Stage In The Sky

Recently, the Daily Rap Up Crew hosted Dr. Umar to discussed culture and relationships within the Black Community. Dr. Umar opines that Black Women have every reason to be angry at Black Men. Let’s talk about it…

Dr. Umar’s Points:

• Black Men Should Only Be with Black Women
• Black Women Can’t Talk to African Men the same Way the Talk to American Men
• Black Men are Responsible for Single Parent Households
• Black Men are Responsible for the “Poor Selection”
• Black Men Don’t Provide for the Community

My issue with his points boils down to this. If Black Men are responsible for all that, do we also have the power and authority? Can we force others to do things against their will? Can we drag someone by the scruff of their neck or block them from entering a strip club? Can we go into homes and confiscate all the rap music and take it outside to burn them? Are we allowed to kick down doors and stop unmarried people from having sex?

I take this personally because I see what’s going on in the “Black Community”. We see that it’s getting progressively worse. WE KNOW that the main problem is the lack of families and the epidemic of single-parent households where children aren’t being raised with strong fathers in the household and the subsequent lack of Christianity…but exactly do they expect us to do?

If your argument is that I should then go into the hoods and mentor the Black Community where young boys and girls are being raised without a father…People are already doing that. Allow me to introduce you to two examples.

One is King Randall. I found out about this guy by watching Jason Whitlock’s show and he’s absolutely amazing.

Taken from the Youtube Video: “At 23 years old, King Randall has accomplished more to impact change in his community than the prominent black social justice warriors of our time. Randall operates the Life Preparatory School for Boys. It’s a free boarding school for at-risk youth in his hometown of Albany, Georgia. Its mission is to provide an education and discipline to the students and turn out young men ready to make a difference in their communities. He recently took to Twitter to call out all weak black men. “Speaking at schools, ‘mentoring’ on podcasts etc. will never ever do anything serious.”

What Randall’s doing is awesome. But I’m not Randall. I never fit in with “Black Culture”. In fact, I was rejected by it for not being black enough. Thus, while my message is aimed at everyone, it makes sense why I mostly resonate with people who are like me…never having fit in with their respective cultures, but found solace with God, or they’re looking for God. It’s a comforting and encouraging message for them to know they are not alone.

But also…is it really weak for people not to go back to the hoods and try to change it? Because there’s also an argument of whether or not it’s wise to go back. Bringing me to a man named Terrence Favors Denson.

This guy, I remember writing about him last year in September 2022, but I never finished publishing the essay. That essay was titled, “How did Jesus Help Those Who Hated Him?”

Terrance Favors Denson was shot and killed outside a sports bar in the Atlanta area. Terrance was my age (36).  Terrance’s story is truly remarkable because the June prior, he lost his own 15-year-old son to gun violence. And instead of raging out and seeking vengeance, Terrance went back to the hood and started an organization committed to steering the youth away from crime and gang culture. He focused on trying to save other young black people, so that other parents wouldn’t have to suffer what he suffered.  

When shots were fired during a softball game, resulting in the death of one and injuring several others, Terrance saved a 6-year-old girl’s life. And within 90 days of having lost his own son, Terrance was gunned down. That story…truly hurt my heart. I believe Satan has a way of making examples of such individuals. At the same time, part of me feels its arrogant to think I have any control.

Christ encourages us to at least try, to be like the sower. A mustard seed is so small but can grow to become the biggest trees. Maybe one day I can be like Terrance and King Randall. I just know myself well. I might not have a criminal record or explode with violence because I’m disrespected. But at the same time, I’m pretty good about not putting myself in a position to be disrespected or to commit a crime either.

Dr. Umar’s rhetoric might sound like music to your ears if you’re looking for excuses to lean on, but is it really the fault of Black Men? Are we really to believe that the Good Black Men are so scarce and rare, that a Black Woman has NO CHOICE but to go for the Pookie and Ray-Rays or those who are incarcerated?

And EVEN IF they go for the Bad Men, how is it the fault of the Good Black Men that those women don’t get married before having a child? Think about that. Let’s say Dr. Umar is right, and women have no choice but to settle for the Bad Black Men…what’s preventing them from getting married before you carry? Because I believe most of us can agree that the MAIN issue with the Black Community is the lack of two-parent households.

Honestly, the way Dr. Umar talks, it really does sound like he’s comparing the agency of Black Women to children who can’t be relied on to make wise decisions.

And if Black Men are “responsible”…shouldn’t we have greater authority? And why is it that whenever something good happens in the Black Community, we’re quick to give all or most of the credit to Black Women. But whenever it’s something bad, you’re shamed for so much as daring to hold the women responsible? Food for thought.