For those who don’t know, Olympic gold medalist Simone Biles and her NFL husband Jon Owens were in the news for making a lot of ladies upset. Apparently…brace yourselves…Owens thinks that men are the “catch.” And what’s worse! Simone Biles actively pursued him and made the first move! *shock and horror *
Why were ladies upset? Many provided reasons, but the top three seem to be:
- Men should NEVER say they’re the prize/catch
- The husband embarrassed her
- Simone Biles shouldn’t have made the first move
I suspect that the backlash Simone and Jon faced has little to do with attacking them as a couple, and more to do with Women keeping other women in line. Let’s talk about it.
Points Discussed:
- The Perennial High School Mentality
- A Woman’s Ambitions
- The Obsession of being Equal (the same)
THE PERENNIAL HIGH SCHOOL MENTALITY
I’ve coined this term in reference to social media and how the popular kids are still dictating to the masses what is or isn’t acceptable.
Think about it. Back in high school, a lot of people went along with the trends even if they themselves thought it was weird or didn’t agree with it. The Popular kids set the tone for what was hip or lame. You don’t want to be left out. So, most followed the herd.
All of that was supposed to end when you left school and college. When you graduated, you were supposed to be freed from the shackles of peer pressure. You had greater freedom to just be yourself, think for yourself with less criticism and ridicule from your peers.
Thanks to social media, where Influencers have the ears of millions of followers…and worse people worship celebrities more than they worship God, we’re still stuck in this Perennial High School Mentality where the loudest ones dictate terms to the rest of the generation.
And before you Old Heads want to say, “Nah, Rock. It’s always been this way. The expectations never go away.” Sure! Sure. But at least those expectations came from friends, family, or the local culture. We have people from New York dictating how people should live in Augusta, Georgia!
Last year, I wrote an essay about the “Sisterhood” as one of the 8 Things that Ruined Dating for Millennials. The backlash Simone and Jon faced from that interview is proof positive of what I’m talking about.
As I said, the backlash against Simone was more about the Sisterhood showing other women that if they dare think about doing what Simone did by approaching the guy, making the first move, and making him feel like he’s the prize/catch…you will be shunned and ridiculed for being a pick-me, brainwashed, weak, etc.
For the men, it’s screaming, “Know your place, boy! Don’t you ever IN YOUR LIFE think that you’re the prize or superior to any woman. Only WOMEN can boast about being great and are perfect 10s. You men need to shut up and remember that you’re just lucky to have anything at all!”
I think the reason why so many ladies are quick to check a man’s “Ego” is quite similar to the reasons why Slave Owners didn’t want their slaves learning how to read and write. If you realize your potential and self-worth, it’s a bit difficult to take advantage of you.
A man who knows his self-worth isn’t going accept just anything. This hurts a lot of progressive movements where women are breaking away from tradition and expect men to accept and marry them regardless of how they look, live, or treat them.
That’s why the Passport Bros exist. It’s a group of men who know their self-worth, realize they don’t have to accept just anything. So, they’re looking to other countries where the women still have the perception of being traditional, soft, loving, and feminine.
Relax. I’m not saying I’m one of them. But you guys gotta understand that perception matters. Perception shapes reality. If all you see is one side talking with no one opposing them, it’s easy to assume everyone agrees with them. That’s why so many were silenced to facilitate the rise of LGBTQ in the 2010s.
What Simone Biles did to get Jon Owens can encourage a lot of women to go after the men they want. And like Satan who knows he’s going down, a lot of bitter ladies are striving to keep other women down instead of encouraging them to learn from their mistakes of their youth as Titus 2: 3-5 says.
A WOMAN’S AMBITION –
Another lesson we can take from the Simone Biles situation is the truth about who’s really holding women back from getting what they want. Hint…it’s not men.
It makes sense that Simone Biles would have the courage and ambition to make the first move and go for what she wanted. She’s an Olympic Gold Medalist! Her career is all about going for Gold! Working hard to get what she wants. I admire that. Not just in her. But anyone.
Why is it, that women are really good about encouraging others to be ambitious when it comes to their careers and education…but sneer at women who have the courage and ambition of going after a man romantically? And it’s not just going after a man, they also seem to hate it when she treats him too well and makes him the priority.
“But, Rock. It’s his attitude! He claimed men are the prize!”
They asked him. And if you listen to him talk, it sounds like he gave Simone a lot of credit. He recognized that she made the first move, that she drove 45 minutes to see him. Sounds like praise. As if he’s lucky that she put in so much effort. (and honestly, I feel the same about my past girlfriends too)
“Rock, he said that men are ALWAYS the catch!”
