Stage In The Sky

Recently I saw an old crush who had let herself go. I remember how beautiful she used to be. I was planning on hitting the gym that night…but honestly felt a bit discouraged after that. I thought to myself, “what’s the point”?

Brace yourself…I’m going to say a lot of things that’s not exactly nice to hear. But it’s a reality I think a lot of people either deny or ignore.

For the past few years, men have taken a beating thanks to assholes in Hollywood like Harvey Weinstein. I think the only men not affected wave of outrage are ones who were already married or don’t watch the news. For years, we’ve been hearing it, “Men need to get right. Men need to step up!”

In one of my last essays, I wrote about how “Godly Men Don’t Care About Money”. But we still love women. They are one of my main sources of motivation. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t need a beautiful woman to want to better myself.  But it’s like the train was already on the tracks, moving non-stop, and the idea of being with a beautiful woman served as coal to the flames to crank it up full-steam ahead.

Beautiful…That’s the key. Or rather it used to be before pop culture started trying to make us feel bad for putting so much value on a woman’s looks. Shallow. Superficial, we’re called. However, from what I’ve seen, women openly praise other women for their looks, even more than they compliment men unless it’s a man that every other woman has already complimented and deemed to be “hot.” It’s all about encouragement that they’re feeding each other. And that’s cool to an extent.

But if I want to be an Olympic sprinter and I spend all my time eating junk food and playing video games…are people really helping me by saying things like, “Yeah, you’re on track! You’re gonna get gold! Good for you!” without pointing out that I should probably get out and practice running?

I know Hollywood and society’s trying so hard to have us believe your beauty shouldn’t matter. That we should care more about your degree, your job, or how much money you make. However, courtship is a selection process. Your beauty is one of the main answers to the question of, “Why you?”

Yes, you’ll hear intellectually dishonest answers like, “Oh, she’s so smart and funny…” But we all know that’s just playing it safe. I know plenty of smart and funny women but I wouldn’t pursue any of them romantically…Not as they are.

I know all this might sound harsh. But remember…lies are enticing specifically because they sound nice and easy, exactly what we want to hear. Remember the father of the lie. This essay goes out to single Millennials. To encourage you to embrace the truth. Better to do it now before you look back on your youth and realize, you wasted it. Or in some cases, spent it on the wrong person. Now then…let’s begin.

They say, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

They say, you can’t judge a book by its cover.

There’s a lot of sayings when it comes to beauty. Is any of it true? Or are they just pleasant words to put the mind at rest?

If you’ve been following my blog for some time, then you know one of my biggest accomplishments in life is that I was able to lose 178lbs. I went from 378 to 220 in the span of four years (21-25) through the hard work and eating better. It wasn’t easy. Let me emphasize…IT WAS NOT EASY. But during that time, my lifestyle changed. Hard work became my lifestyle.

A couple months back, I was at a work function surrounded by kind, respectable ladies when they marveled at my before-and-after pictures. And they asked…

“Rock, what motivated you to get in the gym and start losing weight?”

I looked around with visible caution. And as humbly as I could, I simply told them: “…Women…”

(You might want to bookmark this. It’s a long read)

Thankfully, these ladies didn’t take offense to my revelation. But then again, it makes sense. One of the ladies was a dedicated Christian like me. Another was from the upcoming Generation-Z, which I don’t think buys into the “woke” media narratives as much as my own Millennial generation. And the other ladies were much older than myself, in their 40s and 50s. There’s a reason why I’m pointing out these details, and I’m trying to use tact here, because I really don’t want to offend anyone.

But let’s be honest…a lot of these “movements” like “self-love” and “body-positivity”…the act of absolving one’s self of shame when it comes to victim shaming, slut shaming, fat shaming, and even the MeToo Movements…it’s done some good, yes…but just like the Christians who have abused and used Christianity as a tool to control and oppress others for the sake of self-promotion, these current movements have done a world of hurt to a generation who willingly believe the lies because 1) it sounds good, 2) it’s easy, and 3) it pushes responsibility away from the individual. And by responsibility, I’m not just talking about “blame,” but also the duty to take action.

What do I mean?

Well, my brother put it eloquently a few years back when he told me that people don’t like to critically think things through. Because if they thought for themselves, instead of relying on what someone else told them, then they’d have to take responsibility for their conclusions.

