While I was getting my metal fix listening to Dir En Grey, my hunger for good kpop, that mellow, that yin to my yang, never ceased. By early March 2007, I had replayed H.O.T, DBSK, and Big Bang songs as much as I could…but I needed something new.
Back then, I was part of a kpop forum where users had threads of their favorite groups and singers. I believe it was called z-degrees.net. And one particular thread had a massive collection of kpop discographies. We’re talking every album ever produced before 2006 was here for the stealing. Pretty much what it was. But at the time, in my 20-year-old mind, I didn’t see it as stealing. I saw it as sharing.
Anyways, I discovered that my legendary H.O.T., had produced more than just the five albums I originally found. They produced a soundtrack called Age of Peace, OPT. Of course this was a treat for me. Because it was rockin, reminiscent of their “Iyah” album. But I also found out that the lead singer, Kangta, wrote a song for a rival/contemporary group called NRG, titled “Sad Rain.”
The song struck a chord with me. I can’t say that it blew me away from the get-go, but it definitely lingers long after you hear it. So I sought out NRG to see what this band was about. And lol, it was the next video I saw that hooked me.
Hahaha! So let me explain. Because if you’ve read my memoirs up to this point, you’ll find a contradiction with me. I’m not keen on groups imitating one another. I don’t like the idea of everyone cashing in on a trend. I respect creativity, the pioneering of treading into uncharted territory.
However, I will say that I’m in favor of artists of all walks of life, whether you’re a writer, painter, sculptor, actor, or musician…if you admire another artist, imitate them and then go a step further in the pursuit of doing better than what they did…I can applaud that. Sort of like how Michael Jackson admired James Brown and Jackie Wilson, imitated them, and then went on to do something better. No lie, I had a huge debate in my class about this back then.
The problem with today’s music is that there are too many who are merely content on doing exactly the same of their contemporaries, following the same formula, comfortable with that niche without the courage of showing any individuality that might separate them from that which they set out to copy in the first place.
Goes without saying, H.O.T was the first of its kind when it comes to kpop music that blended rock, rap, and dance pop elements. Next to them came Sechskies of DSP Entertainment to give H.O.T. a run for their money. Then, it was NRG.
Despite how much I absolutely loved and played out “Messenger,” it was hard to look past the thought that NRG was still merely an imitation of H.O.T. Not a cheap imitation by any means, but an imitation nonetheless.
That was…until I heard their third album and the song, “Face”
The thing that separates NRG from H.O.T and the other bands is their rap and the intensity of their songs. Their third album in particular…my God. “Face” is from their third album, but there’s another song that’s 10x more significant.
You gotta understand, NRG was a boyband, a kpop group on paper. But their music, their lyrics, their rap and blended genres…Just listen to this song and you’ll see what I’m talking about:
NRG “Guwoh 003”
Unfortunately…tragedy struck this group just after the release of their third album.
Wherever Col. Jake Buchanan goes, he has to register as a sex offender.
His ex-wife used a website that catered to married people looking to engage in affairs. When hackers broke into this website and exposed the thousands of adulterers, the wife divorced Jake and convinced their children to tell the courts that he had molested them. He spent six years in prison. His life was ruined. But he still loves her. He still loves his little girls. That’s why Jake’s a Paramour.
After Gladys defects from a deadly society of Feminists, they send wave after wave of mercenaries to hunt her down. The Paramours have tracked her location to the snowy wilderness of Alberta, Canada. They have to find her before its too late. But even when they do…it’s not like Snow leopards are known for playing nice.
Jake Buchanan – The Hopeless Commander By Rock Kitaro
“There was this girl. Her name was Jamie. I knew we went to the same school. I’d seen her around campus, but it wasn’t till my sophomore year that I found out we stayed in the same housing complex. She was just across the hallway.
“The first time we spoke, it was like magic. Pretty eyes. Long sandy blonde hair. She had such a sweet smile. It was contagious. But she smoked. That was kind of…I’m like damn, dude. Haha! Don’t let those good looks go down the drain. But to each his own, I guess. I didn’t judge.
“It’s like a moment you see in the movies, boy meets girl. Except it’s the next-door neighbor. One day, when we were walking out at the same time, I introduced myself. I remember my voice was shakin’ like crazy. But she seemed smitten. You know, her cheeks lit up bright red. We talked about this, that, and the other, and it was cool. I thought we hit it off.
“Then I went and did a Google search on her. I know people might call that creepy or whatever but, I dunno. I just wanted to know more about her without asking all these invasive questions. I didn’t have the ‘right’ to know. But still, I wanted to know. I clicked on the images tab and scrolled down to find her. And that’s when I was floored, man.
“I found a shot of her in her bathroom, like a webcam. Turns out this girl was using Backpages to hook up with sugar daddies in Denver. I couldn’t believe it. She seemed so clean and pure. Like if you talked to her, you would have never guessed that sex was something she was even into. I know that sounds stupid because everyone’s into sex. But that’s not the impression she gives off.
“Weeks after I found out, I kept it to myself, but it was just by coincidence that we ended up having the same class. Her world seemed to revolve around environmental studies. She was all up in arms about that pipeline the government wanted to run through the Indian Reservation. Again, my point being, prostitution is the last thing you’d expect. And the truth is, I was madly in love with this girl. Like, heads over heels man.
“One night I came home from a long shift of delivering pizzas. And I saw her crying on the steps. Someone had beat the shit out her and it pissed me off. Seriously, , her face was all swollen, black and blue. The neck hole of her shirt was all stretched out. I could see scratch marks on her shoulders. Man…Just thinking about it again, it’s like setting me on fire, you know.
“I asked her what was wrong but she wouldn’t tell me. She just said she wanted to be left alone. So I did, at first. I left her alone. But, I couldn’t just go in and rest easy knowing the girl of my dreams needed help.
