It’s time we talked about the masculine egos on full display on the Pop the Balloon dating show. It’s so obvious it’s almost cringe. And believe it or not, it’s coming from the least likely of genders.
When it comes to “ego” and conceited behavior, men have been chastised and scolded for decades about it. Since the reboot of James Bond in the 90s, it kept coming up to describe him in which James just shrugs it off.
In “Casino Royale,” there’s a line where Vesper tells James to take the next elevator because there’s not enough room for his ego. *queue the fake laughter
They’re accused of having an ego like it’s a bad thing and I always thought it was strange. Because when you ask a woman what she wants in a man, or what she finds attractive. They’ll say things like she wants him to be strong, confident, assertive, and “ambitious.”
So then…what’s an Ego? Merriam Webster has a convoluted definition, but plainly put from Google:
Alright…maybe they mean, “egotistical”. Let’s see what that means.
Oof…that sounds pretty bad. I’ve also seen phrases where a “large ego” or “massive ego” relates to people who think they’re “too important” or that they’re never wrong. Certainly not the qualities one wants in a husband, right? But is that what modern American Men known for? Let’s check out Exhibit A:
At first glance, maybe her response is warranted. For those who don’t know, allow me to explain. This is a show called “Pop the Balloon” where a single person is brought out for a line of possible suitors.
If the suitors don’t want to date the single person, they pop their balloon to take themselves out for consideration. If the suitors are attracted to the person, they hold onto their balloon and the person then goes down the line and one by one, eliminates the suitors from consideration.
Since the advent of this show, there’s been so many variations of it all around the world, from the UK to even places in Africa (this one was crazy) . There are some successes, so it’s not like the show is just there to humiliate people. People come far and wide to be on the original program that’s based in Houston, I think (correct me if I’m wrong).
But as per usual, with everything social media…we’re seeing evidence of behavior that backs up what Men have been saying for some time. Things men aren’t allowed to say in the mainstream and things “Normies” like to dismiss because they’re already married, they don’t have their ear to the ground, and they haven’t really been paying attention to anyone outside of their world/peripheral.
A lot of Women have Masculine Egos where it’s important for them to be seen or regarded as better than the men. It is very unattractive. I would call it “vanity” but having an exceedingly high opinion of yourself isn’t the issue at hand.
The ego I’m talking about, specifically when it comes to dating, involves the display or appearance of wanting to be superior or more impressive than others.
Yes, a lot of Men are guilty of this too…but we’re men! I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, but you have to understand that one of the traditional traits of masculinity is the competitive need to prove yourself better than others. Especially when there’s an audience.
Why do we as men do this?
Respect! Some people call it “saving face”!
How many times have you seen videos of Men talking about the importance of being respect by the woman they’re with? If you want a high value man, or someone who’s competent, ambitious, and confident, he’s going to need to know that the woman he’s with respects him for those qualities.
By respect, I mean he needs to know that you’re impressed with him, that you admire him, that you acknowledge his feats, his capabilities, and that he has your trust to guide and lead you.
Mind you, I’m talking about traditional, Christian, God-fearing men who were raised to love and care for his family the way God calls us to.
This is a man who isn’t egotistical, but he does know his worth and he takes his responsibilities seriously. That’s a man you’re going to want to marry and entrust with your future children.
That’s important to note, because too many of my fellow Millennials tend to think that awareness of your high value is the same as narcissism (like Simone Bile’s husband claiming men are the catch). As if we’re not allowed to recognize our self-worth and only women are, which is why a lot of guys self-deprecate and feign modesty just to make women feel like they’re his equal.
If a man doesn’t feel like you respect him, it doesn’t matter how smoking hot you are, or how badly you think everyone wants you, he’s likely going to be turned off and want nothing to do with you.
“But Rock! Women want to be respected too!!!”
Indeed…but here’s where Feminism and the Mainstream have failed you. What Men love and respect in a woman is DIFFERENT from what Women love and respect in a man. The problem with that, is instead of Women accepting that Men are free to desire and respect what they want in a woman, they demand (or feel entitled to) for a Men to let go of his own wants and accept her “I can do whatever I want as long as I’m happy” personality, lifestyle, and decisions.
Women may say they want a Man who makes six figures, six-feet-tall, with six pack abs. So, it makes sense that they admire a man for those things. However, that’s not what men want in a woman.
“Hang on, Rock! Are you trying to tell me that Women actually want a man with an ego?! Because I’m here to tell you that we don’t!”
