What is the point of possessing such beauty? Is there a point? Does it matter? I believe so. First off, to understand what I’m about to say, one must be resign themselves to a couple of notions.
The first notion is that there is no guarantee that everyone will be loved in this world. The second is vanity and self-consciousness exists and while I won’t say there’s nothing wrong with it, I will say that they can be used for good.
Recently, I saw an Instagram post from one of my favorite Instagram models where she mentioned that she planned on looking for a good man in 10 years, but first she wanted to have her fun. Surprisingly, I’ve notice a lot of beautiful women on Instagram with thousands of followers having the same philosophy. I see them traveling the world. They post some of the most cliché quotes under revealing photos of themselves. And they all seem to desire the same thing. That elusive, “good man”.
One could say here, “well, those are just Instagram models. Their view of reality is a tad bit distorted because they receive so much of their validation online that they don’t think to seek it from people in the real world.”
Is that true?
Because…one could argue that the same validation Instagram models receive, are also received by women who regularly use dating sites like Tinder and OKCupid. Already, I’ve read a number of articles where women have admitted that they have no intentions on finding dates or partners through the dating sites, but more so use it as a “pick-me-up” throughout the day, like hit of whiskey in the form of adoration from men just to remind them that they are indeed beautiful and wanted.
Everything I’m saying right now…I want you to know that I’m not complaining. I’m not asking people to change nor will I tell them their worldview is right or wrong. These are just observations and a premonition of what’s to come based on my own opinion. That being said, lets get back to that first question.
What is the point of being beautiful?
Here’s my theory… Beauty is the gift given to us in order to attract a mate. I honestly feel that’s it’s the number one purpose. I won’t go so far as to say it’s the sole (only) purpose. But I think that’s why you have it. The problem is…beauty fades with time.
This isn’t to say that you will one day be ugly or no longer be seen as beautiful. But what I’m saying is that the beauty you once possessed in your youth, will fade as you grow older. Depending on your genes and how well you take care of yourself, you can hold on and maintain that beauty for decades. But that’s going to take work as well as the acknowledgment that your beauty will indeed fade. However, and sadly I don’t believe a lot of women do acknowledge this.
I think that there’s a great deal of women who are mature enough to handle the reality. That after they’ve had their “fun” they will have no choice but to settle on men that they would have never thought they’d end up getting married to. And these women go on to live happy and fulfilled lives, because they’ve accepted this. But will all women accept it? Do most women acknowledge it?
So, if it sounds like I’m picking on women here, forgive me. There’s a reason why I’m highlighting women when it comes to beauty. Again, this is just a theory. And you can say, “all I hear are theories and conjectures” and be absolutely right. But trust me when I say I’m not alone in seeing this. A lot of men have come to the same realization, but for these men to speak out, they’ll be hit with “MISOGYNY!” and other attacks on their character for simple just thinking about it.
The thing is, women and men are different. As much as the media and mainstream figures have been trying to break down gender roles and what not, any person with an ounce of common sense can tell you that on a general level, men and women are different. And that’s actually a good thing! Believe it or not, it is. Men and women are supposed to compliment each other. Men are strong, but not in all areas. And believe it or not, women are stronger in ways that men are not. This should be celebrated and appreciated. Not demeaned and frowned upon.
I believe that men are visual creatures. We see something that looks good and want it. I believe that women are visual creatures as well. But most women don’t just see the superficial, they watch for certain qualities whereas men mainly see red flags, not precisely an exact quality that they want. Just what they know they “don’t want.” For instance, if you ask a man what they looked for in a woman beyond her appearance… they’d probably take a moment to think about it. Whereas, I’m willing to bet women could tell you right away, right off the top of her head.
The thing is, times have changed. Once upon a time, a man was celebrated for his bravery, strength and work ethic by going out, building his home, defending it, and providing for his family, protecting his wife, raising his sons and daughters to be respectable, contributing members of society.
Now…the world has become so modernized where machines take care of basically everything a man would have once had to do to display his prowess, unless you’re a policeman, soldier, professional athlete, or any other kind of figure of authority. How then, is a man supposed to display his masculine qualities?
This is actually important. More than I think people seem to realize. Humans aren’t alone in this regard. Anyone who’s seen a nature documentary can tell you that nearly every animal in the animal kingdom has these rites of passage when it comes to mating. Deer, bovines, canines, and even felines fight amongst themselves for the right to mate with the females. Birds put on colorful and elaborate displays to attract a mate. Fish and sharks use pheromones. Etc.
The point is, every animal has some kind of instinctual mechanism to attract a mate. As humans, men were able to do this by showing themselves strong, capable, and dependable. I believe women were able to do this by…their beauty. Yes, we also admire women for their feminine qualities such as the strength it takes to nurture, and believe me, it does take strength. Some men can’t handle being in a room with their sick loved ones, it’s too emotionally distressing, while a woman does have a strength to be right there and not turn away. There are so many qualities women possess that men lack. And vice versa.
But in order for men and women to get to know each other and learn whether or not they have the desired qualities for a long-term relationship, whether or not we’re compatible, we first have to attract each other.
As I’m sure many of you know, men have taken a beating in recent years due to the horrible actions of a few assholes, resulting in the MeToo Movement, and before that, the CatCalling Video. Inadvertently, this has made men more reluctant to approach and even talk to women. And the sad thing is, it seems many women have yet to put two and two together. To this day, it seems women still think men are afraid to talk to women because we’re afraid of rejection. We’re not.