“Bout a half hour later, I went back out with a bottle of water and she was still there. She let me treat her injuries. I had like, gauze and Neosporin or some shit.
“The way she looked at me, it was like a puppy I just took in from the freezing rain. I tried to get her to open up and tell me what happened but she wouldn’t. She just said she was going through some things and everything would be alright.
“And that’s when I messed up. It’s like…a thousand voices in my head was screaming ‘NO!!!’ But that one voice in my heart said, ‘Do it, she needs help!’ So I did.
“I went ahead and told her that I knew she was on Backpages. She didn’t deny it. If anything, she seemed relieved.
“I told her that I thought she was ten times more precious than she probably knew. I told her how impressive her dissertation was. I told her I learned more from her than I did the goddamn teachers. I said she was beautiful, smart, and full of so much potential. There are better ways to earn money. Whatever she was being paid, I guaranteed her it was pennies to the fucking dollar of what she was actually worth!
“She cried. And I cried with her. I would’ve given her a hug right then and there. It was cold outside. I should have wrapped her up in my arms and told her everything was gonna be alright. But I didn’t. I thought, that would be taking advantage of her and I didn’t want to do that. It just didn’t seem right.
“So, I helped her up and escorted her to her apartment. I never entered in with her. But what I told her was, ‘Jamie…I stay right there. If you ever need any help, if you ever need someone to talk to, just let me know. You have my number. I barely sleep. So just call anytime.
“And she smiled as I thought we were cool. I told her good night and went to my own apartment thinking, you know, I did something good. I was proud of myself. Not only for consoling her and imparting some sense of self-worth into this individual. But of my restraint, my discipline in not thrusting myself on her in such a vulnerable state.
“Well…as you can imagine. No good deed goes unpunished. About a week later, I was called into the Dean’s office. Jamie accused me of rape and sexual battery. Obviously, she had the bruises to prove it and there were neighbors who testified to seeing me with her the night in question. I was evicted. Expelled. Spent two years in prison and now I have to register as a sex offender wherever I go. No one will hire me. I’m fucking terrified to even look at a girl. Essentially, my life is ruined.
“I never got the chance to face my accuser. She didn’t have to show up for trial. I never saw Jamie again after that night. I couldn’t ask the questions that would eventually go on to torment me for years. Like, why? Why’d she do it? Was she ashamed? Did she think I’d go out and tell everyone she was a prostitute? It really got to the point where I thought about killing myself. Out here. Out on these mountains. All it would take is one jerk of the wheel to end it all. Death would have been sweet. That’s honestly how I felt.
“But that’s when Jake found me. I honestly do think he was sent from God because that very morning, I had made up my mind to fucking end it. I was leaving the pharmacy with oxys when I saw Jake on his Harley. He was parked next to me looking all badass and what not. I thought he was talking on his phone when he said, ‘God has a plan for you.’
“I stood there in place, frozen, stiff as a board. He said, ‘consider the words of Joseph. In Genesis chapter fifty, do you remember?’
“Joseph, poor Joseph, his brothers had sold him into slavery. His master’s wife falsely accused him of taking advantage of her. Then he spent years in jail because of it. But throughout it all, he never lost faith in God. God granted him the power to interpret dreams, helping him gain favor with Pharaoh, prompting his ascension to become the second most powerful man in Egypt. Thanks to Joseph, Egypt had prepared for a famine, which saved the lives of thousands. Hundreds of thousands!’
“But one mustn’t forget the hardships he endured. One mustn’t forget the trials and tribulations he faced. And what did he say? In Chapter Fifty when his brothers feared his wrath, when his brothers feared that one day Joseph would exact the vengeance they felt he was so justified to take? He said: ‘As for you, you meant evil against me. But God meant it for good. To bring it about that many people be kept alive as they are today.’
“Everyone has their trials and tribulations, my friend. Remember Jesus Christ, who was persecuted and died for our sins. Know that the world accepts what is there’s, but as for you, because you are no part of the world, but one claimed by Christ, they will persecute you. Have strength. Be strong and ever faithful in the word of God.’ That’s what Jake told me back in the parking lot of a pharmacy.”
…
Trent recounted his experience with tearful repose. We all gave him a standing ovation, an ovation worthy of his ordeal, his pain and recovery. After concluding the meeting, I saw everyone out, locked up the church, got on my Harley and drove north along the majestic Front Range mountains of Colorado Springs.
Trent was but one of hundreds in our support group. It was just for men. It had to be. In my day, men were taught to be strong, tough, and durable, but we still had emotions. When our fathers and father’s fathers told us we couldn’t cry, that we couldn’t appear weak, we knew. We understood what it meant. They were trying to make leaders out of us. Preparing us to protect and provide for our families. If the leader is weak, incapable, too yielding, it trickles down.
By December of 2006, I was looking for something new. Something that matched my rebellious attitude, my angst towards college, my resentment for the superficial, something to keep me going.
*disclaimer: If you hadn’t read the intro, the following is a personal memoir about my 13-year journey of exploring Korean and Japanese music
I remember…I was working on a project for my DVD Studio Pro class when I came across the “Obscure” music video. I used it for my assignment. The first time I heard about Dir En Grey was actually when I got into MySpace in the summer of 2005. One of my first long-distance friends was this girl out of Utah. On her page was an image of Toshiya, the bassist. Apparently, she had a crush on him. A lot of women were crazy about him.
The images of Dir En Grey looking like zombies, really didn’t entice me to go and listen to their music. At the time, I was very much into Miyavi’s sound, which was edgy, but had a more upbeat positive vibe. Fast-forward to the fall of 2006, when the nostalgia of being in college and out from under my parent’s roof wore off and I was now staring the “real world” directly in its corrupt and wicked face…I was ready for mother-effin Dir En Grey.