You say that…but let’s say you’re out and about, and you see a hot guy across the room. You’re single. You find him super attractive. So badly you want him to get up and come talk to you, to shoot his shot…what do you think he needs to build up his confidence and courage to do that?
It may look like he’s bashful, nervous, or humble. But just like on a basketball court, a man isn’t going to shoot his shot unless he’s confident he’s going to make it (or the shot clock is running out). That confidence is wrapped up in his ego, knowing he has the skill and ability to make the flipping shot!
Even if you’re the kind of woman who believes no one should approach until you drop some subtle hint or clue giving him the green light (like staring at him and saying nothing, expecting him to read your mind)…unless you make it clear enough for a jury of his peers to believe, it still takes an Ego for that man to tell himself, “She’s not just being nice. She really likes me. She really wants me to approach.”
Am I wrong? Or is it only called “Confidence” if you approve of the person and called an “Ego” if you don’t. Very much like the below meme where it’s only called SA if you don’t find the guy attractive.
Then there are some guys who shoot their shot because they either got nothing to lose or they’re desensitized from failure because it’s happened so often. Is that the kind of guy you want? Because it seems to be the opposite of “competent.”
And because we still live in a society where the onus, the responsibility and pressure are on Men to make the first move and approach women…it makes sense why Men would have an ego. It’s a masculine trait.
“Alright, so what if we can appreciate the Ego or confidence or whatever…but we don’t like him acting like he’s better than us, as if he’s all high and mighty and we’re just lucky to be graced by his presence! Because that is a huge turn-off.”
What if he isn’t acting? What if he isn’t trying to make you feel like you’re beneath him, but it’s just YOUR ego that’s feeling threatened by who he is, what he’s done, or how he chooses to live.
Isn’t that what women accuse men of? That we’re threatened by her degrees, education, money, and resources? Why do you think some women would assume that? Is it because that’s how they’d personally feel if they were in the men’s shoes? Food for thought.
Let’s go back to Exhibit A. Medium Man reviewed a longer version of that clip here.
In the video, this beautiful black woman goes down the line of men who popped their balloons and the host asks why they popped the balloons.
Whenever the suitors give their reasons as to why they passed, the woman can then respond to that. The host usually asks, “and is he someone you’d see yourself going out with?” or “Is he your type?”
Now usually when this happens, I have seen some respectful responses from both men and women. Men tend to do a good job acknowledging and honoring the woman’s preference and not taking it too personal.
Although, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the attitude of this “Turtle Guy” who even most men found cringy.
But with some ladies…like the lady in Medium Man’s video…it’s so obvious that she’s going above and beyond to “save face”. She goes down the line of men and when asked if they’re her type, she insults and criticizes all of them as if they’re beneath her.
That woman is beautiful. But those guys aren’t exactly bums either.
And yet it’s funny. If you see the video, there is one guy who didn’t pop his balloon for her. She didn’t insult him or say he wasn’t her type…until…UNTIL he finally popped his balloon.
That’s when she said, “It’s okay, ‘cause I was gonna say no, too!”
She looks into the camera to say this. Why did she do that? What does she gain by saying that? Why was it so important for her to make that known? The sisterhood? Was she trying to make sure she stood up for the Women out there? To let these guys know they ain’t ish and none of them measured up?
Let’s Go to Exhibit B…
Here we have the Shoulder Shimmy Girl who managed to get everyone to pop their balloon because she couldn’t help but call another suitor “Broke.”
Again…it’s about respect.
I’d argue that Men need this from women more than women need this from men. Get in the comments and tell me I’m wrong if you want. But in the video, you have a group of men who barely know each other…but they saw how this woman disrespected a man by calling him broke and that was enough for all of them to pass.
And of course, when asked if the men were her type, she says “No. Let’s move on.” While doing the shoulder shimmy and making sure the camera’s on her.
“I think you’re reading too much into this, Rock. No one’s going onto these shows to find serious relationships. It’s all about clout chasing and building brand recognition.”
Perhaps…Let’s check out this last reel, Exhibit C…which was actually sent by my wife. And I think it’s probably the most obvious example.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DD2bSuDyAqO/?igsh=MXJmbWdrNHh3Nzd6eg%3D%3D
Here, you have a guy addressing a lineup of female suitors. He’s handed a pick. He pops the balloon of a woman he doesn’t want to go out with. He wasn’t being mean. Wasn’t being disrespectful. It’s just part of the process.