And that’s what people fear. Being wrong and having no one to blame but themselves. But if there’s someone else to blame, like society, police, Trump, religion…well, I suppose it’s easier to sleep at night. Your conscience is clear. It’s not your fault. You were fooled. You were misled. …Poor you…

Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder…

I won’t go so far as to say that’s complete nonsense, instead, I’d like to expand the interpretation of that phrase. Mind you, these are all just opinions. I could be wrong.

I believe everyone on earth is capable of possessing beauty. That’s right. Everyone, regardless of your genetics and even birth defects. Everyone is indeed beautiful. I’ve seen it. I see glimpses of it. I see potential of it. But even jewels pulled from the earth need  work to show off their full potential. If you pluck a diamond from the ground, it’s blemished, its dirty. It needs to be cleaned and molded to possess that beauty we think of when it comes to diamonds.

You Can’t Judge a Book By It’s Cover…

Yes, you can. Sometimes you may be wrong, sure. But the more wisdom and experience you gain in life will definitely increase your discerning eye. Earlier, I mentioned that I used to weigh 378lbs. What does that tell you about me? Think about it.

Yes, you could give me the benefit of the doubt, that maybe I had a medical problem. Because there are legit cases that lead to weight gain. I’m not denying that in the slightest. I have family members who suffer from such cases, so I don’t want to take away from that.

But if you push away your reticence and acknowledge the elephant in the room…you’ll land on the obvious truth: I ate way too much and didn’t get enough exercise. And you’d be correct. I used to eat a whole pizza every night and guzzle it down with Dr Pepper and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. It’s a miracle I don’t have diabetes now.

When they say you can’t judge a book by its cover, its misleading. Unless the person’s wearing a mask, disguise, or is straight-up a sociopath…you can absolutely come to some reasonable deductions about a person. I ballooned up to 378lbs because I was a glutton. What’s on the inside, shows on the outside.

We’re given wisdom for a reason. I don’t understand why we’re so keen to turn down the volume on logic for this foolish notion of “hoping for the best”. But I digress.

“Okay, Rock. Whatever. You say women motivated you. How? Did you have a girlfriend in mind? Are you so desperate to impress everyone?”

When I used to weigh 378lbs, I had serious self-esteem issues. I’m already 6’3, so I was pretty much the biggest dude in the class. I had a feeling that everyone was afraid of me. No one wanted to be around me. Both girls and guys. When I went out in public, I felt people staring. And more importantly, I saw the kind of guys other girls were attracted to.

“Hold up, Rock! Some girls like big men! You ever think of that?!”

What are the odds? Again, be effing honest. This was back when I was 21-years-old. In college. Of the entirety of my peers, women in the age range of 19-23, what percentage do you think would honestly be interested in fat men with little to no self-esteem?

I like to use the Fisher’s Net analogy here. Wherever you are in life when it comes to how you look…how large is your net? Meaning, of your potential mates, how many of them would be interested in you as you look right now?

For me. At 21, six-foot-three at 378lbs pounds…my net was only as wide as the percentage of women who were attracted to fat, low-confidence men.

But the more you build yourself up, the more you work on yourself, hitting the gym, becoming physically fit, that net widens so that you have more options, more fish you catch in your net. Because, yes, while some women do like fat burly men. I’m willing to bet a majority of the population all have “physically fit” included in their preferences. Some could like “fat men” and “physically fit”. Some could like “skinny” and “physically fit”. Either way, physically fit is usually a default yes. You’re increasing your chances of attracting a woman.

That’s what I’m talking about here. Attraction is that first step, that thing that gets your attention and makes you interested in wanting to get to know someone, to be around them. For men, when you’re in school, it’s extremely important…because it’s all you really got to work with. When you get older, you’ll have other things besides your looks that will be seen as attractive, like your drive, your strength, the safety and security you provide, your money, status, resources, ambitions, etc.

And mind you, this isn’t to complain. I believe women have every right to be attracted to who they’re attracted to. If you don’t like black men, or if you only date white guys, that’s all right. It’s your prerogative and you shouldn’t feel bad about that regardless what society’s telling you.

At the same time, men have every right to be attracted to who we’re attracted to. When I was in college, weighing as much as I did, I had two girls express their affection for me. But both were overweight, not as big as me, but still fat…And I’m sorry, but I don’t find obesity attractive.

“Hang on, Rock! How can you get mad at them for being fat when you were fat?”

