Stage In The Sky

Recently, Eboni K. Williams, a popular internet figure and former Real Housewife, created waves by announcing to the world that she chose to be a Single Mother via IVF. 

That’s right. You read it correctly. She didn’t end up a single mother by mistake. She didn’t “choose the wrong guy.” She wasn’t the victim of some deadbeat or a guy who ended up cheating on her which led to her outcome as a single mother. 

Eboni K. Williams willingly chose to bring a child into this world without a father. This is a problem. 

“Hang on, Rock! It’s her body! It’s her choice. She’s a mature grown woman with the finances to take care of this child’s every need, so why do you care? Why is everyone all up in her business about what she’s free to do?  

“Her choosing to be a single mom has nothing to do with you. I think all of ya’ll are just mad because she’s proving to the world how insignificant and unnecessary men are and y’all just can’t handle that!” 

Wow…just… So yeah, there’s a lot to unpack here. Let’s talk about it.  

Who is Eboni K. Williams? 

For those who don’t know, Eboni K. Williams is a lawyer and social figure. 40 years of age. As mentioned, she was part of one of those Housewife shows and apparently a frequent guest on “The Breakfast Club,” but she really became viral for an interview she gave with Iyanla Vanzant. 

In the video, Eboni talks about her struggles of successful black women finding love in today’s modern times and Iyanla asks her, quite plainly, “would you date a bus driver?” 

With the most contemptable look, of which can only be described as a child on the playground who refused to share her toys, Eboni said, “If he owns the bus. If he owns the bus.” 

Later, Eboni and other black women like her would go on to elaborate about how they resented the question to begin with. They don’t like this idea that they apparently have to “settle” to find love and romantic companionship. 

And I get it. For decades, the culture’s been pushing women to be more like men, that anything a man can do, a woman can do. And this has affected the Black Community more than other races of Americans, I think because of the welfare system, the Sapphire Caricature that’s pushed through Hollywood and the media, and of course, the turning away from God. 

The problem, as it pertains to Black Women…is that they’ve been pushed to be equal to or do better than the men, which is all well and good, until they run into the conflict of still wanting a man who makes more money than them, has a higher station in life, or can provide a lifestyle that uplifts her beyond her current station. 

Do you see it? You’ve been trained to strive to do better than men. But romantically, you want men who are better than you (at least financially).

Hence, the pride and egos of Eboni K Williams and women like her who simply cannot bring themselves (or lower themselves in their minds) to date a good, god-fearing, faithful man who they deem to be beneath them because they don’t have the same or higher level of finances and status. It’s a sad thing. And it’s why a lot of them are having a hard time finding husbands. 

Selfish Mothers: 

Cutting straight to the chase…I believe women who are willing to be mothers and not wives are selfish because, with children, they still have the authority and autonomy to do whatever they want, live however they want, and not be judged or told what to do by their kids. 

With husbands, you have to cooperate. You have to communicate. You’ll probably be held accountable and called out for your bad decisions. You can’t just go on girls trips with your 304 friends or spend all kinds of money with no foresight to the future.  You are not “free” in the way progressive culture encourages you to be free.

Plain and simple…this is a generation of ladies who simply do not want to grow up (I’m not talking about ALL women). They don’t want to be told what to do. And they’ve been taught that any constructive criticism or prudent advice is misogyny or a way to oppress them, to hold them back. 

All that said, here’s a question. Why do you want to be a mother? Because you can still live your free, liberal lifestyle without the financial burden of a child. So, why bear children? 

It could be because it’s just a biological instinct to want to nurture and raise someone, anyone. Or…it could be because there’s a certain reality, a grim peek into the future of what your life will look like after your City Girl, Hot Summer Days.  

I can’t say for certain as to the specific reason why Eboni K. Williams did this. But drawing on my own experience and observations, I think the biggest reason is that she probably sees her child as an investment. 

