of that.
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“As a Christian, there were some things Samuels said that was disappointing.”
“And from the outpour of men reaching out to express how sad they are to see him gone…”
The way you speak doesn’t match the description you gave of yourself. Kevin’s next set of teachings were supposed to be on the topic “self awareness is sexy” and I can imagine they would have been directed towards women AND men. They were most definitely needed as most people of either gender tend to have a self inflated and warped view of themselves and how others perceive them.
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Kevin Samuels was discouraging women from being abstinate. He was encouraging women to find men’s value in their material assets rather than in their godliness. The meaning of single mothers was far greater than the meaning of fathers who impregnated them. There were so many other things wrong with Kevin Samuels but he scratched the itching ears of men who don’t know God and want a feel good message that elevates men and demeans women.
Of COURSE he made some good points. We will often find a mixture of harmful, dangerous and evil rhetoric mixed in with some good teachings.
Isn’t that the way the adversary works?
You know, we don’t agree on this and that’s okay. God saw and heard exactly what Kevin Samuels was doing and God is the determinator of what is good and what is bad.
We can find out what good and bad are through the Holy Spirit and Bible literacy. We must push all of our feelings, biases, bitterness against the other gender and sinful hearts to the side. We must ask God to purify us so that we can have a balanced, rightful understanding and application of God’s word.
Be blessed.
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Well done sir. Thank you
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