Believe it or not, I’ve heard that before and it never made sense to me. Why do people assume that because I’m fat, I’ll be attracted to someone else who’s fat? Or, because I’m a writer, I’ll get along with someone else who’s a writer. Where’s the logic there? That like-minded people will get along? Would Napoleon have gotten along with another Napoleon in his army?

Don’t get me wrong, I have been attracted to thick women (who are usually athletic) and I do get along with a lot of writers…but it wasn’t solely because they were thick, or because they were a writer. There are usually more factors than that.

And more importantly, even though I wasn’t “attracted” to those overweight women, I still saw the beauty in them. That’s what I’m trying to stress. Just because a person appears too fat, or too skinny, or whether they’re suffering from an addiction or any ailment that takes away from such beauty…I can still see the potential. And perhaps, because I was able to improve myself and turn my life around, I linger to the hope that anyone can do it.

My very first girlfriend at the age of 18 was of the plump variety. I’ve known her for a year before we started dating and in that first year, I never ever…EVER thought I’d end up going out with her based on her looks. But then she made her affections known. She was there, in my life, my world, with me. I took a chance on her because, immaturely, I wanted to be able to say, “I have a girlfriend.”

And then, within the span of at least 3 weeks, her charm…it did something to me where…like a spell, this girl had become the most beautiful woman in the world to me. She changed up her appearance to show me that she was actually kind of sexy. Modest women don’t show that from the get-go, so I found her very intriguing (stimulating).

With an experience like that so early in life, how could I not have the same hope when I see other women who at first glance don’t look anything like you’d catch on a centerfold.

“Why are looks so important to men!? I don’t understand!”

Of course, you don’t. You’re not a man. I don’t say that to be demeaning, but let’s be real here. We men really are simple-minded. Food, shelter, water. The essentials. If something looks good, we want it. If we don’t have the means to acquire it, we’ll work for it ONLY IF we think it’s worth it.

The thing we have to ask ourselves as individuals…”Am I worth it?” If so, why? Are you what you think someone else would want? What kind of person would want you? Who are you attracting? Forget the compliments your parents told you. Forget the nice things your friends are telling you. Forget Instagram. Fuck Facebook. Look at yourself. Why would another human being want to be a part of your life? Are the benefits of being with you worth the risk of a breakup, divorce, rejection, losing custody of children, alimony, being accused of sexual harassment, being accused of making someone feel uncomfortable? Do you really think you possess the qualities that a man is willing to work for and risk in this day in age?

Fear not. I’m here to tell you on behalf of all men (excluding MGTOW and some Red Pill communities) that beauty is worth it.

Beauty is the thing that attracts us to women. Yes, beauty fades, but not in the eyes of the one who loves you. In that link, I explain how I was blessed with role models of couples who have been married for well over forty years. And if you’d ask them who the most beautiful person in the world is, they’d answer it’s their spouse. That’s love. But first things first. In order for love to cultivate, we need to be attracted to each other.

Yes, sometimes, attraction does come in the form of charm and personality. To date, I know of one woman who I wasn’t attracted to physically, but fell in love with her personality. However, I think our current generation is getting a bit carried away. It seems that society is pushing women to focus more on a strong-independent personality and careers…and less about their looks and those old fashion qualities that have attracted men for ages.

I have a theory about why this is happening. It relates to a lot of these female celebrities, professional athletes and CEOs talking about how they want to reach out to other women and empower these women to be just like them…just like other female celebrities, athletes, and CEOs.

But what if I told you that these female celebrities, CEOs, and professional athletes…they’re not normal?

Easy. Calm down. Let me explain. We men face the same issues when it comes to our male celebrities telling us how we should live, what “real men” should do. I’ll never forget one of my favorite comedy specials. Eddie Murphy’s “Raw”. (warning, vulgar language)

In the special, Eddie Murphy breaks down a lot of “truths” about men and women and relationships. But to the discerning mind, one can acknowledge that those “truths” are perspectives the way he sees it. Just as this little essay is the truth as I see it.

Eddie Murphy tells the raucous audience that all men fool around. He says it’s in a man’s nature to have sex with other women and conquer as much sex as we can get. We are low by nature and have to do it. Hey, they’re just jokes, right?

I doubt it. Moreover, since the advent of social media, we’re seeing celebrities dictate to us what’s cool and what’s lame. What’s right and what’s wrong. I don’t blame Eddie Murphy for saying what he said. I believe that, in his world, it makes sense for him to come to those conclusions. If you’re surrounded by players and men who have to sleep around, it makes sense that you’d think all men are like that.

