Stage In The Sky

This was in response to an article I read on OKCupid about Feminism. Click Here for the Link.

Basically, it reveals surveys in which women answer whether they prefer to pursue men or be the one who’s pursued. And with all this talk about gender equality and the breakdown of traditional gender roles, a Mr. Ryan Jackson essentially hit the nail on the head when he said, “Only Women Get to Have This Choice. Men Don’t.”

This is the main reason why I had to stop online dating. Because, try I as I might, I noticed that it was decreasing my respect for women. Why? Because I have self-respect. I think any man who does would eventually feel a type of way if they’re pursuing women by sending private messages and don’t even get so much as a “no thank you.”

And I know. Some men go overboard. Even if you say “no thank you” they’ll hit you with a “Why?” or might even curse you out. But that’s “some men” not all, not even most. With the #MeToo hysteria and sexual misconduct that’s been flooding the news, it’s understandable why women would be more on guard than usual. At the same time, women should also understand why Good Men (the majority of us) are probably going to be more reluctant than usual to approach women in real life. So it looks like online dating might be a man’s only option. But still…self-respect.

Mind you, self-respect is different from self-esteem. Self Respect is knowing your worth and respecting yourself not to diminish it be stooping too low. It’s basically, having standards. Self-esteem is the confidence one has. I believe this fluctuates and doesn’t necessarily go hand-in-hand with self-respect. A king can lose confidence on a given day but still maintain and hold fast to the standards he set for himself.

I was watching the Ellen Game Show, I think was on Wednesday, where a man said that he was getting married. “How did you meet?” said Ellen DeGeneres. “Oh, we met through online dating. She finally contacted me after three months.” the man said.

Now…It could have been that this woman was off the internet and had no idea that this man had even sent her a message for three months. But even Ellen, realized, as I suspect most of the audience and myself did, that this woman was exploring all her options and finally landed on this man.

I guess, that’s the way it is now and men should get with the program? Then I guess I’m a rebel to the system. I love and respect women as I was taught and raised to do. So I brush off the seeping resentment spraying from the breaking waves of MeToo outrage. I hold on to the faith that not all women subscribe to the idea that men should huddle in packs with flowers, all screaming at the same women, flowers in hands, saying “look my way! Take a chance on me!” Which is more or less my interpretation of online dating.

I know cultures have cycles and the Feminists will eventually overplay their hands so much that the outspoken minority will finally piss off the silent majority of women. I just hope it’s not too late. And by too late, I’m talking about when old age hits and their good looks have faded, when women have let themselves go, or borne children out of wedlock, or have become so overly dependent on the adoration of their pets, that they cast off their own hopes of co-habitation with another human. I know all this sounds harsh and ignorant and it’s just my opinion.

And yes, men let themselves go too. Pointing out observations about one group or gender, doesn’t mean I’m oblivious to the flaws of the other. Also, I’m aware that you probably know men who don’t care about a woman’s appearance, or the fact that she has a couple of kids. My step-father was one and I love and respect him wholeheartedly.

But speaking on behalf of myself, as a man who used to weigh 378lbs and worked hard to get down to a healthy athletic 210, as a man who’s read the Bible from cover to cover to learn the answers of life and better myself in the eyes of God, and more importantly to the subject, as a man who’s survived the bitter effects of divorce and went through hell by being twisted and manipulated by two sets of parents with two different ideologies…I knew ever since I was a teenager that I never want to put my son or daughter through that.

Ladies, my loving sisters, the reason why I’m revealing all this is to let you know that not all men are the same. Chivalry is not dead. Gentlemen do exists. And regardless what Eddie Murphy and the plethora of comedians have told you, all men do not cheat. I’m a 31 year old virgin. I say that with pride. You should take from it, that I and brothers like myself possess commitment and discipline. These are the marks of men who will never cheat on you, abuse you, or take the love you provide for granted. Because we know how precious it is. And we know that it’s not guaranteed that everyone will have that kind of love.