When I was 20-years-old, I made a vow before God to remain a virgin until I get married. For the longest time, I used to think this was the dumbest decision of my life. It wasn’t until recently that I discovered that it was in fact the best decision of my life.
For those who don’t know, a hookup cultureis one that accepts and encourages casual sex encounters, including one-night stands and other related activity, without necessarily including emotional bonding or long-term commitment. It is generally associated with Western late adolescent behavior and, in particular, American college culture. However, when it comes to Millennials, this behavior has carried well into our thirties, mostly thanks to apps like Tinder.
The purpose of this piece isn’t to belittle the world. It’s to encourage my brothers and sisters who haven’t given into the world. I’m talking about the ones who endeavor to do what’s good in God’s eyes, to put him first, while sometimes feeling like…what’s the point?
Right now, I’m seeing a lot going on in the news when it comes to the abortion argument, the right to choose, a woman’s body, and where does life begin. I’m hearing these arguments and it feels like…it feels like I’m an alien who’s only visiting the planet earth. This isn’t my home. I’m seeing calls for a sex strike, pro-choice feminists pushing for women to forego sex to champion their cause.
The thing is…once upon a time, I used to be like them. Once upon a time I called myself a feminist. I called myself a Democrat. I used to admire Obama. I was so happy to at last have a black president. I believed in the LGBTQ cause and the greater push for equality and inclusion. I believed in acceptance and tolerance.
In a perfect world, there wouldn’t need to be a push for equality and inclusion. But alas, this world is not perfect. That is the reality. The reality is, the United States is a conglomerate of different cultures. The reality is, a lot of those cultures clash, they conflict. What’s acceptable to you and your ilk, might not be acceptable to another’s.
To say that they’re wrong and you’re right…I’ve heard these arguments before. I asked long ago… “Is there no right or wrong, only popular opinion?”
And many said there is a right and a wrong.
When I asked, “Based on what?” (says who?)
Many said it’s based on the Bible. Others said, it’s based on the community. If the community says it’s okay to fornicate and indulge in immorality, while the Bible shows that God views such actions in a bad light…what do you do if you’re a God-fearing Christian? What do you do if you’re a God-fearing Christian with a homosexual inclination? In my case, specifically…what do you do if you want to get married, but you’ve made a vow before God to wait until marriage, while living in a culture where sex seems to be a pre-requisite to marriage?
As I rise from the precipice overlooking the city, I can’t help but think, “Why did I ever make that stupid vow in the first place?”
I remember…
In 2006, I was 20-years-old. I wasn’t a super religious. In fact, I hated it. I harbored so much resentment to religious organizations due to the guilt trips they used on people. They’d tell me, “if you’re not part of our religion, then you’re part of the world.” This false-delimma fallacy was the epitome of my hate and rage. But still…I don’t think I ever blamed God for that. Just the people. It’s strange, but in my heart of hearts…ever since I was a kid, I always believed that Jehovah God was a God of logic and reason.
Either way, I never completely turned my back on God. I just needed time to find my way. I needed time to forgive and forget the past. But during that time…in 2006, I ended up missing the Memorial of Jesus Christ’s death. That’s one tradition, one practice I truly believe in.
Jesus Christ died for our sins that we may be forgiven and have the hope of everlasting life. At any point, he could have gone the route of Satan. He could have seen all the sexy ladies and indulged. He could have gotten a taste of power and took control. He was beaten, spat on, and crucified by worthless humans that aren’t but a breath from God’s nose, while Jesus Christ was there since the beginning, who aided in creating the heaven and earth.
How could I recognize that Jesus Christ did all that for us…and not honor him by attending a memorial service? In 2006, I missed that service. And on that night…I closed my eyes and prayed for forgiveness.
Looking back, I’m sure I had no idea what I was doing. But the words came straight from my heart. It’s how I felt. And in that moment, I swear I felt God’s presence. There was nothing special about me. I’m not Jewish, not from God’s chosen people. I was just a black film student in the midst of my sophomore year, but I felt God’s presence. And I said:
“Jehovah, please forgive me. I swear on this day, that if you forgive me, I promise that I’ll wait until I get married to have sex. I’ll keep my virginity until then…”
In that moment, I felt I was forgiven. I believed it in my heart, right then and there. Thus, the vow was official. I was uplifted, and relieved, and glad.
But still, Rock…why make a vow of chastity in the first place? You could have made a vow to do anything. Why that?
It’s a valid question. Which takes me back to one my opening paragraphs about the ladies going on a so-called sex strike. You see…the thing was, back in 2006, I weighed 378 pounds. I always wore this oversize blue vest to cover up my man-boobs. I saw how detestable I was to my classmates…I believed I was a monster. I believed I was the ugliest man on earth and no woman in her right mind would ever want to be with me or ever see me as desirable.
So in short…in 2006, making that vow of chastity was something I thought would be the easiest thing in the world to keep. Hence…it’s easy to go on a sex strike if you believe in your heart that nobody wants you in the first place. Of course, I could be wrong about the feminist on that account, but speaking on behalf of myself, that was my reason. I believed I was forgiven by God, and I thought that vow would cost me very little.
Hahaha! Was I ever wrong. Because flash-forward 5 years later…whelp. Solid steel and sex appeal, my boss calls it. After years of busting my ass in the gym, cutting down on food portions, discipline and commitment to bettering myself with this intense drive that I carry to this day, I ended up losing 178lbs for my 6’3 frame.
The vow I made when I was 20-years-old, suddenly became very difficult.
I know…the title of this chapter is enough to spark some disgruntled looks. If you’ve heard of Big Bang before reading this memoir, it might sound confusing. But as someone who’s been into k-pop since nine months before they’re first release, I can tell you that they’re debut was anything but an actual Big Bang.
Let’s start from the beginning.
