By Rock Kitaro
Date: May 26, 2013

Bleeding Heart – An informal label applied to someone regarded as excessively sympathetic, of having sympathetic without warrant.

I have a lot of female cousins on my mom’s side of the family. I have all brothers, but a lot of female cousins. Growing up with my brothers…I didn’t hear condescending underhanded remarks. With us boys, we openly dissed each other in good fun. We called each other names and talked shit well until we’re rolling in laughter or coming close to blows…but hardly any condescending insults masked as blunt unbiased and indifferent statements.

One of the things I heard a lot growing up…usually from females… “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Now this…is probably one of the dumbest things you can say to someone who looks like they’re going through hard time. It’s almost as bad as telling someone you’ve outright offended, that you’re “sorry they feel that way.”

If someone is worked up about something. Or if something is obviously weighing heavily on the person’s mind. For you to tell them, that it’s not that big of a deal is incredibly obnoxious and inconsiderate. While it may not be a big deal to you, it’s apparently a big deal to them. I mean…it’s written on their faces for craps sake. The lack of insight isn’t intentional, I’m sure.

That’s why I don’t get angry when I hear such statements, but rather just look at them perplexed, silently thinking to myself, “how could you say that? You must not know the whole situation? And even if you think you do, you obviously don’t understand, or lack the ability to put yourself in another person’s shoes. In which case, the shortcomings are your own.”

To get to the point of what I’m trying to say… I have a problem with carrying too much. You know how there’s the term “unrequited love” referring to how you’re in love with someone who doesn’t feel the same way about you. Well, the story of my life revolves around caring about people who could careless that I care, or people with a pocket full of fucks who just couldn’t give one to me.

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always been this way. About animals, about the homeless, about orphans, about people I didn’t even know. When I was 9-years-old and learned about the Battle of the Alamo, turns out that I have a ridiculous amount of care of people who aren’t even alive anymore. Don’t even get me started about slavery and the Jews in the Holocaust. Or that notorious incident in Nanjing that they neglected to teach me in public school.

For those thinking I’m sensitive or soft, let me tell you, I brood…I don’t grieve. I brood. Brooding is to think about something, often in a dark or melancholy manner. I have this um…This narcissistic belief, that no matter what…there’s always something we can do. The idea of simply accepting things as just the way they are…yeah…hahaha…not in my world. Not in the one life that I’ve been given.

And the questions I would hear in my head from my doubters when I give that declaration are usually: “Well, Rock. What do you want to do about it? What do you think you can do? Who do you think you are? You can’t control everything.”

The people who ask me those questions are completely missing the fucking point. The real question they should be asking is why do I care at all. And even if they did ask, the answer I’d give them wouldn’t satisfy them. Because the honest truth is that I just don’t know. I kills me how much I care without knowing why I care. I think its because I have this great love for human beings. But at the same time, I have a cynical view about the majority of the general public. So what gives…

Hahaha! I could go into a theory about when I look into the mirror, I don’t just see one of me, but I see five of me…but that’s for another topic.

If you’re a bleeding heart…or if someone’s giving you crap for caring too much or having too much sympathy for another or others. I tell you, that I know it hurts. It’s unpleasant, and its even worse when you’re slighted aren’t for this quality. But that’s all right. Just learn to hide how much you care and know when to share it. That bleeding heart is passion. Passion leads to motivation. Motivation leads to accomplishment. Accomplishment…just isn’t something garden variety motherfuckers can lay claim to.