Stage In The Sky

At this point, there are over 1,500 Dating Apps. There are some that are just for black people. Some for people over 50. There are some that claim they’re just for Christians. Which one should you go with? Which one gives you the best chance to find that special someone?

Points Discussed:

1. Bumble.com
2. OKCupid and Plenty of Fish
3. Tinder:
4. E-Harmony and Christian Mingle – The Christian Sites
5. Match.com

Allow me to begin by stating that I have NOT tried all or even most of the dating sites that are out there. In the points discussed above, you’ll the see the ones I have experience with and it makes sense, given my intentions.

Also! Keep in mind that Dating Apps are a business. A company called Match Group owns many of the platforms I’m going to discuss and they rake in over $3 billion in revenue. That business model works if people stay on the Apps and don’t make any connections. So, while it makes sense for people to say, “get off the dating apps”…I’m here to say that they do actually work. If you use them right.

Bumble.com

First up, is Bumble.com.

Back in 2021, Bumble was the one I was excited to use first, because in order for the Men to communicate with Women, the woman must like and message the man FIRST. And if you swipe right on her, she now has 24-hours to message you before you disappear from her queue.

I “thought” this was an awesome concept to counter these modern MeToo Times.

As one who’s has been falsely accused of Sexual Harassment, I liked this idea. If the woman approaches the man first, she’s not likely to accuse him of sexual harassment or being a creep or giving her “unwanted sexual attention” right? This is Female Empowerment! Bumble should be a no brainer, right?

Haha, well…I should’ve known.

First off, if you weren’t aware, the stereotypes about Women craving Male Attention are true. These are generalizations, of course. So, if what I’m saying doesn’t apply to you as an individual, congrats. But let’s not dismiss this and act like it’s not happening.

A lot of women have admitted that they sometimes use Dating Apps as a source of validation, like their morning dopamine hit. Some have admitted that they check the dating apps just to see who liked them, and that reminder of how they’re so desired is just what they need to start their day feeling good about themselves.

What’s that got to do with Bumble? Well…It’s the tacit equivalent of tapping a guy on his shoulder and asking, “do you think I look cute?,” just to walk away and never see him again once you know what he thinks of you.

I know this sounds silly and illogical. But stick with me, class, we’re just getting started.

Even if they LIKE you with the intent of finding a serious relationship, a lot of them still want men to do the pursuing, to put forth the most effort, and show that courage in approaching them. Thus, Bumble’s “Women Must Like You First” concept feels more like women saying,

“Consider yourself blessed that I’ve given you the opportunity to please me. Now dance!”

Lol, perhaps I’m exaggerating a bit. But you get the point.

I gave Bumble a shot for 3 months, and out of the hundreds of ladies in my 25-mile radius who I swiped right on, only one woman swiped right on me. And once she swiped right on me, she let the 24 hours lapse so I never even had a chance with her.

Maybe she had second thoughts about me? Maybe she lacked the courage to message me? Or maybe she found someone else. I’ll never know.

Needless to say, I had absolutely no success with Bumble back in 2021. Thus, I wasn’t going to waste my time when I tried dating apps again in 2024, especially after all the backlash the company’s been getting.

In recent years, Bumble was embroiled in controversy from stupid billboards encouraging women not to be celibate. It was so tone deaf.

Also, it’s just by chance that I Manosphere Highlights Daily released a video on the dating apps, and apparently, Bumble ended it’s gimmick of the women having to message first…sort off.

Looks like they have this thing called “Opening Moves” where they create a question that a male match can answer before she’s messaged him. But of course, you still gotta match with somebody. Which, if you’re a guy, requires just swiping right on everyone in the hopes that one of them will match.

That being said, I do gotta give a shout-out to Niel’s daughter who was able to find her man on Bumble. Looks like if you’re a woman with a good head on your shoulders, you should still be able to find a decent man to marry. I would say you have the pick of the litter, but I wouldn’t know.

