Stage In The Sky

Recently, Pearl Davis of Red Pill fame published a video called, “Can God Save Modern Women?” 

As she began her case, I was surprised to hear about her Christian background. Apparently, she went to a Catholic school and has an extensive Christian upbringing. And yet, she has a lot a criticism when it comes to whether Modern Women are any better in the church. 

Now, right there, you might be asking yourself, “Any better for what, Rock?” 

Well, for those who don’t know, probably because you’re already married or in a long-term relationship, so you’re spared as to what’s going on…but there is a very real cold war going on between single Men and single Women.

Pearl Davis’s argument is attacking the idea that if traditional minded men with Christian values want to find a suitable wife, it stands to reason that the first place they should look is in the church. Pearl argues that women in the church aren’t any better. Better for what? A long-lasting marriage. 

Now…this isn’t the first time I’ve heard this argument. And off the bat, I can tell you upfront that I think it’s very short-sighted and narrow-minded. I’ve made the point in several videos that there are a number of factors that play a part in a man’s inability to find a Christian wife even IF he’s looking in the church. 

But still…Pearl does make some other good points that I felt were worth addressing. So, let’s talk about it.  

Women Submit to Christ After They’ve Hit the Wall:  

In the beginning of the video, Pearl Davis jabs at how it’s “very convenient” for a lot of women to suddenly find God around the age of 28-32. She asks why they weren’t able to find God and commit to Christ when they were younger and at the peak of their sexual attraction. 

Now…first off, I recognize that there ARE plenty of Christian women who grew up in the church, and those women stayed with those Christian communities. These ladies tend to get married very early because they either grew up with their husbands or met them within that Christian community. 

It makes sense that they’d get married “young” because if they are Bible practicing Christians, then they know that sex is supposed to take place within the bonds of marriage (1 Corinthians 7). The Scriptures literally say, “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.” 

All that said…I’m sorry, ladies, but Pearl is making a good point. She’s implying that women don’t find God until they realize they aren’t getting the same sexual attention they used to. Now, all the sudden, they’re finding God, they see the error of their ways, and they’re looking for good men. 

However, I wouldn’t go so far as to say they “found God,” because that implies that they lost Him. No ladies…I think a lot of Christians flat out rebelled against God and rejected his teachings in favor of the world. 

And like the Prodigal Son, it isn’t until they squandered their inheritance (their beauty) and found themselves poor and destitute (lonely and unwanted), that they realized a loving God will always take them back before it’s too late. That’s when they decide to come home (find God). 

And if you read these highlighted Scriptures of the Prodigal son, I think a lot of good men can empathize with the brother of the Prodigal Son. While the Prodigal son went off and squandered his inheritance, the brother stayed with the father and remained responsible. So, when the Prodigal Son came back and was celebrated and welcomed as if nothing ever happened, the brother was upset. 

That’s when the father says to the indignant responsible brother, “But son, you were always with me. All that is mine has always been yours.” 

I can tell you in my Christian journey that I definitely understand the responsible son’s point of view. In the pit of your stomach, it doesn’t seem fair that the other son was able to go out and enjoy himself by seeking pleasures and experiences, wasting his entire inheritance, only to come back and still be accepted as if nothing ever happened. 

But what we “responsible sons” fail to realize is that we have been spared the hardships that the other son had to endure. When you see Instagram and Social Media, it’s easy to look at people posting from Dubai or driving in fast cars, and getting all the hot girls and think, “Man, it’s not fair that the wicked are all prospering only to get saved later and enjoy what I’m enjoying.” (see Psalm 73) 

What you don’t see is the stress, drama, and trauma from their plethora of unsavory relationships. You don’t see the massive amount of debt they’ve racked up. You don’t see the child support payments they have to make. You don’t see their addictions, the invisible chains tying them to their vices. 