Alright, let me go ahead and put this to bed. How long have we’ve been hearing the adage of “Happy wife, happy life”. How long have we been hearing “she’s my better half.”
You could look at his statement and interpret it to mean that he thinks Men are better than Women. Sure, sure. But if you think he’s wrong, then are you saying that you think Women are better?
Do you understand what I’m getting at? Everyone who’s really mad about that statement has a problem, a superiority complex that feeds into my theories about how the Gynocentric Worship of Women Ruined My Generation of Dating.
What do a lot of women say that they want in a man? Rich, tall, and handsome. Right? He has to have a career or is making something of his life, right? Now look at Jon Owens below and tell me he isn’t exactly the kind of man that most women say they want. Does that not make him a catch? Even a straight man like me can tell that this guy is 10x better looking than me and has a lot going for him.
Furthermore, he’s an NFL player. He’s probably surrounded by other high value men who are all the “catch” as well. So why deny it? Why play aloof and act like he’s no big deal?
THE OBSESSION OF BEING EQUAL (THE SAME)
I think this all boils down to this sad delusion that people think we’re all equals and everybody’s the same. I’ve NEVER believed this. I don’t believe you can love someone the same as another. I don’t believe in the same strength, same intelligence. I don’t even believe that God loves us all equally. Mary, Abraham, David, Moses, Elijah all come to mind.
The fact that Simone Biles is a gold medalist is PROOF that there is a better or worse. She was judged to be better than every other gymnast she went up against. She was not the same. She was not their equal.
To be clear…when it comes to the genders, I’m not saying one is better than the other. As Suzanne Venker once put it, “men and women are equal in value, but different by nature” when it comes to our relationship.
As individuals, however…I’m sorry, there are people who’re better than you in some way shape or form. And that’s okay! The cool thing about all of this is that you can change how better or worse you are if you work at it!
And there’s the rub. People either don’t want to work at it or they know no matter how hard they work, they’ll never be better than whoever they have in mind. (that’s why some people complain and demand change to give themselves a better chance to compete)
The idea that we’re all the same is a comfortable lie because it implies that no matter what someone else does to get better in terms of strength, value, and intellect…they’re still the same as you…even if all you do is play video games and smoke weed all day.
When you’re fed lies like this, and worse, when you believe it…it can be very off-putting and intimidating when you encounter someone who YOU KNOW is absolutely better than you in more ways than one. Especially if they’re in the same age group as you.
When I was 23, I studied with Scientologists for a time. One of their philosophies was about this internal self-defense mechanism where the other person is lashing out with diminishing remarks, not out of jealousy…but to protect their own self-esteem.
I experienced this throughout my 20s when my peers (men and women) would get mad and accuse me of bragging because I talked about writing books and getting them published. They were writers too, you see. However, instead of applying themselves and sacrificing the time to do the work, they spent their weekends hanging out, out on the boat, or at parties.
So, when they heard how I was spending my time, instead of respecting the dedication…they’d much rather chop me down and diminish my efforts. Or they’d work to change me to be more like them, using shaming tactics disguised as “we’re trying to help you” by telling me things like, “Rock, you need to have a better balance between work and fun.”
(Of course, what they’ll never understand is that I’m just built differently. What they call fun, I call work. And what they call work, I call fun. Seriously, I love being productive more than vacation. I LOVE IT! Hence…we are not the same.)
I believe the more confident you are in who you are, the less chances you are to feel inferior when you get around someone who you perceive to be better.
For instance, in 2021, I matched with a couple of beautiful black young surgeons who were finishing up medical school. I commended them and told them it was amazing that they’ve committed their lives to healing and saving lives. Seriously, it reminds me of Jesus who healed the sick.
Did their accomplishments hurt my self-esteem? Was I bothered every time they brought up some incident or episode where they were needed to save the day?
No! Why? Mainly because I have my own accomplishments. The things I’ve done, how far I’ve come, what I’m still continuing to do…yeah, I’m not worried.
“But, Rock. How would you feel if someone entered the room bragging about this or that. Clearly boasting about their accomplishments and acting like they were better than you.”
Let him. There are a lot of people who are indeed better than me in some areas. In fact, because I’ve been falsely accused of bragging so much, I might actually be drawn to people who are overly confident. Way more so than people who are pretending to be modest and self-deprecate. (people who preemptively say things like “I’m not that great” when they just beat everyone in a race)
“Alright. So, what if he said that he was better than you in an area you’re good at?”
I’d say, “challenge accepted.” Bring it, son! Let’s see what you got! If I see that he is indeed better than me, it might scratch my pride at first…but eventually I’d be inspired to improve and surpass them.
