10 comments on “All of the Benefits but None of the Conditions – Marriage and Salvation

  1. I agree with you that people who are truly Christians will live a life that manifest it. It is not simply about making a confession and claiming to believe but living any kind of way we want.

    That said, I believe as you said it, it is wise for a man to make a wise decision in the wife he chooses. It is about people following God so the woman is wise to marry a man who is fully submitted to God and as he submits himself to God, he sets godly examples.

    Too many men want a stripper type lady that is beautiful on the outside then wants to marry her and change her into what he wants her to be. This is foolish and likely will not work.

    I’m not sure about men’s authentic love for women being common, but I know that men generally have a weakness for women and it has a lot to do with lust.

    Driven by their passion, sometimes they comply with women who lead them astray, but I’m not sure I would call this love.

    So yes, men claiming to be men of God even in the Bible were turned astray by strange women because of that lust issue.

    We cannot change people and a man probably won’t be able to change a beautiful woman who is not a godly woman. Best not to marry her and try to force it. We are told not to be unequally yoked for a reason. The goal is to go for a woman who hopefully he is attracted to and yet she is a godly woman. Being the godly woman is most important.

    • So, I’m gonna push back just a little here with the notion that “too many men want a stripper type lady”…From a man’s perspective, a woman’s beauty is very important to us, even as Christians. It’s not the number one most important thing, as I’ve illustrated that I have no problem walking away from a beautiful woman if she isn’t living by Christ’s standards. But we do need to find her attractive. I think it’d be unwise for women to think that just because a man’s attracted to how beautiful she looks, that’s a bad thing and he’s too into his lust.

      Truth is, a man does need to see her as beautiful on the outside. If we don’t, we may care about her as loving friends…but not likely a wife. We have to keep in mind, that Men and Women are different in what we value in each other. Which is why I don’t think in terms of “equally yoked”…Too many people equate equal to “same”. Instead, I like to specify that men and women are “equal in value, but different by nature”.

      Also, I don’t think I’m in the camp of “we cannot change people.” I know there’s the saying of “the only one who can change you is you” and that’s true to an extent..but sometimes people are able to influence others into wanting to change, which to me, means that we can indeed change people. It’s one of the reasons why we write these essays. Once upon a time, I wasn’t Godly. But from the influence of others and by the grace of God, I was able to change. Same here. The essays are an attempt to minister, to help others change.

      • Yes. I did already acknowledge that he should find her attractive. I do believe men are even more visual than women. Absolutely.

        Believe it or not, women desire men who are attractive as well, but sometimes a woman may change her mind after she gets to know him, even if she wasn’t initially super attracted to him.

        But there has to be attraction for a woman also. But the most important thing is that a person should be godly.

        Since the Bible says don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers, that goes for men and women, which is why I said hopefully he finds her attractive AND she’s a godly woman.

        We see in the Bible that men’s hearts were turned from God by women who were not godly, but were likely very beautiful.

        Going only for a woman’s outward beauty has messed up a lot of men and continues to do so is all I was saying.

      • lol, I gotcha. I was curious about that “unequally yoked” quote in the Bible, so i looked up at 2 Corinthians 6:14. I was a bit thrown off, because the scripture seems to be talking about not fellowshiping (being yoked) with idolators and nonbelievers. I’ve seen people use “equally yoked” to talk about both partners bringing equal stuff to the relationship, the 50/50 partnerships type stuff. truth be told, it kinda drives me up the wall. If I meet my future wife, whether we’re equals or “what she brings to the table” won’t even be a thought in my mind. Even if I’m doing more, if I love her and appreciate the value she adds to my life…I could care less about whether something’s equal.

      • Wow. Lol. I never knew any other context than the context of being equally yoked in 2nd Corinthians 6:14. Never heard of it used the other way.

      • I agree with you Rock, that a man wants a physically attractive woman, and I do not think that there is ANYTHING wrong with that. Not at all!

        But I do know men who married for beauty only to recognize that he had a woman full of folly and vanity for a wife.

        Women often do likewise; marry in the throes of sexual passion and then lament that they married a man who seems to need a mother more than a wife.

      • Agreed. My dad doesn’t seem to understand that. He calls me “selective” and shames me for looking too much at the negatives when I see that “folly” you speak of. That’s another reason why I appreciated Samuels. The world’s full of men like my dad who either has no clue as to what’s really going on, he cares more about having a grandson than me having to pay child-support to a divorced wife, or he just doesn’t take the institution of marriage seriously. For the life of me, I do.

  2. There used to be some old fairy tales about the horrors of children who never grow up, but we never hear those anymore. We don’t need those fairy tales because now we have real life examples!

  3. ‘But Rock! What about Romans 10:9 that says, “9 because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”’

    I’ve noticed that the people who use this verse as a defense are typically the ones who live their life as though the verse says “believe in your MIND” instead of “believe in your HEART”.

    One’s easy. The other…not so much.

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