And to be honest, I’m not saying it’s completely wrong to see children as investments. The Bible describes children as arrows in a quiver (Psalms 127 3-5). In the old times, parents birthed many children to provide hands/free labor on the farm or family business. King and Queens desired many children to ensure the succession of their dynasty. 

However, in each of these reasons…the parents are two people. Husband and Wife. In most cases, illegitimate children couldn’t claim the throne or inherit the parents property. 

By most accounts, Eboni K Williams is an attractive woman. She could get any man she wanted if she just changed her attitude and adopted a personality that’s more cooperative.  

Ladies, before you get mad at that, you have to understand men. We see the divorce rate. We see the cheating. Yes, men do it too, but a majority of divorces are initiated by Women for reasons that go beyond adultery, it’s mostly irreconcilable differences. 

It makes sense for Men to be dubious when it comes to Modern Americanized women like Eboni because, let’s say we work on our finances and status in life to make ourselves more economically attractive to women like Eboni. What happens if we fall on hard times? What happens if there’s a recession or he gets into an accident so he loses his job and can’t provide like he used to?  

Do you think a woman like Eboni is going to stick around with a man like that? And before you answer with wishful idealistic thinking, you should know that good men (wise men) have seen case after case where Women do leave their men for reasons such as this. 

All of this boils down to selfishness. Eboni and women like her care more about themselves than their men or what’s best for the child.

And I’m not saying that a little selfishness is wrong. You do have to look after yourself, especially if you live in a world where no one else will.  But when it comes to marriage, relationships, and more importantly children who had no say about being brought into this world…being selfish is absolutely detestable. Allow me to explain. 

Hatred for Men, God, and Structure: 

The ladies who think they can raise a child without Men aren’t just showing a disdain for men, but it’s an outright rebellion against God and structure. (Ephesians 5:22-32) 

Without structure, you have chaos. Look at the Stats. Children growing up in a single parent household have the highest likelihood of teen pregnancy, drug dependency, criminality, and poverty. 

And yes, you can blame the Welfare State for this to some degree. For those who don’t know, single mothers were able to get money from the government if there wasn’t a man in the household. I just watched a documentary about Sugar Ray Leonard where he faced negative publicity over his own son in a highly publicized paternity case. 

Interviewees discussed how the government would literally go into homes to see if there was evidence of a grown man living with the woman. If there was, then she couldn’t get welfare. 

Thus, people were incentivized in a way to abolish the idea of family. Even there, I don’t blame the system…I blame the people. There are single mothers who legitimately needed government assistance. There are awful men out there who abandoned their families and walked out on them. 

But that’s not happening in every case. I bring up the welfare state because it’s what began this idea of not needing a family in the household. There was a 1986 CBS report that came out where multiple black impoverished teen mothers admitted that they didn’t think they “needed to be married to be parents.”  

They said, “I grew up without my father. My father wasn’t in the household. So, I don’t think we need them.” 

That’s how the cycle perpetuates. And what’s worse, is that they refuse to admit the correlation between single parent household and crime. Why is that anyone’s business?  

Because we live in a SOCIETY! 

If your child grows up and commits a crime, there will probably a victim, someone who had nothing to do with you and your choice to bring that child into this world. THAT’S WHY it’s our business!

No, I’m not saying everyone who grows up in a single parent household will turn out to be a criminal. I’m not saying that at all.  But compared to children who do grow up in a two-parent household, it’s not even close. 

Understandable Reasons for Criminality: 

I know that sub-heading might sound ridiculous…but I’d argue that a lack of education, morals, and guidance can lead to such outcomes. 

For example, I’m currently watching a documentary on the Supreme Team from the 1980s, where gang members capitalized on the Crack Epidemic in Queens, New York. One of the members said something that struck me as it relates to Single Mothers. 

He said he was born the oldest male of six children. His father wasn’t around. His mother was barely making ends meet, so it was on him to make money and provide for his siblings as a teenager.  

