Stage In The Sky

Last night, I went to dinner with the leader of the church group under the pretense that he wanted to discuss a question I asked. Things didn’t go so great… 

Allow me to begin by laying out the sentiments of Romans Chapter 14. If you read that chapter, the jest of it is how Christians shouldn’t be quarreling over these differences of opinions when it comes to our faith or belief.  

Verse 13 says, “Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.” 

What I love about that chapter is that 1) it takes the pressure off of you stronger Christians when it comes to trying so hard to make another Christian believe the way you believe. And 2) it should reduce/eliminate arguments between us as humans since the main person we need to answer to is God. 

Last night, I found myself having to defend my faith to two Christian men in the bedroom/office of their home after a happy loving meal. It’s been seven months since I joined this group. I’ve been attending meetings, fellowshipping, and even going to social events like birthday parties. 

Last night, they said. “Rock, I really appreciate the question you asked during our last meeting about ‘how does a person know if they’re sick’ and in need of healing. And we realized, we really don’t know what you believe when it comes to your faith. So, what are you? Are you a Christian?”  

If I could go back and put a camera in that room, you’d get that even though their questions seemed harmless…the whole thing felt like an interrogation. I’m not exaggerating.

I said, “Yep, I’m a Christian. I believe Jesus Christ is our lord and savior who died for our sins. I read the entire Bible twice now and I believe in it. So, I repented for my former lifestyle and strive to do what’s good in God’s eyes to the best of my ability.” 

I even went into my history with the Jehovah’s Witnesses and how it was the false dilemma fallacy that I suffered through in my teens that made me hate organized religions for a long time. For those who don’t know, the False Dilemma Fallacy I had to contend with is, “If you don’t worship God/Jehovah the way we do, then you’re wrong and you’re living a worldly lifestyle. As in, if you don’t worship the way we worship then you’re not with God, you’re actually with Satan.”  

Now…there are two big reasons why I chose to divulge this information to these Christians last night. 

1) I know a deceptive confrontation when I see it. I’m talking about when people come under the pretense of good intentions. They’ll say things like, “we just want to get to know you better,” but really, there’s ulterior motives, an underlining agenda/plan at work here. 

2) It was a warning…a tacit warning, politely begging them not to do what the oppressive Christians of the past have done. 

So, let me give you a little background info on the main Christian confronting me. He’s a 60-year-old white man we’ll call Henry. Henry is a jolly big guy with a big heart, a granddad, and a former marine who’s had to overcome a lot of hardships.

I think he means well, but there are some things I’ve taken note of. And before you think I’ve over-analyzed the guy, I over-analyze EVERYONE I’m drawing close to. That’s just the kind of person I am, subconsciously creating a profile on everyone in my mind.  

For starters, He’s not discreet. He’s the one who responded to my reading to Pastor John MacArthur’s words about Baptism and said, “that guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” I couldn’t help but think, who does Henry think he is? 

Henry’s constantly stressing how you can’t “take from or add to the Bible” and yet, he co-signs other Christian authors as if their opinions are Gospels, including dialogue he’s seen in that TV show “The Chosen” when some of the written dialogue aren’t anywhere in the Bible.  

Last night, there were a number of times in his argument where he’d say, “Rock, I only go by what the Scriptures say. We can’t rely on feelings.”  

That sounds nice and proper. He’s drawing from Proverbs 3:5. But then why ask the follow up question of, “What do you think the Scripture means?” Could it be that we actually do have to consider how we personally FEEL about what we’re reading? By feel, I’m talking about our interpretation, what we THINK it means.

It seems to be a common tactic to say “I only go by what the Scriptures say” to back the other person into a corner with the logic of, “I’m the one going by what God says. What are you doing?”  

It’s a surface level argument and if the person isn’t willing to sit back and at least attempt to understand the other person’s point of view, it’s futile conversation to have.  

With Henry, after our disagreement about Baptisms in April, I was still on the fence about whether I considered this to be “my church,” as if I’d finally found a home. Henry is not the main Pastor, but a church leader of the region I seem to be a part of. This is his flock. I’m just the visitor.  