But when the host asks the woman why she kept her balloon un-popped for him…you can tell. She racked her brain trying to come up with the most soul-crushing insults she can find, just to make it seem like he’s the one who missed out, as if he’s the one beneath her.
That attitude of “needing” to prove to the world that they’re better is hurting a lot of ladies.
I blame Disney, Marvel, Feminism, and the mainstream culture for pushing the idea of Equality and anything a man can do, a woman can do. It’s Millennial Women, not just black women.
They’re imbued with this idea that somehow, it’s a bad thing to be with a man who might be better than you, better looking than you, stronger than you, more financially stable than you, or smarter than you.
I find it hard to believe the women of the past had this attitude back when they depended on men to hunt, building the houses they lived in, and protected the family and livestock from bandits and bears. Which, men still do but on a lesser scale. I say that for all the ladies scolding black men to step up and protect them. That’s not our jobs. It’s your husband’s.
Yeah, you can say that men aren’t the same as our grandfathers either, but we’re still men. By and large, we haven’t drifted into the lane of wanting to be feminine and have our women fight our battles or provide for and protect us. And those who do don’t make up the majority. In fact, those guys are mocked by other men behind the scenes while it’s the Leftist ladies who encourage and support those Feminine Men.
And if you’re Christian, then you know we’re called to be the leaders of our households with our wives submitting to our headship. It’s not because we’re toxic, crave control, or want “slaves” to cater to our every whim as the mainstream would have you believe.
It’s because that’s how God instructs us to live. (Ephesians 5), which is why a lot of self-proclaimed Christian women really don’t want Christian men who live by Bible standards.
1 Peter 3:3-4 discusses how a woman’s beauty shouldn’t come from her outward adornment like her cloths or hairstyle, but rather, it should be that of her inner self, the gentle and quiet spirit. He uses the example of Sarah, who was the quintessential helpmate to Abraham.
A woman’s beauty shines through her acts of service, love, and kindness. Men have their flaws, for sure…but I say, let the man have his ego.
If his strengths and air of superiority shines whether it’s deliberately or inadvertently, embrace it! As I mentioned in my essays about finding a wife on dating sites, one of the biggest things that attracted me to Julia was that she wasn’t afraid to show her admiration for what I’ve done.
A lot of ladies were. In my experience, a lot of ladies (Millennials my age) sneered when they heard how I lost over 170 pounds, or that I published my own books, or that I work at a law firm, or how I’ve read the entire Bible twice now.
In fact, they were put-off by my accomplishments so much so that I went years just keeping a lot of this to myself because I didn’t want to seem like I was “too good for them.”
But hiding and holding back is not what I want in a marriage. So, when I finally found someone who I didn’t have to wear the Clark Kent disguise for because she simply recognized and appreciated that I am Superman, so to speak…that’s the woman I latched on to.
“So, what you’re saying is…you need a woman who caters to your ego.”
Name one man on the planet who doesn’t want to be seen as the hero to the woman he’s with. If you won’t let him be that hero, if you insist on wanting to be the hero too…
“How about a sidekick! Can we be that? Or do you just want us all to be weak, helpless, damsels in distress?”
Even if I said you could indeed be the sidekick…would that be enough for you?
Because, with that attitude, I don’t believe for one second that you desire to be the sidekick or the 2nd mate or…as the Bible puts it…a helpmate (Gen 2:18). That’s the Feminism and modern Western culture that’s fixed in your worldview. Which is why Women can’t be Passport Bros (unless you’re from a more gender-traditional country coming to America).
Some people have exaggeratedly compared Feminism to cancer and I think it’s horrible to be so hyperbolic…but I’m sorry…the obstinance to simply let go, to humble yourselves and follow God’s instructions on the roles of Husbands and Wives…it’s going to bite you in the long run.
You might not care about it now while you’re in your sexual prime and can get any man you want…but Tiktok is replete with women in their 40s who are alone, single, and childless lamenting how they wasted their youth and still, still can’t figure out where all the “good men have gone.”
If you want that man to work his butt off and sacrifice for you and the family, it would behoove you to instill him with confidence and appreciation, to demonstrate that you believe in him, to encourage his endeavors and prop him up as your hero. Cater to his ego.
I don’t agree with everything Andrew Tate says, but every now and then, he drops some nuggets of gold. Don’t let it go to waste.
Stage In The Sky 