It’s always a heavy thing for me to write about a terrible incident that’s purely fictional, yet realistic.
I worry about those who may use my inventions as a blue print to carry out those incidents. Much like the movie “The Raven.” Should I not write them? It would be a bit hypocritical of me, I think. Once upon a time, I scoffed at rappers who brushed off responsibility when young kids idolized their ghetto mentality. If the day comes…I won’t brush off the responsibility. My conscience will be crushed, but I’ll continue to write regardless. If you were to ask me why, fully aware of the consequences…I’d tell you its because its worth the risk for a good story.
The following are just my thoughts conjured in the wake of a couple of discussions I had. In which I came to the conclusion that for some people, complimenting yourself may be a little bit more than necessary. Cause don’t hold your breath if you’re expecting some from your peers. Unless you go fishing that is…
I had a conversation with a lady friend the other day, where she criticized me for calling myself charismatic. She said that I’m not supposed to call myself charismatic and that others are supposed to do that. Otherwise it just looks bad on my part.
First off, I’d like to point out that its moments like these that reassures me that I’m not the arrogant jackass some individuals of my generation make me out to be. Cause if I was, I wouldn’t even be considering her thoughts, but label it as bullshit the moment she uttered the words.
She went on to say, as another person once pointed out, that it’s hard to decipher my personality because my behavior and my words contradict each other, they change like the weather.
So basically, I had to spill out for this girl that I behave differently depending on who I’m around and the environment that I’m in. Kind of like wearing a mask to guard and protect my fragile heart. (no lie, I might have fucked this metaphor up when I told it to her, so for that, I don’t blame her for still being confused)
But the point is, this is the second time I’ve had to explain this to a girl. And when I do, they seem so stunned or shocked. Today’s pop culture labels this behavior as “fake” or “pretentious”. I think it’s all so silly. I think its human nature. EVERYBODY FREAKING DOES THIS! Everyone changes their behavior, chooses their words more cautiously, depending on whom you’re talking to and where you’re at.
Not necessarily to believe in yourself in accomplishing your goals. But what I mean, is your feelings or opinions about another individual. Or about a situation. When you make a decision about someone or something, is it based on what you believe or what you want to believe? And if you do trust yourself and make a decision based on what you think you know…how accurate are you? I know this sounds convoluted and all over the place…but lately…I can’t get these questions out of my head.
Is being smart so important? Is it being two-faced to suppress your thoughts?
By – Rock Kitaro
Date – August 14, 2012
“Europe” By Yoko Kanno Press Play
“Rock…you don’t always have to say what’s on your mind. Even if your thoughts are blatant and unintentional…you have to think to yourself…Does this person need to know what you’re about to tell them? Follow Benjamin Franklin’s advice on this one. Count to ten before you respond. And if you’re angry, count to one hundred. Chances are that most people who come in contact with you, already know that you’re smart. You don’t have to always prove it. Because when you do, you inadvertently make the other person feel like an idiot. And who wants to be around a person like that?”
Stage In The Sky 