By the fall of 2006, I had just turned 20-years-old and DBSK was still my favorite kpop group. H.O.T. would be the greatest in my book until about the year 2014. But H.O.T. disbanded back in 2001. Se7en latest album was awesome, but it was DBSK that actually got me into kpop with their hits “Rising Sun” and “Triangle”. In September of 2006, they released their third album, “O” and their music video was phenomenal.
I was glad to see they hadn’t lost their touch, having spent so much time trying to make a name for themselves in Japan. The choreography was on point and the song was fire. While I was super psyched to hear from them after some time…there was one problem that I couldn’t overlook…aside from their use of the World Trade Center collapsing as b-roll…The title song, “O” was the only song that I liked on the album. The rest, was garbage. Especially their follow up hit, “Balloons,” which if you saw, you’d see was very bubble-gum poppy with the video super focused on the visuals.
Back in film school, we had a word for albums like this. “Duds”. An album everyone thinks is going to be the bomb, but makes no explosion. That’s not to say it didn’t do well in Korea. It was the highest selling album in 2006. But part of that started to breed resentment in me. That they’re fans would just accept anything. Or maybe I’d gotten spoiled from uncovering albums from artists that had already been released, one after the other. While, with DBSK, I now had to friggin wait for God knows how long for their next album to come out.
And when it comes to the fans…dude. I’ve been referring to these boybands as groups…because that’s what they are to me. However, in Korea, they’re called idol groups. And it’s not hard to see why. DBSK had the largest fanbase of all the groups, probably the whole world. I think at one point, it numbered around 500,000. They were called Cassiopeia. That’s the name of their fan group.
I was a fan, but I never would call myself a Cassiopeia. Why would I?
After listening to just “O”…a single song on an album of eleven tracks, I was left with more to be desired.
It was around this time that was also listening to Se7en of YG Entertainment. And as you’ve learn from the end of the last chapter, I stumbled across a video of a pair of YG Trainees dancing. It was G-Dragon and YongBae.
After that…I saw on the Youtube sidebar a pre-debut song G-Dragon put out. It’s a remix of Maroon 5’s “This Love”. And dude…I’m telling you. Back then, I didn’t know how far he’d go. Only that he was by far the most talented artist of our generation. I recognized all of this from just one listen to this song. He was only 18-years-old at the time and he wrote all of his own lyrics.
“This Love” by G-Dragon was amazing. It’s one of those timeless songs that never gets old no matter how many times you hear it, no matter what year it is, no matter what the trends are. The song, the style, the vocals, everything works.
Coincidentally, it was just like when I discovered DBSK. I saw the video of Yunho before learning he was the leader of DBSK. I saw videos of G-Dragon and learned he was the leader of YG’s up and coming 2nd generation group following in the steps of 1TYM. That group went by the name of Big Bang.
The first video I saw of all five members was “LaLaLa.” I’ll let you listen first before hitting on some key points.
*disclaimer: If you hadn’t read the intro, the following is a personal memoir about my 13-year journey of exploring Korean and Japanese music
After Seo Taiji and Boys disbanded, Yang Hyun-Suk founded YG Entertainment, forging his way into the industry with an emphasis on hip hop. You gotta imagine. At this time, circa 1997, the top group in South Korea was H.O.T of SM Entertainment. Everything SM Entertainment touched was golden and they made millions.
SM Entertainment also started the trend of the SM Family. This is where the top acts from the same label pretty much gets together to collaborate on albums. Take this classic. Here you have “Jingle Bells” where you see in order, H.O.T., the girl group, SES, followed by top acts, Shinhwa and Fly to the Sky.
Let’s put it this way. In the U.S., at one point we had the Backstreet Boys, Nsync, and Britney Spears all under Jive Records. Imagine if instead of an obvious competition, they collaborated on albums and banded together to compete against other labels. But in South Korea, SM Entertainment was the juggernaut who took on all comers.
So here, you have YG with his new freshly minted YG Entertainment. South Korea wasn’t exactly big on hip hop at the time. I’m talking about real East Coast, West Coast hip hop. Not Fresh Prince, hip hop. The kind of hip hop H.O.T. and Seo Taiji touted was a friendly, energetic rap. YG brought that street, hood, gangster element to the game with acts like Jinusean and 1TYM.
1TYM
And from what I read…YG got a lot of flack for that, for “acting black.” They didn’t break into mainstream success immediately during their first inaugural years for a couple of reason. The first was the popular saying, that YG values talent over looks. This was a jab at other labels promoting pretty boys and girls with garden-variety talent. The second was the content of their songs.
Remember how I stated in my chapter about H.O.T, how Korea’s relatively strict about songs broadcasted on the music stations. If a board deems a song unfit or unworthy, they couldn’t broadcast it. Rules like:
“Songs that “stimulates sex desire or [are] sexually explicit to youth”, “urges violence or crime to youth”, or “glamorizes violence such as rape, and drugs.”
And as you can imagine, if the U.S. had such rules, we probably would’ve never heard of names like Biggie, Tupac, Metallica, Slipknot, Eminem etc.
But eventually…just like how hip hop won over the rebellious youth in the states who don’t exactly relate to the preppy pop acts of the Backstreet Boys or Britney Spears, YG won over the youth of South Korea. Make sense. I mean…I’m sure you don’t think most boys and girls look like the artists in that Jingle Bells music video.
Also, just like SM Entertainment, YG had a system where they’d bring in talented youths and train them for a number of years before debuting. One of YG’s first solo acts was a nineteen-year-old dancer with one of the smoothest voices you’ve ever heard. In 2003, he debuted with “Come Back to Me” and “Baby I like you like That.”