So, I come to listen and soak in other people’s interpretations and insight. Because I honestly do enjoy that part. But with Henry…even though we had that disagreement months ago, he’s constantly bringing it up and stressing that False Dilemma Fallacy, where if you don’t agree with him then you’re not really a Christian. I just sit there and take it. I don’t agree, but I don’t voice my opposition. I just listen and wait till we move on.

And listen, I understand that I can come off stubborn and a bit too hardheaded for my own good. But with God as my witness, I do have a track record of taking a step back and considering whether I may be wrong. Here’s some examples: 

– In my 20s, my brother accused me of not putting God first. He claimed I was putting my writing career first. I was angry. I had words with him. But he was right. It took some time but I changed and now I endeavor to put God first. 

– When I was 30-31, I met with a Lutheran pastor who open my eyes to the common Christian belief that Jehovah and Jesus Christ are the exact same person, like one singular entity. That was huge. It took two years of research and contemplating the scriptures and I’ve concluded that Jesus Christ is indeed the Son of God sitting at the Right Hand of God.  

Meaning, Jehovah God is a separate entity. I believe they are “one” the same way the Scriptures say that husbands and wives become one in marriage. (Mark 10:8). I believe similarly, Jehovah and Jesus are “one” in union, equality, and authority. 

– The Sabbath. When I was 34, I watched a documentary produced by the Seventh Day Adventists where they make some strong arguments about why Christians should still be keeping that Sabbath. If I’m not mistaken, they even go so far as to say “You’ll know you’re saved by the mark. The mark is demonstrated by those who keep the Sabbath.” (correct me if I’m wrong any Adventists out there) 

After hearing their beliefs, I considered whether I was wrong for NOT celebrating the Sabbath. I took some time. Did some research. Prayed and asked for guidance and concluded that I don’t share their beliefs. I don’t think they’re “wrong,” it’s just their interpretation of the Scriptures. 

These examples should demonstrate that I’m not above self-reflection, that I’m not a “know it all” where nobody can’t tell me nothin’.  

But the thing is, these questions, being unsure about what to believe…to a man such as myself there is a great deal of turmoil in it. You want to do what’s good in God’s eyes. You don’t want to be wrong. And having these uncertainties lingering in your mind can be a bit of a stumbling block.  

But that’s alright. With each question, I did my due diligence and navigated through rough seas to reach a destination on my personal beliefs and convictions. This is not easy.  

On the issue of Baptism, it was the same thing. I wrote a whole essay about it. And if you think I’m gonna burn in hell because I’m wrong in my beliefs, I’m prepared to accept that outcome if that’s how God judges me. This is Conviction. I put my life in God’s hands. I hold myself accountable to Him. Not humans.  

When I was confronted by Henry and another Christian last night, I really didn’t appreciate it. I came for dinner and to discuss a different topic. Had Henry asked me, “Rock, do you want to come over for dinner so we can discuss our opinions on Baptism?” 

With respect, I would’ve said “No thank you, sir.” Why? Because I already know where he stands and I don’t think either of us is going to change the other’s mind. This would’ve been MUTUAL RESPECT.  

When they asked me, “What are you? Are you a Christian?” It felt like my faith was put on trial. And now, I had to make the case to these humans how much I truly believed in God’s word the Bible. 

Even as I replay the conversation, it really is just sad because I really did like this church group. I love the other members. They’re so nice, caring, and down to earth. As I tried to make my case, part of me felt like I was begging to be accepted. As in, “Please let me stay with you guys.” 

But as the conversation dragged out, that sentiment shifted from “please don’t kick me out of the church” to “I need to get the hell out of here”. 

When he asked, “So what did you do to become a Christian?” The question kinda staggered me because I already explained my Christian journey, how I read the entire Bible in two years, and it changed my life.

For those scoring at home, the red flag was when they didn’t seem impressed or commend me for having read the ENTIRE Bible. Not just bits and pieces. Not just various scriptures memorized for safe-keeping. But the whole thing. They just kept staring as if they were looking for something else.

It was in that moment that I recognized what was happening.  The whole night was a coordinated plan in which everyone was in on it. I remember after dinner, the wife suggested us men go into the home office for a conversation that hadn’t even started yet. Strange…why would she suggest that? 

To their credit, Henry did claim he wanted to “get to know me better”…but I don’t believe for one second that there was any intent to simply respect that “this is Rock. Now we have a greater understanding of who he is and accept that he’s free to believe what he wants.”  