All that said, ladies…you have to understand why Men might be reluctant to have an ounce of compassion for you. A lot of men were always the good responsible men that you all passed over when you were at the peak of your beauty and sexual attraction. But you passed them over in favor of the bad boys who don’t care about responsibility, honor, or God. 

I get that there is an enormous pressure on women. There’s so many temptations and opportunities to use your beauty to your advantage and get everything the world is offering sooner than later.  

Men are willing to fly you out. OnlyFans exists. There’s endless male attention and validation and by many accounts, all that feels good. So, why settle with one man, get married and forsake all others when you can have a stable of men at your fingertips willing to buy you anything as long as your sexual attraction lasts? 

The answer is because it may not last forever. 

What is a Christian Woman? 

Pearl goes into her Christian background and questions whether she’s proved that she’s a Christian because she went to Catholic school and did Bible studies for two years. 

Ladies and gentlemen, plainly put, a Christian is a follower of Christ. You can say you “believe” in Jesus, but demons believed Jesus was the son of God. Does that mean they were Christians? 

I’d tell Pearl that if she wants to be a Christian, she should follow the words of Christ and his Apostles. This means living by the Bible standards. It means refraining from lifestyles talked about at 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 which includes sex before marriage. It won’t be easy. But Christ said that whoever comes after him should deny themselves to pick up their cross to follow him. (Matt 16:24) 

Here, I have heard arguments where some people think you can sanctify her by taking a chance and leading her to a better understanding and acceptance of those Scriptures. But I’m sorry, as a product of divorce myself, the lifelong covenant of marriage is not the place for me to be converting anyone. 

Because what if I fail? What if she continues to resist me and every day it’s a struggle because she’s so imbued with feminism and 50/50 partnership and doing her own thing, that I’m now failing in my duty to be the head of the family? Now what?  

Furthermore, think of how that will impact our children? What if she’s a lukewarm Christian who thinks “everyone should be able to do whatever they want as long as it makes them happy” so much so that she encourages our son to start acting like a girl, to promote a gender fluid household? 

If Solomon, who was one of the wisest, richest, most handsome, and powerful men who ever lived was turned away from following God by his heathen wives, who do I think I am that it won’t happen to me.  

The Church Pedestalizes Women: 

Pearl goes on to say that, from her experience, she hasn’t seen much of a difference between Modern Women and Women in the church. She describes how wives in the church are controlling and the Men appear to be Simps. She says the church seems to pedestalize women, where pastors are telling women that they’re more special, more important, and more amazing than they actually are…certainly more special than the men. 

That’s not the first time I’ve heard such arguments. Dr Umar describes how the church caters to women and theorizes that it’s because women, particularly Black Women, make more money to give to the church. He also theorizes that the church is invested in Black Women never getting married because the pastor wants to be the metaphorical husband of all the single women in the community. 

Last year, Pastor Devon Franklin created waves when he gave this silly sermon that put Eve up on a pedestal over Adam, saying, “Eve came into this world complete. It was Adam who was broken. Eve didn’t come into this world saying ‘where’s my man?’ Society wants women to believe you’re broken if you’re not with somebody.” 

That’s what he said to a thunderous applause with women cheering, “Yeah!”  

First off, I won’t go so far as to say a woman is “broken” if she isn’t with someone, but God himself said it’s not good for man (humans) to be alone. There’s even Scriptures that warn against being alone, that two are better than one.  

Proverbs 18:1 says that whoever isolates himself, seeks his own desire. 2 Timothy 3 teaches that those who prioritize themselves, indulging in self-love are part of the godless ones signaling that we’re living in the last days. The Bible says to avoid such people.  

So, any pastor promoting singleness or bachelorhood, I’d question their motives. It’s one thing if you’re being encouraged by your singleness to spend more time devoted to serving God…it’s another if you’re encouraged to serve yourself. (1 Corinthians 7:32-35) 

I think some churches are afraid of telling people things they don’t want to hear. If you say something a person doesn’t like, they might stop coming to your church, and thus, you won’t get their Sunday offering when the collection plates come around. 