On that note…Hinge deserves an honorable mention, because I’ve seen a lot of women talk about using it on Tiktok, and the concept seems pretty respectable. On Hinge, the app was supposed designed to “be deleted.” Meaning once you found someone, it’s supposed to be deleted on your phone.

But it kind of reminds me of the saying, “if all men were angels, there’d be no laws.” Apps aren’t the problem. People are. And if you can easily re-sign back up, the concept seems pointless.

OKCupid and Plenty of Fish

These seemed pretty much interchangeable to me. Similar platforms that were free, with “options” to sucker people into paying so they can see who “swiped right” on them.

For those who don’t know, with most of these sites, signing up is free. And as soon as you do, you’ll get a whole bunch of notification emails letting you know that women are “Liking” you.

Awesome, right?

Problem is, you can only see who these matches are if you pay for the membership.

Which “sounds” reasonable…but you gotta be careful with fake profiles and bots, pretty much giving you false hope and enticing you to spend your money. Meaning, you paid for nothing.

This is actually a BIG DEAL and the crux of a lawsuit being files against MatchGroup, which was discussed an MHD’s aforementioned video. These sites are accused of manipulating people with false hope to spend money and basically penalizes users for not being addicted to it.

For example, they’ll claim that the more profiles you like, the more your profile will be shown to others. And the less active you are, the less you’ll be shown to others. Which kinda sounds fair. It makes sense that people who are more active should be shown to others because they’re clearly putting in an effort to find someone. But it gets nefarious when you’re not getting a shot at the attractive profiles advertised.

It’s kinda of like playing the Slots in a casino. Last year, I went to Vegas for the first time and played slots at the Mirage. I noticed that I didn’t start winning until I was down to my last few spins. And suddenly, with five bucks left, I won about $126 on my next spin (the real photo of my win).

I could be wrong. Maybe I got lucky. But I think this was deliberate to entice me to spend my winnings and pour more money into the machine. Needless to say, I cashed out with a $100 profit.

What’s happening on Dating Apps, is that most people don’t cash out with their winnings. They keep playing and end up losing their winnings with the HOPE of winning more, which comes in the form of ghosting people as well as ignoring the likes or messages they are getting, in the HOPES of finding someone more attractive.

From what I saw, these sites seemed to be mainly for hookups. A lot of profiles had no shame in admitting it. There’s a section where you can plainly display that you’re down for hook-ups.  And of course, to me, it shows their level of intelligence when they select that they’re also looking for long-term relationships.

What I mean by that, if you’re a woman who’s looking to get married and enter a long-term relationship, you should know that you have the power to attain it, if you require your man to marry you before you give him your body.

Of course, that is if you want what you “say” you want.

Also with these sites, I noticed that the class of women were a bit…I hate to say “trashy,” but if I used the word, you’ll understand what I’m talking about. I’m sure women can say the same about the men they saw too.

The up-side to these dating sites is that they have the most users.

This means, you can still get around the less suitable prospects to find what you’re looking for because there’s more people to choose from. But even when you do like someone, unless you pay, it’s like throwing a Hail Mary into the end zone in hoping that the person you liked, 1) sees your interest, 2) is interested in you as well, and 3) finds some way to make that interest known.

In 2014, during my first stint with Online Dating…I was able to go out on a date with one woman from OKCupid, which I’ll talk about in my next post about the “Failed Matches”.

But overall, Plenty of Fish and OKCupid seemed like a waste of time and money for a man who 1) is trying to live by Bible standards and 2) plans on waiting until marriage to have sex.

Why? Because with so many options on these sites, and from the way the ladies presented themselves, I have no doubt that even IF they liked my character and admired my faith and values…they still have dozens if not hundreds to choose from. It may take them a while of trying others before they get to little ole me.

Lol, it reminds me of a game show I saw back in 2017, where the host asked the couple how they first met. The man says they met on a dating app, where he messaged her first…but it took her six months to respond.

And as the camera focused on her face, she had an awkward look of embarrassment as she looked around the audience because everyone and their mothers knew what had happened.

