Easy, this is just food for thought. But it relates to relationship follies and even the characters, stories, and scripts that are written by female writers…that quite frankly, either don’t make sense or it’s not realistic.
Plainly put, the definition of Empathy is the Ability to “understand and share the feelings of another”. It’s your awareness of what the other person is feeling and why they have those feelings.
At the age of 38-years-old…I don’t think a lot of people have this ability. Not just women, but people in general. But as per the point of this essay, I think it’s an inaccurate stereotype to associate this ability with Women.
In my opinion…I’ve found that a lot of women from my generation seem to struggle to understand why or how another person is feeling what they’re feeling, unless (and only if) they’ve personally experienced that situation for themselves.
Like, even if you go to great lengths to explain the situation and accurately tell them exactly why you’re feeling what you feel, they still won’t understand.
They’ll nod and show “sympathy” because they care about you…but they have no clue, which deep down, makes them feel frustrated and stupid…which is why some women reportedly “lose respect” for men who open up and are vulnerable.
It isn’t necessarily because that man didn’t maintain a “masculine frame”. It’s because she feels inadequate, hopeless, and useless. She can’t comprehend his feelings, thus, she doesn’t know how to help him. She isn’t “equipped to handle a man’s feelings” as they say in the Red Pill spaces.
It’s very similar to any friend, man or woman, when you explain why you’re upset about a situation. If that friend doesn’t have empathy or understand where you’re coming from…to make up for their own stupidity (by definition, that’s what it is), they’ll dismiss your feelings and counter with something like “it’s all in your head” or “you might be overthinking it.”…to make up for their own lack of thought.
For instance, a lot of Women don’t understand why Men fear false accusations. They think this is no big deal because if it isn’t true, then men don’t have anything to worry about. See the video below to see how absurd that notion is.
When I was growing up, we as boys were always hearing how girls “mature faster,” they’re more intelligent, they’re better at getting along with others, and that Girls are more emotional. They’re more sensitive. And because they’re more emotional and sensitive, they’re also more empathetic and compassionate.
I think that’s a false conclusion to leap to. I think Girls might be more “Sympathetic,” sure. As we all know, Sympathy is merely the sense of feeling sorry for someone else.
But to understand the “why” someone is feeling the way they’re feeling, that’s empathy. “Emotional Intelligence” is a popular buzzword people like to throw around, but I’d argue the biggest component of that is Empathy.
If you don’t have empathy, then recognizing another’s emotions like anger or sadness…is about as useful as saying the sky is cloudy without the ability to discern whether or not it’s going to rain.
To be clear, I’m not saying ALL or even MOST Women don’t have this ability. I work at a law firm where, for a lot of these amazing female attorneys, it’s their job to understand their client’s situation and why they did what they did. That’s how they’re able to decide on which course to take in building their case.
But even there, I can hear the fellas in the back screaming, “SEE! They only do it when it SERVES them! If those clients weren’t paying, they wouldn’t give a ish…”
lol, maybe. The point is, anyone CAN have this ability if they put in effort and try. Essentially…all it takes is “putting yourself” in their shoes. How do you do that? With this little gift called “Imagination.”
Ever since I was a kid, and well into adulthood…my imagination has been strong. When you tell me a story, I don’t just hear it, I see it (which explains my comical facial expressions). When I hear songs that remind me of my childhood, I’m instantly transported back to that time when I first heard it.
A lot of my peers hate when I say that because they’ll respond with, “Yeah, but everyone has imagination. Everyone daydreams.”
Sure. I’m not saying they don’t. But I grew up with asthma. So even though “everyone breathes in air” through their lungs, your ability to breath was probably stronger than me.
Likewise, even though everyone’s capable of using their imagination, and many do indulge in their habit of daydreaming…in my opinion, if I were to fully detail and describe my imagination and propensity to daydream, to see things at any time, in any situation, almost involuntarily…you might think I’m crazy or belong on the spectrum.
When I was 33, during a visit to my parent’s home, she thought I had someone else in the bathroom with me while showering because I was speaking a full-blown conversation between two different characters of a book I was working on.
When I was around 14-years-old, my brothers and I were riding in an uncle through a dangerous neighborhood in N. Carolina and my uncle started telling us a story of when someone threw a rock at his vehicle.
In the story, my uncle said he was riding with my beloved cousins (lil sisters) Autumn and Allyssa who must have been four and three at the time. My uncle, who was a soldier, described the anger and rage he felt if those girls had been hurt.