That being said, there are a lot of good churches that stick to the scriptures and proclaim what God says on the roles of men and women. This video from ChishaZed calls out a church who kicked out a woman for her promiscuous ways and even returned her money back to her. So, there are good churches out there. 

While it’s easy for me or anyone to think that Pearl’s observations are narrowminded or short-sighted, what are we doing to combat the perception? In my four-part essay about being judgmental, I explain that the reason why she and so many like her have these awful observations is because there are too many Christians who say nothing.  

These Christians are quick to tell the world, “don’t worry, I don’t judge” just so they can be accepted and fit in with the world. Jason Whitlock admitted this in his recent interview with Charlie Kirk where he used to be all about gay rights, just so he could feel good about the fact that he was banging strippers. As in, I won’t judge you, so hey, don’t judge me. 

My point is, before we get mad at people like Pearl for having these perceptions, I’d rather focus on those who are giving us a bad name to begin with. 

Men Don’t Have to Forgive a Woman’s Promiscuous Past: 

Pearl makes the claim that God can forgive you, but men do not have to.  

I don’t think that’s entirely true. One of Jesus’s biggest talking points is forgiving your brothers and sisters countless times (Matt 18:22). That doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat or allow yourself to be used and abused. But at the very least, you shouldn’t harbor resentment or contempt for the person. 

I think Pearl is confusing “forgiveness” with acceptance. As in, I’m sorry you gave your body to 30 different men and now have a couple of children outside of wedlock, but I’d prefer not to get involved romantically. I’d prefer to have my own family. 

I remember a real conversation with my Aunt Kathy back in my late 20s where I vented about single mothers and how I don’t want a pre-made family, but it seems that so many women are giving their bodies to Men who aren’t marrying them, and now I’ll have no choice but to take one of these women if I want to be with a woman I find attractive.  

She told me, “Rock, you need to forgive those women.” 

It struck me, because I didn’t think I hated them. I hated the situation, sure. I hated the culture, absolutely. But the women themselves…did I hate them too? I honestly don’t know for sure. It was very disappointing. 

“Well, why is it disappointing, Rock? You act like you’re entitled to a beautiful woman.” 

Lol, it’s disappointing because it seems that most of the beautiful women who come after me are single mothers. It’s disappointing because the prevailing thought is, “damn, why couldn’t you have saved yourself and waited?” 

And even there, as I wrote in my essay about not asking for their body counts…I suspect the reason why these types of ladies go for Men like me is because when you become a single mother, you’re forced to grow up and finally see the value having a good man (stable, responsible, hard-working, trustworthy). 

When the only one you’re responsible for is yourself and you don’t live with honor, it makes sense why you’d live life as if tomorrow doesn’t matter. It reminds me of this Kevin Samuels Interview where he asked a woman: 

“Is there only one man that’s destined for you?” 

She said yes. 

So he asked, “then why do you have another man’s child?” 

I’d encourage all the men to let go of any resentment they might feel towards the situation and understand that Satan has his claws in deep. 

Remember, those of you who resisted temptation and this wicked world are blessed with an extraordinary strength and discipline that others lack. You are blessed with wisdom and intelligence. We should have some compassion for those who don’t.  – https://www.openbible.info/topics/stupid 

What Incentive do Men Have to Join the Church? 

I’ll end it with her important question of, “What incentive do you have to join the church when the church has such a bad reputation?” 

First off, let me address the clip she used of the black woman talking about submission. If you replay that part (i have it queued up in the video above), you’ll find that the woman did everything BUT define what submission really is. She dressed it up with all these fancy words to describe a feeling. And at the end she emphasized “equal” and “mutual.”  

To answer Pearl’s question, I’d say the incentive of joining a church is avoiding women like that. Are there women like her in the church, I have no doubt.  

