Get Married before You Have Children

Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve always taken the idea of marriage seriously. I don’t care what society thinks. I don’t care what the current trends are. In my world, with my life, marriage is sacred. So I’m patient. I’ll wait forever if I have to in order to make sure that the woman I say “I do” to is once and for all time.

It’s not just because I take my vows seriously. It’s not just because it’s a vow made before God. Those things are important, but oddly enough, the most important thing to me when it comes to the concept of marriage is that I fully intend on bringing children into this world. In my eyes, all children are innocent. They are brought into this world, through no fault of their own, but by the actions of two individuals.

Thus, as parent, we owe it to them to be pillars of support, doing everything in our power to ensure their prospetiy. It is our duty. Our solemn responsibility to put everything else we had planned and put it back on the backburner, setting our children above everything, striving to make them better than we were, and being proud when they’ve succeeded us! That is etched into my personal constitution. It’s etched in my core and until the day I die I will never compromise on that belief. Trust me when I say it’s been tested and has cost me the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.

On March 15th 2008, my older brother called me while I was in the middle of delivering pizzas to tell me he had proposed to his girlfriend Nandi. On May 9th 2009, my older brother married his fiancé Nandi. And on November 20th, 2017, I learned that my older brother and his wife are expecting their first child. That was yesterday.

I can’t express how happy I am. It’s my dream to do what he’s done. It’s not just what he’s done, it’s how he’s done it. Anyone with the proper anatomy can have children. Just anyone can get rich or become famous. Right now, we live in a world where it seems everyone’s doing it the wrong way. They’re getting rich for the wrong reasons, famous for horrible things.

What I’m about to say might strike some people the wrong way, but I believe it’s not said enough. Because I’ve heard once too many times about how my mother and father aren’t grandparents yet. They say it in jest, I’m sure. They probably think its no big deal to point it out, but it is to me. It’s a very big deal.

You have no idea how disheartening it is to learn how others are having children out of wedlock. It’s their choice, their lives sure. But it affects those who have eyes to see and ears to hear. If you say I have no right to be bothered by it because of the way I’m choosing my life, I disagree. And it’s an argument none of us can win because our ethics on what’s right and wrong is clearly not on the same page.

I’ve never mentioned it before because I was afraid of hurting friends and family who have committed this. But the disappointment has always been there.

By the grace of God, my parents are about to become grandparents and the main reason why I am so proud of my brother and sister-in-law is because they did it the right way. It is an inspiration the likes of nothing I’ve ever felt in this world before. The Bible gives me hope and faith. But it’s examples of man throughout history that have inspired me, to show me that despite the massive wave of debilitating cynicism and doubt, it can be done.

And I guess, I don’t think I’ve ever seen an example that hits so close to home. I thank God for my brother and his wife. I hope that all who reads this account is inspired. To those who feel themselves a target of my criticism, I hope you know that I love you regardless.

To my mother, who’s endured so much, who I’ve heard smile and laugh with such joy at the news, I’m glad for you.

To my father, who yet yearns for a grandchild, I pray that you are granted with the same patience and prudence God has blessed me with. It will happen. But I’ll do it the right way. As shown by my brother.

God bless!

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