Sitting in the backseat, I said, “I know how you feel.”
My older brother rebuked me and said, “You don’t know how he feels! You’re not their father. You can’t possibly understand how he feels.”
My older brother was wrong. Like every other normie, there’s no way he could possibly comprehend how this 14-year-old fat kid could put himself in a grown man’s shoes and understand the boiling rage of seeing his daughter hurt by some asshole throwing a rock through the window.
But I did understand. It wasn’t difficult. I didn’t go out of my way to “try” to understand my uncle. As he was telling us the story, I simply saw what he saw and felt the love he felt for my cousins. If you don’t believe me, that’s on you.
I don’t blame you for not believing me, because I understand how it feels to not possess the gifts of another who logically shouldn’t be so far advanced given their age or experience. That is my gift.
So, what’s the point of all this? Why am I writing this and pointing it out?
Well…perhaps I want the world to work on getting better at this.
When it comes to relationships, the failures of dating culture and the way people treat each other…instead of being so concerned with your own feelings, it would behoove you to exercise empathy and consideration for someone else’s.
Perhaps then, there’d be less ghosting, less communication issues, and less people being taken advantage of. Matthew 7:12 cites the golden rule of, “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.”
“Wait wait wait, Rock. In the title of this post, you’re clearly calling out women here! You act like men are more empathetic than women!”
So…on that note, I am of the opinion that Men are more honest than women. This is why male comedians are arguably, funnier. Because the best comedy comes from pain, which means being honest about it instead of lying to “save face”.
Why is that important? Because, how can you be empathetic if you deny the truth?
And when I say “deny the truth”…I’m not necessarily calling women liars, but I have found that even when they speak honestly about a situation, they withhold details. They hold back certain “truths”.
They’re modern egos and masculine feminist attitudes has them convinced that they simply cannot look weak. They must present themselves in the best light to the point of delusion or straight up deception.
That’s why a lot of modern female lead characters in Hollywood movies are insufferable, unrelatable, and unrealistic. As I wrote in my last essay, Hollywood simply refuses to make their women like “women” because they must maintain the illusion that Women are better than men.
And because they’re not honest, the story comes off as fake and it makes the viewer annoyingly aware of the fact that they’re watching a movie…whereas once upon a time, viewers could escape and lose themselves in the story.
And when it comes to relationships between men and women…I’ve written in numerous essays that it’s not good for a man to be with a woman who’s more reserved in her emotions and feelings than he is.
At the end of the day, we are still men. We want to be the superheroes, the knights in shining armors, the strong protectors and providers for our women.
If our women withhold the truth, the details, their feelings and act like they’re all good, strong and nothing in the relationship is bothering them…and it’s only the man who’s being open and honest about how he feels…eventually he’s going to close up and make himself emotionally unavailable.
Because, between the masculine egos of both men and women, only one gender truly has the duty to have that ego. The other should embrace the feminine ego, the kind focused on indulging in the desire for love, connection, and romance.
Because that’s not so much the case, many in the industry are starting to conclude that Men are more Romantic than women.
And as per the title, I believe this is due to the fact that Men are more empathetic than Women. Men will courageously put themselves in another person’s shoes, male or female, and allow themselves to sense and feel what that other person is feeling, whether it’s hurt, jealously, love, triumph, anticipation, or even joy.
Women do this too…but like I said, it does seem that they’re only willing to let themselves “go there” if they’ve experienced it for themselves.
For instance, if a woman has been ghosted or cheated on…she can fill up volumes describing that pain, betrayal, and provide an accurate and honest reaction.
However…if she doesn’t know how it feels to live in a society where men are expected to do the approaching, to ask her out on a date, to make the first move, and damn near prove himself to her while expecting nothing in return, not even a thank you…
Well, that’s why you have scores of women on Tiktok asking why Men aren’t approaching anymore, or why aren’t men going to Singles Mixers, or why aren’t men as interested in marriage anymore.
Even if you’re argument is, “Women are indeed more empathetic, they simply don’t have the strength and courage to act or show their vulnerability because they’re afraid of getting hurt again.”
…wouldn’t empathy then prompt her to demonstrate greater admiration, respect, and appreciation for a man who is strong and brave enough to put himself out there despite having the same fear? Food for thought. I could be wrong about all of this, of course.
Stage In The Sky 