If you’ve read my memoir thus far, you’d know that I was already aware of Se7en before the summer of 2006. The first time I saw Se7en was his music video of “Hikari.” I sent it to a girl I had a crush on back in 2005. Mind you, because the song was in Japanese, I thought Se7en was Japanese. But nope, this dude comes straight out of Seoul.
One of the first songs I downloaded in a batch of kpop songs back in December of 2005 was a remix of Se7en’s song, “Passion” ft. Jinusean. At the time, I don’t think I was ready for Se7en’s sound, to fully comprehend and appreciate his talents. Se7en was called the Korean Justin Timberlake and aptly so. But the main reason why I started listening to foreign music in 2005 to begin with, was because I was tired the American sound.
However, after a summer of jamming to Seo Taiji, H.O.T, and DBSK, I think I was ready for Se7en’s sound. And since he was promoted by YG, I had a vested interest to see what else he was capable of. It was just in time. Because in the spring of 2006, Se7en released one of the most impressive albums where nearly every song was golden.
The ladies absolutely loved Se7en. And why wouldn’t they? Se7en was that cool kid who wasn’t afraid to smile or sing on the spot, or be goofy and dance even though he’s surrounded by scary sunbaes (senior artists) who are all mean-mugging looking like they’re about to rob you of your lunch money. While 1TYM and Jinusean were known for their edgy hood vibe, Se7en brought a happy-go-lucky side to the YG Family.
The dude was a master performer, an artist who could really command the entire stage.
More importantly, he came up at a time where solo artists gave him some stiff competition. While Se7en was the Justin Timberlake of South Korea, Rain or (Bi) was the Usher.
Representing JYP Entertainment, Rain was Se7en’s main rival. And even though they collaborated in live musical performances, if you took a poll, I’m pretty such Rain would come out on top as the most dominant musical act from 2002-2004. Here’s the two performing together with Lee Hyori in a tribute to Seo Taiji.
*disclaimer: If you hadn’t read the intro, the following is a personal memoir about my 13 years of exploring Korean and Japanese music
The first song I heard of Seo Taiji was toward the end of 2005. It was a live performance of “Hefty End” followed by “Roboto.” At first listen…I honestly wasn’t that impressed. Mind you, I had already heard the music of Miyavi and Gackt. It sounded like a version of them so I wasn’t interested.
However, by the summer of 2006, after jamming out to the hits of H.O.T. and indulging on Moon Hee Jun’s version of nu-metal…I was ready for Seo Taiji.
Seo Taiji really deserves his own Hollywood biopic, similar to N.W.A’s “Straight Outta Compton.” He was one of the main forces that modernized pop music in Korean culture. Before him, they had some pop acts where the singer came out on stage in Christmas sweaters, looking all prim and proper. But Seo Taiji was the first to get out there and show Korea that they could produce high-energy music and perform it just as well, if not better than the Americans.
The South Korea of today is completely different from the way it was in the 1980s. From my understanding, it wasn’t until the 1988 Olympics in Seoul that brought a lot of money in and helped really develop it from a second or third world nation into a first-world country. Four years later, here comes this trio of skinny lads, two main dancers who could sing and rap…led by a scrawny kid in glasses who could rap, sing, dance and play the hell out of a guitar. He went by the name of Seo Taiji.
In 1992, Seo Taiji and Boys dropped this dope hit:
Seo Taiji and Boy’s “Nan Arroyo” exploded on the music scene and changed the dynamics of Korean pop culture. And the thing is, I had heard this song before. When I was learning about Se7en, I found a clip of him, Rain, and Hyori performing a tribute to it. Of course, at the time, I had no idea how influential Seo Taiji was or why that song was so significant.
Everything changed in the country after this. Seo Taiji became a household name and from what I read, his appeal was widespread, reaching fans of all demographics, male, female, teens, kids and adults. Thus, people called him the Michael Jackson of S. Korea. Fans swarmed venues and any place where the group made an appearance.
I even remember reading about a U.S. soldier who was stationed in S. Korea in 1994. He described how famous Seo Taiji was and how even he fell in love with Seo Taiji’s music. He said the first song he heard was “Certain Victory,” which cemented his fandom. That’s what did it for me as well. In truth, their first hit of “Nan Arroyo” didn’t really do anything for me. Too retro, influenced by the new jack swing. But the attitude and sound of “Certain Victory” was really got me to listen to his music.
The first time I had heard of H.O.T. was when I began looking for websites about Korean groups and other bands like DBSK. Almost every website I came across put two names up on the highest echelon in the Korean music industry.
One was a man named Seo Taiji. The website touted that his popularity in Korea was on par to Michael Jackson’s phenomenon in U.S. when “Thriller” hit the scene. The other name was H.O.T., which stood for “High-Five of Teenagers.” Now, if you think the name was lame, the picture I saw of them in anime hair and metallic costumes gave the same impression. My initial thought was that H.O.T was just as manufactured as Super Junior appeared to be. So, I passed on both of them.
*disclaimer: If you hadn’t read the intro, the following is a personal memoir about my 13 years of exploring Korean and Japanese music.
As I continued to get deeper and deeper into Korean music and their culture. One of the first things I learned was how strict they were about broadcasting songs they deemed unsuited for public consumption. If a song was too materialistic, or promoted an unhealthy lifestyle, it wouldn’t be allowed to broadcast on the major stations.
Deep down, I think I respected that, considering how much I blame the entertainment industry for how immoral and backwards my own generation had become here in the states. However, as I’d eventually grow as an artist, I confess, I do think there is some corruption when it comes to such practice. Meaning, if you wanted, you could very well sway the deciding members on what should be deemed suitable or unsuitable. But I suppose that’s for another essay.
I also loved how in South Korea, they have dance shows and variety programs where the top celebrities come together and just straight up dance it out or to promote their current singles. At the time, some of the most popular shows were “X-Man,” “Love Letter,” and “Golden Star Bell”. Some of the regulars were famous names like Lee Minwoo, Jang Woo Hyuk, Tony An, and of course Yunho and Micky representing DBSK. Here, you’ll see Yunho dancing with Jang Woo Hyuk in the middle.
