Five days before Christmas, I learned that my 26-year-old cousin was shot and killed. This person wasn’t just any cousin. She wasn’t just any family member. Ever since she was a baby, she was like a little sister to me. And apart from her surviving sister, I don’t think I ever loved anyone more than Autumn.
death
All posts tagged death
I’m not afraid of dying…Sure, everyone has some some anxiety about how we die, but the concept doesn’t fear me. Because I believe without a shadow of doubt that there’s something better…after all this.
I don’t like this world. During this time of Pandemic, I keep getting asked when I go out to the gym and drive to and from work, whether I’m afraid of catching the Coronavirus…my answer is no. This isn’t out of ignorance or some arrogance that I think I’m impervious to the disease…But more so, I just don’t cling to this world the way most people do.
And it makes sense for me. You keep hearing all these slogans about how we’re “AloneTogether”…but really, we’re not. I’m a 34-year-old man who lives by himself. Most of my family are hundreds of miles away. I have no wife, no children, no love interests. This isn’t to complain. Just stating the facts. If I caught the Coronavirus and died, the people I love will be taken care. I’d have no regrets. I won’t miss anything about this world. My eyes are fixated on something better.
Continue ReadingLast August, I wrote a tribute about a girl I had a crush on in the 8th Grade who died. Six months later, her family discovered the tribute. Their response was…incredible.
Patricia Griffin – Sophomore Year
Last year, on August 18th 2019…I woke up on my birthday and was compelled to write about a girl I had a crush on in the 8th grade. Patricia Kay Griffin. It was inexplicable. She was never my “official” girlfriend. I hadn’t seen her since before 2005, and I don’t think I watched or listened to anything that would trigger my memories of her…but over the years, all too often, this girl comes to mind.
Patricia died in 2008. I didn’t find out till years later when my thoughts and curiosity prompted me to do a search. Sadly, I found her obituary. She was only 21 when she passed and I think that’s what I hate the most, aside from her being one of the good ones, a kind-hearted loving person. She was so young. It’s impossible to see her and not feel inspired, energized, encouraged to get up off my ass and do something with my life. I loved her. It’s just one of those things.
So, on my birthday. I wrote this essay – “Remembering Patricia Griffin.”
I poured out most of my memories of her. How we first met. The embarrassing blunders. The truth about what she meant to me. The truth about what I “thought” had happened to her. That was six months ago.
Then, a few weeks ago. On a busy Tuesday night in the middle of February, I was multi-tasking on a number of projects when I just happened to check my G-mail and saw two new messages with the name “Patricia” in the heading.
Remembering a middle school crush who’s no longer with us…
Remembering Patricia Griffin
By Rock Kitaro
Date – August 18, 2019
I turned 33-years-old today…and yet, I woke up thinking about her. One of life’s greatest tragedies, I think…is that we’re not able to tell others how much they meant to us.
We can, but depending on the person, they might get creeped out, or its just straight up inappropriate if they’re married or moved on with their lives to the point that they’d rather never see you again.
But with Patricia…lol, it’s such a cliché thing to say at funerals, that someone’s “touched all of our lives,” when you know damn well they didn’t. I’ve scoured the internet in search of a photo for her. I can’t find one. And yet, I remember her. Plain as day, as if I just saw her yesterday.
Before 8th grade, I never knew Patricia Kay Griffin existed. We called her Patty. Olive tone, her hair appeared crimped, brown with highlights of gold. Wide expressive eyes with thick brows. I remember she always wore these shirts that were apparently too small, because every time she’d raise her hand or lean over, it’d show her midriff.
Hahahaha! I’ll never forget the day my science teacher said, “Patricia, your stomach is showing.”
I whipped around so fast to see her…hahaha!
And when I looked back to the front of the class, my teacher, Mrs. Cassel was just staring at me with this look like, “typical guy.”
I laughed so much. Before that day, I never knew how transparent I was. Sounds embarrassing, I know. But it’s the truth.
I definitely had a crush on Patty in 8th grade, Hephzibah Middle School. I’d flirt with her. We’d make fun of each other all the time and we had this chemistry where we wanted to be around each other…but she was never “officially” my girlfriend (story of my life). And I’m not entirely sure if she ever felt the same way about me. For all I knew, I could have just been a buddy and nothing more.
Stage In The Sky 