Ladies and Gentlemen, I think that’s very understandable. If you have an opportunity to make a lot of money fast and easy, and you don’t know what God says about theft and murder…or you think that God will forgive you because you’re just doing what you have to do, I understand why Criminals might feel justified in the tough decisions he’s had to choose. 

That kid didn’t ask to be born one of six to parents who could not afford to provide for them. I can’t sit here and hold that kid to the same standard as myself because I was born in a two-parent household. I had that guidance. I had the moral Christian standard. 

I’m not saying Criminals deserve a pass for such reasons. The point I’m making is that the likelihood of this kid taking that path could’ve been reduced if his parents made better decisions.  

The Victims: 

I mentioned the victims because they can’t be overlooked. One of the reasons why Eboni K Williams choice to be a Single Mother bothers me so much is because of the amount of victims attacked by Black kids who, more than likely, are living in single-parent homes. (warning, the video below is very disturbing)  

The above video happened a year ago and it still makes my blood boil. There, you have a couple in Chicago just trying to get to their building and suddenly they’re set upon by black teens who look like thugs (hip hop oriented). 

In this video, you have a family being car-jacked at gun-point by black teens again. And when you watch the video, the Conservative Twins go to the comments to see what people are saying about it.  

It’s not rocket science. Anyone with a shred of common sense can see the trend here. Some of the comments made are, the “usual suspects” and “Why would anyone live around black folks?” 

“But Rock! That’s racist for them to say!”

I don’t think people care anymore. And I don’t blame them. If I had a wife or daughter, I’d want them to exercise safety and precaution over this need to make sure we’re not perceived as racists.

Now you might bring up, “But, Rock. White kids are born in fatherless households too! Why are you acting like this is such a big deal with the black community?” 

Very good question. Here’s one back. When it comes to the culture, music, and portrayals of black people, who are the most celebrated? Which behavior is deemed to be cool and hip, versus “square and lame?” 

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. The reason why this is such a big issue when it comes to black fatherless households, as opposed to white ones…is at least with white people there’s a greater diversity of culture that’s accepted as cool, normal, or niche. You can be into cosplay, the beach, bars, baseball, golf, football, basketball, you can listen to rock, metal, pop, or country and nobody would bat an eye.  

They used to scold you for acting black if you were like Eminem, but even that’s toned down in the last 10 years or so, unless your a white girl acting like a ratchet hood chick (white guys, don’t like that and aren’t afraid to make it known). 

With black people, speaking from experience (and I’m not the only one), if you’re not down with hip hop, rap, and R&B, you’re looked down on.  

If you speak proper English, with your pants on your hips, you like groups like the Backstreet Boys, you’re into anime, you work hard, get your grades up and stay away from gangs, drugs, and sex to prioritize family, God, and financial success, then people will literally say, “You wish you was white.” 

Let’s get back to Eboni…I’m not saying Eboni’s child will grow up and turn to a life of crime, but if you had a choice to bring her into this world having a better chance of avoiding such life…why wouldn’t you take it!? 

Even if she doesn’t turn to a life of crime, do you think she’ll grow up and go for the good, honorable, decent men? Or will she go for the Pookies and Ray-Rays of the world? 

Healthy Fear and Respect for Authority: 

Having a father in the household would teach that woman what being a good husband/father looks like. It would give her an example to seek in the man she chooses to procreate with, thus avoiding the perpetuating cycle. 

How many times have we heard of the stripper stereotype? Almost every time we hear of a woman who’s doing OnlyFans or living a promiscuous lifestyle it’s with a woman who grew up in a fatherless household. The ladies say it themselves.  

And for men…bruh, all the black boys would grow up with a healthy fear and respect for authority. Not sure if y’all noticed, but we can be 14 or 15 and look like grown men. We grow up strong, capable of inflicting hospitalizing violence.  