Now then…allow me take a moment to introduce you to two names here. Jang Woo Hyuk and Tony An. It took me a while to pronounce Jang Woo Hyuk properly. I believe it’s supposed to sound like, John Woo Yuh. Forgive me if I botched that.
It was just by chance that I had downloaded some of their music the month before I saw them on these variety shows. And dude…their music was amazing. It added a bit of variety to my k-pop tastes. DBSK and Super Junior handled the boy-band sound. Se7en gave me a solo Justin Timberlake vibe with his hits like “Passion” and “Crazy”.
But Jang Woo Hyuk and Tony An were something different altogether.
Jang Woo Hyuk was an amazing dancer. He was featured in numerous compilation videos as one of Korea’s premier pop-and-lockers. And as a solo artist, he’s a Bonafide rapper whose voice, I really can’t compare to anyone else. I listened to his song, “Flip Reverse” so many times that I think it was the first Korean song in which I memorized all of the lyrics.
I rapped it for my older brother when he came to visit. I think he was impressed. Not to mention, it was really remarkable how much hip hop had an influence on other countries around the world. It’s like everyone took a piece of it and modified the art to fit their own styles. But still…their own style. I think there’s a difference between being influenced by a culture and straight up swagger jacking. Some Korean artists are guilty of this. But I don’t believe Jang Woo Hyuk’s one of them.
And when it came to Tony An…the first song I heard of his was “Yutzpracachia’s Love”. Odd sounding title, I know. But like I said. It gave my palate some much needed variety. Tony’s song had a more mature R&B vibe to it that wasn’t overpowering or aggressive. Some nights after working the closing shift as a delivery driver, Tony An’s songs were just what I needed to unwind and relax.
But more than that…Tony An could rap and compose his own songs. Like Jang Woo Hyuk, Tony’s voice was unique. Not what you’d expect to hear from a soloist. It’s hard to explain. One of my top five favorite Korean songs of all time, was performed by Tony An. In fact, I found that a lot of my favorite “timeless” songs have managed to blend classical music from Mozart, Brahm or Beethoven in with a modern sound.
Tony An – “Love is Beautiful When You Can’t Have it”
Now, the funny thing about Jang Woo Hyuk and Tony An is they have a lot more in common than their unique abilities as solo artists. Remember when I said that the mark of a legendary group is one in which all the members could excel on their own if they went solo? Well…turns out Jang Woo Hyuk and Tony An were once part of the same group. And that group was called H.O.T. Yep, the same H.O.T, I passed on early in this chapter.
More than that…But just like in the states where we have end of the year musical award shows like the Grammys or the VMAs, they have the same of their own brand in Korea. In this next video, you’ll see groups like CSJH, Super Junior and DBSK holding it down in which they sing a medley of songs. One of which, caught my attention the first time I heard it. For the life of me, I’ve been trying to find out the original artist who sings the song @2:16. It’s being performed by DBSK…But this performance, it’s a tribute to the original artist. The original artist was none other than H.O.T.
The ORIGINAL “IYAH!”
Straight up, that’s Jang Woo Hyuk rapping at 00:54 seconds in and Tony An at 1:08.
Now, ladies and gentlemen…I cannot begin to tell you how profound the effect H.O.T had on me. I was 19-years-old. DBSK was the group that got me hooked in to k-pop. But H.O.T. will always be the greatest.
Now there was once a certain senator who was known to frequent clubs and popular spots in Uptown Toronto. His name was Jared J. Chrysler, a despicable bully who had a penchant for strong-arming his proposals through city hall.
Sen. Chrysler was not a good man. Not a good man at all.
As it was, I knew Sen. Chrysler before I saw him. He was as corrupt as they come and thought himself untouchable. His dossier came replete with sexual assaults, everything from rape, torture, and murder. He was once caught on camera literally stripping the clothes off of a reporter in an elevator while he was high on coke.
Two years ago, his name dominated headlines after he declared in Parliament that women had no place in politics. He never apologized. Never chalked it up to a gaffe or a slip of the tongue. Instead, Chrysler had the gumption to stand by his words. And in spite of widespread protests, solidarity from the academia damn-near screaming for his resignation, this unsavory fellow managed to stay in office.
On top of all that, Chrysler had dealings with the Bratva. He aided in human trafficking and had the nerve to call for stricter immigration laws when one of his mistresses threatened to go public. Of course, this mistress hasn’t been seen for some time. Rumor has it she was pregnant with his child and as a result, her body was stuffed in a barrel down in the basement. Everyone knew he dabbled in narcotics and every so often, he’d had to get rid of his limos because no matter what they did they couldn’t get the stench of marijuana out of the seats.
That his execution didn’t come sooner, I think, emboldened his god-like complex. At the same time, it made him an easier target for those who weren’t bound by silly things like laws or ethics.
I think that’s why they chose me. “The first kill is always the hardest,” they say. But honestly, there was no fear. No trepidation. I wasn’t reluctant nor did I hesitate or have any second thoughts. I didn’t feel anything…other than the smooth friction of my knife sliding across his neck. I killed the man. But the ladies killed his legacy.
That’s the way we worked. A death shrouded in mystery would only inflate his infamy. We couldn’t have that. So his hotel room was staged to look like a break in. His business partner, just as corrupt as he, was our patsy. There were recordings of the partner hiring a hitman years ago. The coward called it off but we still had the tapes. Damning evidence, really.
You have to understand, I was never a full-fledged member of the Society. I wanted to be, more than anything. These ladies, these women. They’re extraordinary. Every single one of them has this overpowering presence by which you can’t help but wonder if they came fresh from leading entire legions on the battlefield. Perhaps by becoming one of them, I thought I could soak in but an ounce of their charisma, their strength.