On the same token, I don’t blame the female CEOs, professional athletes, and celebrities for wanting to inspire other women to be like them. But in the same way Eddie Murphy isn’t normal, I warrant these female CEOs aren’t normal either. They’re extraordinary. Extra-ordinary. My point being, is that they don’t represent the majority. And most women can’t, nor will they ever be like them.

“You’re contradicting yourself, Rock! You lost a lot of weight and you’re assuming everyone else can do it too? What if you’re extraordinary?”

I don’t believe that. I’m sorry, but I’m not convinced it’s extraordinary to lose weight and stay physically fit. I think it’s 10x more extraordinary and remarkable to become the CEO of a Fortune 500 company. And if it’s amazing for a male. I think it’s even more so for a woman because males by nature are more dominant, competitive, and aggressive. Thus, it’s tougher for a woman. Thus, extraordinary. Not many could do it.

“Are you saying they shouldn’t even try!?”

Why would you even want to? Just stop and think about that for a moment.

We see Beyonce and Michelle Obama and all these strong female leaders empowering women and that’s all great. Honestly. However, I do wish they’d put more emphasis, not on the results…but the hard work that went into achieving those results. It wasn’t easy. Long sleepless nights. The stress. The sacrifice. The toll it took on their bodies, their mentality, their happiness. It’s awesome to have them as your role models, but you can’t claim their results without accepting the conditions of it.

Beyonce looks amazing. Beyonce works hard. I’ve seen two documentaries about her and in each of them, the main takeaway is her relentless drive. She’s constantly practicing. Active. Working out. Staying fit and healthy.

We see all these female celebrities talking about how women should accept themselves the way they are and not worry about this world’s stigmas that come with beauty. Alicia Keys. Miley Cyrus. Taylor Swift. All of them say this…but know damn well if they don’t take care of their looks, it would affect their careers. Or worse, if they didn’t look as good as they did, would anyone even really care what they had to say?

“Hold up! What about Adele!?”

Who? Haha! I kid. I kid. More importantly, why are you trying to go against the grain of nature? All animals, all creatures on earth have mechanisms used to attract a mate. Some use pheromones. Some sit back and watch as their males battle it out, like rams, horses, lions, gorillas etc. Some, like the lovely Birds of Paradise, put on elaborate dances and show off the God-given beauty of, guess what…they’re looks.

For humans, it’s the same thing. You know it in your heart to be true. The main reason why we’re fighting against it so much is because it takes work. And we get jealous. And even “beauty” isn’t equal so it seems like life’s not fair. Like everything in today’s modern world, we’re trying to make everything so convenient and easy. We’re fed a pack of lies in thinking we can do whatever we want, live however we want, look any way we want, and everyone will just love and accept us regardless.

It’s not too late to turn your life around…if you want to. Because that’s a huge factor in whether or not you do. I mentioned the beauty that comes along with being physical fit, but there’s also long-term benefits such as being around to see your grandchildren and staying productive in the job market without being dependent on the government.

I wanted to turn my life around. So I did. It wasn’t easy. It hurt. It was hot and sweaty and I could feel the pain in my shins, thighs, and my back. For years, it seemed pointless. When you weigh 378lbs and drop to 350, it doesn’t look like anything’s changed. So what’s the point? Why did I keep going?

“Women.”

No, I don’t worship women, but they inspire me. Their beauty inspires me. When I was 21 and started working out, I’d be on the treadmill, thinking about women. I’d daydream about impressing them as part of a rock group or boyband. I dreamed of putting on talent shows with my crushes in the front row. I dreamed of movies where I was the hero, protecting, rescuing my damsel. I dreamed of marriage. I dreamed of a family. I dreamed of raising valiant children who followed our lead to become the best in their respective fields.

The beauty of a woman is like the marvel of the night’s sky. Constellations and star dust, with the moon and planets twinkling, captivating, mesmerizing, inspiring awe and wonder. Beauty is the light. I dreamed of being blessed with waking up to a beautiful wife everyday. Her beauty would propel me to go to work and do my best, providing purpose and a drive to provide for my family, making sure their peace and prosperity was taken care of.