That would’ve been my goal with a Christian I’m trying to get to know. But no. Last night there was an agenda to push his beliefs on me. And so…I got angry. Mainly at myself, because I should’ve known better. I put myself in this situation, so I did my level best to work my way through this uncomfortable challenge. 

Henry asked, “So, Rock. What did you do to become a Christian?” 

I told him, “It was a choice. I chose to believe.” 

He said, “Yes, but what does the Bible say you need to do become a Christian?” 

That’s when I more or less said, “Okay, so how about we just cut to the chase and you get to the whole point of this conversation. You want to talk about Baptism, right? You believe that to be a Christian we must be a follower of Christ. And if we love Christ then we keep his commandments. And Christ tells us to get Baptized. Thus, if we don’t get Baptized, then we’re not really a follower of Christ, right?”  

That was basically it. And I was able to articulate it just like that because Henry’s repeated the same thing over and over again for weeks, constantly trying to bait me into an argument about it when we’ve already been through this!

In my essay about Baptism, I don’t disparage or slight Henry for his beliefs. I understand why he and others would take their stance. There are strong arguments to justify their beliefs. At the same time, there are strong arguments to justify mine. What I don’t appreciate, however, is the lack of mutual respect. 

I get that I’m supposedly the young “whippersnapper”. He may think that I’m just a new guy. But when it comes to my faith and knowledge of God, I am not a novice. Jeremiah 9:24 says, “but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.”

I’ve already talked about “arrogance“. So I don’t think I’m that. There were plenty and I mean PLENTY of meetings where I heard something I disagreed with and just held my tongue. But when you ask for my opinion or want to hear what I think…I’m going to tell you. Sometimes, I might give a warning if I know it’ll go against the grain.

And the thing is, I don’t NEED community and fellowship the way most people do. I was worshiping and drawing close to God all by myself for years and I loved it.

The main reason why I joined a church group to begin with is because I’m looking for a Christian wife. After seven months of being with this church group, I haven’t met any viable prospects. But because I really do love some of the other members, they really are good people, I was willing to stick with this group in the hopes of God blessing me with someone who happens to come across my path in the near future.

“Well, Rock maybe you should talk to Henry about all this instead of writing and essay and publishing it for the world to see…” 

That sounds like an awesome plan…if I could trust that he’d listen, understand, and respect that there are Christians who have a different opinion. I may not agree with everything Jehovah’s Witnesses or Catholics believe, but I would never tell them “You’re wrong” or “You don’t know what you’re talking about” unless they explicitly asked.

Henry is a 60-year-old man who’s lived a full life. He’s not changing his personality. Any further conversations would devolve into an argument where he’d fire off Scriptures. We’d disagree on the interpretation and it would never end until I lied and conceded just to make him feel like he’s won me over.  

I have several aunts who are like that… 

When I left last night, I shook their hands and gave them half-hugs before making my exit. I suspect he’s told the others, “Well, I tried to show Rock the Scriptures, but he’s relying too much on his feelings. He didn’t even want to read the Bible. I asked him to go get his Bible, but he just wanted me to read it.”  

Which…would only be partially true. 1) my feelings are my convictions. I believe every Christian should have them if they’re based on what they’ve read in the Bible.  

And 2, I didn’t want to read the Bible in the moment (interrogation) because I was upset and felt disrespected. Also, I’m not a fan of conversations where Christians are quizzing you like you’re in a classroom. “What does God say about this? What do you think that means? What’s he telling us right here?” 

That’s not why I came last night. So, I politely asked him, “Hey, can you please just tell me what you think. I really don’t like these kind of conversations because I suspect there’s a point you’re really trying to make. I’d appreciate it if you just shared that point.” 

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m not usually like this in my conversations with people. But again, last night was really not cool. Last night, I walked into a test of my faith.

He said, “Well, I’d like you to read the Bible with me because I don’t want to be accused of misleading you…” 

I said, “Sir, you don’t have to worry about that. I’m responsible for myself. I’m not going to think you’re lying to me. And at the very least, I’m going to reflect and come to my own conclusions regardless of what you tell me.” 

Last night wasn’t great. Should’ve seen it coming.