Recently, the comedian Aries Spears made some jokes about Lizzo’s weight and appearance. Lizzo and her fans fought back where one of their arguments were, “But he’s fat too!”
As one who used to weigh 378lbs, I believe I have every right to speak on the subject. And I hope you can tell from my tone in the video that I really am coming from a place of love. This isn’t to mock or slight anyone.
- Can Men Talk about Women’s Bodies? – @1:14
- Should You Hate Yourself If You’re Fat – @3:11
- My Inspiration to Lose Weight – @5:40
- I Tried to Help a Friend Lose Weight – @7:15
- Will You Still be Body “Positive” in your 50s? – @10:11
- How I Got Up to 378 pounds – @12:01
- I Was So Fat I Got Stuck in the Closet – @17:28
- How I Felt When I Reached My Weight-loss Goal – @22:29
Expounding on this notion of, “But he’s fat too”…I don’t think I’ve ever respected this argument. I’m talking about the notion of, “You have no right to talk about a subject if you’re failing in the subject too.”
How/Why do people think that logic makes sense? When I was a growing up, I had plenty, and I mean PLENTY of overweight PE teachers. Even in Christianity, I’ve seen so many get hung up on the Scripture about how you should first “take the log/plank out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye”. (Matt 7:5)
So…a couple of things.
First…when it comes to Aries Spears’ comments about Lizzo’s weight despite him being overweight…the issue as I see it, Aries isn’t bragging or boasting about being overweight. He hasn’t made, led, or become the poster boy for a movement that’s encouraging millions to embrace being overweight. In my video, I address how a commenter complained that “it seems like men don’t want Women to be proud and confident if she happens to be fat.”
I had to tell her that I think everyone should be confident with who they are…but when it comes to flaws and weaknesses that we NEED to improve…NO, you shouldn’t take pride in it. I think one of my generation’s biggest blunders is this notion of “you’re perfect the way you are.”
“But Rock! No one is saying that being fat is perfect.”
My friends…I wouldn’t be making this post, or posting a video about it, if I haven’t seen for myself what this Body Positivity Movement is doing to my generation. It’s not just about the “health risks” you might have to face in the future, but also your desirability.
I know…I know Women are being taught that they shouldn’t care what men want and if a Man can’t accept you the way you are then something’s wrong with them…but that’s ridiculous. In my video, with caution, I compared women’s bodies to new vehicles on a car lot. Men are the Buyers. Thus, it behooves the automaker to make their vehicles appealing to the eye so Men will buy them.
It’s the same with women. Yes, personalities, your morals and virtues are important. But if you aren’t “pleasing to the eye,” men won’t be attracted to you. If they’re not attracted to you, they don’t care to get to know you, they don’t envision a future with you, and thus, they likely won’t marry you.
However! If you don’t care about attracting a man and getting married, then yeah…I can see how all this self-love and body positivity might be appealing to you. Just one thing…in 20-30 years, if you happens to be struggling with depression, diabetes, and other health factors…I don’t want to hear, “I didn’t know/I was tricked/They lied to me”. I don’t want to hear it.
Even now, a conversation is going on in the Black Manosphere from both men and women about how a lot of black women were “raised” to be strong and independent, to go out and compete instead of cooperate, to be more masculine and never submit to no man. And when these conversations take place, I keep hearing, “This is just how I was raised.”
I’m sorry, I really do want to be empathetic and compassionate, but now that you know the truth, what are you going to do about it? Are you really so resigned and self-defeating in that you think you can’t change, you can’t improve…that this is just the way you are and you might as well continued down this path to disaster? Honestly, just think about it.
If anyone’s reading this and you do need help, if you do need encouragement, if you need someplace to start or some guidance on motivation and determination, please reach out to me at my gmail address. I know from experience that it’s not easy, it takes time and you really do need to mentally prepare yourself for the marathon not the sprint, but it’s WORTH IT!
Better to change now, than keep going another 10-15 years and…*sighs * alright man. I’m rambling. I encourage you to check out my video at the top of the post because I really think I capture the sincerity of what I’m trying to say. I also talk about how I got up to 378lbs in the first place, so hopefully, you’ll understand that it’s not like I just rolled out of bed looking good. It took work and years.
I was going to expound on Christians who seem to think you can’t point out another person’s flaws because we’re all flawed, but I’ll save that for another essay.