I’m sorry. I suppose even now, I find it difficult to denigrate them. They trained me. They believed in me. But their price was too heavy. It was a price I couldn’t pay.
…
In New York City some years ago, I was but a budding flower, having just graduated from Elysium with a 4.0 grade average and an avid interest in finance. Having grown up in the halls of Papa’s corporate offices, I was exposed to the high stakes of million dollar hedge fund investments. Despite all that, I was groomed to be a classical composer. That’s the path my parents chose for me.
My mother and our nannies came from Surrey, hence the accent I inherited. I began playing the piano when I was about five or six, and to date, I’ve mastered all of Chopin’s compositions. However, Erik Satie was my idol. It’s all about the timing in his works and the one thing I appreciated the most was the risk he took by trying something new and, dare I say, awkward. “Gymnopedie” is my favorite. I must have rehearsed it a thousand times. Even in complete silence, I hear it in my head.
“Gymnopedie” :
To much is given, much is expected. That is, unless you have six big brothers and three older sisters, all more outgoing and impressive than yourself. It goes without saying, my own candle paled in comparison.
They dominated everything. Dinner conversations. Galas. Parties and pageants. At some point, I suppose I just got lost somewhere in the back and I didn’t mind. I had no talent for oratory and the moment all eyes were on me, I’d freeze up with the most terrifying heart palpitations.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved my family. My brothers were so cool. Strong and handsome. And my sisters…Well, I suppose it’s a bit ironic now that I think about it. Clarice, Emily, and Victoria. My heart weeps even as I say this, but every time I was in the same room with them, I was afraid. They picked on me for being so short and small. I had bad asthma and they’d mock me relentlessly for the wheezing, the “overdramatic” desperation I’d exhibit to find my inhaler.
Papa made them take me everywhere and I could tell how much they resented it. It’s a horrid feeling, to have so much in common with expensive luggage that’s been passed down through generations. It’s because of Papa that they included me but I understood why. He didn’t want me to feel alone. Papa was always looking out for me. He was perhaps the one ray of light that kept me warm in an otherwise cold and abysmal childhood.
It was because of Papa that I had the strength to smile. When I was little, I used to stare at him like he was a Greek painting. The hope that most people have towards Christ is how I felt about him. Papa came to every one of my recitals. When everyone clapped and congratulated me, words couldn’t quite express how elated my father was. He’d cry. Such emotion. I felt the love. I didn’t have to wonder with him. I simply knew how much he loved me by how open he was about showing his affections. It was to his arms that I’d run. It was within his coat that I found salvation.
Felix Domina Vandelay II. That was his name, a titan on Wall Street with investments around the world. We were decedents of King Wilhelm Vandelay of Godland who surrendered the throne to the Swedish Empire. Our family was paid handsomely for throne and has since, dominated the shipping industry back before the English stole New York from the Dutch.
My father revered history and I took after him. My siblings didn’t seem to care one way or the other, but I did. Money was something everyone had, more or less, but our heritage, our pedigree, to come from royal blood was something my father regarded with pride. He installed our family crest in the corporate emblem. I’ll never forget the smile on his face when he took me to see it. Just me. No one else wanted to come.
And that’s how it went. The Vandelay name became synonymous with both opulence and, surprisingly enough, generosity. A lot of what I know about capitalism and economy came from what my father taught me. He’d let me sit in on the big important meetings, trusting with good measure that I’d behave and simply observe. And I did. It was interesting, actually. I enjoyed listening to them talk, more than I did watching cartoons or coloring in books. The tension, the frayed nerves, the adrenaline of risking so much on a public stock or new business, as CEO, Papa was the mediator to temper all tempers.
One time, Papa introduced me to the president of an airline company. It was just a joke, but Papa said I was his only daughter. I know this sounds bad but I fantasized about being his only child. I imagined a world without brothers or sisters or even my mother. Just Papa and me. I would have been so happy. It would have been the perfect world. But as it was, my brothers and sisters existed. In particular, Clarice, the eldest sister, born six years before myself.
Clarice was in a lot of ways the ring leader of the many cliques that tormented me from boarding school to boarding school. She could blame it on her youth, sure. But I never understood it. I heard stories about bullies being jealous of their targets or wanting something their victims had. But Clarice was taller, popular, drop-dead gorgeous and intelligent enough to know when to acquiesce. She never physically abused me. Just stole or broke everything that belonged exclusively to me. She called my recitals boring and sometimes, I could hear her laughing from the balconies as I played.
When the Society approached me, it was during a very dark chapter in my life. And yes, I blamed Clarice for it. My music teacher of eight years had just lost his wife to leukemia. I was his favorite pupil. I wanted to be there for him, to commiserate with him, to let him know that he wasn’t alone. But my family had a tradition of taking the yacht across the Mediterranean every Easter. I begged my mother to let me stay behind and support him but Clarice…She put it in my mother’s head that my teacher fancied me beyond what was appropriate.
We had just ported in Barcelona when I learned that my teacher committed suicide by plummeting from his twenty-fifth floor apartment. I was fifteen-years-old.
I was racked with grief. Even my father couldn’t console me. And he tried desperately. I wasn’t eating. I refused to attend school. And one afternoon, I returned home to find my bedroom nearly stacked to ceiling with rows of my favorite flowers, the white hydrangeas. It was classic of my father to go to such lengths. It was out of respect for him that I begrudgingly return to school.
By then, there was something different about me. Everyone could see it and finally, they all left me alone. I no longer smiled. I lost the ability to laugh or giggle. I stopped coming to Papa’s offices, and every time I entered a room where I knew Clarice was present, I’d keep my gaze to the floor.