But…just as beauty is one of life’s ultimate sources of motivations…sadly…unsightly (ugly) women are surprisingly discouraging. I say surprising, because it’s not something one usually thinks of when it comes to dampening their spirits. But it’s something I discovered.

Before I elaborate, I have to say, this might hurt some feelings. If your heart is pricked already, you should stop reading.

Also, a reminder that women and men are different. What a woman finds attractive in a man…it is not the same as what men find attractive in women. Harkens to the joke of:

When men tell their guy friends about their new girlfriend, men ask, “Really? What does she look like?”

But when women tell their girl friends about their new boyfriend, women ask, “Really? What does he do?”

Living in a world where my female peers no longer care so much about their appearance…or rather, they stopped caring what men think about their appearance…No…it’s not even that, is it? Because I’m on Instagram. Sometimes, I’ll see a picture of a dangerously obese women with cellulite galore, get hit with thousands of likes.

So is it just me? Lol, here’s what I think is happening. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think the mainstream movements have affected our society so well that more men are willing to accept just anything at this point when it comes to getting a girlfriend and being in a relationship. Recently, there was a World Star Post that said:

That picture had nearly a million likes. And I think it speaks so much truth. Even now. Honestly, I like to think I’m a high 7 in terms of my looks, and higher when it comes to my charm (clearly modesty isn’t one of them). But soooooo many times, I’ve thought about a few ladies in my world who were 2s and 3s because I saw the potential of their beauty and was enamored by their personalities. I thought to myself, “she would make an amazing wife and a loving mother.” But damn if it doesn’t look like their beauty is fading with each passing day.

I’m not saying I’m surrounded by ugly women. I need to make that clear. But I have this code about not coveting another man’s wife or girlfriend, or single mothers.

Recently, I was reminded of this, which prompted me to write this essay. There’s a woman I’ve known for a number of years. My heart genuinely calls for her. I do think she’d be an amazing mother and a good wife and I love her sense of humor, the kind of woman who’d make even the most tragic hardships lighter.

But my heart ached when I saw her after so long. She had let herself go when it comes to weight and appearance. Sadly, she fits the stereotype of how they say some women will become cat ladies. And if she’s happy, all power to her.

But to me, it was demotivating, like taking the wind out of my sails. I think this is probably how women feel about men fat unsightly men too. No? And of course, not all unsightly women do this to me…just the ones where I can sense they’re attracted to me, and while I’m attracted to their personalities…you have to be pleasing to the eye. Really, it’s like “Awww! You’re an amazing person. I’d love to go out with you. But darlin…I’m sorry, I can’t accept you the way you are?”

“Well, if she works out just to please you, she’ll only gain it back once she’s got you.”

Gosh…that’s sad if it’s true. What’s on the inside, shows on the outside. If she looks like this now, where will she be in five-ten years? More importantly, if we got together, how depressing would it be to her if she saw me constantly trying to better my life, always working out, saving up, thinking about a future?

“Well, Rock! Maybe you could inspire her to get in better shape? Have you thought about that?”

Yes. And how? I know for a fact that one of her closest friends is trying to get in better shape for the sake of his children. You’d think that rub off on her, but no. Also, in today’s PC culture, are you kidding me?

I once had another friend who asked me to help her lose weight. I told her that if she wants me to help her, I planned on taking it seriously. Routine is the key so I was going to push her to hit the gym no matter what. This led to arguments and attitude from her. Once upon a time, a woman told you “no,” but you wouldn’t give up on her because you’re her friend and know it’ll pay off. Now, if a woman tells me “no”…I back off and maintain distance.

The last thing I need is someone calling me into their office talking about, “Yeah, So and so said that you’re pressuring them to lose weight. That’s fat-shaming and we’ll have none of it here in my company.”

“Well, why didn’t you go out with her years ago before she let herself go?”

Because back then, she was always surrounded by dudes, the comic book convention kind. Not hating on fandoms, but the point is, when a girl I’m interested in is always hanging around a group of guys in a seemingly closed-knit circle of friends…it doesn’t exactly make me want to draw closer to her. The most I’ll do is toss hints of my affection and if she isn’t savvy enough to pick up on it, no hard feelings but off I go.

Either way…seeing her as unsightly as she was got me thinking. Lol, because I hit the gym as per usual but I lacked that gusto, that fire to really hit it. Like, doing bench presses took more effort than usual. I had to really exert myself.

“What? Does it usually come easy?”