Seriously, I’m not just saying that. One of my co-workers is an awesome writer. When I was editing his stuff, I recognized his talents, and it inspired me to do better.
“So, you’re trying to tell me you don’t mind feeling inferior to others?”
Alright, we’re getting off topic, so I’ll answer the question and end it here.
If I really loved, respect, and honored the person, I don’t mind the occasional moments of inferiority. This usually happens when I open my heart and confess all kinds of deep, personal, and sensitive stuff…things I’d never tell anyone else.
In those moments, it is easy to feel like a b****, which isn’t great for a guy. You can feel that the other person is tougher, stronger, and more mature than you. People like that can have a lot of power over you. Like the power to make you stop what you’re doing when they send you a text. Or the power to make you rearrange your plans just to see them.
If you trust this person…I think you can allow yourself to be inferior or vulnerable with them.
However…if the person DOES NOT appreciate or respect it, if they act like they don’t even want your love, or they take it for granted and act like it’s no big deal…Yeah…you might need to focus on pouring your love into someone else, someone who will show a greater appreciation for it.
Secondly, these feelings of inferiority may be something you need to work on for yourself. As I mentioned in my point about Scientology, I do think it makes sense for a person to feel inferior when they subconsciously recognize that someone else is indeed better than them.
It’s mainly your ego that I’m referring to. We all have them. But if your ego is keeping you from maintaining relationships with people…you’ve got some choices to make.
You can humble yourself and be inspired. You can leave the person alone. Lol, or you can do what my peers have done and try to belittle the person into hiding their strengths just so you can tolerate their presence.
That’s why I’m very much drawn to women who are generous with their praise and compliments.
Personally, I think when I hear compliments…it’s not so much that it feeds my ego, though it is encouraging and nice to hear…more than anything I think it tells me I don’t have to hide who I am from this person. That this person appreciates and likes that I am Superman, so to speak.
For those who don’t know, I don’t think I’m Superman, as in I’m stronger, faster and above everyone else. I use the Clark Kent/Superman analogy to describe how I put on a disguise so humans (mostly Millennials) won’t see me as an alien.
“But, Rock! You shouldn’t care about that. You should just be who you are regardless of what people think!”
I disagree. I think you should be who you truly are with the people who appreciate and respect who you truly are.
“So, then you’re fake with everyone else?”
Do you tell everyone your deepest most personal secrets? No? Same here.
“I’m saying though. You act like you’re the only one who’s so different and has to act a certain way depending on where you’re at or who you’re with.”
So what if I do? Why does that bother you?
“Wouldn’t it bother you!?”
No! Because I’ve “been there,” I’d actually understand that there are good reasons why they feel that way and I’d probably ask more questions to figure out why. You could be dismissive of it, sure. Or you could take a step back and try and be more empathetic.
“I dunno, Rock. It just comes off as arrogant. As if your experiences are more significant and powerful than everyone else’s.”
That’s one way to see it. And it’s an understandable. Which is why I keep these thoughts to myself, and put on the Clark Kent disguise to act like I’m just the same as you. Because I DON’T want you to think of me as arrogant or full of myself. I want you to see me in a positive light because it reduces any unpleasantness and makes my life a little bit easier.
It’s also why I love it when my loved ones read my books. My grandmother on my Dad’s side read “The Perennial War of Paramours” and some of her praises were:
“I definitely see you in a new light. You’re so intelligent. You got an imagination on you!”
With the intelligent and imagination compliments, she’s probably just being polite and kind. Sure. But I believed she was being genuine about everything because she mentioned she saw me in a new light, which is a bit unique. She saw the Real Me. She saw the Superman to my Clark Kent. Not that I’m the greatest artist ever or anything like that…but she saw that I am…something.
Finally…a good way to get better at something is to surround yourself with people who ARE better. Another word for better…is superior.
When I was in my 20s, I lived by the mantra of, “If you feel like you’re in the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.”
Thus…I actually didn’t mind humbling myself as inferior while learning from my betters. I’ll go ahead and shout out Jack’s Sigma Frame website, because when I was learning about the notion of the Sigma Male, it made me smile that one of the qualities of a Sigma Male is that we don’t mind following an Alpha’s lead when they’ve demonstrated that they have a good moral compass.
If you didn’t catch it there. The key word in all this is humble. I’ll go ahead and drop 1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 here. I encourage you to take it to heart and let go of this foolish pride…big picture. Love is more important.
“4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
…
“But Rock! Simone Bile’s husband was boasting!”
Get out of here!
Stage In The Sky 