But earlier, I talked about the good churches vs the bad ones. The good ones stick to the Scriptures and speak the truth even if it’s something you don’t want to hear. The bad ones pander, and cater to their audience, neglecting to tell them what they need to hear.  

Think about that black woman who just talked about submission. Do you think she goes to a church where Pastors clearly point out that “Submission means following your husband’s lead as head of the household?” 

When you’ve found a good church, when you’ve found a Christian who’s actually striving to live by the Bible’s standards…I think one of the biggest incentives is that you can avoid all these cultural arguments of Men vs Women. 

Meaning, if wives think they should be in charge because they have more degrees or make more money, but husbands think they should be in charge because they’re bigger stronger and tradition, instead of relying on themselves, they can rely on God’s word the Bible. 

When both the husband and the wife put God first, relying on the Bible for guidance on how they should live their lives, you can avoid all these stupid debates and points of contention that feminism and modern culture has created by trying to usurp how husbands and wives have traditionally gone on for generations.  

I just saw a video from Crimson Cure where she calls out a MatchMaker for shaming men who want peace, who don’t like drama. I’m not saying Christian women are drama-free or that relationships won’t come with their share of challenges. But I am saying, the benefit of being with a believer is that we can go to a “Higher Power” to help settle our conflicts. 

That woman who prevaricated as she dressed up “submission” as this magical feeling of expression…I suspect she emphasized mutual and equal because that’s what the culture’s been teaching her. That everyone’s equal.  

To which I’d say, “yes, equal in value but different by nature.” 

Ephesians 5:21 does say, “21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” That does sound like mutual and equal. But if you read in its full context, the beginning part of Ephesians is talking about the congregation in general. Not husband and wives. 

In the very next verse, starting at Ephesians 5:22, the Apostle Paul then goes on to address husbands and wives as he writes, “22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” 

If these scriptures bother her, if she refuses to accept them…I’m not marrying her. And trust me, I have been in the talking phases of many women where they outright rejected them. I wrote a whole essay about it.  

But I’ve also met plenty of women who accept those Scriptures and defend them. And shocker, most of them are married. Believe it or not, it was actually one of my aunts, a woman, who taught me this. 

True story, I was 28, just beginning my read-through of the Bible where I told my aunt that I’m, “not looking for someone to lead, or someone to follow, but someone to walk hand and hand with as my equal.” 

Sounds nice, doesn’t it.  

That’s when she said, “You know, Rock…Men are supposed to be the leaders of their household. Wives are supposed to submit to their husbands.” 

I was blown away. I hadn’t gotten to those Scriptures yet.  

Can God Save Modern Women:  

Pearl ends the video by reciting, “Can God save modern women?” She answers, “Yes, but men don’t have to. Every person is accountable for the choices they have made in their life.” 

She’s not entirely wrong. First off, we all know that it’s only Christ who can save us all, not just women, but all of us.  

But I get what she’s trying to say. I think she means “save women” as in save them from the consequences of giving into feminism and today’s modern culture. Yes, even there, God can save us all.  

Do men have to? Is it our obligation? And if we did, what does that look like? By saving them, would that mean marrying one of them despite their past, or their current behavior and ideologies? 

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure if that is our “obligation”. I do think we can have compassion, forgive, and help them to lead happy fulfilling lives by directing them to the Scriptures. But I know for a fact, that I’ll never marry a woman I haven’t fully vetted. 

In fact, I can tell you that I’ve had to let many friends go because they claimed to be Christian, but they lived worldly lifestyles so much so that it began to test my own faith. Meaning, every time I talked to them about some kind of moral behavior, they’d try and shame me for sticking to the scriptures instead of changing who I am to conform to the times. 

Did I give up on them? Sometimes I had to, especially if there’s been countless discussions and they used shaming language tantamount of, “if you don’t conform, you’ll always be alone and no one will ever love you.”  

When you’re dealing with “friends” like that, if you don’t have the strength to endure that kind of barrage on your faith, I do think it’s wise to withdraw.