I really hated that bitch. When I cried alone, it wasn’t because I was sad. It was the growing pain of holding back the rage in my heart. Every time I’d hear her laugh, or cheer, or so much as clear her wretched throat, I’d be so stricken by this incredible urge to stab her with the sharpest thing I could find. It was really bad and I knew something was wrong with me. But who could I tell? Who would possibly understand?
Three weeks after my maestro’s passing, I found myself sitting alone in an herbal teashop down in the Village. It rained that evening with a constant patter that calmed the disquieting notions. I’d hone in an out of the constellation of raindrops on the window. Red and yellow lights blurred in straight lines that zipped up and down the wet street.
Two older men approached and offered to buy me a drink. They appeared college students, and I knew they meant well, but I dismissed both.
Then, she sat down. A velvety black coat that still held beads from the rain. Long dark hair. Dazzling blue eyes with the elegance of a former ballerina, or a debutant like myself. Without saying anything, she just smiled and I was spellbound. She extended a napkin to wipe my tears. I still remember my mascara bleeding into the soft white cloth.
“May I help you?” I asked.
She sighed and looked around once more before settling on me.
“Your guilt is unwarranted. You are trapped, my dear. Like a bird, a caged canary. I am here to set you free.”
It was unreal. Everything I needed to hear came from those few words. She followed up with nothing else, but abruptly scooted her chair out and grazed past my shoulder and made her way to the exit. I exhaled, not realizing I had been holding my breath.
“Are you coming?”
I turned around. She was waiting for me, her and three others, all wearing the same dark velvety coat but with different styles of shoes and earrings. There was a motorcade of two black luxury SUVs parked on the curb behind them.
I didn’t get up at once. It was absurd and I think she saw it in my gaze.
“I can only unlock the cage. It’s up to you to spread your wings and fly.” She said.
“Who are you?” I asked in a shaky whisper.
“I’m Breanne. That’s Scarlett. She’s Mandee. And we call this one the Andalusian.”
Breanne, Scarlett, Mandee, and the Andalusian. These were the first Swords of St. Catherine I had the pleasure to meet. And if all of Swords were as impressive as they, with all due respect, there isn’t a force on earth powerful enough to match wits.
Officially, I ran away from New York City that night. Sadly, no one noticed. Not even Papa.
By early November of 2005…the novelty of Japanese rock music was wearing off. I still enjoyed it. But the waves that once washed over me…it’s like I had gotten used to the temperature and now found the waters lukewarm.
*disclaimer: If you hadn’t read the intro, the following is a personal memoir about my 13 years of exploring Korean and Japanese music.
In South Korea, you can tell the singers and groups pride themselves on their ability to dance. The following was one of the first videos I downloaded in which, the most popular singers of the day got together for a Christmas special to dance it out. You’ll find Se7en at 1:17 in. Followed by Rain…and then Minwoo of Shinhwa, then the guy who I’d come to call the best.
A popular style of dance at the time was an innovative form of pop-and-locking as well as the wave. Se7en was an awesome freestyle dancer. I learned that his main competition was another solo artist named Bi or Rain, who everyone was calling the Korean Usher. But the man who I definitely considered the best by a landslide when it comes to dancing…is U-Know.
It was the middle of December of 2005 when I saw this exact video:
lol, now aside from the “Ah’s” and “Oh’s” you may have noticed a dancer doing some amazing things. The waves are so simple yet complex at the same time. In order to do them well, you have to have good body control. Something, I felt I was capable of. His name is U-Know, or Yunho…And mind you…even though I was watching it in December of 2005, that video was from 2004. Surely there had to be more.
I’d come to find out Yunho was the leader of a Korean Boyband called DBSK and dude…Discovering DBSK was an early Christmas present to myself. When I say K-pop got me through college. I mean it.
That December, I was hoping to go home and spend Christmas with family. But from delivering pizzas, I caught a flat tire and couldn’t afford to come home. For two weeks, I was alone for the first time for the first time in my life. I’ve felt loneliness in the sense of being surrounded but not connecting with anyone. But the legit physical loneliness, I wasn’t quite used to at the time. Growing up, I always had brothers or some company present. Being alone for Christmas my first year away from home was abysmal. The only glimmer of happiness that got me through the holidays was DBSK. Like uncovering a buried treasure map, sparking a sense of adventure to see where it leads.
To understand how culturally significant DBSK was, I have to tell you a little bit about their history. All of which, I learned gradually throughout 2006. To put it in perspective, its sort of like how Jive Records was the label for the Backstreet Boys. Then came Nsync and Britney Spears. They were all under the same label at one point and dominated the American pop scene I’d say from 1998-2002ish.
In South Korea, the most prominent music agency is called SM Entertainment. In the thirteen years I’ve been listening to Kpop, SM may have had some close competition with other labels in which there was the big three, such JYP, YG, and it used to be DSP Media (home to Sechskies and SS501). But SM Entertainment has always remained at the top.
Very similar to how the Backstreet Boys were put together, with a benefactor picking out five talented youths and molding them to be superstars, South Korea’s entertainment agencies work the same way…except ten times tougher, with more rules, discipline, and longer years of training. That’s how they start out, as trainees to the agency and it takes years before they debut. Sometimes, they don’t.
DBSK also known as TVXQ or Dong Bang Shin Ki, consisted of Jaejoong, Micky Yoochun, Xiah Junsu, Max Changmin, and Yunho. All of them were hand-picked and groomed by SM Entertainment to sing, dance, take the lead and dominate. Just like their predecessors, which I’ll get into later.
But whatever, right? Bunch of talk, right? So what if ya boy Yunho can dance. I thought this was about music? How good is DBSK?
The first music video I saw of DBSK as a group was “Rising Sun.” And dude…I’m telling this group was the complete package.
artwork by 
Stage In The Sky 