By Rock Kitaro
Date: May 13, 2013
Big Bang – “Stay” –
The following work is completely fictional. Some spelling is incorrect intentionally for flavor.
“…I’m sorry what?”
“English, motherfucker! Do you speak it!” Said another officer before laughing his ass off and wandering down the hall.
“…Royes…” Det. James mumbled as a double-stream of smoke blew out of his nose. “I apologize on his behalf. The graveyard shift on a Tuesday night is boring for all the uni’s.”
I rolled my head and batted my eyelashes. My head was bangin from two white Russians and rum and these pigs was asking me every damn question in the book.
“Mmmhmm…Whatever muthafucker. Go ahead on… talkin about the graveyard duty. I got a double shift at Home Depo in four hours!” I wasn’t yelling at him. Just stessin ma point.
“Then, what were you doin at a bar on Corona Avenue?” James asked.
“That’s my business, you pale face motherfuckuh. Don’t worry about it!”
“You’re right. That is your business. So I won’t worry about it. Instead, I’ll handle mine. All right? And my business is all about figuring out what the fuck happened at the Smooth Umbrella at around 10:30pm on a goddamn weeknight.”
“So why are you asking me!?” I shouted, raising my voice to match his.
“Because you literally puked all over the hood of my Buick!” He said, squinting his eyes and moving his chair closer.
“What? You wanna a special certificate? You want a cookie for being dragged down here? You’re an adult, princess. Get your shit together and answer my goddamn questions! And let me tell you. You better drop the attitude before I run an intoxilyzer on ya ass. Toss a DUI in your lap. Yeah! Believe me, princess. That shits hard to get off your record. Mugshots all over the goddamn internet. Good luck picking up a guy who Google searches ya ass. Try me.”
Detective Patrick James. I saw from his badge that he was a senior officer and from the way he switched it up on me, I can see why. Caucasian, but he could talk like a nigga if he wanted to. Didn’t blame him. In fact, I respected it. I don’t like talking to cops or suits but James got raw on me all the sudden. Made me smile. But if he ain’t stop waving that muthafuckin pen all up in my face, they might had to be somethin.
“Tell me what happened, Michelle. Start from the beginning, alright. Tell me what you saw.” James said as he moved a Dixie cup of coffee my way.