Without guidance or a strong sense of morality to instill discipline, to train these young boys to harness their potential, to instill the strength of keeping themselves contained for the right time and place to get it out of their system…all you need to is search “teen attacks teacher” on Youtube and see the “usual suspects” at it again. 

The respect for authority is important for all those who are so keen on leaning into the Police as main killer of black youths. Not just when it comes to police, but also when it comes to using drugs and turning to a life of crime.  

My fathers (real dad and step-dad) made it clear that I was to listen to the teacher. Any disrespect of any adult was shut down right away. You don’t talk back. It’s yes sir, yes ma’am. 

They instilled that fear in me because they know. They grew up in a time where black men were still being lynched for the color of their skin. They know there can be racist cops who profile blacks and the last thing they wanted us to do is give the police a reason to act out on their prejudice. 

And on top of that, it gave us a leg up in the world when it comes to being successful in business and relationships because we know how to be friendly, cooperative, and just overall pleasant associates to deal with.  

The Want of a Father: 

Very often, you’ll hear Single Mothers take such pride in wanting to be the best mothers for their child. They’ll say things like, “I’m going to give my child the world!” 

…but not a father? 

In that 1986 CBS interview, I saw the teen mothers being interviewed where they clearly didn’t see a need for fathers in the household…but what about the boys?  

Depriving your son or daughter of a father is a horrible thing. Just because you lack the comprehension and foresight to see the detrimental effects, doesn’t mean it’s not there.  

For those who don’t know, LL Cool J was one of the pioneers of rap music in the 80s. When he was just a child, his father shot his mother and grandfather with a shotgun during a dispute. The mother and grandfather survived, but LL Cool J grew up without his father for most of his life. 

I can’t gloss over that because it could have been worse. I’ve seen hundreds of Investigative Discovery shows where husbands and wives do kill each other, leaving their children behind while one of the spouses behind bars. 

LL Cool J almost lost his mother with his father being locked away in prison. And yet still…STILL, LL Cool J wanted to reconnect and have a relationship with his father. He eventually hired him to be his manager until he had to fire him for bad business. 

Then there are ladies like this one, who’s interviewed by Stefan Molyneux.  

In this video, the woman talks about how she grew up estranged from her father because, during a custody battle from a nasty divorce, her mother accused her father of molesting her. The father has always maintained his innocence, and as such, remained cautious around his daughter as she was growing up 

You can hear it in her voice. The adult daughter talks about the trend of going after emotionally unavailable men because of the relationship she had with her father. She whimpers as she talks about how her father was always afraid to give her a deep meaningful hug because of that false accusation that was raised against him years ago. 

The point is…children need their fathers. They need them in the household 

Deadbeat Dad Stereotypes: 

I have to hit on the deadbeat dad stereotype because, shocker, I am a black man.  

It used to be that every time you hear of Single Mothers or a child growing up in a Single Parent household…men were blamed. We were called deadbeat dads. Papa was a Rolling Stone.  

A common joke to this day among other races is that white kids can always say, “At least I got a father!”  

These days, however…more and more people are waking up to the notion that maybe men aren’t the only ones to blame. It could be the men that these women are choosing to procreate with, especially when they had the option to choose good men who would’ve been responsible husbands and fathers.  

Or…it could be such as the case with Eboni where women want to be mothers more than wives for reasons already mentioned. 

Crediting God for Your Bad Behavior: 

Lastly, I had to hit on this stupid notion of people thanking God for their immoral success.  

In a statement released, Eboni had the temerity to thank God for blessing her with this miracle of getting pregnant via IVF. It breaks my heart when I hear things like this. At the same time…God, in his undeserved kindness had the love and grace to warn us of such behavior.  

So, I’ll leave you with just a succinct report of things to come and are happening, as revealed in 2 Timothy Chapter 3. Don’t be deceived. Satan will use these influencers to profane God’s name, trying to trick you into thinking such wickedness is how exactly God calls us to live, as if God wants us to live however we want as long as it makes us happy…but it isn’t.