I know…a lot of us Christian Men who are looking for wives aren’t having a lot of success being the “Good Men” we were raised to. So, so it’s easy to hear advice from Fresh and Fit or the Whatever Podcast and tell yourself, “Oh…that’s the kind of guy I need to be. Not this chivalrous gentleman opening doors and buying her flowers. I need to make her work for all that!”
Long story short…be yourselves, fellas. If you change/pretend to be someone you’re not just to get the girl, eventually the facade will fade, and she’ll see you for who you are. More importantly, as men, it’s our duty to lead.
- Beware the “One Size Fits All” Advice – @2:01
- Removing God Has Messed up My Generation – @4:04
- The Sexual Revolution Messed up My Generation – @4:56
- How Were You Raised – @5:25
- A Guy Giving Affection is Not a Big Deal – @6:21
- Stupid Toxic Advice – @7:30
- Why a Woman’s Self-Respect Matters – @7:37
- Living by Christ’s Standards – @8:36
- Just Be Yourself – @10:03
- The Thing Women REALLY Have to Earn – @11:13
- Men Are Supposed to be Leaders – @12:00
- Good Judge of Character – @14:48
Very often, the kind of men a lot of modern women pine over are not the kind of Men that God calls us to be. It is on us to strive to do the right thing, regardless of reward or recognition. That is strength. That is discipline. That is integrity. That is a demonstration of true faith.
Also, you’re shooting yourself in the foot by pretending to be someone you’re not. Why? Because even if that woman falls in love with you, she’s not in love with you as a person. She’s in love with the character you pretended to be. In the end, that will backfire.
“What do you mean, Rock?”
Well…do you really want to get married and trust the lives of your future children with a woman who fell in love with the asshole/thug/player/baller you pretended to be? It’s like I’m starting to say more and more often…if you keep attracting people who have no honor, it could be because you yourself lack honor.
One of the major points I make in this video, is my counterargument to the psychiatrist’s point about how the woman has to earn a man’s affections.
In the Whatever Podcast’s video, he claims that when a man showers a woman with flowers and affections and gifts coming “right out of the gate” it comes off as untrustworthy to a woman because she hasn’t done anything to earn that affection. He says, “no one respects a person who wants to be liked.” And the woman may subconsciously lose respect for that man who’s giving her all that affection just to be liked in return.
What he says makes perfect sense. I have indeed witnessed/experienced this with PLENTY of women over the course of my lifetime. And on one date, my Colombian paramour admitted that she was this kind of person and even she didn’t understand why. I was 25 back then, so I couldn’t articulate what I can speak on now.
The truth is this, ladies…for a lot of us Good men, us gentlemen, us old-fashion guys, buying you flowers and showering you with gifts is NOTHING! It means very little to us. It’s just a small gesture we extend your way just to let you know we’re interested!
I believe some women, depending on how they were raised, acknowledge this and appreciate it. Some cultures accept and love this behavior as part of the custom because they haven’t been swayed by the last 20 years of Hollywood trying to demonize traditional courtship. I believe the “distrust” that some women may feel comes from two different arenas.
The 1st Arena is their own lack of self-esteem or self-respect in at least two different arenas. They first is They either don’t know their beautiful, they don’t know they’re worth it, OR they know they’re wicked, they know they’re messed up, and they’re living wrong.
That’s why I don’t put up a fight for her if she hits me with anything remotely close to, “I don’t deserve you.” In this day and age, I’m gonna go ahead and take her word on that.
The 2nd Arena of “distrust” that a lot of women may feel, comes from this messed up hook-up culture where a lot of women think that all they have to offer a man is their bodies/sex. In a culture such as this, it makes all the sense in the world that the young modern day girl is on guard for the nice things done for her when she hasn’t done anything yet to earn it, particularly if she isn’t sexually attracted to him at first sight. For a girl such as this, ANY gesture a guy does will come off as creepy and put her in fear of her virtue.
Again, my Colombian paramour was such a woman. So back in 2011, when I first met her and was trying to woo her and gift her things, she really was put off by my being a “nice guy”. This was before I even knew a hook-up culture exists. Back then, my 25-year-old self never knew people were sleeping around so casually or that people were dating multiple people at once until they made it “exclusive” (I was late and kept from this culture, another reason for my constant Clark Kent references…I’m not from this planet)
I remember one conversation years after I had another girlfriend, and she kept trying to school me about how women do want to work for the things I was very upfront in giving her. She’d mention men like the character from “The Transporter” and how a woman wants to “peel the layers back” themselves while I was doing all the work for her.
I’m not saying that she’s wrong and I’m right. All I’m saying we’re different. She didn’t like me being upfront, but others did. She was put off by my affectionate gestures and gifts, but other’s weren’t.
And what she never understood…what A LOT ladies don’t understand about men like me…just because I like you, it doesn’t mean I love you. It doesn’t mean I trust you. It doesn’t mean I’ll commit to you, and it doesn’t mean I’m about to entrust you with the lives of my future children.
The flowers, cards, and candy…that’s easy, sweetheart. It’s nothing. If you want work? Try earning my respect. See how difficult that is.
Stage In The Sky 