And maybe that’s nothing to be ashamed of? Maybe it’s reasonable for a woman to go through a roster of men before finally getting to you?

Tinder:

Not much to say here. I never even gave it a shot. I just remember when it first gained steam and, in 2013, a Greek girl I used to “talk to” brought it up and was like:

“Rock! Did you hear about Tinder? It’s this App where you can find other people in your area who are down to fuck. If you swipe right on them, and they swipe right on you, you can meet up and do it. It shows you their location and everything!”

That’s how she pitched it to me. I’m not sure if it’s the same concept now, but as you may have gathered by now, I hate the hook-up culture. I blame it for a lot of our problems as Millennials, so I refused to even give Tinder a shot.

And what’s horrible still…sometime after she told me about that site, she claimed she found my picture on the site. I’m not sure who she saw, but it wasn’t me. She was adamant, leading me to believe someone was using my pic to catfish others, or maybe it was just a bot.

Either way, I’ve not, nor will I ever touch Tinder.

E-Harmony and Christian Mingle – The Christian Sites

Oh boy…this is gonna ruffle some feathers. With all my talk about sticking to Bible principles and waiting until marriage, E-Harmony and Christian Mingle should have been my first choice, right? Seems like a no-brainer.

Well…a few years back, I wrote an essay called the “Top 3 Reasons that Cause Me to Lose Interest in Women who Claim to be Christian.”

One of those reasons were, “They Don’t Take Their Looks Seriously and Believe You Shouldn’t Either”. There’s a lot of single Christians who do not hit the gym, they’re out of shape, and they don’t understand the importance of being pleasing to the eye.

Rebecca was beautiful. Esther was beautiful. Even Saul and David were remarkable for their beauty, so it’s nothing to slight or dismiss as if Christians shouldn’t pay any mind to it. I’m not saying beauty is the “MOST” important thing, but it is important.

The problem with E-Harmony and Christian Mingle was the small amount of female users compared to other dating sites. Statistics “claim” there’s actually more users on E-harmony than OKCupid and Plenty of Fish…but there’s a problem…

The site only shows you a limited number of options based on what you set for your preferences. Meaning, even IF there are hundreds of women on E-Harmony, it’ll only show you 15-20 women based on your preference and compatibility.

And of those twenty, maybe two are attractive at all. The above photo you see is misleading. Most of the women I saw on E-harmony were very unsightly and I’m not trying to mean or funny in saying that. If anything it should be criminal because you can’t find any of this out UNTIL you pay.

Furthermore…I highly doubt I was the only one experiencing this. Which means, most of the guys are all going for those two hot girls that’s being shown to them.

“Seriously, Rock!? You act like those other women were all ugly. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder! Just because you didn’t find them attractive, it doesn’t mean the other men didn’t like them.”

I sincerely hope that’s the case. Because I really do hope everyone finds someone.

I remember getting at least one match in which we struck up a “talking phase”. She was okay in terms of looks…but at this point, I was grateful just to get anything (which is wretched position to be in).

This girl was from the Caribbean and her Christianity was a little concerning. She believed in a concept called Continuationism where she believes prophets, supernatural miracles, and God talking to you through your dreams still exists like it did for the Apostles in the New Testament after Christ ascended.

I’m not saying she’s wrong…it’s all based on her interpretation of the Scriptures. Problem is, I just can’t trust a woman like that in marriage.

Why? Because who’s to say she won’t challenge your every decision and move, all because she thinks she has the backing of God who talked to her in her dreams?

For instance, if I decide to move the family to a certain part of town, but she wants to live somewhere else because “God told her so,” she can use that to reject my authority as the head of our family because God is above the husband’s authority. (Ephesians 5:22-24)

It’s a bit dangerous, so I passed.

Lastly, and oddly enough, these Christian dating sites are also the most expensive.

E-Harmony cost an arm and leg, which seems very un-Christian like for a site that’s supposed to prioritize bringing people together in holy matrimony. I think I paid $360 for 6 months and during that time, I only found 3 of the 20 options presented to me as attractive. I was robbed.