What we are, is afraid of getting fired. Any man who’s gone to college has a student loan debt to bear. I’d say about 70% of us have worked ceaselessly through our twenties and well into our thirties to reduce that debt.
Women have the same debt too, you might say. But traditionally, which of us has the embedded responsibility to provide for our families? The Men? Or the Women? These days, I acknowledge that mainstream society is pushing for both men and women to do so, but many of us men who were raised by parents who could not have possibly predicted the current turn of events, have instilled in their sons that they are to be the head of the household. That it is their responsibility to be the primary bread-winner. And if you’re a true Christian, even the Bible says this.
Again, these aren’t complaints. I acknowledge. I accept. And here comes the premonition. Brace yourselves…it looks bleak.
By the time men have established themselves, cut their debt in half, and are in a position to finally get married and provide for a family…well…We’ll be attracted to beautiful women. But as I said. Beauty fades. Not to mention, times change. What’s acceptable today probably won’t be in ten years. And on the same token, what’s unacceptable today, people will probably be more tolerant to in the future. Gosh…I’m almost afraid to type what I really want to say here…
Let me put it this way. Think of all the old time couples, of men and women who are in their sixties and up and have managed to stay married. I’ve been blessed with plenty of these role models in my life, so I know it’s possible. If you hear the men talk about their wives, they’d tell you that she is still the most beautiful woman to him. And it gets me thinking.
I believe that beauty is like the hook that draws in the catch. And once the catch is made, it is only then that love can manifest. I believe it’s this kind of unconditional love that allows a man to stay with his woman forever. It’s this kind of love that enables the man to believe he’s with the most beautiful woman in the world no matter how fat she gets, no matter what injury befalls her, no matter what mental disability she’s inflicted with. This is love.
But first…beauty must reel in the catch. Bringing me back to my favorite Instagram model. This idea of “I just want to have fun for ten years and then look for a “good man”. In my heart of hearts, I truly hope she’s just saying this. Meaning, I hope she has no idea what she’s really talking about or what she really means. I truly hope that what she means is, she just wants to have fun until she finds the man who shows her that he’s the one she really wants to spend the rest of her life with. That’s what I hope.
Because this Instagram model…she’s already in her late 20s. And she’s somewhat on the heavy side (I like curvy women). So I can somewhat imagine what she’s going to look like in ten years and sadly, “beautiful” would not be the first adjective that comes to mind. I’m just being real here.
“Well what about men! Men also gonna turn into big fat slobs and they aren’t exactly Brad Pitts as they get older.”
True…this is true. However, when it comes to men and women, to whom is beauty more important? And be honest. Look around at the married couples you know. When you get their wives alone and ask them if they think they’re husbands are the sexiest, most handsome men alive…I’d say it’s about a 50-50 chance of them saying yes. And that’s me being generous on those odds.
I can tell you from personal experience in talking with grown married women, either family or close associates where they’ll admit, that their men were average looking, but the love manifested in other ways. Like through the man’s charm, charisma, their competence, their ambition, their authority, their experience, their leadership, their virtue.
Ladies…these qualities aren’t bound by the concepts of time. For some men, they develop these qualities as they grow older, and for some, they lose them as they get older. But either way, beauty, isn’t the word most commonly associated with men. It’s rare. That’s why you have the phenomena where hordes of women go after a single man and its seen as normal in the public. Like women screaming over Justin Bieber, or Robert Pattinson, or any other pop idol. They are like jewelry. Rare. So women have no qualms competing for the same thing even though there are other gems free for the taking.
So…essentially, what I’m saying is that beauty fades with time and you shouldn’t take it for granted. You can if you want. But I’d just hate for you to be in your mid to late thirties, searching for that “good man” while those same men are drawn to what we’ve always been drawn to…beauty.
And when I said that what’s acceptable today probably won’t be in ten years… It’s my theory that the next generation won’t be on board with the ideologies of today’s third-wave feminists. I suspect that they’ll reject the idea of abolishing traditional gender roles and they will seek men who possess traditional, assertive, masculine qualities.
Thus…I fully suspect that while women are in their thirties looking for the “good men”…the “good men” in their thirties would have found their beautiful brides who are still in their mid to early twenties. I believe prenups will be signed on a regular basis to protect these men from giving up half their stuff in the event of a no-fault divorce. And I suspect there will be a great deal of sadness for everyone failing honor the concept of commitment.
Anyways…these are just my thoughts on the matter. I could be wrong. However, if you think I’m alone in these observations, I encourage you to look on Youtube at the channels of Sargon of Akkod, of Sandman, of Entrepreneurs in Cars and other MGTOW and Red Pill Channels. If you don’t know what MGTOW or Red Pill Men are, I encourage you to explore. As a Christian Conservative, I read about their ideologies and it makes me smile to know, “I’m not the only one seeing this shit.”
At the same time, I really do wish there was a greater conversation about their beliefs. Not just amongst men, but women. For all the clichés and crap men get about not listening or caring about Women’s Issues…haha…let’s just say in order for the thousands of men to comment on such issues…we at least had to hear what your arguments were in the first place. This requires listening. Mulling it over for a second. And then coming to our own conclusions.
And coming to your own conclusion…that’s the key. That’s called taking personal responsibility. Even if your conclusions coincide with the speaker, the point is, you’ve made a conscientious decision to make up your own mind. Everything I’ve said in this little essay…I don’t know if its an accurate portrayal of the future or of the general behaviors of men and women. These are just theories, written thoughts.