Honestly…Yeah it does. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll add more weight when I get too adjusted to the reps. But there’s always this fire inside that pushes me to ignore the pain and strain on my muscles to get through it. Even on the drive home, I just had an apathetic attitude. It got me thinking how much I appreciated Instagram.

Hahaha! I know, Instagram? This essay suddenly took a sharp turn.

Instagram helps remind me that beautiful women exist. They’re out there. You just gotta keep working on you, be patient, and if it’s good in God’s eyes, he’ll bless you with one of them. The same, if you’re a woman looking for a handsome man. Just keep bettering yourself and have faith. Because we exist. It’s just a matter of time and location.

“Um, no! Instagram models are superficial and unrealistic. You’re setting yourself up for failure if you think most women will look like that!”

The woman in the above photo is not an Instagram model. She’s a hardworking artist like myself. She doesn’t live in New York or Los Angeles and she doesn’t post videos of shaking her ass. She’s just a normal hardworking woman who takes pride in her appearance and is dedicated to her craft. That’s not to say I don’t follow women who aspire to be Instagram models. I’m no hypocrite. Those women make themselves out to be sexual objects and I think they’re aware of it.

Scrolling through pictures of beautiful women is important to me. You might think that’s sad or shallow. But I don’t. There’s just reminders. Almost like the women who use dating apps as daily hits of confidence from the men sending them messages.

When I was so severely demotivated…part of me wondered if I should stop working out. If I should stop working so many long hours to save up and buy a house. I wondered, if I let myself go and stopped caring for the future, maybe it would make me more willing to accept women who have done the same.

Sounds bad doesn’t it. Hard work is my lifestyle. I love it. But it isn’t easy. Reminds me of a couple years ago. When the love of my life left my department after working there for about five years. The next day, I came into work and sat thinking to myself… “Now what?”

“That’s so pathetic, Rock. That you depend so heavily on women and others to get up off your ass and do something.”

Yeah…I used to think the same thing. But for me…it’s an undeniable truth. One I can’t ignore and so I embrace it. Even in my boxing classes, you’ll notice a discernible difference when a gorgeous woman is there participating in a scantily clad outfit. Suddenly, all the guys are exerting themselves more, hitting harder, running faster in our laps. It’s not out of anger. We’re just inspired! We see a beautiful woman and think, “Wow, I hope I can get with someone like her one day!”

I don’t think it’s pathetic. If that’s pathetic, then so is everyone’s need for gas to get their car running.

It sounds like I give women a hard time in my essays, but that’s because I truly feel they have so much power, much more than they realize. Ever since the dawn of antiquity, it’s been men’s desire to please and protect women. It only doesn’t “look like that” because once upon a time, Men put the will of God above their need to please women.

Nowadays, people are being taught that all this was a problem. That this was part of the “patriarchy” designed to oppress women and keep them down. Thus, men have been tricked into putting women before God. If you’re asking yourselves, “how?” I encourage you to start reading my “Paramour Letters” stories. In particular, Letter 6. “The Hopeless Commander.”

If the first man, Adam, has taught us anything, things go wrong when we put our own desires over the will of God. I plan on writing an essay soon, about how much God really loves women more than they think, because I really think there’s a prevalent notion that God doesn’t love women as much as he loves men. As if, because of Eve’s blunder, God sees women as something beneath men, which I think couldn’t be further from the truth.

We’ve gone to wars for women. Guilty and innocent men have been lynched all in the name of honoring women. Men break laws and risk their lives to impress women. We risk rejection, being called creeps, and being accused of sexual harassment or making a woman feel “uncomfortable”…for women.

“UM NO! You’re doing all of that for sex. It’s for you. Not because you care about women!”

Yeah, you’re right. Women don’t like sex and they all want to stay single all their lives. My bad. Keep forgetting. Yes, that’s sarcasm because you’re point is dishonest and you know it. I never said that we’re doing all that for women with the hopes of no rewards. But our “rewards” are honorable. Or rather, they should be.

Like when you give something freely out of the kindness of your heart, you get a good feeling from knowing it’s well received. The joy, the grateful attitude is what you get in return. So when someone receives it in a bad way, it hurts, whether it’s a little or a lot. Doesn’t mean we’re not generous for wanting to feel good about giving.

Alright… I can go on and on. Feels like I’m rambling. I’ll stop it here.

Hopefully, I’ve provided a buffet when it comes to food for thought. Sorry it’s so long.