Again, I’m coming from a man’s perspective. I don’t think it’s a good idea for Men!

However, if you’re a good looking Christian woman, you’re in shape, and you strive to put God first, you may have better success on those dating sites.

But your mind has to be in the right place. Meaning, when you find that guy who you know will be good for you, you have to suppress the stupid thought of, “I wonder what else is out there. I wonder if I can do better.”

Because not all Christians are wise. A twelve-year-old might be a better Christian than me in terms of faith and obedience, but foolish when it comes to who’s her true friends.

Match.com

Match is the one I’d recommend for anyone mature and seriously looking to find someone for marriage. It’s the one I used in both 2021 and 2024. It’s the one that got me the most matches where I was able to get phone numbers and talk to women. And it’s the one where I found my future wife.

I never tried Hinge or Zoosk or the rest of the numerous Dating Apps that have popped up over the years, so I can’t speak on those.

With Match.com, yes you have to pay to get the genuine experience. But I also heard good things about Match before I even signed up. One of the attorneys I worked for over the years found her husband through Match. They’re still together with three wonderful kids and I was the videographer for their wedding.

So, in 2021, when my boss gave me money from the “Find Rock a Wife Fund,” I put it in Match.com and immediately, my spirits were lifted. It’s very affordable. You can see who’s also a paying customer so you don’t have to waste your time talking to ladies who probably won’t return your messages.

You can upload a number of photos, see other people’s preferences, and filter out things like age, location, whether the person has children, or if they claim to be Christian or political. Very easy. Very efficient.

And as I mentioned in my previous posts about the time spent on the Dating Sites, Match.com was convenient in that it emailed me available matches on a daily basis.

If someone sent me a like or messaged me, it’d email me so I didn’t need to log back in until I had something to log back in for. Based on that alone, I could responsibly control how much time I was spending on the site.

The only thing I thought was weird about Match.com…and women in general if I’m being honest, was that most of the matches I got from young, attractive women were all long-distance.

I live in the Tampa Bay area and most of the interest I was getting was from Orlando. I had one from South Carolina, another in North Carolina. Several from Georgia and one from Nevada.

It didn’t make sense to me and I thought they were all bots at first because why on earth, if you live in Charlotte, would you look for and match with a guy in Tampa, Florida?

From a Red Pill lens, it reeked of suspicious behavior. I suspected ladies wanted someone who was far away because it’d easier to cheat and date multiple men at the same time without getting caught. It’s extremely prejudicial of me, and yet, not entirely irrational.

With a few ladies who matched with me, I asked them about this. Two were in the medical field and once they finished their degree, they said they were able to move to any part of the country, and both had their eyes on the Tampa Bay area.

Okay. Made sense. But still…it wasn’t ideal. Furthermore, where are all the ladies is in the Tampa Bay area? Hahaha! Why on earth was it that the only ones I could viably match with were all long-distance? I figured it’s because my competition were all more appealing than me.

What do I mean? Well…

I don’t have a boat. I don’t drink. I don’t go to a lot of the sporting events and bars which the Bay area is known for. And when I started going to Crunch fitness, as much as I saw a lot of hot ladies all over the place, no homo, but I also saw a lot of tall good-looking guys. These were my competition.

White dudes, Latino dudes, even black dudes who seemed to have it all together, not Pookies and Ray-Rays, but obvious former athletes. Lol, so my competition here in the Tampa Bay area was stacked against me. Hence you get sayings like, “You might be an 8 where you’re from, but in this city, you’re a 5 at best”.

Anyways…Match.com was the winner. Match was where I found my future wife and if I were to recommend a site to anyone looking for a long term relationship, Match would be the way to go.

In the next post, I’m going to air it all out and reveal the top five matches from online dating that didn’t work out.

And to be honest, I’m grateful for those experiences because they helped me to grow as an individual and obtain the wisdom to spot exactly what I needed in a wife! Stay tuned, follow and subscribe.